NationStates Jolt Archive

With an alluminium bat? Putting the car keys in it and turning it on? Or maybe with apple juice.
Killing Bill Gates won´t fix your computer, but maybe can make you feel a little better.

Big ass sledgehammer... works on about everything

Bad computers is why we have Lighter Fluid, Gasoline, and Matches, my friend.

As I previously stated in another thread:

1. Go to your local sporting goods store.

2. Purchase an aluminum baseball bat.

3. Return to your computer.

4. Before beginning, to avoid electrocution, make sure to unplug all components of your computer.

5. With baseball bat securely held in both hands, raise it above your head.

6. Swing baseball bat down onto computer.

7. Repeat steps 5 and 6 until computer resembles applesauce.

8. Purchase new computer.

9. Thank me for this wonderful advice to the tune of $100.

Baseball bats, I spit on them *puh*

Sledgehammer is the answer to all of your problems

With an alluminium bat? Putting the car keys in it and turning it on? Or maybe with apple juice.
Killing Bill Gates won´t fix your computer, but maybe can make you feel a little better.
apple juice. you know it.
:D

nothing beats pouring coffee.

My personal fav is bon fire

I don't know.

Windows XP can bugger a computer up nicely enough on its own.

Random!

nothing beats pouring coffee.
pouring tar?



oh wait! i got it! pouring..... Apple Juice! :D
(im gonna bang on about this all day btw)

Sparklers.

Get a 6" lenghth of PVC pipe, two caps for the ends, some PVC cement, a can of pyrodex from your local sporting goods store, a wire bristle from a steel bristle brush, a nice long piece of copper wire, and a couple of 6 volt batteries. cap one end of the PVC pipe, fill with pyrodex, tamp it in with a wooden dowel wrapped on one end with duct tape for a tight fit, drill a small hole in the remaining endcap, solder the steel wire between to two lengths of copper wire, insert it through the hole in the endcap, glue the endcap securely to the open end of your bomb, place the bomb in your computer's case, play our a very long lenghth of copper wire, and connect it to the two batteries.


On second thought, don't do it. You'll either blow yourself up or get arrested.

concrete blocks, rope and quicksand. :)

concrete blocks, rope and quicksand. :)
Were you, perhaps, a member of the mafia?

Ok, I just thought of how you might actually use sparklers to absolutely wreck a computer. Firstly, I must say that you have to do this in an open space, NOT grass and with few, if any, bystanders. We wouldn't want anyone to have eye injuries, do we?
Ok, get a big bundle of sparklers taped together. I've never done this myself so I'm not sure how much you should use, but a fist sized bundle seems appropriate. Place inside the computer, with a fuse leading out of the computer, preferably to a small distance away.
If you want to look at the effects I'd recommend either videoing it and viewing it later or wearing some heavy duty eye protection. Again, I've never done this myself, so you should go on the safe side and get some very heavy duty eye protection.

Were you, perhaps, a member of the mafia?

No. I just have some experience with quicksand. Almost anything(anyone) you want to get rid of can be tossed into quicksand.

Because you have to keep your wits about you to survive in quicksand. That's what I like about it. :)

Taser.

Homemade Thermite. Mix finely ground aluminum and finely ground rust. Put it in a metal can, ignite it with a mix of magnesium shavings or powder mixed with potassium nitrate. Don't stare into the flame.

No. I just have some experience with quicksand. Almost anything(anyone) you want to get rid of can be tossed into quicksand.

Because you have to keep your wits about you to survive in quicksand. That's what I like about it. :)

I'd be screwed then. I don't have wits to begin with.

Now I know what to get you for christmas. :D

There's a website somewhere where you can pay to have your computer sent there, then they blow it up and send an e-mail with a video of it being destroyed. Sadly, I don't have the link. :(

How about a flamethrower?

There's a website somewhere where you can pay to have your computer sent there, then they blow it up and send an e-mail with a video of it being destroyed. Sadly, I don't have the link. :(

It's probably cheaper and infinitely more fun to do it yourself.
Do they give you a choice of various inventive methods of destruction or do they just blow it to bits?

There's a website somewhere where you can pay to have your computer sent there, then they blow it up and send an e-mail with a video of it being destroyed. Sadly, I don't have the link. :(
thats ok I prefer to do my own


Awww the memories

*remembers the one time we took an old outhouse out of the back yard of a house my friend just bought out to his land and burned a computer in it sitting right on the throne* great time ... when I get home i will have to attach pictures :)

Attach it via a lengthy rope to the back of a rear wheel drive car and practice donut spins whilst dragging it behind you!

Nothing satisfies quite like dropping an irritating computer from a great height, say ten or twenty storeys up. The trick is to not kill passersby.

Surely that is part of the fun! :D

Trebuchet!

Trebuchet!
Been done, thanks to our local RenFest devotees who had the foresight to build one a couple years ago. Very, very cool. Our fest is held in the remains of a gravel pit (how they made grass grow is a mystery itself) - but there's plenty of open space to aim for.

Toss it out a window from very high up.

What Tonylandotopia said.

How to wreck your computer:

Option 1:
Install Windows ME, AIM, 4 or 5 music stealing programs, and then view porn daily using Internet Explorer. Wait for spyware to render your computer useless.

Option 2:
Place large smelly fish inside case. Place in the middle of the woods. Wait for bears to maul computer to bits.

Option 3:
Send computer to my Grandmother.

Option 4:
One word: chainsaw.

Option 5:
Suspend computer over pit of acid. Build over-complicated system of pulleys, candles, canarys, axes, and rope. Use system to slowly lower computer into pit of acid. Watch as computer somehow escapes, then shoot it with a shotgun and throw it in the pit of acid anyways.

Been done, thanks to our local RenFest devotees who had the foresight to build one a couple years ago. Very, very cool. Our fest is held in the remains of a gravel pit (how they made grass grow is a mystery itself) - but there's plenty of open space to aim for.

I know it's been done before, but any excuse to build a trebuchet. :D

How about giving it a loving burial?

(crickets)

Ok, whatever, blow it up.

Kick it in the balls.

you could always, y'know, take it apart and re-use all the parts...

http://www.inicia.es/de/Turbo_J/metelev1_01.swf

this is how.

you could always, y'know, take it apart and re-use all the parts...

Great idea! If you rip the CD tray out, it makes a really good coaster.

http://www.inicia.es/de/Turbo_J/metelev1_01.swf

this is how.
thats the most theraputic thing ive ever done... thank you! lmao!

Tehre is nothing quite like overclocking and frying the motherboard.

Pick axe, once you've used that, attach it to a car, and drag it for 5 miles, no more, no less. Once that's done, bury it in the local marshlands.

I make my tally... what 6 now?

Pick axe, once you've used that, attach it to a car, and drag it for 5 miles, no more, no less. Once that's done, bury it in the local marshlands.

I make my tally... what 6 now?

Are we still talking about PCs?
:)

Are we still talking about PCs?
:)

You're saying you DON'T do that to your PC?

:o

You're saying you DON'T do that to your PC?

:o

I did it to someone else's once...

With an alluminium bat? Putting the car keys in it and turning it on? Or maybe with apple juice.
Killing Bill Gates won´t fix your computer, but maybe can make you feel a little better.

Install Windows ME on it, sit back, and watch the fireworks.

Thermite works pretty well.

Thermite works pretty well.

You don't need thermite as long as you've got enough sparklers.

Install Windows ME on it, sit back, and watch the fireworks.
Windows ME was only designed to work properly with just a single PC game. That will only happen if you use that OS for anything else.

Just let my two year old daughter give it the kiss of death. Or my seven year old son - either will do.

You don't need thermite as long as you've got enough sparklers.
Thermite is just a big sparkler so...

put the computer on the floor, RAM YOUR HEAD INTO THE MONITER, TAKE THE PAIN THAT YOU ARE FEELING AND CHANNEL IT TO KICKING THE HARD DRIVE, STAB THE SPEAKERS, JUMP ON THE KEY BOARD, SMACK THE MOUSE ON THE FLOOR, jump on the whole mess a thousand times, put it in a garbage bag, throw off a bridge onto a highway, then urinate on the whole mess :)

steamroller. Or drop a dumpster on it somehow. if youve really got some seroius green, use a cruise ship.

Thermite is just a big sparkler so...

But there is a sweet irony in taking the crappest firework ever and destroying something with it.

But there is a sweet irony in taking the crappest firework ever and destroying something with it.
Hmmmmm, I guess you're right :D

The ultimate computer destroyer-A nuke.

Shame I do not have the funding to purchase one from russia... It'd be cool to nuke my system-then also get vaporised.

Donating it to country involved in a extreme civil unrest (preferably one where bombs go off).

Windows ME was only designed to work properly with just a single PC game. That will only happen if you use that OS for anything else.
Like memory management
resource alocation
File allocation ...

Anything else an os normaly does

Ive been sitting there infront of a win ME machine when it just randomly deleted its own system file and blue screens

Silly bastards

You could use your computer in the shower, then have a sugary cup of tea and accidentally pour it onto the motherboard.

Or even better, you could take the casing off, turn on the computer, then piss about with the components to see what happens. While wearing copper rings and bracelets and standing in a bucket of water.