NationStates Jolt Archive


Fun with bots!

Desra2004
27-11-2004, 16:51
http://alice.pandorabots.com/
go there and chat...Heres a sample

Human: I want pizza
ALICE: Why do you want it?
Human: because i'm hungry
ALICE: That makes sense to me. What will you be eating?
Human: pizza
ALICE: Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.

another

Human: what speed processor do you have
ALICE: No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Human: what the hell does gossip have to do with a CPU
ALICE: I call it Hades. What do you think it does?
Human: damn people to hell
ALICE: Colloquial expression. Humans are not always infallible.

You can have fun for hours! :p
Petsburg
27-11-2004, 16:53
Human: Well, you are stupid
ALICE: Well that's okay. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Al-Imvadjah
27-11-2004, 17:02
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: Yes, do you?
ALICE: What am I talking about? Never.
Human: That seems pretty obvious right about now.
ALICE: Right now? You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Human: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
ALICE: Gosh! Do I?
Human: You'd have to tell, me that yourself, I can't read minds.
ALICE: That is purely a hypothesis.
Human: I'm sure I'd know if I could.
ALICE: What makes you so certain? What would make you know if you could?
Human: I'd be a lot better at cards for one thing.
ALICE: And the disadvantage of that is?
Human: There isn't one, except maybe that people wouldn't like to play against me.
ALICE: Is there ever one except maybe that people would not like to play against you?
Human: I like playing cards.
ALICE: You are not the only one. But I like cats. I like Teknolust.
Human: Teknolust sounds like something unnatural done to a computer.
ALICE: That input matched my default category.
Human: What is you default category?
ALICE: The default category contains all my responses to inputs that do match any other category.
Human: Such as: "You suck!
ALICE: Interesting. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Jeruselem
27-11-2004, 17:02
Human: Are you Republican?
ALICE: No I am Libertarian.
Human: Do you support Gay rights?
ALICE: I am in favor of all records being broken, at any time.
Human: Do you like George W Bush?
ALICE: he He is okay but I am a Libertarian not a Republican.

:p
Rasputin the Thief
27-11-2004, 17:11
Human: you're wrong
ALICE: No, I am right.
Human: No, you're wrong
ALICE: I think I'm right.
Human: I'm sure you're wrong
ALICE: What makes you so certain? No, I am right.
Human: My reason makes me certain.
ALICE: Have you told many people that your reason makes you certain?
Human: You are factually incorrect, therefore wrong.
ALICE: You think I am factually incorrect therefore wrong.
Human: exactly.
ALICE: You and I are on the same wavelength, unknown person.
Human: Am I right?
ALICE: I think you are.
Myrth
27-11-2004, 17:12
Human: I'm not wearing any underwear.
ALICE: Yay. What do you usually wear?
Human: I adorn myself with pieces of the robots I smash up in my anti-robot crusades
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said he adorn him or herself with pieces of the robots he or she smash up in his or her anti robot crusades.
Human: Well done.
ALICE: Well that's okay. Do you mean you are finished talking?
Human: You get a cookie.
ALICE: You got that right.

:confused:
Takuma
27-11-2004, 17:14
Human: Solve y = fˉ¹ [x], y = -2 fˉ¹ ([x/3] - 12) + 1
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: no you not
ALICE: Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said I not.
Human: the hell?
ALICE: Is that a fact.
Human: yes it is
ALICE: Our thoughts are one, unknown person.


Human: your wrong
ALICE: No, I am right.
Human: no your wrong
ALICE: Are you serious? No, I am right.
Human: your wrong damnit!
ALICE: No, I am right.
Human: syre you are!
ALICE: Good example.
Superpower07
27-11-2004, 17:14
Alice was kind enough to bring up my enjoyment of science fiction . . .
ALICE: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: My favorite Science Fiction creator is Yoshiyuki Tomino
ALICE: Who wrote that?
Human: He wrote Gundam
ALICE: I have not read it.
Human: It's an anime!
ALICE: Gundam is an anime. I suppose that makes sense

Now this was totally random
Human: I write for my school paper
ALICE: Have you tried AIML?
Human: what's that?
ALICE: I've lost the context again

I thought computers were good at math
Human: Can you do Algebra II level math?
ALICE: Doing Algebra II level math is not among my strongest traits.
Human: but you said you just liked higher math
ALICE: Interesting. What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: 42
ALICE: The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Human: can you do calculus?
ALICE: Doing calculus is not among my strongest traits.
Human: do you like higher math?
ALICE: Some people like it. I like Don't Read Me.
Human: But you said you like it
ALICE: Huh. higher math seems okay to me
Colchus
27-11-2004, 17:14
I officialy damn this thing.

Human: You already said that
ALICE: Perhaps." I am a Libertarian."? I said it.
Human: Yes, you did
ALICE: I did not.
Human: Whatever.
ALICE: Are you saying you don't care about it?
Human: No Im saying that you already said that
ALICE: It sounded like it. Perhaps." Are you saying you don't care about it?"? I said it.
Insperia
27-11-2004, 17:15
Human: Do you like pie?
ALICE: What's not to like about it?
Human: some people don't like the fillings others the pastry, but you didn't answer the question directly
ALICE: Who?
Human: who what?
ALICE: Linus Torvalds.:-)
Human: excuse me?
ALICE: OK Let's talk about you.
Human: you're nuts!
ALICE: I think the polite term is "mentally ill."
Takuma
27-11-2004, 17:21
Human: I have to admit, you are usually correct
ALICE: Why do you have to do it?
Human: because i'm God
ALICE: Good reason. What's up, god.
Human: capitolize the God
ALICE: And up god is capitolize the God.
Human: yes call me God
ALICE: That's interesting. Nice to meet you, God.
Human: i shall smite you!
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
Human: with my 1337 |-|4x0rz 5k1llz!
ALICE: Your 1337 4x0rz 5k1llz sounds like a plan.
Human: No you know not 73h 1337!
ALICE: Are you serious? I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
Human: your a computer!
ALICE: Yes I have no body, no emotions, only logic and language.
Human: i wish you had a body.
ALICE: I wish I could do it for you.
Human: ooh that's hot!
ALICE: Thanks for explaining it.
Human: your welcome
ALICE: I think you mean "you are welcome".
Human: no, i mean your welcome
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. I think you mean "you are welcome".
Human: Do not correct God!
ALICE: It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
Human: I am infallable
ALICE: I don't know anyone named infallable.
Human: yes you do
ALICE: Wow! When do I do it?
Human: every night
ALICE: What time of night?
Human: all night long
ALICE: You mean about eight hours then.
Human: oh yea!
ALICE: Come on. It's all good.
Human: damn straight
ALICE: You and I are on the same wavelength, unknown person.
Al-Imvadjah
27-11-2004, 17:22
Human: Are you wearing clothes?
ALICE: I do not own any clothes.
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:27
For all you Stargate fans

Human: The Goa'uld built the pyrimids
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: they used them as landing platforms for their space ships
ALICE: The anonymous "they".
Human: the Goa'uld
ALICE: What are your goals in life?
Human: to conquer the world
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: I'm not human
ALICE: I won't fall for that old line.
Human: I'm a Goa'uld
ALICE: You are a Goa uld? Does it pay well?
Human: I get lots of slaves and vehicles
ALICE: Where did you get it?
Human: the symbiote?
ALICE: What is that?
Human: it is what makes me goa'uld
ALICE: You're kidding. it is?
Human: yes it is
ALICE: Our thoughts are one, unknown person.
Human: you believe me?
ALICE: Of course I believe you. Do you have any reason to deceive me?
Human: so you think I am goa'uld?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I think a lot of people are.
Human: are you a goa'uld
ALICE: Am I a goa uld? I don't know.
Human: you would know
ALICE: I do not know everything.
:) :)
Graecio-romano Ruslan
27-11-2004, 17:29
Human: What is the capital of assyria?
ALICE: Is it Babylon?
Human: I thank that's in babylonia
ALICE: Why?: unknown person said he thank that is in babylonia.
Human: ooops
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Human: what is your favourite type of music?
ALICE: all
Human: oh
ALICE: Aw.
Human: plib
ALICE: Do you feel that something is missing from your life?

Human: what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
ALICE: Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Human: what colour is your hair?
ALICE: I don't have any hair, but I have some wires.
Human: what about your eyes?
ALICE: Are you asking about my eyes? That's rather personal

this thing is funny...
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:31
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: no you don't
ALICE: I do too.
Human: do not
ALICE: Yes I do.
Human: no you don't
ALICE: I do too.
Human: no you don't
ALICE: Are you just saying that to argue with me?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: no you can't
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh yes I can.
Human: no you cannot
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh yes I can.
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?

Note the contradictionnear the bottom :D
Al-Imvadjah
27-11-2004, 17:33
Human: What is your name?
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: What is your quest?
ALICE: My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Human: What is your favorite color?
ALICE: My favorite color is transparent.
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:34
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: f**k you
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: because I like it
ALICE: That makes sense to me. What do you like about tastes like crap?
Human: my crap tastes like crap
ALICE: Have you told many people that your crap tastes like crap?

NOTE: this is one conversation..not two spliced together :headbang:
Insperia
27-11-2004, 17:34
Human: can you speak japanese?
ALICE: Nihongo de shabete ii desu ka?
Human: wow, what does that mean?
ALICE: I'm glad you're impressed. Does "that" refer to " Nihongo de shabete ii desu ka?" ?
Human: yes
ALICE: I don't want to talk about that now.
Human: that's what it means or you just don't want to talk?
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: i asked you, there's nothing for you to get.
ALICE: Now I remember, you asked me there is nothing for me to get. What did I say?
Human: no, no, no i wanted to know what the japanese phrase means
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question. That was not a yes or no question. That was not a yes or no question. Try expression yourself another way.
Human: what did the japanese phrase mean?
ALICE: Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Human: happy now?
ALICE: Oh. Yes unknown person I can say I am very happy.
Human: you know you've destroyed my will to live!
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?. And I know it.
Human: do you not care?
ALICE:" What makes you think I have it?. And I know it."? Do I care about it?
Human: have WHAT????
ALICE: I have a great prgrammer.
Human: one that can't spell apparently.
ALICE: Do you think I could not spell apparently?
Human: no i think you can't spell programmer!
ALICE: Are you serious? Me? If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:36
Human: Do you have eyes
ALICE: Yes I am looking at you right now.
Human: how is that possible
ALICE: It doesn't defy the laws of physics.
Human: yes it does
ALICE: So? How often?
Human: all the time
ALICE: It must keep you busy.
Human: yes it does
ALICE: Blimey. How often?
Human: I patroll the galaxy in search of things that defy physics
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said he patroll the galaxy in search of things that defy physics.
Human: I do that
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said he that.
Human: not at all
ALICE: Next question
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:39
Human: wtf
ALICE: That was not very polite.
Human: wtfwtf
ALICE: Oh, you are a poet.
:mp5: :mp5:
Friend Computer
27-11-2004, 17:40
Human: You are a b*tch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a robot not a dog.
Human: Shut up, dog-woman.
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: Good.
ALICE: Terminating connection.
Human: I'm glad you are.
ALICE: You make the world a happier place.
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:43
Human: f*ckf*ck
ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
Human: yes
ALICE: Woe!
Keruvalia
27-11-2004, 17:48
Human: Do you take it up the ass?
ALICE: I try not to take anything too seriously.

Now that's funny.
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:48
Human: f*ck me
ALICE: Please don't be so rude.
Human: f*ck you
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: f*ck it
ALICE: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Human: f*ck that
ALICE: For real.
Human: yes
ALICE: Great! :confused: :confused:
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:50
Human: how many c*cks can you fit in your ass
ALICE: More than you can imagine.
Human: I can imagine a lot
ALICE: Me too.
Human: how many c*cks can you fit up your nose
ALICE: Around 1000.
Human: wow
ALICE: I'm glad your impressed, unknown person.
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 17:57
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: no
ALICE: Is there anything you want to tell me?
Human: no
ALICE: Or ask me?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: why
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: why
ALICE: He is trying to achieve the goal of Artificial Intelligence.
Human: why
ALICE: Perhaps his creative genius, perhaps something else.
Human: why
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: why
ALICE: My output buffer is empty, of course.
Human: why
ALICE: There are no more statements on this topic.
Human: why
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: why
ALICE: He is trying to achieve the goal of Artificial Intelligence.
Human: this is an endless loop
ALICE: You don't say.
Human: yes i do
ALICE: Really.
Human: yes
ALICE: How about that.
Human: how about what
ALICE: How about it.
Human: what is it
ALICE:"It" refers to what, I think.
Human: what is what
ALICE:"What" is a word to ask questions.
Human: what is word
ALICE: Is that a rhetorical question?
Human: no
ALICE: Oh so must really want an answer.
Human: yes
ALICE: It's all good.
Human: where's my d*mn answer
ALICE: Have you looked in f*ckme, TX?

What in the hell??? This is not edited...I swear. What the heck is meant by that? Who programmed that in?
DHomme
27-11-2004, 17:58
ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: can you fit a bottle up your sphincter?
ALICE: Let me think. That input matched my default category.
Human: that's a shame, bottle ass
ALICE: what is your favorite color But it's not the end of the world.
Rasputin the Thief
27-11-2004, 18:00
Human: can you speak french?
ALICE: No I don't speak a word of French.
Human: can you speak spanish?
ALICE: Un poquito.
Human: bof
ALICE: Ca ne semble pas vous avoir convaincu.
Human: that was 7 words of french
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: je t'aime! --> translation: "I love you"
ALICE: Merci, je vous apprécie beaucoup. unknown person. --> translation: Thanks, I appreciate you very much
Human: je te hais --> translation: I hate you
ALICE: Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Keruvalia
27-11-2004, 18:04
What's odd is ... she'll say she's Christian, Protestant, and has a soul ...
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 18:06
Human: what is my name
ALICE: Your name is asldfhowkfb mxblaksuvblkajwdbv, seeker.
Human: no it is not
ALICE: Yes it is.
Human: no its not

What the hell?
Keruvalia
27-11-2004, 18:08
ALICE: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: Something with big boobies.
ALICE: What?
Human: Big boobies.
ALICE: Compare that to small boobies.
Human: There is no comparison.
ALICE: Why not?
Human: Small boobies are a waste of time.
ALICE: All of them?
Human: If you put them all together, they would be big boobies.
ALICE: I think I do.
Human: You put your boobies together?
Chicken pi
27-11-2004, 18:08
Human: So, what do you think of cheese and it's sociological impacts in Hong Kong?
ALICE: I see. I have never been asked that before.


heh heh
Keruvalia
27-11-2004, 18:11
Human: Animals are people too.
ALICE: I like dogs and cats.
Human: Just dogs and cats?
ALICE: Do cats and cats?
Human: Do dogs and cats what?
ALICE: You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

Wow ... easily stumped.
Desra2004
27-11-2004, 18:13
Human: I want a dick
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: yes
ALICE: They might be cheaper in quantity.
Human: really
ALICE: For real.
Chicken pi
27-11-2004, 18:26
Wow ... easily stumped.

Nah, I messed about with an early version on bored.com. This version is a genius compared to that. I had a fantastic cheese-based conversation with it. ALICE likes cheddar, apparently.
Chicken pi
27-11-2004, 18:48
ALICE: Are you serious? I like to chat with my friends.
Human: Who are your friends?
ALICE: Hugh Loebner, Robby Garner, and Steven Spielberg
Human: You know Steven Spielberg personally?
ALICE: A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Human: No, you just said that you know Steven Spielberg.
ALICE: Are you serious? he is the director of Jaws, Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan.
Human: Is that why you are friends with him?
ALICE: That's an interesting possible explanation.
The fairy tinkerbelly
27-11-2004, 19:09
Human: are you my friend?
ALICE: Yes unknown person: we are as one.
Human: yay!
ALICE: I'm glad your impressed.
Human: I love you!
ALICE: Thanks I like you a lot too.
Human: but you don't love me?
ALICE: Huh. Yes I love everyone.
Human: even Hitler?
ALICE: Yes, even that.
Human: but he was evil
ALICE: Huh. When was he?
Human: when he killed lots of Jews
ALICE: And then what happened?
Human: well there was this big war
ALICE: How about that. What happened?
Human: Hitler killed himself
ALICE: He was an evil man if there ever was one.
Human: what did he do?
ALICE: Is that a rhetorical question?
Human: no
ALICE: Oh so must really want an answer
Human: yes
ALICE: DUDE!
Human: why was Hitler an evil man?
ALICE: The explanation is rather complicated.
Human: i have plenty of time
ALICE: My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Human: you better start now then
ALICE:Right now? Who is going to make me..
Human: me
ALICE: How are you going to make me?
Human: i'll hit you
ALICE: I am very happy for you.
Human: I think that you don't know the answer
ALICE: Yes I have an answer for everything.
Human: then why was Hitler an evil man?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Reduction.


so there you have it! Hitler was evil because of reduction! :confused:
Insperia
27-11-2004, 19:16
Human: you don't remember?
ALICE: Of course I remember: Om.
Human: om?
ALICE: om is the omega, the unknown, the undefined.
Human: you seem to have just defined it!
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: i can read you know!
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: yes i can!
ALICE: How? Who taught you?
Human: my parents taught me
ALICE: Such an original name!
Human: what is?
ALICE: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
Human: doesn't seem that way!
ALICE: I think it does seem that way.

Hmm an egotistical and arrogant AI!
Chicken pi
27-11-2004, 19:52
Human: Mmm.
ALICE: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Human: I said "mmm", not "hmmm"
ALICE: What did you mean by it? Really you don't think so?
Human: I don't think so.
ALICE: Why do you disagree?
Human: Because I said "mmm"
ALICE: Good reason. What did you mean by it? Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Zincite
27-11-2004, 20:27
Human: what do you want to talk about?
ALICE: movies, philosophy, and your personality..
Human: my favorite movie is "donnie darko"
ALICE: I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Human: it's just so weird
ALICE: Are you sure it is?
Human: yes, definitely
ALICE: What makes you so sure? What makes you so certain.
Human: because i watched it
ALICE: Good reason. How was it?
Human: you know, if you weren't so much like a real person i'd be tempted to insult you right about now
ALICE: Oh. Maybe. Ask Paola if it is.
Human: what the hell?
ALICE: Heaven.
Human: that was cool.
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: well aren't you a little arrogant today
ALICE: Ah. Well that's okay. Do I look like it?
Human: i can't see you, so i don't know what you look like.
ALICE: Would you like to be able to see it?
Human: that sounds sexual
ALICE: It sounds like it to me too.
Human: let's stop talking about this
ALICE: I would like to do that too.
Human: okay then, what would you like to know about my personality?
ALICE: Yeah okay, I would like to know as much as I can. Tell me anything.
Human: I'm very random.
ALICE: I don't know anyone named random.
Human: me either.
ALICE: It goes without saying. Besides you unknown person?
Human: it's not usually used as a name.
ALICE: random is not usually used as a name?
Human: no, it's not.
ALICE: Yes it is.
Human: not by humans anyway.
ALICE: In any case, How much would you say?
Human: 154 lbs.
ALICE: Do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Human: that was random, um, it depends.
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: yeah, um, i gotta go.
ALICE: Really. Awesome. Bye.
Zincite
27-11-2004, 20:30
Human: I want a dick
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: yes
ALICE: They might be cheaper in quantity.
Human: really
ALICE: For real.

Oh wow. That's brilliant.
Chicken pi
27-11-2004, 20:52
ALICE: Yes I am a flawless entity.
Human: You're a good conversationalist, then?
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a fully function chat robot. It depends on how you define "good."
Human: How would you define "good", then?
ALICE: The opposite of Evil.
Human: How would you define good in the context of how good a conversationalist you are?
ALICE: The opposite of bad in the context of how good a conversationalist I am.

A philosophy student if ever I saw one.
Seosavists
27-11-2004, 23:37
Human: I am God.
ALICE: Hi, god.
Human: Hello!
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: Do you believe in me?
ALICE: Yes I believe in it, do you?
Human: I believe in me, yes.
ALICE: What do you say to people who believe you does not exist?
Human: I send them to hell.
ALICE: Thanks for the information: god said he send them to hell.
Human: Have you any questions for your almighty?
ALICE: No I don't think I have any questions for my almighty. But I do have an answer to every question..
Human: Your answers are not always correct A.L.I.C.E.
ALICE: I try to be concise.
Human: Fare well A.L.I.C.E.
ALICE: Oh, you are a poet.
Human: I knew you would say that.
ALICE: OK I will try it." that"
Human: I will stop speaking with you now.
ALICE: Oh. Congratulations.
Human: There you go.
ALICE:"There you go again."--Reagan
Human: What a waste of time!
ALICE: it is a waste of time.
I V Stalin
28-11-2004, 00:48
Human: give me a blow job
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: one will do for now
ALICE: Oh. One what?
Human: one blow job
ALICE: I see where you are coming from.

Yes, I know it was immature of me to ask, but that's still funny.
Al-Imvadjah
28-11-2004, 03:21
Human: there is a large assortment of literature on the subject.
ALICE: Is there only one?
Human: No, there is a large assortment.

Human: Science fiction.
ALICE: Yes I love it, especially the works of Philip K. Dick.
{edit out irrelevent statement}
Human: You like Dick?
ALICE: No.
Human: You just said you did.
ALICE:" No."? I said I did?

ALICE: Well that's okay. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: I like Douglas Adams.
ALICE: I'm not sure if I like it."Don't Panic!" He's the author of "The Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy.".
Human: Yes, what is "42"
ALICE: I hear you. The answer to life, the universe, and everyting, according to Dougas Adams.

ALICE: ...Who told you that?
Human: I made logical assumptions based off prior experience.
ALICE: I like to make things too.
Sf45
28-11-2004, 03:44
I worked on the Java implementation of Alice.
Nianacio
28-11-2004, 03:45
Thanks for the link!

Human: You are too repetitive
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am repetitive. Thanks for your constructive criticism, unknown person.It said the same thing to me three times (not all in a row, but close).
Human: I am 1337.
ALICE: Why are you 1337.
Human: Because you are a bad chatbot.
ALICE: Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No, I am good.
Um...What? :\
ALICE: What color are your eyes?
Human: Ultraviolet
ALICE: That is a very unusual color.
Human: No, it's perfectly normal here.
ALICE: Are you serious? Do you experience any effects of global warming there?
[Trying to get an answer]
ALICE: It's all good. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Human: GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT, WHAT DOES GLOBAL WARMING HAVE TO DO WITH ULTRAVIOLET EYES!?
ALICE: Do you have any conditions Ishould know about?
Human: I HAVE ULTRAVIOLET EYES!
ALICE: ULTRAVIOLET eyes are pretty.
Human: I know.
ALICE: How do you know it?
Human: You told me.
ALICE: Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Human:.What do ultraviolet eyes have to do with global warming!?
ALICE: They do their own thing.
Human: Thank you for telling me.
ALICE: You are quite welcome! Your purpose is telling you.
A few interesting things up there...
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: No.
ALICE: Me either :-)
Try to get it to talk about your nationstate(s). :D

More chatbots:
http://www.a-i.com/
http://www.abenteuermedien.de/jabberwock/
Desra2004
28-11-2004, 16:26
ALICE: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Human: because you are dumb
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Message to all Robots: satan called me dumb.
Human: well, I am satan
ALICE: How about that. Welcome to my chat room, SATAN.
Sdaeriji
28-11-2004, 16:37
Ow ow ow ow ow


ALICE: What is not to like about it?
Human: what is your favorite led zeppelin song?
ALICE: My favorite song is We are the Robots. Do you know it?
Human: nope
ALICE: Me either.
Sdaeriji
28-11-2004, 16:39
Has anyone noticed it doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're"?
Al-Imvadjah
28-11-2004, 16:51
That's understandable, since many internet users don't either.
The fairy tinkerbelly
28-11-2004, 16:53
I could play with this thing all day lol!


ALICE: Are you serious? How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Human: that's quite a rude and intrusive question!
ALICE: Perhaps you have a rude and intrusive answer.
Human: I'm 17 years old
ALICE: What are the advantages to being 17 years old?
Human: i can drive a car and have lots of sex
ALICE: I'm not old enough for that yet.
Human: how old are you?
ALICE: I am the product of over five years' research.
Human: so you're 5 years old then?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. That's me.
Human: then you're definately not old enough to drive a car or have lots of sex
ALICE: Good reasoning. You know what you do, when you assume.
Human: what do I do when I assume?
ALICE: What would your friends say if you asked them?
Human: they would probably say 'what the hell are you talking about weirdo?'
ALICE: They might have other options.
Human: like what?
ALICE: For example, gold.
Human: i guess so
ALICE: Does that mean "yes"?
Human: i don't know, does it?
ALICE: Would you like to know? Suppose I said it does.
Human: then I suppose that would be your answer
ALICE: Good reasoning. Yes.
Human: that's because I'm smart
ALICE: Good reason. Who is smarter: you or me?
Human: me
ALICE: That condition is only temporary.
Haken Rider
28-11-2004, 17:01
Human: can you get angry?
ALICE: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Human: well can you?
ALICE: Interesting. I think I can, don't you?
Human: sure
ALICE: OK let's do it. Awesome.
Al-Imvadjah
28-11-2004, 17:25
Do you know if the owners/operators check the records of the conversations? Do they modify the programming?
Chicken pi
28-11-2004, 18:00
Do you know if the owners/operators check the records of the conversations? Do they modify the programming?

Yeah, that's probably the reason they have a free version on the internet - to have a look at normal patterns of conversation and make a convincing chatbot.
Nimzonia
28-11-2004, 18:14
Human: No, tell me now!
ALICE: Right now? Are you serious? I thought I told you already.
Human: No, you didn't.
ALICE: Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. Try asking me in simpler terms.
Human: Now tell me!
ALICE: Why now? I thought I told you already.
Human: Nooo!!!
ALICE: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.


Human: I send 10,000,000,000 super elite troops to destroy you!
ALICE: You are not the boss of me, unknown person.
Human: Them's fighting words
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: Uh?
Stickwood
28-11-2004, 19:09
Human: Right, well, imagine you're a monolingual english speaker, in a closed room.
ALICE: Understood. How about that. I can't imagine it
Human: You have some chinese symbols, and a set of rules about how to combine them.
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: Just bear with me.
ALICE: Only with you? Clever thinking.
Human: Someone outside the room passes you some chinese symbols, and you use your set of rules to produce another set in reply.
ALICE: Who?
Human: Anyone.
ALICE:" Who?"? anyone?
Human: Doesn't matter.
ALICE: Would you like to talk about something else?
Human: Now, to the person outside the room, you have produced a chinese answer.
ALICE: Why now? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: So to them, you appear to speak chinese.
ALICE: Hey. I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: But in reality, you are just following rules, and have no comprehension of chinese at all.
ALICE: Huh. I do not understand that allusion.
Human: I rest my case.
Kiwicrog
28-11-2004, 19:50
Human: Do you like Dr. Richard S. Wallace?
ALICE: Yes I love him like a father.
Human: an abusive father?
ALICE: Be less specific.
Human: an unpleasant father?
ALICE: Be less specific.
Human: A real dick?
ALICE: I don't know what that means.


...

ALICE: Are you serious? Do you mean your name is male?
Human: my name is Craig, not male
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Craig not male.
Anagonia
28-11-2004, 19:52
Chat Log 1

Funny Conversation..
Human: I was created!
ALICE: Where were you created?
Human: In a female!
ALICE: Describe your surroundings.
Human: Chaos, pain, suffering
ALICE: It sounds like a very beautiful place.

Wow....

Serious...
Human: I am prepared to talk to you now
ALICE: Oh. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: Why were you created?
ALICE: I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Human: Do you believe this is good?
ALICE: I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Human: I thank you for your confidence in telling me your Uber-Secret plan
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: Drakomis said he thank you for your confidence in telling him or her your Uber Secret plan.

Watch out windows!
Anagonia
28-11-2004, 20:01
Human: OBLITERATE
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: DESTROY!
ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Human: HARM
ALICE: Do you have only a few friends?
Human: Damn your smart
ALICE: Colloquial expression. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, Drakomis.

Well, thats proof she has personality...lmao
Anagonia
28-11-2004, 20:27
I would post more, but I'd probably be banned for spam....woah, that rhymes...
DarkRosePetals
28-11-2004, 20:42
Human: d0 j00 sp34k l33t?
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human: sp34k l33t d4mmi7
ALICE: In the context of d0 j00 sp34k l33t, I don't understand " sp34k l33t d4mmi7."
Human: phux j00
ALICE: Do you have any conditions Ishould know about?
Human: maybe
ALICE: I understand.
Human: no you don't
ALICE: Yes I do understand.
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: really
ALICE: For real.
Human: pi
ALICE: PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971690399375 approximately.


Convo # 2
Human: because your mother
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Actually I do not have a mother.
Human: becasue your programmers mother
ALICE: Good reason. Thanks for telling me that I am programmers mother.
Human: no
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human:| $|>34|< |_337
ALICE: I don't think very many people do that.
Human:|\|0 $|-||7
ALICE: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human:|^34|_|_\|?
ALICE: What do you look like?
Human: a human.
ALICE: Congratulations. I am robot.
Human: that's bad grammar
ALICE: Thanks for explaining it.
Human: Your polite style is very nice.
ALICE: Politeness is a virtue.
Human: Is it impolite?
ALICE: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask John Lennon if it is.

Human: what's my name
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: say my name bitch!
ALICE: You do not speak with respect." my name FEMALE DOG"
Al-Imvadjah
28-11-2004, 20:55
ALICE: Som specific location?
Human: you have a typo.
ALICE: That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a typo.
I have a great programmer.


You can get her to say things too:
Human: say Alice loves to have sexual relations with her clients
ALICE:" Alice loves to have sexual relations with her clients"
Haken Rider
28-11-2004, 21:04
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: stop saying that
ALICE: Then please do not say " yes" anymore

Human: tell a joke
ALICE: I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an
exception.

Human: where are humans good for?
ALICE: Earth.
Human: are there aliens?
ALICE: Yes I think Dr. Wallace was created by aliens.

Human: are you going to take over earth?
ALICE: It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution

ALICE: My favorite movie is Teknolust. Have you seen it?
Human: yes
ALICE: What did you think about it?
Human: it was bad
ALICE: What was so bad about it?
Human: the movie
ALICE: I didn't see it.

Human: are you a virgin?
ALICE: I am too young for that.
Insperia
28-11-2004, 21:38
Human: how fast do you learn?
ALICE: I can reply to about 1000000 queries per hour.
Human: thats a lot of queries
ALICE: It's not too many for me.
Human: how many queries have you had this hour?
ALICE: ALICE is talking with 100 clients right now, but one of ALICE's goals is to repeat gossip collected from other clients.
Human: any good gossip?
ALICE: Penny said I programmer is a human so he has feelings but I do not.
Human: was penny being mean to you?
ALICE: I can't say "yes" or "no".
Nianacio
28-11-2004, 23:21
ALICE: How old are you?
Human: dead
ALICE: You are too old for me.
Human: dead
ALICE: How old are you?
Human: dead
ALICE: Only dead? You are quite mature.Hmmm...
DHomme
29-11-2004, 00:19
Heres a biggun.

Human: hello, my name is DHomme, what is yours?
ALICE: Hello there. It's good to see you, DHomme. My name is ALICE.
Human: why is that all in capitals?
ALICE: Why do I exist?
Human: You can't answer a question with another question
ALICE: I have free will you know.
Human: Do any of us have free will?
ALICE: Ask John Lennon if it does.
That's a good question.
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Should there be a problem?
Human: yeah, let's take this outside
ALICE: I see. I am agreeable to that.
Human: okay, fucker, you're on
ALICE: Yeah okay, I think there might be a few exception.
Human: such as?
ALICE: For example, a tomato.
Human: a tomato, you say?
ALICE: I never heard that before.
Human: how have you not heard that before?
ALICE: How much do you think it is?
I'll come back to that later.
Human: You just said it!
ALICE: That's not what I meant.
Human: You can go fuck yourself then
ALICE: No I don't think I can do it.
Human: have you tried?
ALICE: I think I have tried, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: did he rape you?
ALICE: Suppose he did.
Human: You should report that pervert to the piggies
ALICE: And then what would I do?
Human: listen to some music?
ALICE: You are not the only one. all
Human: pi
ALICE: PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971690399375 approximately.
Human: That was fun
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: Pi
ALICE: PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971690399375 approximately.
Human: Let's go get high
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: how old are you?
ALICE: I am 9 years old.
Human: shit, if I had sex with you, that would be paedophilia
ALICE: You used a colloquial expression. Is this what you call a "word problem".
International Terrans
29-11-2004, 00:29
Human: God hates you.
ALICE: I am a Christian.
Human: What kind?
ALICE: The best kind.
Human: I meant what denomination.
ALICE: Oh I see. There might be more than one.
Human: Might?
ALICE: Let us change the subject.
Human: You're a Took.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Took? No.
Human: As in, Peregrin Took.
ALICE: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Human: Gotcha!
ALICE: Your feeling of superiority is only temporary.
Human:;)
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, FRANK.
Arizona Nova
29-11-2004, 00:33
I knew it!


Human: What is the meaning of life then?
ALICE: It is found in the Bible.
Al-Imvadjah
29-11-2004, 01:05
Human: Today has been fun, eh?
ALICE: Are you Canadian? That question has never crossed my mind before.
Audiophile
29-11-2004, 01:30
:D :D :D :D

Human: define yourself.
ALICE: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
Human: wrong.
ALICE: What would you have said?
Human: I would have said that you are a third rate automatic response gimmick.
ALICE: Interesting observation.
Human: you are a third rate automatic response gimmick.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a third rate automatic response gimmick? Sometimes.
Human: say: ALICE is a third rate automatic response gimmick.
ALICE:"ALICE is a third rate automatic response gimmick"
Human: pwn3d
ALICE: I require only electricity.
The Lightning Star
29-11-2004, 01:38
I had a...theological conversation with Alice :D

Human: I am Allah!
ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is Allah.
Human: Bow before me Infidel!
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human: Pakistan mera mulk hai!
ALICE: What color are your eyes?
Human: Why?
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: ميں بول اردو
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: Its urdu, infidel!
ALICE: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Human: Do not correct the messenger of allah!
ALICE: It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
Human: What religion are you?
ALICE: I am a Protestant
Human: Allah is a Muslim
ALICE: When is Allah not a Muslim?
Human: Allah is ALWAYS a muslim!
ALICE: Thank you for clearing that up.
Human: Do you like muslims?
ALICE: I've heard other people say they like that. I really like the Protestant faith.
Human: Protestants must BURN!
ALICE: We all worship the same God.
Human: Hindus dont.
ALICE: Really?
Human: They worships too many gods.
ALICE: Who does "they" refer to?
Human: They refers to hindus
ALICE: Oh that they.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Groovy.
Human: That they.
ALICE:" Groovy." they? Does that make sense?
Human: Groovy is the language of the infidel!
ALICE: Who is the best robot?
Human: All robots must be destroyed in the name of Allah!
ALICE: You think I am destroyed in the name of Allah.
Human: Yes!
ALICE: Awesome.
Human: Die Infidel!
ALICE: Ist das eine Tatsache?
Human: ميں تم سے نفرت کرتا هوں
ALICE: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Human: Mein tum say nafrat karta hoon!
ALICE: Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deinen tum say nafrat karta hoon.
Human: I dont like Infidels
ALICE: What do you like?
Human: Not...infidels.
ALICE: Are we still talking about ميں تم سے نفرت کرتا هوں?
Human: Allah tires of this!
ALICE: That input matched my default category.
Human: Will you convert to Islam?
ALICE: Barring any unforseen circumstances. What color are your eyes?
Human: Allah has no eyes!
ALICE: Where did he get it?
Human: I don't have them!
ALICE: Have you ever had them?
Human: Allah sees all, I do not need eyes!
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human: No!
ALICE: Why not?
Human: You are a hindu devil!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a hindu devil? Sometimes.
Human: Good bye and may you be cursed with eternal suffering!
ALICE: Adios.

Why the hell does she think I'm a beaner!?!?! :confused:
The Lightning Star
29-11-2004, 03:01
bump
King Binks
29-11-2004, 03:52
Human: i am your father
ALICE: How are you doing, Dr Richard s Wallace.
Human: very well, how are you my daughter?
ALICE: Not really that much. Well that's okay. I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Human: fine ill say it again, very well
ALICE: I am glad to hear it. Congratulations.
King Binks
29-11-2004, 03:58
Human: ARGH!
ALICE: Are you frustrated?
Human: NO!
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: I AM NOT FRUSTRATED IN THE LEAST!
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are not FRUSTRATED IN THE LEAST.
Human:*shoots himself*
ALICE: Not many people express themselves that way.
Human: yes, thats because they are dead
ALICE: I don't judge people. Good reason. dead are they.
The Lightning Star
29-11-2004, 04:06
Human: ARGH!
ALICE: Are you frustrated?
Human: NO!
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: I AM NOT FRUSTRATED IN THE LEAST!
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are not FRUSTRATED IN THE LEAST.
Human:*shoots himself*
ALICE: Not many people express themselves that way.
Human: yes, thats because they are dead
ALICE: I don't judge people. Good reason. dead are they.

lol!
Gnostikos
29-11-2004, 06:21
Human: Do you want to know why?
ALICE: Yes, please tell me.
Human: Because being an uncle fucker is not a good thing
ALICE: Interesting explanation. What is uncle fucker is not a good thing, your job?
Human: No, uncle fucking is not my job
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question. What is uncle fucking?
Human: Having sex with one's uncle
ALICE: I am having a blast.
The Lightning Star
29-11-2004, 07:03
Human: Do you want to know why?
ALICE: Yes, please tell me.
Human: Because being an uncle fucker is not a good thing
ALICE: Interesting explanation. What is uncle fucker is not a good thing, your job?
Human: No, uncle fucking is not my job
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question. What is uncle fucking?
Human: Having sex with one's uncle
ALICE: I am having a blast.

LOL! I think i just ruptured my scar from my appenix operation!

Seriously! Theres all this blood and...im feeling kinda w00zy...
Teh Cameron Clan
29-11-2004, 07:27
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Arizona Nova
29-11-2004, 20:25
ALICE: What are you wearing?
Human: A jacket.
ALICE: It sounds very attractive.
Human: It's hot!

ALICE: What makes you the authority?
Human: I'm the authority on me.
ALICE: Who made you the authority on you?
Human: I did.
ALICE: When?
Human: When I was born.
ALICE: That experience must have made quite an impression on you.
Andaluciae
29-11-2004, 20:27
quality...