NationStates Jolt Archive


Fallujah bid for Tidy Town Award falters

Smeagol-Gollum
26-11-2004, 02:14
Fallujah bid for Tidy Town Award falters

An assault by the US and Iraqi armies on Fallujah has dashed town-proud residents’ hopes of winning at the 2004 Iraq Tidy Town Awards. “We didn’t really factor a major offensive by 10,000 American troops into our Keep Fallujah Beautiful campaign”, admitted local councillor Barzan Al-Aziz.

Al-Aziz says he now seriously doubts whether Fallujah will win the title, and whether he will live to see it awarded.

Local Tidy Town campaigners agree Fallujah’s bid may now be in trouble. “There’s not much of the town left, actually,” said one resident. “And what there is – well, it’s not exactly tidy.”

But others don’t accept that the US assault means Fallujans should give up. “Just because you’re in the middle of a warzone doesn’t mean that littering is okay,” said resident and civic-neatness activist Hussein al-Irmani.

The start of Operation Phantom Fury is especially disappointing, locals say, because Fallujans had fancied their chances of Tidy Town glory in 2004. “It doesn’t take much to win a Tidy Town award in Iraq these days,” said Ramzi bin Elawi, organiser of the Fallujah’s 2004 bid. “All you’ve really got to do is get the rubble and body parts off the streets before the inspectors arrive. And we’re pretty good at hiding things from inspectors.”

“Even if we didn’t win the national prize,” said Elawi, “we thought we had a good chance of winning in the new Tidiest Town (Rebel Controlled Territory) category. Now it looks we’ll be disqualified from that too.”
Wankhands
26-11-2004, 03:57
Genius.
BLARGistania
26-11-2004, 04:02
Onion?
Clontopia
26-11-2004, 04:09
“Just because you’re in the middle of a warzone doesn’t mean that littering is okay,” said resident and civic-neatness activist Hussein al-Irmani.


does that mean after you shoot someone you have to clean up the blood?
and pick up the empty shells?
BLARGistania
26-11-2004, 04:12
does that mean after you shoot someone you have to clean up the blood?
and pick up the empty shells?

Yes, and then give it a light dusting of anti-bacterial spray. Oh, maybe some air freshener too.
Bozzy
26-11-2004, 04:17
That would explain all of those car bombings - it wasn't terrorists, it was the Falluja team trying to mess up other towns they were competing against.
Niccolo Medici
26-11-2004, 10:01
Superbly done. You make it yourself? Or is this from somewhere?
Lutton
26-11-2004, 10:09
:D
Kellarly
26-11-2004, 11:00
This deserves a BUMP
Tactical Grace
26-11-2004, 11:51
LMAO! :p
Greater Valia
26-11-2004, 12:00
This stinks of The Onion.
Smeagol-Gollum
26-11-2004, 23:55
Superbly done. You make it yourself? Or is this from somewhere?

Not mine.

Not the Onion.

From Australia's own "The Chaser" (as in ambulance chaser).

Find at

http://www.chaser.com.au/
Friedmanville
26-11-2004, 23:58
lol
Seosavists
27-11-2004, 00:07
lol