NationStates Jolt Archive

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey,"hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a
drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "what's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says "DUDE.......how much
water did you drink?!!"

Haha! That's pretty good, but I bet you must get lots of confused looks when you tell that to people who've never smoked weed. :D

:P dear lord that was good (lites a joint)

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unbeknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens
again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to
the boy, "Grab your glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little
boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again"

Very funny... Have any more weed jokes?

how is a woman like a laxitive?
they both irritate the shit out of you

lol!

and they realize not they are talking to the Queen.

*shakes head*

lol!

and they realize not they are talking to the Queen.

*shakes head*

SOMEBODY SPILLED ENGRISH IN THIS POST!

SOMEBODY SPILLED ENGRISH IN THIS POST!
nice to see you too biatch :D

nice to see you too biatch :D

YAY

what happened to everybody? NS has even got shittier...insanity i tell ya. I heard the SSA died too. i miss FUA. :(

what happened to everybody? NS has even got shittier...insanity i tell ya. I heard the SSA died too. i miss FUA. :(
it seems everythings gone t oshit since i left i tell ya what. whatever happend to fua?!?!

died it did. you know about Fools paradise and Paradise beach?

died it did. you know about Fools paradise and Paradise beach?

get aim so we can talk

aight, hold on. gimme 2 min.

aight, hold on. gimme 2 min.
k

I liked that lover/baseball joke. Made me laugh my azz off.

---

A man wakes up one morning and there's a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his nuts and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, shoot the dog!"

check your nation's TG

I have a joke.

The french army.


LOL

I have a joke.

The french army.


LOL
:) Good one.

The only reason ignorant morons like you smoke weed is because you think its "cool" and you are too concerned with what other ignorant morons think. :gundge:

What are boobs for?

To stare at when she's talking to you