NationStates Jolt Archive

I certainly do. It has even come to a point when some times I instantly become angry when I look at the mirror every morning(ruins my day :mad: ) Pretty much from my junior high school years and up I have to the conclusion that I am a big f*ck up. The fact that my parents ruined their lives getting me away from the former USSR so that I can have a better life in America has only made me even more depressed as their efforts were ultimately all in vain :( . I have mood swings very often(bipolar as you all may know) and have become severely tired and lazy. I try to explain this to my parents but they never listen to me and claim that im just lazy for no reason and just make lousy excuses for it. I have lost almost all my friends as a result of my ever increasing intolerence and anger. I am left with but one true friend and no women to speak off.....I have exceptional skills in the field of politics and government however my now poor grades wont allow me to go to a good college which will help me further my studies and maybe get me a career in politics. I now spend most of my time with myself questioning why god has even put me on this planet in the first place....*sigh owell

just needed to get that out.

I can hate myself at times, but only in short instances which don't occur super-often.

If I bomb a test or something like that I am always left with this feeling of "Imbecile; you can do so much better. Why stoop to this level?!"

I certainly do. It has even come to a point when some times I instantly become angry when I look at the mirror every morning(ruins my day :mad: ) Pretty much from my junior high school years and up I have to the conclusion that I am a big f*ck up. The fact that my parents ruined their lives getting me away from the former USSR so that I can have a better life in America has only made me even more depressed as their efforts were ultimately all in vain :( . I have mood swings very often(bipolar as you all may know) and have become severely tired and lazy. I try to explain this to my parents but they never listen to me and claim that im just lazy for no reason and just make lousy excuses for it. I have lost almost all my friends as a result of my ever increasing intolerence and anger. I am left with but one true friend and no women to speak off.....I have exceptional skills in the field of politics and government however my now poor grades wont allow me to go to a good college which will help me further my studies and maybe get me a career in politics. I now spend most of my time with myself questioning why god has even put me on this planet in the first place....*sigh owell

just needed to get that out.

SO EMO IT HURTS!!!!11!!!1

sometimes... when i do really badly in something or i do something stupid i wish that i could be better... but in general im ok... im more likely to hate myself than other people tho...

sometimes... when i do really badly in something or i do something stupid i wish that i could be better... but in general im ok... im more likely to hate myself than other people tho...

yeah... take my quiz maybe you can find somebody to help you through the pain http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1101346057qmy

im more likely to hate myself than other people tho...

how do you know that? I reckon the people who dont look like they hate themselves are the "worst offenders" as it were.

Yeah, I'll go out on a limb here and say that was pretty emo. It'd make a damned good Green day song.

Anyway, keep your head up. God's got a plan for you. You'll pull through. And, when you look in the mirror, be thankful, you could look like this guy. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38393000/jpg/_38393241_merrick150.jpg)

Yeah, I'll go out on a limb here and say that was pretty emo. It'd make a damned good Green day song.

Anyway, keep your head up. God's got a plan for you. You'll pull through. And, when you look in the mirror, be thankful, you could look like this guy. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38393000/jpg/_38393241_merrick150.jpg)

too right mate, and WTF happened to that guy?

I certainly do. It has even come to a point when some times I instantly become angry when I look at the mirror every morning(ruins my day :mad: ) Pretty much from my junior high school years and up I have to the conclusion that I am a big f*ck up. The fact that my parents ruined their lives getting me away from the former USSR so that I can have a better life in America has only made me even more depressed as their efforts were ultimately all in vain :( . I have mood swings very often(bipolar as you all may know) and have become severely tired and lazy. I try to explain this to my parents but they never listen to me and claim that im just lazy for no reason and just make lousy excuses for it. I have lost almost all my friends as a result of my ever increasing intolerence and anger. I am left with but one true friend and no women to speak off.....I have exceptional skills in the field of politics and government however my now poor grades wont allow me to go to a good college which will help me further my studies and maybe get me a career in politics. I now spend most of my time with myself questioning why god has even put me on this planet in the first place....*sigh owell

just needed to get that out.


Life doesn't end with high school.

Finish up, and take some time off working a job for a few years. Get some life experience doing something that interests you. Then when you are ready study hard and take the SAT. If you do well you'll be surprised at how many good colleges you can get into. (they do like life experience).

Also, if you want to really go on, as long as you get into a decent school, provided you do really well there, you'll be surprised at the type of school you can go to for an advanced degree.

It sounds to me the real problem is that you don't know what you want to do right now. So why rush it. Don't force yourself to do something you don't like or don't want.

I don't think I'd say I hate myself, just the things I do sometimes. Maybe you guys are mistaking the hate of things you do, or have done, for the hate of youselves.

To right wing America, you say you have good political skills and all, so get out there and use them. If you have a little while left at school or uni, try as hard as you can. If not, maybe you need to go back. Don't resent your parents for what they did, they were only trying to help you. You'll probably say I don't know what you're going through, and your right, I don't , but give it a try. You've got nothing to lose.

all you guys need to do is believe in yourself, and believe that you can fix things you've done wrong. If you've had a fight with a friend, or parents, talk to them, and you'll feel much better. In fact, talking to anyone will make you feel better. You guys should try it sometime.

P.S. Green Day rules!! and listen to DeaconDave his advice is good too.

Yeah, my self-esteem's not that high. I put people off by being really arrogant, though, because they don't need my problems and I sure as hell don't need theirs. You're not the only fuck-up out there, rest assured.

Dunno, one of those ultra-mega extremely rare cases. He was called the 'elephant man'.

Anyway, I was exactly like you in middle school. I hated myself so much...I'd thought that (and actually still think from time to time) that my parents ruined my life when they got divorced. I rebelled...ran around with a really rowdy crowd for a while. I started to get darker...I started hating everything. Eventually I lost all my friends because I never wanted to be around anyone. I stayed in my room for weeks on end in the summer. When I looked in the mirror I saw someone who just...wasn't me. I listened to my parents argue over, and over, and over again...it pissed me off. How could two people that were seemingly happy become so bitter?

So, one day I punched the mirror. I'd blamed my parents, not me for the way I was. It took a while, but I eventually turned around. I'm not necesarily the happiest kid ever, but I don't hate myself. Looking back now, I realize that God got me through the whole hating myself thing, but I didn't know it at the time. I know now that if I had looked towards God, I would've been better off.

how do you know that? I reckon the people who dont look like they hate themselves are the "worst offenders" as it were.

no i mean that im mor likely to be hatin myself than hating sum 1 els...

So, one day I punched the mirror. I'd blamed my parents, not me for the way I was. It took a while, but I eventually turned around. I'm not necesarily the happiest kid ever, but I don't hate myself. Looking back now, I realize that God got me through the whole hating myself thing, but I didn't know it at the time. I know now that if I had looked towards God, I would've been better off.
Yep i agree... and its nice 2 kno there are other christians out ther on these forums 2... :)

I don't think you can really hate someone. I reckon we mistake hate for stuff a lot of the time.

I don't think you can really hate someone. I reckon we mistake hate for stuff a lot of the time.

Trust me, you can hate people ;)

Trust me, you can hate people ;)

Yah... i have 2 agree... i only hate one person in the world but it's a mixture of hate n a lil bit of pity bout wat they'll hav 2 live with in hell

SO EMO IT HURTS!!!!11!!!1

ugh what does EMO mean :confused:

ugh what does EMO mean :confused:

Emotional I think.

SO EMO IT HURTS!!!!11!!!1

lyk totlly. mi sn iz also sumthin lyk XxxbrokenbabyangelslutXxxX

Just kidding. I don't think the original poster is like that, although I do know plenty who are. I used to be all "Wow this sucks I hate myself" so then I kind of just decided to stop weighing myself. It really works. I just stopped. I also pretend to have confidence. Like, if you pretend you are better and more confident...it makes you more confident. It's weird. For a day I pretended I was one of those people that were allowed to be confident and it made me feel really good. Try it sometime. You've gotta learn to stop being so critical of yourself.

Then again, the moment I become un-depressed, depression and being bipolar and angsty thing is now "in". Whatever, I guess I'll never be up to style.

I don't hate anyone at the moment, least of all myself. ;)

I hate myself alot simply because I see myself as a failure of a human being and that everything I say is waste of air. I don't hate anyone but myself but thats ok.

I SO hate myself. I'm constantly berating myself. Hardly ever a kind word. Even if DO praise myself, I think "Where's the catch? When's the other shoe gonna drop?"

lyk totlly. mi sn iz also sumthin lyk XxxbrokenbabyangelslutXxxX

Just kidding. I don't think the original poster is like that, although I do know plenty who are. I used to be all "Wow this sucks I hate myself" so then I kind of just decided to stop weighing myself. It really works. I just stopped. I also pretend to have confidence. Like, if you pretend you are better and more confident...it makes you more confident. It's weird. For a day I pretended I was one of those people that were allowed to be confident and it made me feel really good. Try it sometime. You've gotta learn to stop being so critical of yourself.

Then again, the moment I become un-depressed, depression and being bipolar and angsty thing is now "in". Whatever, I guess I'll never be up to style.

Indeed. If you have confidence in yourself, it pretty much sets you up to reach for the top. If you have it in your head that you're not going to accomplish anything, you won't. Simple as that. Also, chicks dig confidence.

I got a kick out of the XxXbrokenbabyangelslutXxX....too true :)

Sometimes I think I'm nothing more than an immature child. But then I tell myself to lighten up and depants myself when I'm not looking. We have a good laugh about it and then go out for ice cream.

:D

Yeah, I'll go out on a limb here and say that was pretty emo. It'd make a damned good Green day song.

Anyway, keep your head up. God's got a plan for you. You'll pull through. And, when you look in the mirror, be thankful, you could look like this guy. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38393000/jpg/_38393241_merrick150.jpg)

Green Day =/= emo.

Anyways, self-loathing is soo much more goth.

www.sykospark.net/goth/

RWA's Christmas present from me. :P

everyone im sorry i some times feel depressed and pissed off at my self but i dont cry about it if your so damn depressed then kill your selfs and stop being such pus$ys.




thanks bye

ugh what does EMO mean :confused:

It's short for emocore, which is short for emotional hardcore. ;)

I always just try to tell myself that i am in control of my life. NO matter what happens it's your life. If you hate yourself your the one who can change it and the one that has to start.

It's short for emocore, which is short for emotional hardcore. ;)

ahh....understood.

I certainly do. It has even come to a point when some times I instantly become angry when I look at the mirror every morning(ruins my day :mad: ) Pretty much from my junior high school years and up I have to the conclusion that I am a big f*ck up. The fact that my parents ruined their lives getting me away from the former USSR so that I can have a better life in America has only made me even more depressed as their efforts were ultimately all in vain :( . I have mood swings very often(bipolar as you all may know) and have become severely tired and lazy. I try to explain this to my parents but they never listen to me and claim that im just lazy for no reason and just make lousy excuses for it. I have lost almost all my friends as a result of my ever increasing intolerence and anger. I am left with but one true friend and no women to speak off.....I have exceptional skills in the field of politics and government however my now poor grades wont allow me to go to a good college which will help me further my studies and maybe get me a career in politics. I now spend most of my time with myself questioning why god has even put me on this planet in the first place....*sigh owell

just needed to get that out.

Don't hate yourself. If you ever need a friend to talk to, I'm just a TG away. :)

I dont really hate myself though if I ever make a mistake I will dwell on it and argue with myself about how stupid I was for doing whatever it is I did. And Right-Wing America have you ever thought about joining the military, im sure the experiance you get there will help you improve yourself so you wont have to hate yourself as much.

Yes, I hate myself.

GOD! Just eat a handful of cyanide and be done with it!

As a buddhist, it is quite difficult to hate myself.

Oh, the ANGST!

You know, talking about your so called hate for yourself in such a public way probably wasn't the best idea. People may see at as a plea for attention and not really notice your real needs. Best thing to do is talk to your friend or something. Try not to be so angry :headbang:, it isn't healthy.

Yep but more importantly do you hate me because my opinion dosent matter :(

Don't hate yourself. If you ever need a friend to talk to, I'm just a TG away. :)
Roach Busters knows
What the hell is EMO?

RWT, I'm a big fuck up, too. You're in good company. All I can tell you, and this is from personal experience, is that hating yourself is only going to make things worse for you in the long run. I hate myself, too, sometimes and get so down that I want to just take my life at points... but I try to look at the bigger picture. As hard as it is for me, I know people care about me and me not being here would impact others. Hating myself does nothing but bring me down and make me feel even worse than life treats me... so, I try to do what I can to not hate myself. Whether that be writing poetry to express how I feel, blogging, or even talking to friends on AIM.

If you ever need to talk, just telegram me. :)

I like myself
me---> :fluffle: <--- me

When you walk through a storm Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky, And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown...
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone... You'll never walk alone.

I spent quite a few years in my late teens/early twenties being quite unhappy with who I was. One day I realised I was having fun and hadn't thought about it for a while - that I was in fact happy. Live life, keep going and sooner or later things will click into place and you'll realise that you're fine and were all along.

I spent quite a few years in my late teens/early twenties being quite unhappy with who I was. One day I realised I was having fun and hadn't thought about it for a while - that I was in fact happy. Live life, keep going and sooner or later things will click into place and you'll realise that you're fine and were all along.

Now you sound like my mother

How bad can you and your life really be? Here you are on a computer. You're reading this, drinking a mountain dew and munching on a hoho.

You're probably smiling now. Don't choke on your hoho.

Now you sound like my mother
Oops, didn't mean to, just meant that I ended up happy without noticing when it changed.

I dont really hate myself though if I ever make a mistake I will dwell on it and argue with myself about how stupid I was for doing whatever it is I did. And Right-Wing America have you ever thought about joining the military, im sure the experiance you get there will help you improve yourself so you wont have to hate yourself as much.

Im thinking about enlisting into the Army or Navy, not sure though I have about a couple of monthes to make up my mind.

Im thinking about enlisting into the Army or Navy, not sure though I have about a couple of monthes to make up my mind.

dude, read my first post.

Seriously, your life is not over.

Was strange to come home and find this thread here. I hate myself right now cos I've really stuffed up. I always get like this when essays are due and it makes it harder for me to work on them. Makes me get all depressy and even hurt myself. I'm sposed to go to counselling but doesn't help much when tis so long tween bouts. Worse -these are the first essays which actually start counting towards my degree. Everyone expects me to do well -I'm scared!

Roach Busters knows
What the hell is EMO?

It's a type of music.

www.fourfa.com

Was strange to come home and find this thread here. I hate myself right now cos I've really stuffed up. I always get like this when essays are due and it makes it harder for me to work on them. Makes me get all depressy and even hurt myself. I'm sposed to go to counselling but doesn't help much when tis so long tween bouts. Worse -these are the first essays which actually start counting towards my degree. Everyone expects me to do well -I'm scared!

ahh high expectations they are a bitch in life as well....I guess you just have to do your best and hope the results of your work are good enough(though you should do the work to go further with your life and not just to appease your parents)

Try sports. Sports helped boost my confidence tremendously. When I was in 8th grade (the height of my depression), I took up wrestling. It helped quite a bit, gave me something to do, and in the end, I turned out to be pretty decent at it...which gave me the confidence booster I needed. Now wrestling is like...incredibly demanding but hey...(BTW, cutting weight sucks ass)

Now you sound like my mother

Well, he's right, which implies that your mother is right.

Perhaps you should listen to your mother more and take what she says to heart.

This self-"hatred" isn't uncommon. I went through a similar period when I was very young. The solution is in building a string of progressively larger accomplishments, beginning with small successes. It also helps to learn more about other people to get a realistic idea about where you fall in the general populace. You will eventually discover that you have no cause for self-hatred or self-disgust.

Most people have what can be called "tapes" we replay in our heads. Depending upon what we have heard the important people in our lives saying about us, the tapes can be either positive or negative. The best way around this is to learn enough about reality to be able to know that the negative ones are largely undeserved. I made sure when I was raising my own children to avoid making negative statements to them ( eg: "You're always ......" ; "You are such a ......." ). Even when you don't intend to, these make a lasting impression and in effect program a child to have negative feelings about him/herself.

Hang in there and let me know if you'd like more information or help with this.

I don't hate myself, just that shifty-looking person I see in the mirror everytime I use the bathroom...

That SOB keeps looking at me!

I don't hate myself, just that shifty-looking person I see in the mirror everytime I use the bathroom...

That SOB keeps looking at me!
LOL! Well, just keep in mind that the mirror lies ... people definitely do NOT see the same thing you see in your mirror. There was an article a few months back about a "reverse mirror" which enabled people to see themselves minus the "mirroring" effect. Many people were rather startled by it because they were finally able to see the same person others see.

When I look in the mirror, I scream!

I could see how that'd be somewhat unsettling, like making mirror image faces using the left or right sides of a given person's head.

This self-"hatred" isn't uncommon. I went through a similar period when I was very young. The solution is in building a string of progressively larger accomplishments, beginning with small successes. It also helps to learn more about other people to get a realistic idea about where you fall in the general populace. You will eventually discover that you have no cause for self-hatred or self-disgust.

Most people have what can be called "tapes" we replay in our heads. Depending upon what we have heard the important people in our lives saying about us, the tapes can be either positive or negative. The best way around this is to learn enough about reality to be able to know that the negative ones are largely undeserved. I made sure when I was raising my own children to avoid making negative statements to them ( eg: "You're always ......" ; "You are such a ......." ). Even when you don't intend to, these make a lasting impression and in effect program a child to have negative feelings about him/herself.

Hang in there and let me know if you'd like more information or help with this.

Perhaps there is a legal drug that I can take that makes me feel better and not tired and lazy?

It's a type of music.

www.fourfa.com
Aahh ive heard of ELO but not EMO
Aahh if i wanna get depressed i just listen to Pink Floyd ;)
Aahh it says the site is copyrighted i thought the Internet was free for all?

Aahh ive heard of ELO but not EMO
Aahh if i wanna get depressed i just listen to Pink Floyd ;)
Aahh it says the site is copyrighted i thought the Internet was free for all?

Don't ever listen to that whiny crap; it'll make you want to kill people.


Anyway, to answer the question - no, I am pretty freakin' sweet.

Just sounds like run of the mill teenage depression to me.