NationStates Jolt Archive

I was vacationing outside my jungle home where I normally hunt down tourists and eat them. While in the US, I ate a strange delicacy called "beef" and found myself rethinking the whole cannibalism thing. Here is an animal that doesn't shoot back, doesn't fight back as hard, is easier to fool, and hasn't been warned I exist.
Once I was back in my homeland jungle, I spread the word about this new food idea around. At first, people were skeptical. After all, we've been hunting down and eating people for thousands of years. But, once I had them try something called a "steak," they came around to my way of thinking.
Now, we're going to replace the whole cannibalism thing, but we're not exactly sure what with. Half of us want to go with a beef system, while the other half want a meat called "pork" in their diet, which they claim tastes similar to humans. Do you have any advice on how to help us on this?

[Yes, a mocking topic. From me. Feel shocked.]

go with the pork. the pigs would do well in your jungle. you'd have to clear your jungle for pastureland if you went with the beef. then you'd lose out on eco-tourism.

I say you import some boars to your jungle (wild pigs), they taste a bit stronger, but they are reeeeally god. Then you could always change a tiny part of jungle in to pasturland and have some cows too... but then again somebody will have to take care of them...

Boars will manage everything by them selvs, but they are tricky to capture...

I have to agree with what people have said so far. Pigs are better in a untamed enviroment. Also, pork is tasty.




Maybe I do not keep up with the forum as much as I should, but what are you mocking? I noticed the mocking tone but was unsure of the exact point.

One can only wonder how many of the world's starving masses could be fed by providing them with a nutritious meal of the notoriously obese Americans.

Baked, boiled, minced, char-grilled, stewed, I'm confident that many tasty recipes could be devised.

I believe that the idea has definite merit, and the wonderful potential of solving two problems with one rather elegant solution.

Well done.

P.S. For those who missed it, the "well done" was a pun.

Why switch at all, why not start a human farm. It will take a few years, but if you capture some kids now, beat them all there lives, while telling them that there place is on your dinner table, and you do not allow them to train to do anything, and constantly remind them that they are food, in about twenty-seven years, you could have your first home grown stock, with replacement stock already growing. Heck you could start selective breeding to make them all be big and fat, so they produce more meat. Drug them, and pump them with steroids and stuff.

Why switch at all, why not start a human farm. It will take a few years, but if you capture some kids now, beat them all there lives, while telling them that there place is on your dinner table, and you do not allow them to train to do anything, and constantly remind them that they are food, in about twenty-seven years, you could have your first home grown stock, with replacement stock already growing. Heck you could start selective breeding to make them all be big and fat, so they produce more meat. Drug them, and pump them with steroids and stuff.

I always thought that human would be at its prime, for eating, at 20ish. That takes to long to grow just for eating. While pork and beef only take a few years.

I always thought that human would be at its prime, for eating, at 20ish. That takes to long to grow just for eating. While pork and beef only take a few years.

You are of coures right, but that is only the start up process, once there are enough of them, you can devide them into classes by age, you know, kinda like lamb, and veal.

I was vacationing outside my jungle home where I normally hunt down tourists and eat them. While in the US, I ate a strange delicacy called "beef" and found myself rethinking the whole cannibalism thing. Here is an animal that doesn't shoot back, doesn't fight back as hard, is easier to fool, and hasn't been warned I exist.
Once I was back in my homeland jungle, I spread the word about this new food idea around. At first, people were skeptical. After all, we've been hunting down and eating people for thousands of years. But, once I had them try something called a "steak," they came around to my way of thinking.
Now, we're going to replace the whole cannibalism thing, but we're not exactly sure what with. Half of us want to go with a beef system, while the other half want a meat called "pork" in their diet, which they claim tastes similar to humans. Do you have any advice on how to help us on this?

[Yes, a mocking topic. From me. Feel shocked.]

Cannibalism's for people on the Atkins diet. Strangely enough, the human digestive system gets very little nutrition from human flesh. Apparently the primitive tribes that ate human beings only supplemented their diet of vegetables with human meat.

So if I have to vote, I'll have to go with beef. Or maybe chicken.

Eat the chickens, and just keep the humans for milk, cheese and butter.

Eat the chickens, and just keep the humans for milk, cheese and butter.

:D Human butter rocks! If Fight Club's correct about the quality of our fat, surely our butter would be the creamiest and most delicious butter ever!




I'm not so sure about the cheese though.

:D Human butter rocks! If Fight Club's correct about the quality of our fat, surely our butter would be the creamiest and most delicious butter ever!




I'm not so sure about the cheese though.

The thought of human cheese actually made me gag. Not sure why I did not share this feeling when thinking about human butter though.

I was vacationing outside my jungle home where I normally hunt down tourists and eat them. While in the US, I ate a strange delicacy called "beef" and found myself rethinking the whole cannibalism thing. Here is an animal that doesn't shoot back, doesn't fight back as hard, is easier to fool, and hasn't been warned I exist.
Once I was back in my homeland jungle, I spread the word about this new food idea around. At first, people were skeptical. After all, we've been hunting down and eating people for thousands of years. But, once I had them try something called a "steak," they came around to my way of thinking.
Now, we're going to replace the whole cannibalism thing, but we're not exactly sure what with. Half of us want to go with a beef system, while the other half want a meat called "pork" in their diet, which they claim tastes similar to humans. Do you have any advice on how to help us on this?

[Yes, a mocking topic. From me. Feel shocked.]

Yes. The world actually lives on the rice/wheat/corn/etc system. You live on the JERKY system.

Yes. The world actually lives on the rice/wheat/corn/etc system. You live on the JERKY system.

And Americans wonder why they're so overweight...