NationStates Jolt Archive

One of my freinds has recently become depressed and he is having trouble coaping, having been depressed myself I tried to help him but the ways I got out of it arn't working for him, any ideas?

Hang on, Imperial Navy had a thread on this, lots of people gave good ideas, I'll find it for you.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=374528

Ta, I'll se if that works.

hmm a lot of good advice there. still figured I'd add my two cents tho cos im an opinionated asshole - plus i've been there...

My advice to your friend is dont despair right now - sure you feel like crap and that life isn't worth living at the moment, but just hang in there and something good is going to happen soon. Either that or he'll learn to control it - I spent a lot of introspecive time thinking about what it was that made me depressed in the first place, and what feelings & things in my life were keeping me that way. Once I figured it out I found, suprisingly, that 1) I was happier instantly and 2) when i felt that way again I was able to control those feelings as I knew what to avoid myself thinking and what things to avoid doing in daily life - those things and thoughts that caused the sadness. This may be a help to your friend, maybe - I hope so anyway.

=> Take life a day at a time, after all, tomorrow is just another day.

ps: FYI i still get spells of depression lasting for a couple of weeks at a time, when i cant seem to control it or when something bad happens in my life. Then I just drink a fair bit, smoke a lot of weed :) and most of all remember (and enforce) that last line above.

hope that's of some help.... it helped me :)



edit: Crap! Forgot to say that its important not to be alone when doing that whole 'introspective' bit... its quite a upsetting experience. I dont mean literally alone - not like you need somebody in the room with you (cos it took me weeks to come to any kind of conclusion and that would be stupid) - but just have other people around... i went to my parents' house during this time for eg.

Medication, depression takes a while to get through, and while your friend is fighting it, he should seek some professional help and get some medication.

My advice is for your friend to pull up his bootstraps and get over it. If you feel down or blue, do something you like: shooting some targets, have sex, play ball, whatever, don't just sit on your duff feeling sorry for yourself.

My advice is for your friend to pull up his bootstraps and get over it. If you feel down or blue, do something you like: shooting some targets, have sex, play ball, whatever, don't just sit on your duff feeling sorry for yourself.

There is a lot more to depression than just getting over it. There could be some serious psychological trauma underneath, and saying just get over it is like saying "just walk it off" to someone with cancer.

As I say thanks.

how many people do you know who have asked the question "What is my purpose in life? Why do I exist? Why are we here? Is my Life worth living if i shall be dead in 70-to 80 years?" ive often pondered those questions.

I'd say visit a Psychiatrist or Psychologist. If your friend would prefer to avoid medications a pscyologist is the way to go. If your friend is fine with medications then a psychiatrist is a MD and alloweed to prescribe.

I'm a fan of talking therapy, what you get with a psychologist.

There are also general purpose councilors out there, and they have a good use as well.

If your friend is attending any school at all, he should be able to utilize the free counseling services. All high school guidance councilors have experience in therapeutic counseling, and any college worth it's salt should have councilor visits for a certain number of free times.

Yeah, I have had some friends that expressed being depressed, but they refused to go see any doctor or counselor or anything. They viewed it as sign of wekness to need anyone else to make them better. They absolutely refused to take medications because everyone they had known that had been on mood/mind altering drugs wound up "really f*d up" (when they told me that, they hadn't known that I had taken medication at one point myself, and I took great offense to their stereotype).
With them I learned to accept the fact that someone can't be helped if they don't want to be. You have to realize yourself what you're feeling and look at the options presented to you and choose what is best for you. And if they refuse to do anything about it, that's their problem.

There is a lot more to depression than just getting over it. There could be some serious psychological trauma underneath, and saying just get over it is like saying "just walk it off" to someone with cancer.

I agree completely. Many people don't realize that depression can sometimes be caused by an actual physical problem (chemical imbalance), which is why medication can help in some instances. Also, one doesn't always know why they're depressed - they just are, and show the physical signs of it. I couldn't sleep, my appetite was weird, and I would start crying at the littlest things - for no apparent reason to me. It took taking some meds for a while and changing some things in my life before I even knew what had been getting to me.

feel free to ignore me; i haven't really read everything through but i'm clinically depressed too, and yeah it's an illness, maybe you should suggest to them they just talk to their doctor, they won't be patronised or anything but they can get some pills that help them to cope. doesn't solve everything but makes the lows less dramatic and frequent for me, anyway. it may be a kind of blue period like some other people have talked about, but if it's deeper rooted than that then they're gonna need some medical help.

When there is a chemical imbalance or some big worded scientific reason for it, then take meds and SEE A THERAPIST! THEY DO CARE!

When its just random depression, you don't (or do) know where it came from, it helps to have a friend who tends to be depressed, I have a friend (for some reason I can only see talking about it to her and only ONE male friend I have, the oposite gender just seems easier to talk to for me, I'm male) and she helps, not knowing it at all though heh.

smoke a lot of weed and most of all remember (and enforce) that last line above. I hope to God you were joking. Drugs are NOT the way to go, plus weed actually CAUSES depression. Stay away from it.

I embrace depression, use it to write for my band (Not emo, death/black/thrash metal :) ), draw stuff, w/e.

But yeah, talking to someone who is experienced with depression helps.