NationStates Jolt Archive


Putin: Russia Building Nuclear Weapon US WON'T Have

Superpower07
18-11-2004, 01:38
MOSCOW (AP) - President Vladimir Putin said Wednesday that Russia is developing a new form of nuclear missile strike, known only as 'Metal Gear', unlike those held by other countries, news agencies reported.

Speaking at a meeting of the Armed Forces' leadership, Putin reportedly said that Russia is researching and successfully testing new Metal Gear prototypes, like Metal Gear Solid, and Metal Gear Rex.

``I am sure that ... they will be put in service within the next few years and, what is more, terrorists will steal the Metal Gears for their own gain, and then we will call upon Solid Snake to either retrieve and/or destroy the Metal Gears'' Putin was quoted as saying by the ITAR-Tass news agency.

Putin reportedly said: ``International terrorism is one of the major threats for Russia. We understand as soon as we ignore such components of our defense as a massive bipedal tank with the abliity to launch nukes, other threats may occur.''

Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov said that this 'Metal Gear' is a massive, walking bipedal tank. It has tremendous firepower, and can launch a nuclear missile undetected until impact, unlike an ICBM.

News reports have also said Russia is believed to be developing a next-generation heavy nuclear missile to be fired by Metal Gear Rex that could carry up to 10 nuclear warheads weighing a total of 4.4 tons, compared with the Topol-M's 1.32-ton combat payload.

Earlier this year, a senior Defense Ministry official was quoted as telling news agencies that Russia had developed a weapon that could make the United States' proposed missile-defense system useless. This was obviously the Metal Gear project they had started on.

Here is an artist's sketch of this so-called Metal Gear (http://arda.jexiste.fr/mgs/1/images/metal_gear_rex.jpg)

Sry to all the people who didn't just understand that satire of mine! :D
Andaluciae
18-11-2004, 01:45
this is satire of the highest quality. Putin better watch out though, Snake might have his bandanna, cigarrettes and Nikita rockets goin'.
Superpower07
18-11-2004, 01:55
this is satire of the highest quality.
Thanks
Boyfriendia
18-11-2004, 02:01
Anyone ever played Red Faction 2. The game has "battle armor" that looks just like that. Dirty Russians, little do they know that the Americans are secretly creating thousands of robotic pitbulls, which have been under development since the original publishing of Farenhetit 451 inside an underground laboratory in Guantanamo Bay (which is the real reason they won't give it up :D ) Take THAT Putin!!!
Superpower07
18-11-2004, 02:09
NEWS FLASH - US Develops it's own Nuclear Weapons System

The United States defense department has claimed to develop its own next-generation nuclear weapons system, known as RX-78GP-02 "Physallis". Here (http://www.compcamps.com/camps2003/jstengler/GP-02.jpg) is a picture of this newly defined weapons system.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said, "Ok, we won't let this fall into the hands of rebels, like the Metal Gear"

Unfortuntately, Googlefight technicians put GP-02's performance below that of Metal Gears, citing these odds (http://www.googlefight.com/cgi-bin/compare.pl?q1=GP-02&q2=Metal+Gear&B1=Make+a+fight%21&compare=1&langue=us) of 33 300 victories vs 18 700 000 Metal Gear's in simulations
Tuesday Heights
18-11-2004, 02:31
Roflol! :d