NationStates Jolt Archive

Isn't if funny that the way christian fundamentalists describe God and heaven sounds like the way anyone else would describe hell and the devil?

It's not even as if they're talking about the same God as I think of. The one they talk about hates jews and gays and unbaptised babies and anyone else they can think up for him to hate. Heaven is filled with self-righteous souls like them, just like one big, snotty methodist service. Like a punishment.

Me? I'd rather be in hell with all the sinners I know, my man, my family, my friends. And if Jesus is true to form, he'll be down there hanging out with us, the sinners. If the fundies are true to form, there's no danger of them slumming it with the rest of us.

Amen. ;)

Yup, that's knee-slappin' hilarious alright.



And if you disagree, you're going to HELL!

I maintain that hell is just a place without God.

So when people tell me I'm going to hell, I can snidely reply 'I'm already there', and then become amused at their lack of indignation.

But I agree. I'd much rather go to hell than to heaven. Heaven sounds dead boring. And I wouldn't enjoy the company at all, atheist sinner than I am.

That sounds like the same God that lives in a Heaven with room for only 144,000 people.

And while I'm good and pissed off at people's self-righteousness, I'll mention something else.

The Protestants were protesting the idea that the Catholic priesthood was the only party authorized to interpret the word of God, in Latin. It seems to me that what the protestants really wanted was part of that action. To make it available to everyone.

Some of them even think they're the final authority on interpreting the word of God, as if he comes to them and asks advice on celestial policy. They're part of the management, man. I wish they'd stop feeling like they have to pass it on, what God says to them when they're in their little pow-wows.

And while I'm good and pissed off at people's self-righteousness, I'll mention something else.

The Protestants were protesting the idea that the Catholic priesthood was the only party authorized to interpret the word of God, in Latin. It seems to me that what the protestants really wanted was part of that action. To make it available to everyone.

Some of them even think they're the final authority on interpreting the word of God, as if he comes to them and asks advice on celestial policy. They're part of the management, man. I wish they'd stop feeling like they have to pass it on, what God says to them when they're in their little pow-wows.

I think the real reason Protestants were protesting was because the Catholic heirarchy was massively corrupt.

So how exactly did anything change with them?

So how exactly did anything change with them?

It didn't. But it was why they were protesting.

And while I'm good and pissed off at people's self-righteousness, I'll mention something else.

The Protestants were protesting the idea that the Catholic priesthood was the only party authorized to interpret the word of God, in Latin. It seems to me that what the protestants really wanted was part of that action. To make it available to everyone.

Some of them even think they're the final authority on interpreting the word of God, as if he comes to them and asks advice on celestial policy. They're part of the management, man. I wish they'd stop feeling like they have to pass it on, what God says to them when they're in their little pow-wows.

Jesus has told me that you are completely right on this issue. God isn't telling me anything (She had some wine and fell asleep on the sofa)

Ok, I dig. It's kind of like the American colonies having a revolution against tyranny and "the Man", and now they've turned into the same thing.

Jesus has told me that you are completely right on this issue. God isn't telling me anything (She had some wine and fell asleep on the sofa)

Tell Jesus he still owes me five bucks.

Ok, I dig. It's kind of like the American colonies having a revolution against tyranny and "the Man", and now they've turned into the same thing.

I imagine at the heart of it, your right, that the Protestants just saw the potential and wanted in, but it's nice to think they were doing it for a noble cause.

I imagine at the heart of it, your right, that the Protestants just saw the potential and wanted in, but it's nice to think they were doing it for a noble cause.

Hey, ditto on the colonies. It's a nice idea, to imagine that they were being noble and right, but really, they just pulled a lot of people over to their side by selling them that idea. They just wanted a piece of the pie.

One of my favorite Twilight Zone's is called "A Nice Place to Visit. In it a gangster dies and meets with a guy who says he is supposed to give the gangster whatever he wants. The gangster thinks this is great, assumes he died and went to heaven. He soon gets bored with winning all the time and getting whatever girl he wants so he begs the man to send him to other place, to which the man responds "This is the other place." (Cue ominous music)

Fits my definition of heaven and hell pretty well.

I'm with you on that one. :)

One of my favorite Twilight Zone's is called "A Nice Place to Visit. In it a gangster dies and meets with a guy who says he is supposed to give the gangster whatever he wants. The gangster thinks this is great, assumes he died and went to heaven. He soon gets bored with winning all the time and getting whatever girl he wants so he begs the man to send him to other place, to which the man responds "This is the other place." (Cue ominous music)

Fits my definition of heaven and hell pretty well.

That doesn't sound so bad.

But my idea of heaven is pretty much just reincarnation into a chosen animal, so it's not like I have high standards or anything.

http://www.blessedquietness.com/journal/homemake/biblest5.htm

How about crap like they give us in the link? I mean, is that wild or what? One group writes a book saying that these are the rules, and everybody else accepts their story that it's the word of God as handed down to them, authorizing them to subjugate half of the world in arbitrary fashion. I mean, doesn't it sound like a big S&M party with a religious excuse? A lot of christian history sounds like that, as a matter of fact. Like the flagellants, for instance. Urgh.

http://www.blessedquietness.com/journal/homemake/biblest5.htm

How about crap like they give us in the link? I mean, is that wild or what? One group writes a book saying that these are the rules, and everybody else accepts their story that it's the word of God as handed down to them, authorizing them to subjugate half of the world in arbitrary fashion. I mean, doesn't it sound like a big S&M party with a religious excuse? A lot of christian history sounds like that, as a matter of fact. Like the flagellants, for instance. Urgh.

The woman in that article shouldn't be allowed to write it, according to her own logic. In it, she quotes the Bible, saying that women should not teach, but be silent. With this article, she's trying to teach us how the world should be, rather than remaining silent as she should.

Practice what you preach, Hello. Not that it matters, I'd wager dollars to donuts this article was written by a guy posing as a woman.

Sometimes women get brainwashed by these cults. That's how I think of them, too, because it's what they are. Freaky, sado-masochistic cults.

Sometimes women get brainwashed by these cults. That's how I think of them, too, because it's what they are. Freaky, sado-masochistic cults.
Thats how cristianity started :) I dont doubt that in its more severe casses it still is :)

a quote from
http://www.blessedquietness.com/jou...ke/biblest5.htm

"Long hair is the Scriptural badge of virtuous womanhood. Short hair is the badge of a harlot. A few years ago everyone knew a harlot by this badge. " [I]

What about people who have medium-length hair? You know the type that is still long-ish, but still considered short

This Sarah Moore needs to be stabbed right in the face, and then forced to wear a short skirt and cut her hair.

No way I'd be making a point of having this bollocks for women's bible study in my church.

[Editor's note: As a disgusting counterpoint to this, young men and boys dress in long shorts and pants that are so many sizes too big for them they look as if they are wearing skirts and dresses and can be mistaken for women from a distance, especially in poor light.]


I love this one :) (was a counterpoint to women dressing like men)
I would love for him to walk down and tell a few people in my neighborhood in summer they look like women cause of bagy shorts ;)

LMAO how fucking ridiculous. And in poor light! AHAHAHAHA

Wearing so little clothing, women today outrage all decency. Even grandmothers,

...well yeah, seeing a 60 y.o. grandma trying to rekindle her youth with a mini-skirt and a boob-tube was pretty disgusting to look at

Lol this is from a different section on evolution
TO YOU TEACHERS OF EVOLUTION-- A QUESTION
Are you mentally handicapped in any other area?

http://www.blessedquietness.com/journal/homemake/dating.htm

apparantly...........................................dating is a sin, leads to divorce! So what if you're not married!

(2) Those who have 'shacked up' are naturally far more likely to commit adultery in marriage than those who haven't.
.........naturally.

this website is just hours of fun

TO YOU TEACHERS OF EVOLUTION-- A QUESTION
Are you mentally handicapped in any other area?

What the bloody hell?! LOL

What is ironic is that these PhDs don't believe in God, creation, or the Word of God, but they believe that they can do all these tricks and fly rocks around the universe.


Lol hours of fun

Sheilanagig

Thank you this will be hours of fun!

http://www.blessedquietness.com/journal/homemake/balaam19.htm

Used by special permission from the Author, Jesus Christ
Didn't he trademark it though?

http://www.blessedquietness.com/journal/resource/pokemon.htm
OMFG!!!

http://www.blessedquietness.com/journal/homemake/cslewis.htm
Yes, evil author trying to write fiction!

In short, ROFLMAO!!!

I'm tempted to write them an email. But I'm not sure whether I should thank them for such a hilarious website or break out in rage since I'm a Christian, just how embarassing it is that they are Christians, and it's people like them that make us look shit to everyone else.

I'm a christian too, after a fashion. I think the criteria are so hard to nail down. My God loves everybody, even the sinners. He knows me no matter how long my hair is and no matter what I wear.

That sounds like the same God that lives in a Heaven with room for only 144,000 people.

That sounds like the same old ignorantly inaccurate description of Witness beliefs.

I find your definitions of heaven and hell quite amusing. I agree completely with them, I just haven't heard anyone with the courage to say it. My boyfriend and I are constantly saying that we would rather go to hell with those we know and love, then go to heaven with the people who can't have fun. While I don't believe there is a God, if there was one, she would be a woman. Thanks for actually saying that.

Blargh! Anybody who would rather be in the BIBLICAL Hell (Gehenna, actually) is just nuts!

"I wanna be where all my friends are, burning in horrible pain forever!" :D

Blargh! Anybody who would rather be in the BIBLICAL Hell (Gehenna, actually) is just nuts!

"I wanna be where all my friends are, burning in horrible pain forever!" :D

Beats being in heaven with the fundies. Even burning in horrible pain forever would be preferable to that.

It reminds me of a joke.

A man died and went to heaven, and he's met at the gate by St. Peter.

St. Peter starts to show the man around. They stop first by a bunch of people singing and waving their hands in the air. St. Peter explains that these are the Baptists.

They walk a little longer, and come to a bunch of people singing in an off-tune monotone. St. Peter tells the man that these are the Lutherans.

The walk a little further, and they come to a wall. The man begins to ask who lives here, but St. Peter shushes him. "But...", "SHHHHH!"

They are finally past the walls, and St. Peter can at last tell the man who they were. "Those are the Seventh Day Adventists, and they think they're the only ones here."