Keruvalia
15-11-2004, 18:55
With the proliferation of "if you had a child" threads lately, I thought I'd answer them all in one swoop with this letter which I wrote to my children on my 30th birthday, which they will see in the event that I die before they turn 18.
07-01-2002
My dearest children,
I am writing this letter to you just in case I won't be around when you're older and am unable to give you the benefit of what little wisdom I may have. If you are reading this, then I am gone. Hopefully I am gone through some form of accident or unforeseen event that I had no control over rather than an improper decision on my part. It is important that you know, however, that I wanted nothing more in this world than to see you grow into adulthood, become the people you were going to become, and be there with you through all of the happiness and comfort you through all of the sadness. Until there were you, there was only your mother, and you completed us in a way I cannot explain but only hope that you have the opportunity to experience such elation.
At the time of this letter, you are all under ten years old. The whole world is ahead of you and the best and worst of life are yet to come. I watch you laughing at play, building your imaginary worlds out of blocks, feeding your dolls and stuffed animals on the delicacies that only the imagination of the innocent can truly appreciate and it fills me with great joy and hope that you won’t ever lose these aspects of yourselves to become jaded and hateful by the ills of the world. A sense of humor is the most important thing you can maintain. No matter how educated you may become, no matter how intelligent, no matter how insightful, and sensitive, honorable, and devoted you could ever be, it will all come to naught unless you can laugh at yourselves and the world around you.
Today I am 30 years old. I have come through a great many things in my brief lifetime. I have been to war and seen the destruction that bullets and bombs bring upon the human body as well as the human spirit. I have been afraid that I would never see the people I loved ever again. I have seen people mutilated and killed for nothing other than whom they choose to love or for the color of their skin. I have seen friends and family die through either the hands of others or through the ravages of disease. I have lived under tyranny and been held under the shadow that what I believe may cause me to be harassed or unjustly imprisoned. However, I have also seen great acts of heroism and kindness. I have witnessed people boldly taking a stand and saying, “No more.” I have felt deep love, joy, and moments of happiness so overwhelming I thought I would surely explode. I have tilted the cup with the famous and bedded down with the homeless. Fear and sadness, joy and love, apprehension and courage are nothing to shy away from. You will learn from every single one of your life experiences as I have learned from mine. I am not a great man nor am I a wise man, but I have my experiences and the lessons I took from them.
To my daughters, I wish upon you love and happiness. I wish upon you someone who can love you as deeply and powerfully as I have loved your mother. Never subjugate yourself to anyone, never think that you are under any sort of obligation to perform a certain way or be anything other than your perfect, wonderful selves. You will be growing up in a world where you are the beneficiary of all of those women who came before you who fought for your right to vote, your right to be a single mother if you choose, your right to your body, your right to equal treatment, and your right to be the person that you want to be. While it is not perfected yet, never forget those women who came before you that suffered for you and future generations. We like to tell our children that they live in a place where they can grow up to be anything they want, even President of the United States, but, sadly, I have no such examples I can show at this point. All of our Presidents have been white, Christian, males thus far. Perhaps one of you will be the first Pagan female President and never let anyone convince you that you could not be. When you marry, if you marry, marry for love and love only. Money is not the answer to anything and material possessions rot and fall away. Carry yourself proudly, love yourself, and see the beauty in you that I always will.
To my son, I wish upon you wisdom and charity. I wish upon you the kindness to recognize the inherent good in all people. I also wish upon you someone who can love you as deeply and be as devoted to you as your mother has been to me. You will become a man and, thus, will be imperfect, but never let anyone tell you that you are less than they are because of your gender. There will be times when things will come up that you may not understand, but it is often best to just step back and observe rather than question and interfere. No woman will ever be your property nor will any woman ever be obligated to you in any way, even if she is wearing your wedding ring. Women are the heart and soul of the world and what a state we would be in if we did not listen to our hearts. It is written in the Jewish Talmud that God counts the tears of women. Never forget that. Become a strong Pagan man, proud of who you are and where you came from. Live a life of great love, take care of your responsibilities, and enjoy every moment of every day.
I do not know, nor can I predict, what the future holds for any of you. I do know that I would be proud to call you my children, no matter where your life has taken you. If you have made mistakes, then you are doubly blessed by the opportunity to learn and to share that experience with others. You are all beautiful to me and I love you all very much.
I have no pearls of wisdom to pass along, but I will share some things that I have learned with you before closing this letter:
1. A warm embrace, a kiss, a glancing moment in the eyes of a stranger across a room are the places you will find true happiness.
2. It is always better to listen than it is to speak.
3. Love nature.
4. Hatred is an unspeakably ugly thing.
5. Ignorance is not bliss.
6. The Doors are the best band ever.
7. Love is all you need.
Always,
Daddy
07-01-2002
My dearest children,
I am writing this letter to you just in case I won't be around when you're older and am unable to give you the benefit of what little wisdom I may have. If you are reading this, then I am gone. Hopefully I am gone through some form of accident or unforeseen event that I had no control over rather than an improper decision on my part. It is important that you know, however, that I wanted nothing more in this world than to see you grow into adulthood, become the people you were going to become, and be there with you through all of the happiness and comfort you through all of the sadness. Until there were you, there was only your mother, and you completed us in a way I cannot explain but only hope that you have the opportunity to experience such elation.
At the time of this letter, you are all under ten years old. The whole world is ahead of you and the best and worst of life are yet to come. I watch you laughing at play, building your imaginary worlds out of blocks, feeding your dolls and stuffed animals on the delicacies that only the imagination of the innocent can truly appreciate and it fills me with great joy and hope that you won’t ever lose these aspects of yourselves to become jaded and hateful by the ills of the world. A sense of humor is the most important thing you can maintain. No matter how educated you may become, no matter how intelligent, no matter how insightful, and sensitive, honorable, and devoted you could ever be, it will all come to naught unless you can laugh at yourselves and the world around you.
Today I am 30 years old. I have come through a great many things in my brief lifetime. I have been to war and seen the destruction that bullets and bombs bring upon the human body as well as the human spirit. I have been afraid that I would never see the people I loved ever again. I have seen people mutilated and killed for nothing other than whom they choose to love or for the color of their skin. I have seen friends and family die through either the hands of others or through the ravages of disease. I have lived under tyranny and been held under the shadow that what I believe may cause me to be harassed or unjustly imprisoned. However, I have also seen great acts of heroism and kindness. I have witnessed people boldly taking a stand and saying, “No more.” I have felt deep love, joy, and moments of happiness so overwhelming I thought I would surely explode. I have tilted the cup with the famous and bedded down with the homeless. Fear and sadness, joy and love, apprehension and courage are nothing to shy away from. You will learn from every single one of your life experiences as I have learned from mine. I am not a great man nor am I a wise man, but I have my experiences and the lessons I took from them.
To my daughters, I wish upon you love and happiness. I wish upon you someone who can love you as deeply and powerfully as I have loved your mother. Never subjugate yourself to anyone, never think that you are under any sort of obligation to perform a certain way or be anything other than your perfect, wonderful selves. You will be growing up in a world where you are the beneficiary of all of those women who came before you who fought for your right to vote, your right to be a single mother if you choose, your right to your body, your right to equal treatment, and your right to be the person that you want to be. While it is not perfected yet, never forget those women who came before you that suffered for you and future generations. We like to tell our children that they live in a place where they can grow up to be anything they want, even President of the United States, but, sadly, I have no such examples I can show at this point. All of our Presidents have been white, Christian, males thus far. Perhaps one of you will be the first Pagan female President and never let anyone convince you that you could not be. When you marry, if you marry, marry for love and love only. Money is not the answer to anything and material possessions rot and fall away. Carry yourself proudly, love yourself, and see the beauty in you that I always will.
To my son, I wish upon you wisdom and charity. I wish upon you the kindness to recognize the inherent good in all people. I also wish upon you someone who can love you as deeply and be as devoted to you as your mother has been to me. You will become a man and, thus, will be imperfect, but never let anyone tell you that you are less than they are because of your gender. There will be times when things will come up that you may not understand, but it is often best to just step back and observe rather than question and interfere. No woman will ever be your property nor will any woman ever be obligated to you in any way, even if she is wearing your wedding ring. Women are the heart and soul of the world and what a state we would be in if we did not listen to our hearts. It is written in the Jewish Talmud that God counts the tears of women. Never forget that. Become a strong Pagan man, proud of who you are and where you came from. Live a life of great love, take care of your responsibilities, and enjoy every moment of every day.
I do not know, nor can I predict, what the future holds for any of you. I do know that I would be proud to call you my children, no matter where your life has taken you. If you have made mistakes, then you are doubly blessed by the opportunity to learn and to share that experience with others. You are all beautiful to me and I love you all very much.
I have no pearls of wisdom to pass along, but I will share some things that I have learned with you before closing this letter:
1. A warm embrace, a kiss, a glancing moment in the eyes of a stranger across a room are the places you will find true happiness.
2. It is always better to listen than it is to speak.
3. Love nature.
4. Hatred is an unspeakably ugly thing.
5. Ignorance is not bliss.
6. The Doors are the best band ever.
7. Love is all you need.
Always,
Daddy