NationStates Jolt Archive

If the Death Star floats by and destroys Earth, where am I going to keep my vinyl collection?

In your towel. The towel is very important in the post-earth destruction period.

"Why can't there be more suffering?"-George Carlin

will someone else wear my underwear after i die?

will someone else wear my underwear after i die?
Yes, but not the way you'd expect....

If the Death Star floats by and destroys Earth, where am I going to keep my vinyl collection?

No, I've actually thought about that.

What would happen to my priceless wrath of kahn soundtrack.

When will all the griping about the 2004 elections end?

Is that a bloodthirsty rabid porcupine in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?

When will all the griping about the 2004 elections end?

When will it be 2003 again?

If I stay up much later, how tired will I be tomorrow?

No, I've actually thought about that.

What would happen to my priceless wrath of kahn soundtrack.
The presence of the Death Star would negate the Wrath of Khan soundtrack in the same way the sudden occourance of Ragnorak would negate a Jesus on your dashboard...

does "priceless" always mean valued beyond any price, or does its sometimes mean having no clearly defined value, or sometimes just not yet having been fully commodified?

When will all the griping about the 2004 elections end?
2012

But they'll come up again in 2020.

If your kneecaps were on the other side, what would a chair look like?

I'm about to get crushed flat by a falling battleship. How'd it get up there?

If your kneecaps were on the other side, what would a chair look like?
That is a questions no one would ask.

If we're here, where are we?

Woo hoo! 6,000 posts!

does "priceless" always mean valued beyond any price, or does its sometimes mean having no clearly defined value, or sometimes just not yet having been fully commodified?

In the case of my wrath of kahn soundtrack, the latter is clearly indicated.

WHy don't my socks have individual toe-pockets?

Is there a regulatory body that determines the differences between 'bite size' and 'fun size' snacks? Does any one else think these distinctions are inverted?

Why do hippies always smell so good on a hot summer day?

Woo hoo! 6,000 posts!
How is that a question?

Will archaeologists of the future find burial sites containing bones and breast implants?

How is that a question?

Because you're a jerk.

Why do people say "I'm going to take a piss" when they are going to leave it?

Is there a regulatory body that determines the differences between 'bite size' and 'fun size' snacks? Does any one else think these distinctions are inverted?
Fun size is WAY to small. It's no fun when it's gone in a second.

Is there a regulatory body that determines the differences between 'bite size' and 'fun size' snacks? Does any one else think these distinctions are inverted?

And what family are "family-sized" items based upon?

Because you're a jerk.
Not nice. Why did you say that?

Why do people say "I'm going to take a piss" when they are going to leave it?

I want to know where they're getting a piss from.

Is there a regulatory body that determines the differences between 'bite size' and 'fun size' snacks? Does any one else think these distinctions are inverted?
LOL.

Is there a standard as to what home is meant by 'just like homemade'? Didn't Jeffery Dahmer do a lot of home cooking?

Not nice. Why did you say that?

Because I'm a jerk.

Because I'm a jerk.
Um, ok, sure.
What time is it?

If a tree falls in a forest and a man hears it, but there's no woman around to remind him to listen, is there a sound?

Why doesn't Metamucil use the Eagles song, Take It Easy, as an ad jingle?

I was runnin' down the road tryin' to loosen my load...

If a tree falls in a forest and a man hears it, but there's no woman around to remind him to listen, is there a sound?

Depends. Did the tree fall on the woman, and did the man cause it all to happen?

Depends. Did the tree fall on the woman, and did the man cause it all to happen?
What's that got to do with anything?

LOL.

Is there a standard as to what home is meant by 'just like homemade'? Didn't Jeffery Dahmer do a lot of home cooking?
i think "just like homemade" is just code for unsanitary and full of saturated fat, but that could just be a reflection of my own upbringing.

What's that got to do with anything?

Well, if he chopped the tree so it would fall on her, then I imagine there would be a screaming sound and a laughing sound.

Why doesn't Metamucil use the Eagles song, Take It Easy, as an ad jingle?

I was runnin' down the road tryin' to loosen my load...

LOLOLOLOL

I think we have a winner!

Well, if he chopped the tree so it would fall on her, then I imagine there would be a screaming sound and a laughing sound.
Hm, maybe. Actually, wouldn't there be 2 screaming sounds?
But there was no woman around in the first place...

If a housefly isn't in a house, is it still a housefly?

What exactly is a titmouse?

If a tree falls in the forest and hits a mime, does anyone care?

Whats up with cat hair?

Where'd my pubic hair go?
If it went somewhere, would it go to Texas?

If we all agree Bush has a man-date, does that mean he is now in favor of gay marriage?

and in reference to that Eagles song "take is easy", doesn't that song sound like the guys masturbating while he's driving his truck?

"Running down the road trying to "loosen my load" I got seven women on my mind."

SEVEN!

In the old Starkist Tuna ads, why was Charlie trying so hard to get put into a can of tuna?

when did Ted Kennedy become Jabba the Hutt?

If you got powdered water, what would you add to it?

If you melt dry ice can you swim without getting wet?

Why can't you pay cash for sex, but you can pay for dinner for sex? Wouldn't it be more productive to cut out the middle-man?

If there's always a middle-man, what side are you on?

What's up with airline food?

Will they bring back "That 80s Show"???

Will they bring back "That 80s Show"???


never ever ever. Inside, I am ashamed of being born in th 80's.

If a housefly isn't in a house, is it still a housefly?

What exactly is a titmouse?

A titmouse, which is always tufted, is a species of bird. A better question: why is a bird called a titmouse?

How does a chest have nuts?

A titmouse, which is always tufted, is a species of bird. A better question: why is a bird called a titmouse?

I googled it. Found some rather stunningly odd photos depicting odd ways to decorate a breast.

Also found this pic:
http://home.columbus.rr.com/gfoley/titmouse.jpg

Cute thing. So why IS it called a titmouse?

If we could masturbate with our minds, would we really need our hands?

Does anyone actually eat Spam anymore?

Has anyone else learned to despise their Alarm Clock?

whats up with Lip Fungus?

Does anyone actually eat Spam anymore?

Hawaiians eat 7 million cans of Spam a year, an average of 6 cans per person. McDonald's in Hawaii serves Spam for breakfast. Spam "musubi" -- a slice of Spam atop a slab of rice and wrapped in seaweed -- is an island favorite sold at nearly every convenience store, including 7-Eleven. Spam fried rice is a local classic.

Is there a Lady of the Rings?

Hawaiians eat 7 million cans of Spam a year, an average of 6 cans per person. McDonald's in Hawaii serves Spam for breakfast. Spam "musubi" -- a slice of Spam atop a slab of rice and wrapped in seaweed -- is an island favorite sold at nearly every convenience store, including 7-Eleven. Spam fried rice is a local classic.

:eek: THis is exactly the sort of thing that can happen when there aren't enough pigs!

If Goofy and Pluto are both dogs, then why doesn't Pluto also talk and wear clothes?

LOL.

Is there a standard as to what home is meant by 'just like homemade'? Didn't Jeffery Dahmer do a lot of home cooking?
For that matter, why is homestyle and restuarant style both selling points?

(maybe to differentiate between people with moms that can cook or people like me who where raised by a norwegian mom....it's like eating packing material.....)

Why does Myrth have a funny nose?

If you choke a smurf, What collor does it turn?
:confused:

Hawaiians eat 7 million cans of Spam a year, an average of 6 cans per person. McDonald's in Hawaii serves Spam for breakfast. Spam "musubi" -- a slice of Spam atop a slab of rice and wrapped in seaweed -- is an island favorite sold at nearly every convenience store, including 7-Eleven. Spam fried rice is a local classic.Don't forget the Bentos (box lunches) and the ever popular Zip Pac

If you choke a smurf, What collor does it turn?
:confused:They turn blue... don't you watch Cartoon network!!! they're actually green... check your tv's color adjustments

Ok, there are about eight major religions in the world (Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Confuciusism and Shinto). There are so many belief systems that have orientated from it and many agnostics who refuse to belong to a church and believe what they want to. So here is my question. How come I can't get a root?

Why is a zero score in Tennis called Love.

Why is a zero score in Tennis called Love.
It's all to do with ducks, their eggs, and the inability of the British to learn a foreign language.

It's all to do with ducks, their eggs, and the inability of the British to learn a foreign language.
Very good, although it is actually Goose eggs.
French was a mandatory subject in British Schools when I went.

How do Smurfs reproduce?

How do Smurfs reproduce?

They Smuck!

Very good, although it is actually Goose eggs.
French was a mandatory subject in British Schools when I went.
Mandatory, schmandatory; just because they teach us doesn't mean to say we have to learn. :p I had to take three foreign languages at school, and I am practically incapable of speaking any of them.

Good call on the goose, BTW. I was getting confused with cricket. (Easy mistake to make - bats, ball, nets, people dressed in white, played in summer - never could tell the difference.)

A joke I heard once:

"If a man says something, and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

And other questions:

How can you accidentally swallow more toothpaste than used during brushing?

Why don't they make the serving sizes of food what people will actually eat at one time?

Are animal rights people only anti-fur and not anti-leather because they're too scared to take on the Hell's Angels?

When will all the griping about the 2004 elections end?
:sniper: dont be silly, after 4 more years of war

If your kneecaps were on the other side, what would a chair look like?
:gundge: terrible ?, the answer is too simple...think m.c escher. you gotta tell me where the seat pad goes though!?!?!

Is there a Lady of the Rings?
Giggles....

Who started this thread? (which is so obvious no one would ask) (well, I hope no one would ask)

How do Smurfs reproduce?

Well, The smurf and te smurfette will smurf, after which the smurf will merge with the smurf. After a few months, the smurfette will go into smurf, several hours of smurf later she'll smurf out the litle smurf. :D

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
If flies didn't have wings, would they be called walks?
Do you find it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
And finally...
What are you wearing?(wink, wink)

What does the 'K' in 'Kellogs Special K' stand for?

What does the 'K' in 'Kellogs Special K' stand for?
Ketamine

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a person?

Upon a college course evaluation sheet there is a set of essay question, and they ask you to describe and rate the course on each of these. A question should be

"Did the instructor attempt to eat your soul, and if so, was he/she successful If they were successful, rate the soul eating capability."

Is there a regulatory body that determines the differences between 'bite size' and 'fun size' snacks? Does any one else think these distinctions are inverted?


all i know is id be having alot more fun if they were bigger.

If someone who plays trumpet is a trumpeter, wouldn't someone who plays trombone be a tromboner as opposed to a trombonist?

bite size should be how they are, fun size is like 5 pound hershey bars

and why is the serving size on food so friggin small

Would you like a piece of toast? No? Ah, so you're a waffle man then?
Ok, enough of Red Dwarf.
If NationStates had never been written, would we still be here coming up with these questions?