NationStates Jolt Archive

This is a thread designed for all those times when you get the urge to say something like: "Yes, my father was a banker and my mother won the derby" or "He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" Quote the films and the unbelievable TV series til your little heart's content!

But beware, lay off my juniper bushes and don't call me Big Nose!

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!

And I'll have the spam spam spam spam sausage and spam.

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!

And I'll have the spam spam spam spam sausage and spam.

Why do they only serve spam?!

ALBERTROSSS!

I know them all. I have the Scripts, the movies... BUWAHAHAHAHAHAH! :D

A duck!

ALBERTROSSS!

I know them all. I have the Scripts, the movies... BUWAHAHAHAHAHAH! :D

You're not as big a fan as me! :mad:

Why do they only serve spam?!
Cos the baked beans are off!

Have a good one guys. I'm off home for the week-end!

Nobody expecs the Spanish Inquisition!

You're not as big a fan as me! :mad: OH ho a challange... well sonny "We used to get up in the morning half an hour before we went to bed, Eat a lump of dried poision, go to work at the mill for 32 hours a day and not get paid cuz We was too young to be working at the mill, then we'd get home and our father would kill us and dance on our graves singing "Halleluja"'

"We are the Judean Peoples front Crack suicide squad!"

*Proceed to stab themselves*

"Well, we sure showed them!"

*Dies*

We build a bridge out of her

And of course, my favorite:
(I'm no Nazi, mind you... I think this is just the funniest quote in all of the MP movies)

"...At least I don't work for Jews"

Honey, there's a pengy on the telly.

It's only a fucking rabbit. Come on, lets have some rabbit stew..

*walks into pit where rabbit sits.*

*Head bitten off by rabbit*

Charge!!

*Fighting ensues, during which rabbit maims and kills many.*

Run Away!!

Quick, father, we need the holy hand grenade!

NOTE: This IS wrong; no denying it. However, you are free to point out errors at random and laugh at my python ineptitude.




Also:
The winter months grow hard, and the troop soon ran out of food. So they ate Sir Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing *half-hearted 'yay'*

Awww! You're no fun anymore...

None shall pass!




















None shall pass!

a moose bit my sister

We demand...a shrubbery!!!

She must be made of stronger stuff...

FETCH

THE COMFY CHAIR

!!!

We are...THE KNIGHTS OF NI!!!

*chorus of 'ni's in the background*






On a personal note, I would like to say I am very sad that planet genestae/ekky ekky ekky woopang appears to have gone. He was the king of python quotes

Sorry to hear of the king's departure - any idea what precipitated that?

Still, no sign of land...how long is it?

Still, no sign of land...how long is it?
That's a rather personal question sir.



Number 18 - The naughty bits.

I meant how long have we been in the lifeboat! We'll have to start again...

(moans)

sorry sir

Still! No sign of land! How long is it?

Thirteen days sir





I don't think I ruined the mood... but I didn't

I want to be a lumberjack, leaping from tree to tree!

*removing blood-soaked white smock, revealing plaid shirt underneath, while uniformed mounties rise up from below stage right. CAROL enters stage left, puts arm around my waist. LUCKY me!*

Oh...

I'm a lumberjack,

Actually, wait, I gotta stop here. I just want to say I've rarely seen a woman alive today who still can turn me on like Carol Cleveland.

Wow. Wee. Carol. Yum. Yum. Yum.

Oh...

I'm a lumberjack,

And I'm ok,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Actually, wait, I gotta stop here. I just want to say I've rarely seen a woman alive today who still can turn me on like Carol Cleveland.

Wow. Wee. Carol. Yum. Yum. Yum.
"but it's my only line"

LOL

I'm having this horrible sense of deja vu...

This parrot wouldn't go voom if you put 10 million volts throught it.

This parrot wouldn't go voom if you put 10 million volts throught it.

but look, 'e's pinin' f'the fjords!

but look, 'e's pinin' f'the fjords!
oh no he's not, he'd be pushing up the daisies if you hadn't nailed im to the perch.

POPE "Tell me Michaelangelo, whatever possessed you to paint the Last Supper with THREE Jesus Christs?"

MICHAELANGELO "Well, the two skinny ones balance out the fat one..."

Not trying to change the thread, but I'm curious whether any other Python lovers, also enjoy the work of Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore like myself.

Not trying to change the thread, but I'm curious whether any other Python lovers, also enjoy the work of Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore like myself.not really, i'm afraid. I like Benny Hill.

This man is here for the Adventure Holiday Package... AND NOTHING ELSE.

No! NO! not the cumfy chair!

Is your wife a goer, eh? eh? nudge nudge ,wink wink, know what I mean?

...err Solidarity Reg.



It's only a flesh wound!

Naughty, Naughty Newt. you must spank her... Spank her hard. and when you are done Spanking Her... You must spank me as well. yes! Yes! You must spank all of us... really hard... and then... the Oral Sex!!!

She's got HUUUGGGGEEE... Tracks of land...

On a personal note, I would like to say I am very sad that planet genestae/ekky ekky ekky woopang appears to have gone. He was the king of python quotes

That's where you're wrong, for you see, I am he.

Upper Class Twit of the Year is the best sketch that they ever did, and I am not going to be argued with on that.

That's where you're wrong, for you see, I am he.

Upper Class Twit of the Year is the best sketch that they ever did, and I am not going to be argued with on that.
Have to agree with you there.

That's where you're wrong, for you see, I am he.

Upper Class Twit of the Year is the best sketch that they ever did, and I am not going to be argued with on that.Have to agree with you there.

You are both wrong. You ARE going to be argued with on that.

"Rogue Chedder", a.k.a. "the Cheese Shop Sketch", is far better than that one.

Have to agree with you there.


Hello and welcome to the Stadium of Light Jarrow!!!!

I'm from Jarrow (a town near Newcastle upon tyne England) and a local football team (Sunderland) stadium is called the Stadium of Light. Fair enough I hear you cry but the ground was only built and named in 1996. How wierd is that!!!!

Have to agree that this is one of Monty Pythons best ever sketches. Although I do love Mr Creosote on the meaning of Life - Would sir like a wafer zin mint? Fuck off!!!

So... ahh... can we have your liver?

That's where you're wrong, for you see, I am he.

Upper Class Twit of the Year is the best sketch that they ever did, and I am not going to be argued with on that.

Nope. You're wrong. It's either the Cheese Shop sketch ("...so I curtailed my Walpoling activities and came here in order to negotiate the purchase of cheesy comestibles." "Eh?" "I'd like to buy some cheese"), or the Argument Clinic ("If I haven't paid, why are you arguing? I've got you there!" "No you haven't. I could be arguing in my spare time.")

Another good one is this:
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable,
Heidegger, Heidegger, was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table,
David Hume could outconsume Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schlosched as Schlegel

There's nothing Nieztsche couldn't teach about the raising of the wrists,
Socrates himself was permanently pissed
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbs was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
"I drink, therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed

:D :D :D

What have the romans ever done for us?

What have the romans ever done for us?
Brought peace?

and Now for something completely different..........


"the Larch" (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/DrShrinker/larch21.gif)

Find the Fish!

What have the romans ever done for us?
Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system and public health?








Brought peace.

Stop it, stop it.
This thread has become too silly.

Brought peace.
Oh, peace - shut up!

There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.

Stop it, stop it.
This thread has become too silly.

All right then. I'll have a bag of Otter Noses.

I want to be called "Loretta". *pouts*

Why do you wanna have babies when you can't have babies?

I just want the right to have babies!

I want to be called "Loretta". *pouts*

Duly noted, Loretta. :D

Do you mind if we call you bruce, to avoid the confusion?

I'm not dead yet!

I'm not dead yet!
Your not fooling anyone

He's getting better.

He's getting better.
No he's not, he'll be stone dead in a moment.

But he feels happy!

Anyway, see you on thursday?

Ya beat me to: "I feel happeeeeeeeee!"

When Danger reared it's Ugly Head
He Bravely turned his Tail and Fled
Brave Sir Robin turned About
And Gallantly he Chickend Out!

Ooooooo!

No, It's Aggggg, back of the throut.

No Oooooo as in suprise and alarm.

Oh you mean something sort of, um, Ahh!

Yes that's it, Ahhhhhh!

I warned you! I warned you, but would you listen, ohhhh no, it's just a harmless little bunny, no-one EVER listens to me...

"Shut up! Right, CHARRRRRRRRGE!"

"Let me come with you, Pontiuth. I may be of thome athithtanth if there ith a thudden crithith."

Biggus Dickus, The Life of Brian

1 of Graham Chapman's few other roles in the film but Brilliant!

He has a wife you know!

*Sniggers from the guards*

Do you want to know what she's called? She's called.... Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.

Phwow him to the floor!

Thanks for the gold and the frankenscence, (Is that how it's spelt?) But don't worry too much about the murr next time...

A BALM! THAT'S A DANGEROUS ANIMAL!

I dunno I dreamed it or not though...

Dinsdale?

Well if any of you are intrested ... I have the life of brian ... holy grail ... and the meaning of life script on my website

www.upwardthrust.us

and under usefull links ... at the bottom

:)

Well if any of you are intrested ... I have the life of brian ... holy grail ... and the meaning of life script on my website

www.upwardthrust.us

and under usefull links ... at the bottom

:)

Cool. Do you have the first draft of ...Holy Grail? It's pretty funny too... I have it in a book somewhere.

Cool. Do you have the first draft of ...Holy Grail? It's pretty funny too... I have it in a book somewhere.
Home somewhere :-D lol I dont have it on my work computer lol

This is from the first draft:

Arthur is giving a soliloquey to his knights. He talks about how it will be a hard and gruelling quest, how it may take decades, how many of them will not live to see their homes again. Then there is a touching teary-eyed farewell scene.

We see a lone knight walking away from the camera. As he gets to where we can just still make him out, he stops, bends down, and yells "found it!"

HEAD KNIGHT: We are the knights who say...Ni!

RANDOM: Ni!

ARTHUR:No! Not the knights who say Ni!

HEAD KNIGHT:The same

BEDEVERE: Who are they?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng' and 'Neee-

wom'!

Later...

ARTHUR: Oh knights of Ni, we have brought you a shrubbery. May we go now?

HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly,... but there is one small problem.

ARTHUR: What is that?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'.

KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Shh!

HEAD KNIGHT: Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv'.

Only a largely strange group of people could come up with that. Good for MP

As the horrendous Black Beast [of Aaaaaarrrrgh] lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack.

[Sings]
I bet you they won't play this song on the radio
I bet you they won't play this [BEEEP] song.
It's not that it's [BEEEEP] or [BEEEEEP] controversial.
Just that the [BEEEEP]ing words are awfully strong.

you can't say [BEEEEP] on the radio
or [BEEEEP] or [BEEEEP] or [BEEEEP]
you can't even say I'ld like to [BEEEEP] you someday
unless you're a Doctor with a very large [BEEEEP]

So I Betcha they won't play this song on the radio.
I bet you they won't even [BEEEEP] program it
I bet you they're [BEEEEP]ing all program directors
who think it's a load of horse[BEEEEP]!

-If you wish to cross this bridge, then answer me these questions three:
-What is your name
*King Arthur
-What is your quest
*To seek the Holy Grail
-What is the average flight velocity of a swallow carrying a coconut
*African or European?
-I don't know.. AAAAAAARGH! *falls down into bottomless crevasse*

Albertross!!!

I warned you but did you listen to me ohh noo, its jus a harmless wee little bunneh, well now look what its gone and done its allways the same...

We are no longer the knights who say ni, we are now the nights who sayy ecki ecki ecki p'tang zoombongzumbang zumnowuringm

"Cardinal fang! fetch the comfy chair!" "The comfy chair" (in a scared voice)

He's not the Saviour, hes a very naughty boy!

I ought to know the messiah, I've followed a few!

I ought to know the messiah, I've followed a few!

Not quite. The sequence actually goes:

Brian: I'm not the Messiah!
Arthur: I say you are, Lord, and I should know, I've followed a few.

He's not the Saviour, hes a very naughty boy!

Get it right! It's "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

And if you've seen Terry Jones' Medieval Lives on TV, his coat of arms includes a python and the motto "Messiah non est"!

Not quite. The sequence actually goes:

Brian: I'm not the Messiah!
Arthur: I say you are, Lord, and I should know, I've followed a few.

oh. sorry. once again, my inability to remember quotes is proven.

Get it right! It's "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
Indeed. Considering this particular phrase was posted at the beginning of the thread, you'd think most would get it right.

"I fart in your general direction!"