Better blah
12-11-2004, 04:49
These are funny as shit, this guy is hilarious
Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
MommyMelissa: whatever.
.F.: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
jap_gurli: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
I.F.: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
jap_gurli: haha, ok lets go.
jap_gurli: : i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
I.F.: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
jap_gurli: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
jap_gurli: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
I.F.: : Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
jap_gurli: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
I.F.: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
jap_gurli: stop, cmon be serious.
I.F.: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
I.F.: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
jap_gurli: thats it.
I.F.: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
I.F.: Goddam am I hard now.
-she signed off...-
I.F.: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Jenny20fny: mmmm, okay.
I.F.: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Jenny20fny: Yeah I like it rough.
I.F.: I smack you thick booty.
Jenny20fny: Oh yeah, that feels good.
I.F.: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
I.F.: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Jenny20fny: you like that?
I.F.: I peel some bananas.
Jenny20fny: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
I.F.: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Jenny20fny: Peanuts?
I.F.: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Jenny20fny: What are you talking about?
I.F.: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Jenny20fny: This is stupid.
I.F.: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
I.F.: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
I.F.: Yeeaahhhh.
Jenny20fny: /ignore
I.F.: Its cool stone cold she was a #@%$! anyway.
I.F.: We get on tricycles and ride into the sunset
-She blocked me...-
I.F.: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears17: Aight.
I.F.: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears17: I slip out of my pants, just for you, I.F.
I.F.: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my cloak and wizard hat.
BritneySpears17: Oh, I like to play dress up.
I.F.: Me too baby.
BritneySpears17: I kiss you softly on your chest.
I.F.: I cast Lvl. 4 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears17: Hey...
I.F.: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 $!$% of the Infinite.
BritneySpears17: Funny I still don't see it.
I.F.: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Abyss.
BritneySpears17: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
I.F.: Don't f**k with me #@%$!, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
I.F.: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 10,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears17: Don't ever message me again you piece of $!@%.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts a counter attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
I.F.: King Arthur and the knights of the round table congratulate me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
I.F.: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
I.F.: Baby?
BritneySpears17: Ok, are you ready?
eminemAllstar: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears17: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemAllstar: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears17: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears17: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemAllstar: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears17: What the !&$%, I told you not to message me again.
eminemAllstar: Oh $!@%
BritneySpears17: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you !&$%ing pedophile.
eminemAllstar: Oh !&$%
eminemAllstar: damn I gotta write down your names or something...
I.F.: Wanna cyber?
SexyRachel: OK, but don't tell anybody
SexyRachel: Who are you?
I.F.: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
I.F.: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa Murphy's in my Geo Storm.
SexyRachel: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
I.F.: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa Murphy's and make an order
SexyRachel: Haha! OK
SexyRachel: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
I.F.: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa Murphy's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
SexyRachel: I want everything, baby!
I.F.: Is this a delivery?
SexyRachel: Umm...Yes
SexyRachel: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
I.F.: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.....
SexyRachel: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
I.F.: You can't hurry good pizza.
I.F.: I'm on my way now though......
SexyRachel: So you're at my front door now.
I.F.: How did you know?
I.F.: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
I.F.: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
SexyRachel: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
I.F.: So you're still in the bathroom?
SexyRachel: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
I.F.: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
SexyRachel: What the !&$%k?
SexyRachel: You perverted piece of $!@%t
SexyRachel: !&$% you!
-blocked me-
I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
I.F.: a Kodiac bear
SexyKarla17: ?
I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
Sexykarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
Sexykarla17: huh?
I.F.: Bears get !&$%in pumped when anyone is near their cubs
Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
Sexykarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
Sexykarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
Sexykarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
Sexykarla17: what the !&$%?
I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.
I.F.: My $!@% is hard you ready to jump aboard?
1hOttYeVe: oh yhea im so wet right now
I.F.: Why you just shower?
1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you
I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator $!@% you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.
1hOttYeVe: What the !&$% are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?
I.F.: I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you...
I.F.: Im sorry lets continue!
1hOttYeVe: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest
I.F.: I pop like 16 boners
1hOttYeVe: what the !&$%!
I.F.: what?
Isuzoom: Hey,what's up?
victim: Hey hon, you ready?
Isuzoom: Yeah, i guess so, never done this before.
victim: Well what turns you on?
Isuzoom: cars
victim: I like cars too. I walk up to your car and
kiss the closed window
Isuzoom: I roll down the window and wipe off the
smudge.
victim: I ask you for a ride and get in.
Isuzoom: Did you wipe your feet?
victim: Yeah, I guess. I lean over and unbutton your
pants while kissing your neck
Isuzoom: I rev the engine by mistake.
victim: ooh, excited? I reach into your boxers.
Isuzoom:Underoos
victim: Wut?
Isuzoom: I wear underoos.
victim: ookay. I reach down and grab your manhood. You
like that?
Isuzoom: My foot slips of the clutch at 4,000 RPMs and
the stage 3 grabs the aluminum flywheel so hard that my all 4 potenzas burn
out and you are thrown back in your seat.
victim: I have no Idea what you just said.
Isuzoom: I stop the car, pop the hood and get out.
victim: I follow you??
Isuzoom: I open the hood and grab you around the
waist.
victim: Mmmm, now we're talking
Isuzoom: I put you on the upper radiator support and
caress your upper strut mounts.
victim: What?
Isuzoom: Yeah baby. Then I take my #1 piston and
stick it in your exhaust pipe. You Idle loudly and I can hear your intake noise
through your cone filter.
victim: This is a little weird.
Isuzoom: You rev loudly as I play with the butterfly
on your throttle body.
victim: I'm going now.
Isuzoom: Fuel reaches my 450cc injectors as you
carress my rising-rate fuel
pressure regulator.
victim: HELLOO??!?!?!
Isuzoom: Yeah baby, we hit redline as I inject my
nitrous into your fuel port.
victim: Bye Retard!!
Isuzoom: I slap your rear bumper as the compression
drops in my cylinder. Was
it good for you?
Isuzoom: Baby?
Isuzoom: Hello?
Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
Bloodninja: Yeah, I just like fighting movies.
Partner6: So whats with the *Ninja*
Bloodninja?: Uh, It's cause I'm into the kung fu gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
Bloodninja: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
Bloodninja: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
Bloodninja: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
Bloodninja: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
Bloodninja: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
Bloodninja: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
Bloodninja: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
Bloodninja: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
Bloodninja: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f**k women...
Bloodninja: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipsh*t.
Bloodninja: I whimper to myself...
Bloodninja: please don't shoot me
Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
MommyMelissa: whatever.
.F.: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
jap_gurli: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
I.F.: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
jap_gurli: haha, ok lets go.
jap_gurli: : i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
I.F.: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
jap_gurli: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
jap_gurli: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
I.F.: : Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
jap_gurli: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
I.F.: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
jap_gurli: stop, cmon be serious.
I.F.: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
I.F.: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
jap_gurli: thats it.
I.F.: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
I.F.: Goddam am I hard now.
-she signed off...-
I.F.: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Jenny20fny: mmmm, okay.
I.F.: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Jenny20fny: Yeah I like it rough.
I.F.: I smack you thick booty.
Jenny20fny: Oh yeah, that feels good.
I.F.: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
I.F.: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Jenny20fny: you like that?
I.F.: I peel some bananas.
Jenny20fny: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
I.F.: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Jenny20fny: Peanuts?
I.F.: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Jenny20fny: What are you talking about?
I.F.: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Jenny20fny: This is stupid.
I.F.: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
I.F.: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
I.F.: Yeeaahhhh.
Jenny20fny: /ignore
I.F.: Its cool stone cold she was a #@%$! anyway.
I.F.: We get on tricycles and ride into the sunset
-She blocked me...-
I.F.: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears17: Aight.
I.F.: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears17: I slip out of my pants, just for you, I.F.
I.F.: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my cloak and wizard hat.
BritneySpears17: Oh, I like to play dress up.
I.F.: Me too baby.
BritneySpears17: I kiss you softly on your chest.
I.F.: I cast Lvl. 4 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears17: Hey...
I.F.: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 $!$% of the Infinite.
BritneySpears17: Funny I still don't see it.
I.F.: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Abyss.
BritneySpears17: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
I.F.: Don't f**k with me #@%$!, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
I.F.: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 10,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears17: Don't ever message me again you piece of $!@%.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts a counter attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
I.F.: King Arthur and the knights of the round table congratulate me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
I.F.: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
I.F.: Baby?
BritneySpears17: Ok, are you ready?
eminemAllstar: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears17: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemAllstar: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears17: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears17: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemAllstar: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears17: What the !&$%, I told you not to message me again.
eminemAllstar: Oh $!@%
BritneySpears17: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you !&$%ing pedophile.
eminemAllstar: Oh !&$%
eminemAllstar: damn I gotta write down your names or something...
I.F.: Wanna cyber?
SexyRachel: OK, but don't tell anybody
SexyRachel: Who are you?
I.F.: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
I.F.: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa Murphy's in my Geo Storm.
SexyRachel: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
I.F.: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa Murphy's and make an order
SexyRachel: Haha! OK
SexyRachel: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
I.F.: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa Murphy's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
SexyRachel: I want everything, baby!
I.F.: Is this a delivery?
SexyRachel: Umm...Yes
SexyRachel: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
I.F.: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.....
SexyRachel: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
I.F.: You can't hurry good pizza.
I.F.: I'm on my way now though......
SexyRachel: So you're at my front door now.
I.F.: How did you know?
I.F.: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
I.F.: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
SexyRachel: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
I.F.: So you're still in the bathroom?
SexyRachel: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
I.F.: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
SexyRachel: What the !&$%k?
SexyRachel: You perverted piece of $!@%t
SexyRachel: !&$% you!
-blocked me-
I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
I.F.: a Kodiac bear
SexyKarla17: ?
I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
Sexykarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
Sexykarla17: huh?
I.F.: Bears get !&$%in pumped when anyone is near their cubs
Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
Sexykarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
Sexykarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
Sexykarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
Sexykarla17: what the !&$%?
I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.
I.F.: My $!@% is hard you ready to jump aboard?
1hOttYeVe: oh yhea im so wet right now
I.F.: Why you just shower?
1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you
I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator $!@% you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.
1hOttYeVe: What the !&$% are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?
I.F.: I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you...
I.F.: Im sorry lets continue!
1hOttYeVe: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest
I.F.: I pop like 16 boners
1hOttYeVe: what the !&$%!
I.F.: what?
Isuzoom: Hey,what's up?
victim: Hey hon, you ready?
Isuzoom: Yeah, i guess so, never done this before.
victim: Well what turns you on?
Isuzoom: cars
victim: I like cars too. I walk up to your car and
kiss the closed window
Isuzoom: I roll down the window and wipe off the
smudge.
victim: I ask you for a ride and get in.
Isuzoom: Did you wipe your feet?
victim: Yeah, I guess. I lean over and unbutton your
pants while kissing your neck
Isuzoom: I rev the engine by mistake.
victim: ooh, excited? I reach into your boxers.
Isuzoom:Underoos
victim: Wut?
Isuzoom: I wear underoos.
victim: ookay. I reach down and grab your manhood. You
like that?
Isuzoom: My foot slips of the clutch at 4,000 RPMs and
the stage 3 grabs the aluminum flywheel so hard that my all 4 potenzas burn
out and you are thrown back in your seat.
victim: I have no Idea what you just said.
Isuzoom: I stop the car, pop the hood and get out.
victim: I follow you??
Isuzoom: I open the hood and grab you around the
waist.
victim: Mmmm, now we're talking
Isuzoom: I put you on the upper radiator support and
caress your upper strut mounts.
victim: What?
Isuzoom: Yeah baby. Then I take my #1 piston and
stick it in your exhaust pipe. You Idle loudly and I can hear your intake noise
through your cone filter.
victim: This is a little weird.
Isuzoom: You rev loudly as I play with the butterfly
on your throttle body.
victim: I'm going now.
Isuzoom: Fuel reaches my 450cc injectors as you
carress my rising-rate fuel
pressure regulator.
victim: HELLOO??!?!?!
Isuzoom: Yeah baby, we hit redline as I inject my
nitrous into your fuel port.
victim: Bye Retard!!
Isuzoom: I slap your rear bumper as the compression
drops in my cylinder. Was
it good for you?
Isuzoom: Baby?
Isuzoom: Hello?
Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
Bloodninja: Yeah, I just like fighting movies.
Partner6: So whats with the *Ninja*
Bloodninja?: Uh, It's cause I'm into the kung fu gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
Bloodninja: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
Bloodninja: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
Bloodninja: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
Bloodninja: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
Bloodninja: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
Bloodninja: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
Bloodninja: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
Bloodninja: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
Bloodninja: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f**k women...
Bloodninja: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipsh*t.
Bloodninja: I whimper to myself...
Bloodninja: please don't shoot me