NationStates Jolt Archive

Cut themselves? What if you noticed that one day? You found blood all over their sheets or on a shirt. Missing razorblades...seeing everything all over them.

What would you do?

What if your 12-16 year old killed themselves?

Recently in New Jersey there has been alot of suicides by people from ages 14-16...why do you think that has been?

Why do people kill themselves? Young Teens?

What would you do finding your child bleeding like that?

A cry for help or a need to escape?

From personal experience, it would seem to be a cry for help. I have had several extreme depression bouts lately and in one I almost killed myself not intentionally, but as a result of my body freezing up and me nearly driving into a lightpole. Luckily, a good friend called me because she had noticed something about me that night and wanted to make sure I was OK. so I went to bed feleing a lot better knowing somebody actually cared.

that having been said, I would get a friend of theirs too intervene. Often times, it isn't the parents that the kids want to have help from, it's somebody else.

Well... I cut. And to be honest, the last thing I want is any of my friends intervening. This is just me, but I cut more when I'm stressed, and having people worry about me stresses me out more. For me, cutting is a way of dealing with stuff I can't change and can't handle thinking about, albeit a pretty unhealthy way. It helps me focus and stop thinking about stuff that upsets me. When people confront me about it, it just feels like "Nyer, you suck, attention whore". And to be honest (again), that sort of thing makes me more likely to break down and cut more (NOTE: people who hate emos! Shut up and they'll have less to complain about!)

And I think the suicide rate is rising because people are jerks. Seriously. The number of non-shitty people I know in person can be counted on one hand, and the non-shitty people I know online on maybe a hand and half a foot. I have a choice between cutting myself, or gouging out the eyes of people I hate.

But then, I can't speak for other people now, can I?

Well... I cut. And to be honest, the last thing I want is any of my friends intervening. This is just me, but I cut more when I'm stressed, and having people worry about me stresses me out more. For me, cutting is a way of dealing with stuff I can't change and can't handle thinking about, albeit a pretty unhealthy way. It helps me focus and stop thinking about stuff that upsets me. When people confront me about it, it just feels like "Nyer, you suck, attention whore". And to be honest (again), that sort of thing makes me more likely to break down and cut more (NOTE: people who hate emos! Shut up and they'll have less to complain about!)

And I think the suicide rate is rising because people are jerks. Seriously. The number of non-shitty people I know in person can be counted on one hand, and the non-shitty people I know online on maybe a hand and half a foot. I have a choice between cutting myself, or gouging out the eyes of people I hate.

But then, I can't speak for other people now, can I?

Nope you can't, but I guess I found a haven for non Shitty people at church. This is going to sound wierd, but I love the people at my chruch because they're all so nice. They'd never try to hurt you. It's a very nice place to be.

Cutting and suicide are similar but often very different in thier causes. Cutting's not a bad one and usually comes from two causes, either a feeling that they have no control over their life, or a have a sense of disgust with themself (if female check for body image problems, male too but more often female), but more often control. With wether cause, go to a shrink, really, much as I think the profession in general has too much a tendency these days to overmedicate and often over-analysis minor problems, you want a shrink's assessment to work from. Suicide is differnet, but you still want a shrink to get an idea of what you're up against. This doesn't have to be therapy, but you at least want an outside professional assessment of what you're dealing with. Since it's your kid, you get to see the shrink too, heck you should probably spend at least as much time with the shrink as the kid does if not more.

My strongest advice is to consider any sort of legnthy inpatient treatment an absolute last resort, you should really only consider it when you've written the kid off as a lost cause. I have no doubt there are some effective inpatient facilities out there for teens and children, but I have never seen one. Adolescence is an important part of a person defining their place in the world and if they spend too much of it in pysch center they will define their place in the world as being in a psych hospital. Before a psych hospital consider biting the bullet and shelling out the cash for a private school specializing in problem children, while they also tend to leave the kid with problems they are much less severe than the ones usually left by the adolescent psych centers.

Well... I cut. And to be honest, the last thing I want is any of my friends intervening. This is just me, but I cut more when I'm stressed, and having people worry about me stresses me out more. For me, cutting is a way of dealing with stuff I can't change and can't handle thinking about, albeit a pretty unhealthy way. It helps me focus and stop thinking about stuff that upsets me. When people confront me about it, it just feels like "Nyer, you suck, attention whore". And to be honest (again), that sort of thing makes me more likely to break down and cut more (NOTE: people who hate emos! Shut up and they'll have less to complain about!)

And I think the suicide rate is rising because people are jerks. Seriously. The number of non-shitty people I know in person can be counted on one hand, and the non-shitty people I know online on maybe a hand and half a foot. I have a choice between cutting myself, or gouging out the eyes of people I hate.

But then, I can't speak for other people now, can I?

Dude, if you're for real, you need some serious help and I pray you get it. Shit you can't change will be around for the rest of your life. Jerks are a fact of life. If you can't face thinking about things that upset you, you need another way to "focus." There are things I don't like thinking about, but when they slap me in the face I have to deal with them. I don't think you're an "attention whore" by cutting, but I do think you need to learn some "reality coping skills." Instead of cutting, try to do something about the things that bother you. Join a club, volunteer, work for a political party, whatever. You can make a difference if you try and don't give up at the first set back.

Nope you can't, but I guess I found a haven for non Shitty people at church. This is going to sound wierd, but I love the people at my chruch because they're all so nice. They'd never try to hurt you. It's a very nice place to be.
I used to cut, and the church people made it much worse, my friends tried to make me feel better, so I went to a doctor, and he gave me a mild antidepressant that I took for almost a year, since I've been off of it, I've felt way better, I havent cut myself, and I actually stand up for myself now. So if you know someone, try to get them into a dotor, I'm glad that I did, and they will be too

Well... I cut. And to be honest, the last thing I want is any of my friends intervening. This is just me, but I cut more when I'm stressed, and having people worry about me stresses me out more. For me, cutting is a way of dealing with stuff I can't change and can't handle thinking about, albeit a pretty unhealthy way. It helps me focus and stop thinking about stuff that upsets me. When people confront me about it, it just feels like "Nyer, you suck, attention whore". And to be honest (again), that sort of thing makes me more likely to break down and cut more (NOTE: people who hate emos! Shut up and they'll have less to complain about!)

And I think the suicide rate is rising because people are jerks. Seriously. The number of non-shitty people I know in person can be counted on one hand, and the non-shitty people I know online on maybe a hand and half a foot. I have a choice between cutting myself, or gouging out the eyes of people I hate.

But then, I can't speak for other people now, can I?

To start by answering the original question, I'd talk to them, tell them about my own personal experiences in the matter, ask why they do it, and do what I can to help them though it.

Shaed, I dunno how similer my experience with cutting is to yours, but I too didn't want my friends to know for the most part. I was worried sick about them getting judgemental and such about it. Once again, it may be way off from yours, but in my experience, and from what I know of other people who have and do cut, they want people to love and accept them WITHOUT having to know what a lack of it was driving them to do.

Now, while my life really hasn't imporved too much since when I was cutting, I promised myself to never do it again, and I've been upholding it pretty well. My problem was that it was flat out addicting, and, to alter a statement slightly, even one slice would be too much.

Well... I cut. And to be honest, the last thing I want is any of my friends intervening. This is just me, but I cut more when I'm stressed, and having people worry about me stresses me out more. For me, cutting is a way of dealing with stuff I can't change and can't handle thinking about, albeit a pretty unhealthy way. It helps me focus and stop thinking about stuff that upsets me. When people confront me about it, it just feels like "Nyer, you suck, attention whore". And to be honest (again), that sort of thing makes me more likely to break down and cut more (NOTE: people who hate emos! Shut up and they'll have less to complain about!)

And I think the suicide rate is rising because people are jerks. Seriously. The number of non-shitty people I know in person can be counted on one hand, and the non-shitty people I know online on maybe a hand and half a foot. I have a choice between cutting myself, or gouging out the eyes of people I hate.

But then, I can't speak for other people now, can I?

As for you, I have a solution, Try taking up a sport (may I suggest biking?) and try that for a while as a way of coping you should feel better about yourself because of it, try that our for a couple months, and if that does nothing for you, try going to a doctor

"hmm. I'm sad, so I think I'll make myself in horrible pain, instead. Maybe then people will feel sorry for me which will make me happy."
Ignoring the awful grammar, there (gimme a break, it's 1 am) that is the message people who cut themselves are giving me. Now, maybe I can't talk. I've never been in a bout of depression. Hell, the longest I've felt bad for is maybe a week. I just never understood suicidal tendencies. I mean, if you're atheist it's just like snuffing a candle, and there's nothing after, but if you're Christian like most people here assumingly are, you go to hell, because suiciden is a mortal sin. Now, which is truly worse. Getting dumped, or pain and horror beyond your wildest dreams?

Your choice.

"hmm. I'm sad, so I think I'll make myself in horrible pain, instead. Maybe then people will feel sorry for me which will make me happy."
Ignoring the awful grammar, there (gimme a break, it's 1 am) that is the message people who cut themselves are giving me. Now, maybe I can't talk. I've never been in a bout of depression. Hell, the longest I've felt bad for is maybe a week. I just never understood suicidal tendencies. I mean, if you're atheist it's just like snuffing a candle, and there's nothing after, but if you're Christian like most people here assumingly are, you go to hell, because suiciden is a mortal sin. Now, which is truly worse. Getting dumped, or pain and horror beyond your wildest dreams?

Your choice.

well, I dont think you're doing it for attention, it's sad that anyone will do it, and I admit that I used to, but I did stop, I got help, professional help, you should try that or doing something active

just a quick question, when you're not depressed, are you really happy?
if so, you may have manic depression (formerly known as Bipolar disorder)

Woah, bunch of stuff to reply to.

....snip for length...QUOTE]

The problem with seeking medical help is that a doctor or psychiatrist is legally required to inform people (often your parents if you are under a certain age) that you are harming yourself. They don't have a choice, because if they don't infrom the required people, and a patient *does* commit suicide, they can be sued for negligence.

So if you *are* seeking therapy, you have to be prepared to deal with everything at once. Also, many antidepressants have a 'down-time' period at the start, where you feel *worse* for a few weeks before they start altering your hormonal system for the better. People who've actually considered suicide may be more at risk during this period.

[QUOTE=Mauiwowee]Dude, if you're for real, you need some serious help and I pray you get it. Shit you can't change will be around for the rest of your life. Jerks are a fact of life. If you can't face thinking about things that upset you, you need another way to "focus." There are things I don't like thinking about, but when they slap me in the face I have to deal with them. I don't think you're an "attention whore" by cutting, but I do think you need to learn some "reality coping skills." Instead of cutting, try to do something about the things that bother you. Join a club, volunteer, work for a political party, whatever. You can make a difference if you try and don't give up at the first set back.

I had successfully given up cutting for over a year. It's just flared up recently because of a whole bunch of stuff (boring mundane stuff to anyone else, perhaps), happening all at the same time. When I say 'focus', I don't mean in general, I mean when I get to the point of just crying for hours. Normally I can read a book, or something similar to stop, but just these past months it hasn't worked. I'm assuming that now, since I've cut out pretty much everything that was upsetting me, the cutting should cool off again.

....snipped slightly

Shaed, I dunno how similer my experience with cutting is to yours, but I too didn't want my friends to know for the most part. I was worried sick about them getting judgemental and such about it. Once again, it may be way off from yours, but in my experience, and from what I know of other people who have and do cut, they want people to love and accept them WITHOUT having to know what a lack of it was driving them to do.

Now, while my life really hasn't imporved too much since when I was cutting, I promised myself to never do it again, and I've been upholding it pretty well. My problem was that it was flat out addicting, and, to alter a statement slightly, even one slice would be too much.

I have to admit, part of the reason I don't like telling people I know in real life that I cut IS because I don't want random pity. I don't want people to suddenly go from not giving a shit to caring about me, because that does just, basically, reduce me as a person to the fact that I cut. I also agree that cutting is addictive. I didn't have much trouble stopping the first time, but I've been having rather more trouble this time around (mainly because it's very very difficult to cut out everything that's bothering me, since some things are related to the very basics of my life-style).

As for you, I have a solution, Try taking up a sport (may I suggest biking?) and try that for a while as a way of coping you should feel better about yourself because of it, try that our for a couple months, and if that does nothing for you, try going to a doctor

Well, I do appreciate the advice. Unfortunately, I have a few associated problems (insomnia, low blood pressure/sugar, etc). I have seen a doctor, but unfortunately one of the main reasons I am depressed is trust issues, so I can't open up to a doctor. But, like I've said, I have made the effort to cut out the people/things in my life that were upsetting me, and that does appear to be working. Thanks for the advice (which I happen to know would work, if I wasn't such a lazy sod :p)

"hmm. I'm sad, so I think I'll make myself in horrible pain, instead. Maybe then people will feel sorry for me which will make me happy."
Ignoring the awful grammar, there (gimme a break, it's 1 am) that is the message people who cut themselves are giving me. Now, maybe I can't talk. I've never been in a bout of depression. Hell, the longest I've felt bad for is maybe a week. I just never understood suicidal tendencies. I mean, if you're atheist it's just like snuffing a candle, and there's nothing after, but if you're Christian like most people here assumingly are, you go to hell, because suiciden is a mortal sin. Now, which is truly worse. Getting dumped, or pain and horror beyond your wildest dreams?

Your choice.

Depression is not, in fact, about being sad. Normally it's to do with feeling like you have no control over things that happen (I can post something up about learned helplessness, it's very interesting). Most people who cut DON'T want pity. While I also despise people who go around showing off cuts, you need to realise that there may be hundreds of people you know who cut, but who would never tell you, because they don't want your pity. For me, cutting is never about a future reaction. It's always about dealing with things in the present. I'm glad you've never suffered depression, but would really appreciate you not judging those of us that do. Amongst all the other reasons why it's a stupid thing to judge people on, there's the fact that it's often tied directly to health or hormonal issues (one reason I'm not willing to take any medication until I get out of my teens). People don't act on it, because with depression comes the feeling that nothing you will do will change it, and so it's just better to curl up and let it happen (gah, now I really want to go write up that learned helplessness article from my psych book... must resist... work-like activites...)

Phew, sorry for long post, but I wanted to reply to everything at once :p

Spelling/grammar errors are due to me being a) a lazy sod and b) hyper because I just finished my last year 12 exam (yee!)

just a quick question, when you're not depressed, are you really happy?
if so, you may have manic depression (formerly known as Bipolar disorder)

Ehhh... my diet currently (since just before my exams) is/was almost entirely sugar and caffeine. So... yes, I was hyperly-happy. But I'm not willing to judge it as bi-polar (I have wondered about it myself though). Once I get back to my normal diet, and now that I've got rid of the stuff that was upsetting me, I will be keeping an eye on mood swings though (it's doubly tricky because I'm only 17, and female. Hormones could easily be to blame for rapid mood-swings)

If I kill myself I'm getting my parent's consent.

I know that sounds retarded, but I can't stand the idea of leaving them with such a horrible surprise or false hope or anything.

about the no medication thing: I was the same way intil I tried it, I was 15 when I took it, and it was amazing, i went from not caring, to being at the top of my everything, suddenly things are fun, and I Love doing stuff, and also, just go biking once, and see how that makes you feel, also, look at joke websites, it may help you. I also have a good knowlege of psychology, and I think you should try medication

Recently in New Jersey there has been alot of suicides by people from ages 14-16...why do you think that has been?


They live in New Jersey, America's tertiary crap-hole. Why do you think they are killing themselves? Its not North Dakota (primary crap-hole), and its not Delaware (secondary crap-hole), but it is New Jersey. Honestly, how can you be surprised?

I had successfully given up cutting for over a year. It's just flared up recently because of a whole bunch of stuff (boring mundane stuff to anyone else, perhaps), happening all at the same time. When I say 'focus', I don't mean in general, I mean when I get to the point of just crying for hours. Normally I can read a book, or something similar to stop, but just these past months it hasn't worked. I'm assuming that now, since I've cut out pretty much everything that was upsetting me, the cutting should cool off again. It wasn't advice geared toward someone who cuts, but towards the parent of someone who cuts. Entirely different audience, but if your cutting gets so bad your parents find out, their going to need to see a shrink to find out what's going on with you unless they've delt with cutters before. It's not a rare phenomena, and many people are able to control it, I have a friend who used to cut in HS, survived it without major scaring, had a relapse in his late 20s and manages quite well now, wiithout seeing a shrink, but he did have the advantage of in his early 20s working with some seriously screwed up kids. Conversely, I know a few people who were/are really screwed up by it, although some of that may be attributable to the treatment. Every person is different, but it is something you want to make sure doesn't get beyond your capability to control. It could be worse, some people become alcoholics.

So now, what do you think of people that cut?

Are they attention whores?

Do they just wanna brand their scars?

Do they wanna say they got into knife fights ?

Are they just whiney bitches?

Or are they really hurting inside and expressing their pain?

Humans are very emotional and express everything. Is this just another way?

something to numb the pain...when I do i, its not a cry for help, its just something that takes the place of whatever is bothering me, something to take my mind off of my troubles by repacing emotional pain with physical

If I kill myself I'm getting my parent's consent.

I know that sounds retarded, but I can't stand the idea of leaving them with such a horrible surprise or false hope or anything.

Please don't. I'd miss you.

Given that the cutters I have seen hide it and don't want anyone to know about it, I hardly think they are being attention whores.

Given that the cutters I have seen hide it and don't want anyone to know about it, I hardly think they are being attention whores.

Exactly.

While obviously this isn't ALWAYS true, people who whine and complain and use a "bad life" as an excuse a lot usually don't have it nearly as bad as some of the quieter kids. Or the louder ones, for that matter.