NationStates Jolt Archive

I think we should make an NS Bible. I'll start, and we'll make more passages based on what has happened in NS

The Book Of Violet, chapter 1

1) The lord Max saw a server. He said, "Let there be a political Game!" and there was a political based game.

2) He then said, "This game needs Players". And there were players. Many kinds of them. There were Conservatives, Liberals, Libratarians, Psychotics, Authotarians, Anarchists and Evil players.

Carry on :D

(btw, if this is spam please say so)

3) Then the Lord created computer so the player could actually play

And the Lord said to them, "Thou shalt not flame or post items of spam, or ye shall be forever barred from the congregation of the lord."

And the Anarchists said:"Fuck you God, we don't even believe in you"

and gods wrath came down down from up above and killed all the non-belivers sparing all that did belive in him

And Max warned the players not to eat the fruit of the flame, but they were stupid, so they did anyways. Chaos ensued.

And the spammers and flamers took over. Chaos prevailed. Untill Max and Violet said. "Let there be mods" And those mods ruled over Nationstates with an iron fist of fury and might, many became corrupt. And as they gained more and more power, the peasants of nationstates knew that something must be done.

And the Lord said to them, "Thou shalt not flame or post items of spam, or ye shall be forever barred from the congregation of the lord."
And Max said, "Flame or troll lest ye be flamed thyself. Thou haveth the right for defence with thyne I.G.N.O.R.E. Cannon and thy STFU Shield"

Then cometh Tenete Traditiones and Decisive Action, feigning friendship, but cameth as fools. And they said unto us "Ye must believe our conspiracies. haveth we proof, no." [But blindeth art us to the real world]. So come the Mods, saying unto them, "I giveth thee a forumban of two weeks time, respecteth other posters, racist swine!"

You're starting far too broadly.

Genesis
Chapter 1.

1. In the beginning was Max Barry, the Tetragrammaton Lord of This World.
2. And Max Barry wrote a book.
3. And the book was about marketing.
4. And Max Barry said, "Lo, since my book shall be about marketing, there shall be a clever way to market this book."
5. And Max Barry said, "Let there be NationStates, an online simulation game, which will market Jennifer Government."
6. And so he began to code the game.
7. To aid Max Barry in his task, he contacted Geoff Wang of Zikzak Technologies.
8. And he helped Max Barry design the software architecture.
9. And Max Barry looked at the game, and saw that it was okay.
10. But that it could still be improved. Significantly.

Chapter 2.
1. Max Barry said, "Let there be dynamic nation descriptions, so that the nation descriptions are not for the most part fixed no matter what nation you have."
2. And he also said, "No more incongruous issues."
3. And behold, those nations who had previously outlawed gambling no longer suffered from gambling problems.
4. Max Barry said, "Let the game logins carry over to the forums, so that people will not have to log in separately when they get to the forum."
5. And so it was done, although it was still possible to log in to the forum without logging in to the game.
6. Then Max Barry said, "Let there be auto-login." And it was so.
7. And then Max Barry thought, "The players will have questions about the game, so we must help educate them and add material to further their understanding."
8. And so the FAQ page and About page were added.
9. Then Max Barry said, "Lo, random passwords are quite annoying and difficult to remember."
10. And so user-set passwords were implemented.
11. Then Max Barry said, "Let the nations decide for themselves how many issues they shall receive." And it was so.
12. And then Max Barry said, "Let there be a flag for each nation, to provide an immediately identifiable characteristic for each one." And it was so.
13. Finally, Max Barry said, "Let there be two updates a day, with the first around 1 AM Los Angeles time and the other at 1 PM." And it was so.
14. And then Max Barry rested for a little while.

Chapter 3.
1. Max Barry looked at NationStates one day, and proclaimed that the frame borders were sinful, and must be removed. And it was done.
2. And the sidebar background was colored blue.
3. And then Max Barry looked at the sidebar again, and pronounced it not good.
4. And a citiscape picture was inserted into the sidebar.
5. And Max Barry pronounced it good.

more later....

1. In the beginning was Max Barry, the Tetragrammaton Lord of This World.


Is Max Barry a four letter word in Hebrew?

And the Anarchists said:"Fuck you God, we don't even believe in you"
However then cometh Letila, an Anarchist who said unto the posters the ideas of "Love and Peace." He be-eth an apostle of Vash the Stampede

Is Max Barry a four letter word in Hebrew?
Double tetragrammaton, actually:

מהקס בארי

However then cometh Letila, an Anarchist who said unto the posters the ideas of "Love and Peace." He be-eth an apostle of Vash the Stampede
And the other anarchists called her a hippie, because he stinks

Goobergunchia nice work but i dont think Genesis will work for the name of the first book sense its the same in the real bible

Double tetragrammaton, actually:

מהקס בארי

I sang a drunken sea shanty that was on an album called Tetragrammaton. Just thought I'd throw that in there, randomly.

And Superpower07 said unto his fellows "Bump"

Then the Goofball did grin, and said unto the masses; "You wouldn't believe what I did last night. Here's a hint, it involves a 5 gallon bucket of oatmeal, a croquet mallet and a stun gun." And there was much rejoicing.

And then, there were user initiated issues, and lo some truly were funny.
There were even rumors of easter egg issues on a forum : http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7133884#post7133884
Lo and behold, it was good and ready.

And the pirates said "Argh!" and went to bed

And thus, Japaica comes into being, and spams.

And thus, Japaica comes into being, and spams.
And thus with the spamming came the great purging. Threads wereth flooded of blasphemous talk, thus the M0ds doth destroy them. And so repeateth this cycle when cometh the presidential elections

Ummm guys, did we get Max Berry's blessing on this... I mean I hate to think that he'll bring down upon us the plagues or something because he didn't agree with what we wrote...

Ummm guys, did we get Max Berry's blessing on this... I mean I hate to think that he'll bring down upon us the plagues or something because he didn't agree with what we wrote...
And the Lord Max said, "It was good"

And then the mongrelized ones thee Camel Eaters if divine will wisheth it. Did get threatened with a forum ban for saying unto an annoying man. "THOU ART A DRY ASS-****!" And it was almost good for they who dwell with camels are not good.

and then there were Invaders, then came the evil defenders

And then there were the great wars that began. And them Acigoo descended upon these unsuspecting warring nations! And many did die a most horrilbe death before a space tech nation helped wipe it from the face of thee great and noble world.

And then Camel Eaters said unto Western Alabama and her allies we would destroy thou but we are not to hurt the mentally handicapped monkey boys! Let their be FRUITCUPS FOR ALL! and it was good So sayeth THE MODS!!!

And lo'! The servers did sucketh! So the mods declared that NS shall be moved, and they suckethed still!

Goobergunchia nice work but i dont think Genesis will work for the name of the first book sense its the same in the real bible

Genesis means "beginning". God didn't copyright it. -___-

Carry on.

Ummm guys, did we get Max Berry's blessing on this... I mean I hate to think that he'll bring down upon us the plagues or something because he didn't agree with what we wrote...

He certainly will if you keep spelling his name wrong.

Genesis means "beginning". God didn't copyright it. -___-

Carry on.

dident know that what language is it in know that i do it makes more sense

And thou Lord Smitted all those who spellethed his name wronth.

Then came the forum of the number 7. 7 is the number of the count; 1 more than 6, 1 less than 8. And so 7 was the number of the forum.

TAG

This is quite well.

The Gospel of Tex, Chapter 1, Verses 1-5

Verse 1: In the beginning was Max, and in the present is Max, and Max ever shall be, world without end.
Verse 2: Max envisioned the world, and so it came to pass.
Verse 3: Max began fooling around with it a bit, and finally saw that it was okay.
Verse 4: Max got rather lonely after a while, and desired the world to be filled with life, and so it came to pass.
Verse 5: Max saw that things were coming along nicely, so he patted himself on the back and rested for some time.

The Gospel of Tex, Chapter 1, Verses 6-10

Verse 6: Upon the completion of his rest, Max noticed that life on the world was a bit messy at times.
Verse 7: Max decided to bring holy janitors forth from the life that filled the world to clean the world, so that from the source of the messiness would come cleanliness.
Verse 8: Max called the holy janitors “Moderators” and loosed them upon the world.
Verse 9: Max saw that it was good, but that the Moderators did not have great enough powers to clean up some of the messes.
Verse 10: So it came to pass that Max brought forth ubër holy janitors, and called them “Administrators”.

Revelation

To the Churches of Max, I write to you the Apocolypse of Andropov given by LORD Max.

"Here, I stand before you, in all of my Glory, and present you this Revelation. Write! For the time is Near!"

"The forums have been in sin! They have fallen from the grace of me! They shall be punished, unless repentance is done! Repent!"

I was carried in the Spirit to the Main Terminal Centre, where Max sat in All His Glory, with Sal at his Right hand. Strange divine beings called "Game Moderators" stood by the Throne. Many beings surrounded the great Throne. These people were called "Moderators." They carried Max's will out, and they worshiped the great Max.

Then, the Great One held out an Encrypted Disk. "Who is worthy to open the disk?" He asked. No one could. I started to weep but an angel came to me.

"No! Do not fear. The Lion in the purple cloth of Max is worthy!" Then, a being named "violet" appeared. The Moderators bowed and praised the being.

"Praise thee who is worthy to open the encryption!"

There were seven different encryption codes on the disk. When the first one was cracked, a Game Moderator was heard shouting "Come!", and a man on a great white horse appeared. A crown was placed upon his head, and he set off as a conquerer. These are the n00bs, who shall dominate the world known as Nationstates.

The second code was cracked, and a GM shouted "Come!", and a rider with a blood red horse appeared. He was given a sword, and the right to kill one fourth of the planet. These are the Warmongers, sent to destroy the world.

The third code was cracked, and a GM shouted "Come!", and a rider on a black horse appeared. He was granted athourity over the server power. He could shut it off at any moment in time, to starve the people.

The fourth code was cracked, and a GM shouted "Come!", and a pale horse followed, with a pale rider. This was DEAT. He had power over one third of the world, to strike with inactivity, spam, or fire.

Then, a new technological breakthrough occured, and the other codes were cracked immediately. The power of the codes made people in the Server Control Room silent in shock for over seventy-two hours.


(more later)

dident know that what language is it in know that i do it makes more sense

Holy Jesus. Try some punctuation. I have no idea what you just said.

And then one day, The Users ate a fruit off the forbidden things, and the goat and tubgirl spammers arose.

The moderators crushed thy evil souls with a vengeance, yet thyGoat spammers and tubgirl spammers prevailed.

Then one day, came a goat and stubgirl spammer like no other. Michael Jackson 666 was thy name, thy MJ 666 was relentless, and attacked the poor citizens of Thy lords server like no other with images of horror and pain

Thy MJ666 was finnaly deated, and a ban placed upon thy IP, But thy Ban blocked others. The lord was dissatisfied

Thy lord pressed legal; action against thy evil Goat and tubgirl spammer by thy name of MJ666, and thy lord triumphed.

And thy Ban was withdrawn, and the world was safe for the moment from thy horrors of Goat and tubgirl.

Thy lord was happy

Holy Jesus. Try some punctuation. I have no idea what you just said.

yo when i wrote that i had had only about 2 or3 hours of sleep sense friday morning

translation

i did not know that, BTW what language is it from, now that i do know that it makes more sense

bloody murder i cant type worth a _-_-

And then the Most Geeky Church of the Server was formed, and the followers of it worshipped Max Barry as Lord of the Server. From that day forth the Forums of the Barcoded Eye had speakers that knew of the workings of computers. They worship at the Mass of Computers and fear not the Administrators and Moderators, for their IPs are many. And they had among them the great Techwizards as priests and the Hackers as defenders, and lived in peace. Then came the Verbal Smite of the Uninformed, and the followers of the Lord of the Server grew sad, for they knew their new fate was to be persecuted wherever they went.

Gospels of Superpower07:

Verse 1: In the beginning was Superpower07, who cameth to be in the region of East Pacific
Verse 2: And so greweth my nation, modeled after Libertarian ideals
Verse 3: Superpower07 discovereth the forums, built for our congregation
Verse 4: And there was much rejoicing, and Max said, "it was good"
Verse 5: However then cometh the flamers and trolls, and so it passed that we aquireth the STFU Shields and I.G.N.O.R.E. Cannons.
Verse 6: And so Superpower07 moved to his friend's region where there was much rejoicing
Verse 7: But then his region grew cold so departeh he for the NationStates Region

And thou Lord Smitted all those who spellethed his name wronth.

Then came the forum of the number 7. 7 is the number of the count; 1 more than 6, 1 less than 8. And so 7 was the number of the forum.

But the evil mods did spake and the forum numbered 7 was no more! And the people wept! And many of the people did join the Social Spam Alliance (http://www.myfreeib.com/members/?mforum=SSA).

And the other anarchists called her a hippie, because he stinks

But they hath to agree with his ways or they would be deateth, so they moderated themselves.

After reciving the FAQS... Max led the Players to the promised land of Jolt.

dident know that what language is it in know that i do it makes more sense

He's Yoda! :D

He's Yoda! :D

i dont get it BTW i dont watch much star wars