NationStates Jolt Archive

Letter from the Queen of England Received by New York Times 11/04/2004

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a Suitible President (yet again) and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths, and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85 percent of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed."

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save the Queen," but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up halfway through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15 percent of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby which is similar to American "football," but does not involve stopping for a rest every 20 seconds (or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2009.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% f you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys.

8. July 4 is no longer a public holiday. November 8 will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crook and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.
_______
I remembered this from last election. Thought I'd update it.

Is there a point to this thread?

You know, despite the "Queen" disagreeing with Bush's first election into the White House and you pointing out cultural flaws in America.

Is there a point to this thread?

You know, despite the "Queen" disagreeing with Bush's first election into the White House and you pointing out cultural flaws in America.
Dude!
Nobody else bump this thread for the love of god.

lol, i thought it was hilarious

lol, i thought it was hilarious
and they say Americans have a bad sense of humor...

If you are really serious, then I believe you are a pompous snob who should stick to all-English websites. :mad:

It is hilarious :)

It is hilarious :)
Don't take this the wrong way, but I EXPECTED you to say that.

a bad sense of humour?
maybe a little harsh there :)

and was pompous snob directed at me?

This is the funniest thing I've seen all night. Thank you. :p

I love both German and American cars. My two favorites are VW and Dodge. :D


(This is in reply to the line about cars)

I visit another forum whose members are mainly Australians and British, and as such I have begiun spelling color "Colour". A tiptoe at a time right?

I enjoyed it. Joke. It's a joke. Same as many other Brit ones about America have been and will continue to be in the future.

So thank you for the humor (or humour) :D

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths, and other territories?????

what a bunch of bull shit that is. i hope this is a joke. Bush is a good president, screw the Queen of England!

ohhh, i see, it IS a joke! :D

well still, screw the Queen of England!

ohhh, i see, it IS a joke! :D

well still, screw the Queen of England!



Ewww! I don't wanna screw an old lady, that's gross!!

well still, screw the Queen of England!
Rather you then me.

But I hear those German birds are dirty ;)

This was funny when it went round in 2000, when the election was completely screwed up, but that didn't happen this time.

How stupid. the queen would never say somthing like that. Stop winging. All politicians suck. they should be replaced by some sort of vegetable. it'd do a better job.

How stupid. the queen would never say somthing like that. Stop winging. All politicians suck. they should be replaced by some sort of vegetable. it'd do a better job.

I agree, but only if the vegetable looks like something funny.

I agree, but only if the vegetable looks like something funny.

I think you could easily find a potato that looks like John Kerry.

And I think this country was made for a monarchy.

I agree, but only if the vegetable looks like something funny.
You mean like a thingy shaped turnip?

Well I was sort of hoping for a turnip that looked like Harold Wilson, but I suppose.

Perhaps a potato shaped like an ass crack.

How stupid. the queen would never say somthing like that. Stop winging. All politicians suck. they should be replaced by some sort of vegetable. it'd do a better job.

"President Broccoli today announced that the tragedy of 9/11, the horrible attack upon the United Stalks of Ameripeas was masterminded by Al Qumquat's Leader Usama Bin Lettuce."

I Dunno, but it will make people hungry for the news. :D

Perhaps a potato shaped like an ass crack.

Well that's better than an ass crack shaped like a potato

*sings*

Blackadder, Blackadder

If you are really serious, then I believe you are a pompous snob who should stick to all-English websites. :mad:

If YOU are really serious, then I believe YOU are a pompous snob who should stick to all-American websites :(

How stupid. the queen would never say somthing like that.

Yes, this is Utopia.

I'm afraid USA must keep what they have now. :(

If YOU are really serious, then I believe YOU are a pompous snob who should stick to all-American websites :(

If you both believe that, then I believe you are BOTH pompous snobs who should stick to all-Pompous websites.

i just have 1 thing 2 ask u all......................... what the **** have u all been taking?!?!?!?! :confused:

But hey, it brightened up my day!!!

BTW, while this is off thread/topic, I kinda lost track... with the departure of the Queen Mum (Bless her soul), who is the Head of the Royal Family now?

Just Curious, and as a Yank living on the other side of the world, I really don't understand the fundimentals of Royalty.

BTW, while this is off thread/topic, I kinda lost track... with the departure of the Queen Mum (Bless her soul), who is the Head of the Royal Family now?

Just Curious, and as a Yank living on the other side of the world, I really don't understand the fundimentals of Royalty.

The Queen, just like when the queen mum was alive.

The Queen, just like when the queen mum was alive.

But Who is the Queen now? :confused:

But Who is the Queen now? :confused:

Queen Elizabeth II. Just like when the queen mum was alive.

Queen Elizabeth II. Just like when the queen mum was alive.

I thought it was Freddy Mercury. Just like when the queen mum was alive.

"President Broccoli today announced that the tragedy of 9/11, the horrible attack upon the United Stalks of Ameripeas was masterminded by Al Qumquat's Leader Usama Bin Lettuce."

I Dunno, but it will make people hungry for the news. :D

CNN-News you can eat! :D

I thought it was Freddy Mercury. Just like when the queen mum was alive.


Well the main point is that the queen mum is no longer alive. At least we can all agree on that. (I bet she's in cryo storage somewhere though.)

Queen Mum - term whose social tense I can't really recall (and never picked up seeing as I'm YADC (yet another dirty Cali)), but essentially comes out to read 'mother of the queen'.

And for those of you with malfunctioning common senses, generally a country's MONARCH (sovereign, head of state, whichever) is the head of its royal family, no matter what age or generation.

This even applies if the monarch is otherwise pre-age-of-reason or incapable of decision-making, though this results in crown regents which are FUNCTIONALLY in control, and horrible messes thereby.

That was a piece of literary genius. something that makes me proud to be Canadian. Good job on the vocabulary, becuz evrybady neads goud speeling. :p

Queen Elizabeth II. Just like when the queen mum was alive.

Ok, so will Charles become King? if so, when, or if not, who will be, if anyone?

Ok, so will Charles become King? if so, when, or if not, who will be, if anyone?

He becomes king when the queen dies. Unless the monarchy is abolished, or parliament passes an act deposing him and replacing him with someone else.

He becomes king when the queen dies. Unless the monarchy is abolished, or parliament passes an act deposing him and replacing him with someone else.


I don't think many want him to become King, if the Queen passes away. The consensus amongst my friends amongst others is that they would rather see Prince William on the throne. Not that it makes much difference anyways...

For some reason i was under the impression it was going to bypass him and go to his oldest son. But that could have just been rumor.

CNN-News you can eat! :D

VNN the Veggie News Network?

For some reason i was under the impression it was going to bypass him and go to his oldest son. But that could have just been rumor.


Yeah thats what most want, caus Charles' private life hasn't made him the most popular guy, plus he isn't seen as the most intelligent bloke around, but he seems alright, but i would rather have William on the throne...if he still wants it...then it would pass to Harry, and boy are we gonna have plenty of embarresing moments if he gets his hands on the crown...

:headbang:

Ok, I realize my mistake, I thought the Queen-Mum who passed away was the Queen herself... I mean she was Queen but she wasn't the Current Queen.

Soo sorry, my misunderstanding... :p

I don't think many want him to become King, if the Queen passes away. The consensus amongst my friends amongst others is that they would rather see Prince William on the throne. Not that it makes much difference anyways...

Well he could abdicate, then it would go to William. But it's automatically his unless parliament acts.

I have family in the UK. They all hate the royals, big time. It's funny to hear them talk about them. One of my cousins was upset because the queen mum died before the UK became a republic, so she never lived to see the royal family get deposed. (it's funnier when he says it because he gets all riled up.)

Well he could abdicate, then it would go to William. But it's automatically his unless parliament acts.

I have family in the UK. They all hate the royals, big time. It's funny to hear them talk about them. One of my cousins was upset because the queen mum died before the UK became a republic, so she never lived to see the royal family get deposed. (it's funnier when he says it because he gets all riled up.)

I thought the Royal family did not Govern it's people, do they have any power in Goverment?

I thought the Royal family did not Govern it's people, do they have any power in Goverment?

No but they sort of glom of the government. Basically they live like "kings" for want of a better term at the taxpayers expense.

Most brits don't feel like my family though. And actually I think the monarchy is still fairly popular. (Or the idea of it at least, if not the actual Royals themselves).

I'm sure if you start a thread about abolishing the monarchy you will get a million brits show up to defend the queen. Doubly so if you point out that you are an american. (Which should have told the Guardian something).

I thought the Royal family did not Govern it's people, do they have any power in Goverment?

nope, not really, i am pretty sure the queen still signs various bits of law, declarations of war etc, but if she said no then she would be thrown out, caus she would be not obeying the 'will' of the people

No but they sort of glom of the government. Basically they live like "kings" for want of a better term at the taxpayers expense.

Most brits don't feel like my family though. And actually I think the monarchy is still fairly popular. (Or the idea of it at least, if not the actual Royals themselves).

I'm sure if you start a thread about abolishing the monarchy you will get a million brits show up to defend the queen. Doubly so if you point out that you are an american. (Which should have told the Guardian something).

Truth be told, Some Americans will help defend the Royal family as well. After all, it is a part of England's culture. and the fact that they're still Knighting people is interesting... even to this American anyway.

Yeah thats what most want, caus Charles' private life hasn't made him the most popular guy, plus he isn't seen as the most intelligent bloke around, but he seems alright, but i would rather have William on the throne...if he still wants it...then it would pass to Harry, and boy are we gonna have plenty of embarresing moments if he gets his hands on the crown...
No William then his son, Hary would only be king if William dies leaving no Heir.

nope, not really, i am pretty sure the queen still signs various bits of law, declarations of war etc, but if she said no then she would be thrown out, caus she would be not obeying the 'will' of the people
Not completley true but it's too complicated to go into, but she does sign every bit of legislation, as the Gov act on her behalf.

Truth be told, Some Americans will help defend the Royal family as well. After all, it is a part of England's culture. and the fact that they're still Knighting people is interesting... even to this American anyway.

Parliament, more specifically the government in power, selects who gets knighted, not the queen. She just does the act.

No William then his son, Hary would only be king if William dies leaving no Heir.

i meant at the current time, and unless i missed a whole 9 months then william has no son :p :D

Sorry to cut and paste but I saw this in another thread and it addresses the Queen costs money issue:
Your monarchy gives your country a Queen who is:

an impartial symbolic Head of State above politics, commercial and factional interests

a focus for national unity, national awards and honours and national institutions
a Head of State whom we share with 16 other independent countries because she is their Queen too and that links us all together amazingly and most valuably.

the Head of the Commonwealth because all 54 countries recognise her as this and so she is a special unifying symbol for them too

the centrepiece of colourful non-political ceremonial and national celebrations
separate from the Head of Government (the Prime Minister), unlike in some countries where the two are combined, often with difficulty

able to give impartial non-political support to the work of a wide range of different types of organizations, faiths, charities, artists, craftsmen etc

a Head of State completely under the democratic control of Parliament but not having to change every few years in divisive elections

at the head of a Royal Family who can share the duties and represent the Queen

a constant, lasting symbolic head of the country with links back through our whole history and assured lines of continuity into the future

a worldwide well-known and respected symbol of our country carrying out State Visits and goodwill tours in other countries

An article on the cost of monarchy:

THE COST OF THE MONARCHY
Compares most favourably with costs of Heads of State elsewhere.

There are many misunderstandings about the cost of the monarchy, many of them perpetuated by republicans and journalists who deliberately give inaccurate information. For example, as to how many members of the royal family are receiving income from the Civil List. The following sets out to explain the facts and to equip members to challenge any inaccuracies which they see or hear in the media.

The Queen and her household has four sources of funding-the Civil List, Grant-in-aid, the Privy Purse and private income. The first two, which cover official expenditure, are not taxed. The Privy Purse is fully taxable subject to a deduction for official expenditure. The Queen pays tax on her personal income and capital gains. The Civil List is the sum provided by Parliament to meet the official expenses of the Queen as Head of State. About 70 per cent of Civil List expenditure goes to pay the salaries of staff working directly for the Queen. Their duties include dealing with state papers and organising the Queen's public engagements, meetings, receptions and official entertainment including royal garden parties. In other words the whole range of activities expected of the head of state, whether president or monarch.

The £132.9 million profit of the Crown Estate for the year ending March 31st, 2000 was paid to the Exchequer for the benefit of taxpayers. This sum far exceeds the total cost of the monarchy. The Queen's Civil List has been fixed at £9.7 million per annum until 2011. Full details of royal household expenditure are published. A summary of these follows. The annual cost of the monarchy is approximately £37 million.

Prince Philip is the only member of the royal family to receive an annuity from the Civil List of £359,000. The annuities of other members of the Royal Family who carry out engagements are provided by the Queen from the Privy Purse. The Revenue for this is obtained from the Duchy of Lancaster, an independent possession of the Sovereign since 1399. It is not included in the National Asset Register of government holdings published by the Treasury. The Prince of Wales derives his income on which he pays tax. The occupied royal palaces- principally Buckingham Palace, St. James's Palace, Clarence House, parts of Kensington Palace and Windsor Castle - are funded by grant-in-aid. Obviously they would be maintained by the state whether Britain were a monarchy or not. The unoccupied palaces such as the Tower of London and Hampton Court Palace are maintained from visitor admissions.

Royal transport, required to enable the royal family to carry out almost 3,000 engagements year is also funded by grant-in-aid. Of course official travel would have to be paid for if Britain were a republic.

Privately the Queen owns Balmoral and Sandringham and some smaller properties. Estimates of the Queen's wealth often mistakenly includes items which are held by the Queen as sovereign. These include the royal palaces and art collections. It is interesting to note that far from being Britain's wealthiest person the Queen is 105th on the Sunday Times 2001 Rich List!

In republics not only do presidents have to be supported financially, as do former presidents and widows, but their official duties have to be paid for and official and historic residences maintained. And there is the added expense of periodic elections. Republics show great reluctance in publishing the cost of the heads of state but the cost of the British monarchy compares extremely favourably.


Head of State Expenditure met from Public Funds
Year to 31st March 2003

Year to 31st March 2003 2002

£m £m
The Queen’s Civil List * 9.7 8.2
Parliamentary Annuities 0.4 1.0
Grants-in-aid 21.4 21.1
Expenditure met directly by Government Departments
and the Crown Estate 4.7 5.0
Total 36.2 35.3

Head of State expenditure is met from public funds in exchange for the surrender by The Queen of the revenue from the Crown Estate.
Head of State expenditure for 2002-03, at £36.2 million, is 2.5% higher than in the previous year (a decrease of 0.6% in real terms). The £0.9 million increase is mainly attributable to increased expenditure on the Property Services Grant-in-aid with a large building project (the refurbishment of Clarence House) undertaken during the year, expenditure on The Queen’s Golden Jubilee and increased Information Technology expenditure. This is offset by a reduction in Parliamentary Annuities following the death of Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother and reduced spending on ceremonial occasions since there were no State Visits during 2002-03.
Head of State expenditure has reduced from £87.3 million (expressed in current pounds) in 1991-92, a reduction of 59%.
Head of State expenditure excludes the costs of Police and Army security and of Armed Services ceremonial, as figures are not available.
Figures are for calendar years 2002 and 2001

The Queen's Civil List


Year to 31st December 2002 2001

£000 £000
9,759 8,153

The Civil List is the funding provided by Parliament, on a 10 yearly cycle, to meet the central staff costs and running expenses of Her Majesty’s official Household. 70% of the Civil List is spent on salaries and other employment costs. Civil List expenditure increased by 19.7% during 2002 as a result of the Golden Jubilee (£0.4 million mainly temporary staff )x, increased Information Technology expenditure (£0.2 million), inflationary increases and the full year impact of the transfer of expenditure to the Civil List from other funding sources (£0.5 million). This transfer was with effect from 1st April 2001, to utilise the Civil List reserve brought forward at the beginning of this 10 year funding period. Because the Civil List and the other
funding sources have different financial year ends, only nine months of this expenditure is charged to the Civil List in 2001 and the full impact seen in 2002. The expenditure transferred is principally in respect of: (a)
pension contributions for Civil List staff (from the Consolidated Fund), (b) porters and non-domestic cleaners at Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle, furnishings and the State Apartments at St. James’s Palace (from
the Property Services Grant-in-aid), and (c) information technology equipment (from the Cabinet Office).
A detailed annual report showing how the Civil List has been spent during 2002 is available from the Deputy Treasurer to The Queen, Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA.

Parliamentary Annuities

Year to 31st March 2003 2002

£000 £000
359 1,000

The Parliamentary Annuity was paid to The Duke of Edinburgh (and also Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother in 2001-02). The annuity was primarily to meet official expenses incurred in carrying out his public
duties. Parliamentary Annuities paid to other Members of the Royal Family are reimbursed by The Queen.

Grants-In-Aid

Year to 31st March 2003 2002

£000 £000
Property Services 16,627 15,522
Communications and Information 526 643
Travel by Air and Rai l 4,241 4,936
Total 21,394 21,101

Grants-in-aid are provided to the Royal Household annually by the Department for Culture, Media and Sport for Property Services and Communications and Information, and by the Department for Transport for Travel by Air and Rail.

Property Services

The Grant-in-aid is to meet the cost of property maintenance, and of utilities, telephones and related services, at: Buckingham Palace, St. James’s Palace, Clarence House and Marlborough House Mews, the residential and
office areas of Kensington Palace, the Royal Mews and Royal Paddocks at Hampton Court, and Windsor Castle and buildings in the Home and Great Parks at Windsor. These Palaces and buildings are used by The Queen in fulfilling the role and functions of Head of State, and also need to be maintained as important parts of the national heritage. Approximately 1,000 people work in them, with approximately 70,000 guests annually and 1.6 million paying visitors. The most significant project during 2002-03 was the refurbishment of Clarence House which is due for completion in summer 2003.
x Government Departments’ expenditure in support of the Golden Jubilee will be set out in “Her Majesty The Queen’s Golden Jubilee: Official Report” to be published by the Department for Culture, Media and Sport

Communications and Information
The Grant-in-aid is to meet the cost of communication and information services in connection with official royal functions and engagements in England and Scotland. Expenditure is incurred principally in respect of
press officer support for royal visits (at 99 locations during 2002-03) and the development and maintenance of the Royal Website (there were 60 million page references in 2002-03).

Royal Travel
The Grant-in-aid is to meet the cost of official royal travel by air and rail. It is an important part of The Queen’s role as Sovereign, supported by the Royal Family, to act as a focal point for national life and to bring
people together across all sectors of society. Approximately 2,300 official engagements were undertaken by Members of the Royal Family in 2002-03. These involved a significant amount of travel that needs to be undertaken in a way which meets efficiency, security and presentational requirements.
Detailed annual reports on how the Grants-in-aid have been spent are available from the Deputy Treasurer to The Queen, Buckingham Palace, London SW1A 1AA.

Expenditure Directly by Government Departments and the Crown Estate

Year to 31st March 2003 2002


£000 £000
Administration of honours 410 432
Equerries and orderlies 957 914
Maintenance of the Palace of Holyroodhouse 2,253 2,147
State Visits to and by The Queen and liaison
with the Diplomatic Corps 310 575
Ceremonial occasions 52 312
Maintenance of the Home Park at Windsor Castle 587 592
Notional pension contributions 43 45
Other 56 24
Total * 4,668 5,041



Administration of honours
This expenditure is to meet the cost of the Central Chancery of the Orders of Knighthood. It is responsible for administering and maintaining the records of the Orders of Chivalry, for organising the investitures at which the honours are presented by The Queen and for the distribution of the insignia.

Equerries and orderlies
Equerries and orderlies are seconded from the Armed Services to assist The Queen and other Members of the Royal Family in undertaking their official duties. Baggage transport is also charged to this heading.

Maintenance of the Palace of Holyroodhouse
The Palace of Holyroodhouse is The Queen’s official residence in Scotland. Members of the Royal Family stay there for several weeks during the year, while undertaking official duties. The Palace is also open to the public with 232,000 paying visitors in 2002-03. The Queen opened the new Queen’s Gallery on 30th November 2002 which attracted 28,000 paying visitors in 2002-03.
• Figures not audited

State Visits to and by The Queen and liaison with the Diplomatic Corps
During 2002-03 The Queen made a Royal Visit to Canada. In 2001-02 there were two outward State/Royal Visits and two inward State Visits. The Marshal of the Diplomatic Corps is responsible for liaison with the
Diplomatic Corps in London. An annual reception for the Diplomatic Corps is held at Buckingham Palace or Windsor Castle.

Ceremonial occasions
The costs are to provide stands, barriers, flags, daises and canopies for State Visits and other ceremonial occasions. The decrease in expenditure reflects the fact that there were no inward State Visits in 2002-03 and two in 2001-02.

Maintenance of the Home Park at Windsor Castle
The Crown Estate is responsible for the maintenance of the Home Park at Windsor Castle and for its day-today security. The Home Park provides accommodation and sports grounds for staff. Part of it is farmed with
rent payable by the Privy Purse to the Crown Estate.

Costs Funded From Other Sources

Duchy of Lancaster
Income from the Duchy of Lancaster, which is subject to tax in the normal way, funds the Privy Purse. It is The Queen’s private income although largely used by Her Majesty to meet official expenditure, in particular
reimbursing Parliamentary Annuities and meeting expenses of other Members of the Royal Family. The Privy Purse also pays for the upkeep of Balmoral, The Queen’s estate in Scotland. Accounts for the Duchy of
Lancaster are published and laid before Parliament annually.

Duchy of Cornwall
Income from the Duchy of Cornwall, which is also subject to tax in the normal way, funds the official duties of The Prince of Wales. Accounts for the Duchy of Cornwall are published and laid before Parliament annually.

The Royal Collection
The Royal Collection consists of works of art of all kinds and is held by The Queen as Sovereign in trust for her successors and for the nation. All costs, except for some building occupancy costs, are met by the Royal
Collection Trust from visitor admissions to the occupied palaces and from related activities. Five million people saw the Royal Collection in royal palaces during 2002-03. In addition over 1,300 items were loaned
to special exhibitions or formed part of the Royal Collection’s own travelling exhibitions. During 2002-03 £872,000 was spent on conserving items from the Collection and £2.1 million on new galleries, in which
works of art from the Collection are displayed to the public. The Royal Collection receives no funding from the Government or the National Lottery.

Few Quotations in Support of Monarchy:

I devote all my attentions to improving the welfare of my subjects, since I wish to save my soul and go to Heaven.
King Charles III of Spain, 1750.
If a nation does not want a monarchy, change the nation’s mind. If a nation does not need a monarchy, change the nation’s needs.
Jan Christian Smuts, Prime Minister of South Africa 1939-1948.

I am a true servant of my King and country, not only as a dutiful subject but because I am a convinced monarchist, politically and intellectually. I mean by that, quite apart from myself and my relationship to my Bavarian and German fatherland, I believe monarchy to be the most successful form of government that the history of mankind has known.
Adolf von Harnier, on trial for treason, Germany 1938.

If the Allies at the peace table at Versailles had allowed a Hohenzollern, a Wittelsbach and a Habsburg to return to their thrones, there would have been no Hitler. A democratic basis of society might have been preserved by a crowned Weimar in contact with the victorious Allies.”
Winston Churchill, 26th April 1946.

In Italy they are already speaking about a republic, but keep in mind that there is nothing less suited to Italians...... The Italians are individualists and a republic will become the cause of confusion and disorder. Certainly of corruption. I have no doubt of it. When all this comes to pass who will profit from it?
King Victor Emmanuel III of Italy, 10th April 1944.

Remember that life is made up of loyalty: loyalty to your friends; loyalty to things beautiful and good; loyalty to the country in which you live; loyalty to your King; and above all, for this holds all other loyalties together, loyalty to God.
Queen Mary, Buckingham Palace, 23rd March 1923.

Politicians debating the future of our monarchy resemble a poachers’ convention deliberating on the future role of the gamekeeper.
Malcolm Winram, The Times, 9th March 1996.

(King George VI) represented, for us, a model of character and deportment for those in high places. Our respect for him as an inspirational force was equalled by our affection for him as a gentle human being.
General Dwight D Eisenhower, 7th February 1952.

Impartiality and continuity are important aspects of government, and it is doubtful whether any form of democratic government yet discovered provides these to any greater extent than does constitutional monarchy
Sydney D Bailey, British Parliamentary Democracy, Harrap, 1959.

This war would never have come unless, under American and modernising pressure, we had driven the Habsburgs out of Austria and the Hohenzollerns out of Germany. By making these vacuums we gave the opening for the Hitlerite monster to crawl out of its sewer on to the vacant thrones. No doubt these views are very unfashionable....
Winston Churchill, 8th April 1945.

The public are sick and tired of politics, they are sick and tired of the machinations of elected office in a media age, and I think it’s quite good having a Head of State that’s completely to one side of that.
Simon Upton, New Zealand Environment Minister, March 1994.

I notice that the constitutional monarchies are the most democratic countries of Europe. I can’t understand how there could be any debate about it.
Jack Lang, French Minister of Culture, October 1993.

If constitutional monarchy were to come to an end in Britain, parliamentary democracy would probably not survive it. It is, after all, through the monarchy that parliamentary control over the armed forces is mediated and maintained.
Conor Cruise O’Brien, The Independent, 25th June 1993.

I am personally still convinced that there are safeguards in the constitutional monarchy that an elected head of state just would not possess.
Roger Stott MP, The Independent on Sunday, 7th September 1997.

The Prince of Wales, as so often, has demonstrated his common sense in the words he spoke on Wednesday (during his visit to southern Africa). His demeanour is a perfect illustration of the benefits of a constitutional monarchy. In the heat of euphoria, in the midst of all the blather about a “new” this and a “new” that, his is a message of modernisation and wisdom. We would do well to heed it.”
Kwasi Kwarteng, The Daily Telegraph, 31st October 1997.

Anyone who fears that by becoming a republic we would condemn ourselves to a presidency held by a perpetual succession of superannuated politicians - at the moment presumably a choice between Heath, Kinnock, Thatcher and Major - is an optimist.

The alternative nightmare scenario looks not to the European model but to the American, where the essentials for election to the presidency appear to be ruthless ambition, access to vast wealth, reckless promises of patronage and preferment, effective control of a big slice of the media and a plausible TV manner.

We don’t know when we are well off.
Gordon Medcalf, The Independent, 10th September 1997.

The Queen Mother is one who knows how to be Queen, how to preserve mystery and yet be accessible, one who knows how to epitomise the higher aspirations of a people, yet retain both humanity and humour.
Sir Roy Strong, January 1998.

I write by the light of two eternal truths: religion and monarchy, those twin essentials affirmed by contemporary events, and towards which every intelligent author should seek to direct our country.
Honore de Balzac, 1842.

Monarchy is the one system of government where power is exercised for the good of all.
Aristotle, 322-384 BC.

Being a nation of hypocrites, we have for years looked to the Royal Family to embody the values we’re not prepared to embody ourselves.
Serena Mackesy, The Independent, 10th December 1996.

The Queen’s appearances abroad do more in a day to gain goodwill for Britain than all the politicians and diplomats lumped together could achieve in years.
Sir Alec Douglas-Home (Prime Minister 1963-64).

Why has destiny willed the downfall of this Sovereign? He is endowed with every kingly quality; he is courageous, generous, and magnanimous; he has a fine intellect and a well-balanced mind; and his name bears the tradition of a thousand years of history. Who better than he to symbolise the unity of the country, and act as supreme moderator in party strife?
Aldo Castellani, Physician to Umberto II of Italy, June 1946.

The Tarquins, meanwhile, had taken refuge at the court of Lars Porsena, the King of Clusium. By every means in their power they tried to win his support, now begging him not to allow fellow Etruscans, men of the same blood as himself, to continue living in penniless exile, now warning him of the dangerous consequences of letting republicanism go unavenged. The expulsion of kings they urged, once it had begun, might well become common practice; liberty was an attractive idea, and unless reigning monarchs defended their thrones as vigorously as states now seemed to be trying to destroy them, all order and subordination would collapse; nothing would be left in any country but flat equality; greatness and eminence would be gone for ever. Monarchy, the noblest thing in heaven or on earth, was nearing its end.
Livy, The History of Rome from its Foundation, Book II.

Those who imagine that a politician would make a better figurehead than a hereditary monarch might perhaps make the acquaintance of more politicians.
Baroness Thatcher, November 1995.

Canadians should realise when they are well off under the Monarchy. For the vast majority of Canadians, being a Monarchy is probably the only form of government acceptable to them. I have always been for parliamentary democracy and I think the institution of Monarchy with the Queen heading it all has served Canada well.
Pierre Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, 1973.

If to be a Republican is to hold, as a matter of theory at least, that is the best government for a free and intelligent people in which merit is to be preferred to birth, then I hold it an honour to be associated with nearly all the greatest thinkers of the country and to be a Republican. But if a Republican is one who would thrust aside the opinion and affront the sentiment of a huge majority of the nation, merely to carry to a logical conclusion an abstract theory, then I am far from being a Republican as any man can be.
Rt Hon Joseph Chamberlain (1836-1914) in 1875.

The State functions more easily if it can be personified. An elected President who has stepped out of politics, like the French President, is no substitute for a King who has stepped in by right of inheritance. Still less is an active politician, like the President of the United States, a substitute. We can damn the Government and cheer the King.
W Ivor Jennings, The British Constitution, 1943.

Modern monarchs neither have nor need executive power. Integrity and continuity are their stock in trade. These qualities are becoming more precious when European political parties, many of them in power for a decade or more, are increasingly judged arrogant or corrupt or both. Politicians could with profit learn not to treat modesty as merely a royal prerogative.
Editorial, The Times, 2nd August 1993.

To be a King is dedication, patience and moderation, self-denial, statesmanship, national unity and, above all, having faith in one’s people.
HM King Simeon II of the Bulgarians, October 1968.

The monarchy is a political referee, not a political player, and there is a lot of sense in choosing the referee by a different principle from the players. It lessens the danger that the referee might try to start playing.
Earl Russell, The Spectator, 11th January 1997.

Monarchy is first proved to be the true and rightful form of government. Men’s objects are best attained during universal peace: this is possible only under a monarch. And as he is the image of the divine unity, so man is through him made one, and brought most near to God. There must, in every system of forces, be a ‘primum mobile’; to be perfect, every organisation must have a centre, into which all is gathered, by which all is controlled. Justice is best secured by a supreme arbiter of disputes, himself untempted by ambition, since his dominion is already bounded only by ocean. Man is best and happiest when he is most free; to be free is to exist for one’s own sake. To this noblest end does the monarch and he alone guide us; other forms of government are perverted, and exist for the benefit of some class; he seeks the good of all alike, being to that very end appointed.
James Bryce’s summary of Dante’s De Monarchia.

I think it is a misconception to imagine that the monarchy exists in the interests of the monarch. It doesn’t. It exists in the interests of the people.
HRH Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, 1969.

The fact that the Monarchy can unify in this way - can comfort and exhilarate and embrace - remains, as Cameron (James Cameron, republican journalist) put it, its great ‘gesture to all the forces of logic’, the power before which the neat rationality of republicanism wilts.
Robert Harris, Mail on Sunday, 7th September 1997.

For any country it is better to have a monarch than an elected president of the republic ..... monarchies provide the continuity of states, while prime ministers come and go. Elections are all very well for the designation of the prime minister or of the party which should take power, but not for the Head of State, who should be above party.

(Unlike a president) in all probability the monarch who succeeds to the throne has been trained for this exalted post by having spent many years by the side of his predecessor.

A monarch, however, cannot declare that he is ready to throw in his hand. The personal conveniences of sovereigns are of little importance. What is important is that Great Britain needs them.
George Brown (Foreign Secretary in the Wilson government), Daily Mail, November 1969.

Monarchy can easily be debunked, but watch the faces, mark well the debunkers. These are the men whose taproot in Eden has been cut: whom no rumour of the polyphony, the dance, can reach - men to whom pebbles laid in a row are more beautiful than an arch. Yet even if they desire mere equality they cannot reach it. Where men are forbidden to honour a king they honour millionaires, athletes or film stars instead: even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison.
C S Lewis.

The Royal tour (of South Africa) gives reassurance that when it comes to flying the flag nobody does it quite as well as the Queen.
The Guardian, 22nd March 1995.

A priest who is not a monarchist is not worthy to stand at the altar table. The priest who is a republican is always a man of poor faith. God himself anoints the monarch to be head of the kingdom, while the president is elected by the pride of the people. The king stays in power by implementing God’s commandments, while the president does so by pleasing those who rule. The king brings his faithful subjects to God, while the president takes them away from God.
Neomartyr Vladimir, Metropolitan of Kiev, tortured and killed by Bolsheviks on 7th February 1918.

The Queen was helpful, lively, fascinating to talk to, and very, very funny. The idea that she is out of touch is nonsense. Robert Wraith, painter of Her Majesty’s portrait, May 1998.

The monarchical principle is laughed at by vulgar and foolish people in all the suburbs of Europe. It is hated in all the gutters of the world. The reason is simple. It enshrines with a fitting dignity and elaboration the principle of authority as something independent of this or that politician. It places it above attack. It symbolises and consecrates an attitude of mind essential to the happiness of peoples.
D’Alvarez, Storm Over Europe, by Douglas Jerrold (1930), Chapter XII.

The British love their Queen, their Queen Mother, Prince Charles, and the comforting security of their hereditary constitutional monarchy, an institution of which the characters are beyond the manipulation of man, an institution guaranteeing continuity, overriding the dissensions of politics. The best governments are constitutional monarchies, and we may yet see some restored in eastern Europe.
Lord Menuhin, The Daily Telegraph, 2nd July 1998.

In republicks there is not a respect for authority, but a fear of power.
Dr Samuel Johnson (Boswell’s Life, p 464).

The best reason why Monarchy is a strong government is that it is an intelligible government. The mass of mankind understand it, and they hardly anywhere in the world understand any other.
Walter Bagehot, The English Constitution, 1867.

I think the family has got to streamline itself but the core members have a brand personality that a business would die for. You might say they’re the brand identity of Britain: ask any American what they’d give to have a Royal Family.
Jack Stevens, advertising agent, The Independent, 30th June 1998.

Above the ebb and flow of party strife, the rise and fall of ministries, and individuals, the changes of public opinion or public fortune, the British Monarchy presides, ancient, calm and supreme within its function, over all the treasures that have been saved from the past and all the glories we write in the annals of our country.
Sir Winston Churchill.

To be a king and wear a crown is more glorious to them that see it than it is a pleasure to them that bear it.
Queen Elizabeth I.

Parliaments and Ministers pass, but she abides in lifelong duty, and she is to them as the oak in the forest is to the annual harvest in the field.
William Gladstone, writing about Queen Victoria.

Russia under Nicholas II, with all the survivals of feudalism, had opposition political parties, independent trade unions and newspapers, a rather radical parliament and a modern legal system. Its agriculture was on the level of the USA, with industry rapidly approaching the West European level.

In the USSR there was total tyranny, no political liberties and practically no human rights. Its economy was not viable; agriculture was destroyed. The terror against the population reached a scope unprecedented in history.

No wonder many Russians look back at Tsarist Russia as a paradise lost.
Oleg Gordievsky, letter to The Independent, 21st July 1998.

Americans also seem to believe that the monarchy is a kind of mediaeval hangover, encumbered by premodern notions of decorum; the reality is that the British monarchy, for good or ill, is a modern political institution - perhaps the first modern political institution.
Adam Gopnik, The New Yorker, September 29th 1997.

There is nothing about which I am more anxious than my country, and for its sake I am willing to die ten deaths, if that be possible.
Queen Elizabeth I, in 1564.

Parliamentary monarchy fulfils a role which an elected president never can. It formally limits the politicians’ thirst for power because with it the supreme office of the state is occupied once and for all.
Max Weber, German economist.

Anyone who has walked through the deserted Palaces of Versailles or Vienna realise how much a part of the life of a nation is lost when a monarchy is abolished. If Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle were transformed into museums, if one politician competed against another for the position of President of the Republic, Britain would be a sadder and less interesting place. Our politicians are not men such as could challenge more than a thousand years of history!
William Rees-Mogg, former Editor of The Times.

[A] king is a king, not because he is rich and powerful, not because he is a successful politician, not because he belongs to a particular creed or to a national group. He is King because he is born. And in choosing to leave the selection of their head of state to this most common denominator in the world - the accident of birth - Canadians implicitly proclaim their faith in human equality; their hope for the triumph of nature over political manoeuvre, over social and financial interest; for the victory of the human person.
Jacques Monet, Canadian historian.

It is helpful when the personality of the head of state is not disputed or contested periodically. The monarch is the incarnation of popular hope and the repository of national legitimacy.
Henri, Comte de Paris (1908-1999).

Have a care over my people. You have my people - do you that which I ought to do. They are my people. Every man oppresseth and spoileth them without mercy. They cannot revenge their quarrel, nor help themselves. See unto them - see unto them, for they are my charge. I charge you, even as God hath charged me. I care not for myself; my life is not dear to me. My care is for my people. I pray God, whoever succeedeth me, be as careful of them as I am.”
Queen Elizabeth I, addressing her judges, 1559.

No practising politician could possibly hope to be more deeply and widely informed about domestic, Commonwealth and international affairs than The Queen. She has sources of information available to nobody else.
James Callaghan, British Prime Minister 1976-79.

Not to be a republican at 20 shows lack of heart. To be one at 30 shows lack of head.
Francois Guizot, French statesman 1787-1874.

The hereditary head of state is like the senior member of a larger household, representing the national family and its ancestral inheritance while standing above its internal disputes and intervening only if a major emergency threatens its survival.
Wade Smith, letter to The Daily Telegraph, 16th November 1999.

The value of a constitutional monarchy is to provide a figurehead to embody a sense of nationhood beyond the divisions of temporal political argument. Republicans, who choose to give the impression that the British enjoy as much power as French peasants in the reign of Louis XVI, believe that in a democracy just about everything that moves has to be elected. This callow approach would result in a polarised and unpleasant society, of which the prime example is the United States.
Melanie Phillips, The Sunday Times, 7th November 1999.

Most Australians - contrary to what is constantly claimed - are not yet republicans. The Queen, touring the country with dignity at this slightly touchy time, says that she sees herself as the servant of the Australian Constitution and of the people. It is fair to suggest that many of Australia’s republican leaders do not quite see themselves as so answerable.
Geoffrey Blainey, The Age, March 2000.

I had been told the Queen is not interested in anything political and speaks only on social issues. On the contrary, the Queen is very well informed on a number of international issues and on security matters.
Vladimir Putin, Russian president-elect, 18th April 2000.

Q is for the Queen who, in half a century, hasn’t put a foot wrong once. Her accumulated wisdom is extraordinary. Her charm is infinite. She is duty personified.
The Duke of Devonshire, The Sunday Telegraph, 23rd April 2000.

All of us who come here [to the UK] do so because the notion of Britishness is far more than merely ethnic - or at least we think it is. You may not go on about it as much as Americans do, but you also have a set of ideas attached to your national identity, and we admire them. We most admire, in fact, those bits of your national identity which you seem most keen on discarding: not just boring old political liberty and economic freedom, which we could get in America or lots of other places, but history, tradition, centuries of stability, tolerance of eccentricity, cars which drive on the wrong side of the road, flat green lawns and, above all, a Queen, together with her Heirs and Successors. After spending the first part of my life being a mere citizen, I am delighted to find myself a subject as well.
Anne Applebaum (on becoming a British subject), The Spectator, 6th May 2000.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t think I really came to appreciate what royalty meant to you Brits until I came to Wimbledon, with all its pomp and circumstance. It is tradition, it is such an important factor here and you start thinking it’s not bad when you see the effect it has on people. I suppose the monarchy is a bit like grass at Wimbledon. How long will it last? My guess is that they will both go on for many, many years to come.
John McEnroe, The Sunday Telegraph, 2nd July 2000.

I have previously observed that British republicans seem to have a blind spot about the family: they do not grasp that the Royal Family touches some chord in most of us linked with family feeling. Even as an Irishwoman, I feel a warm sense of maternal protectiveness when I pass Buckingham Palace and see the Royal Standard flying. The Queen is at home, and a benign matriarchal wisdom prevails over the land.
Mary Kenny, The Daily Telegraph, 1st July 2000.

(Kaiser Franz Josef) was especially noted for his exceptional attitude to Jewish soldiers serving in the Austrian army, concerning himself over the availability of kosher food of the highest standard, assuring them of access to the necessary religious articles and ensuring unhindered Sabbath observance. .... Many of the world’s Jews referred to him as “The King of Jerusalem.”
Menachem Gerlitz, The Heavenly City p.210, published 1979.

They tell us that all Kings are bad; that God never made a King; and that all Kings are very expensive. But, that all Kings are bad cannot be true: because God himself is one of them; he calls himself King of Kings; which not only shows us he is a King, but he has other Kings under him: he is never called King of Republics. The Scripture calls Kings, the Lord’s Anointed; but who ever heard of an anointed Republic?
Association Papers, London, 1793.

Britain’s constitutional monarchy is one of its greatest strengths as well as one of its greatest attractions. The monarch is detached from party politics in a way no president could be. For years, the existence of a monarchy was the guarantee that no would-be dictator could stage a coup by deploying troops, as the monarch controls the armed services. No latter-day Cromwell could win power by force. We have had no civil war since Cromwell’s and much of that is due to having had a constitutional monarchy as a focus of loyalty.
Ann Widdecombe MP, BBC History Magazine, September 2000.

(Europe’s monarchs are) all there to listen to the voice of the people and, without influencing politics, to protect the nation. Their example gives some credibility to those who think that restoration of King Michael of Romania might help heal recent wounds. Does the monarchy have a future? It’s a very definite reality in today’s Europe, and without it Europe would be a very different place.
Jean-Yves Masson, Eurostar Magazine, Autumn

Sorry to cut and paste but I saw this in another thread and it addresses the Queen costs money issue:
Your monarchy gives your country a Queen who is:


- snip because it's lengthy -



Well that's as may be, but my family over there still hate the royal family because they are, amongst other things, idle bastards or something.

I think they wouldn't mind paying more for a president, they just want an elected not a hereditary head of state. I also know that they are in the minority. Mind you they are all Geordies, so maybe that explains it.

Haha, old, but funny :D

Well that's as may be, but my family over there still hate the royal family because they are, amongst other things, idle bastards or something.

I think they wouldn't mind paying more for a president, they just want an elected not a hereditary head of state. I also know that they are in the minority. Mind you they are all Geordies, so maybe that explains it.


hmmmm, me thinks idle is pushing it, i grant you i don't like the aristocracy, caus they do precisely feck all for anyone, but the main family do a hell of a lot of work for charity etc and the amount of money they bring in from tourism is great...to be honest, it would be far more entertaining for them to have loads of kids each generation the we have a 'Royal Idol' like compotition to choose our monarch...now that would be amusing... :D

hmmmm, me thinks idle is pushing it, i grant you i don't like the aristocracy, caus they do precisely feck all for anyone, but the main family do a hell of a lot of work for charity etc and the amount of money they bring in from tourism is great...to be honest, it would be far more entertaining for them to have loads of kids each generation the we have a 'Royal Idol' like compotition to choose our monarch...now that would be amusing... :D

As a yank, I have no official position on the matter. Hey whatever tickles the pickle. And it's not like the queen has any real power or anything. I do worry about the lack of consitutional safeguards in the UK, but brits seem happy with it, so, whatever.

Privately I will say that the royal family provide excellent fodder for the U.S. tabloids.

Privately I will say that the royal family provide excellent fodder for the U.S. tabloids.

To be fair, the British tabloids also targets them alot... or so this yank hears.

As a yank, I have no official position on the matter. Hey whatever tickles the pickle. And it's not like the queen has any real power or anything. I do worry about the lack of consitutional safeguards in the UK, but brits seem happy with it, so, whatever.

Privately I will say that the royal family provide excellent fodder for the U.S. tabloids.

And the british ones too, its all fun and games :D

yeah, the lack of constitution where everything is set out is a little of a worry, as the law leaves a lot open to interpretation, that said so does the 2nd Amendment....but lets not get started on that shall we :D

The original post is hilarious. For some reason (even if it talks about attacking 'Quebec') it reminded me of Kids in the Hall... I know... don't actually post to ask WHY please.

Anyway... this should be in a paper for real, at least in the back with the cartoons.

The original post is hilarious. For some reason (even if it talks about attacking 'Quebec') it reminded me of Kids in the Hall... I know... don't actually post to ask WHY please.

Anyway... this should be in a paper for real, at least in the back with the cartoons.

I remember that skit... Laughed my ass off...

And the british ones too, its all fun and games :D

yeah, the lack of constitution where everything is set out is a little of a worry, as the law leaves a lot open to interpretation, that said so does the 2nd Amendment....but lets not get started on that shall we :D

Having family in northern maine, no it is probably not a good idea to get started on the 2nd ammendment. I suspect our views on that are poles apart.

But still, the lack of a written constitution in the UK has always puzzled me a bit. Look how much the US has changed politically in just twelve years. And that has been a long slog what with our seperation of powers, staggered elections gerrymandering and incumbency rate. Makes you think.

stupid :mad:

Having family in northern maine, no it is probably not a good idea to get started on the 2nd ammendment. I suspect our views on that are poles apart.

But still, the lack of a written constitution in the UK has always puzzled me a bit. Look how much the US has changed politically in just twelve years. And that has been a long slog what with our seperation of powers, staggered elections gerrymandering and incumbency rate. Makes you think.


Northern Maine, cool you anywhere near Sunday River ski resort? went there once, the skiing rocks :D

Well, i always like the fact we don't have one, as it means we can change our ideals more easily etc etc, althought there are advantages and disadvantages with both so....

Northern Maine, cool you anywhere near Sunday River ski resort? went there once, the skiing rocks :D

Well, i always like the fact we don't have one, as it means we can change our ideals more easily etc etc, althought there are advantages and disadvantages with both so....

Actually the family lives up on Moosehead lake. The ski resort there (Squaw) is small and constantly on the verge of bankruptcy. I live in NYC now.

It's weird though up there now. Since 9/11 a lot more people want to vaction in the US, so the place gets super overun in the summer (a lot more than it used to). I don't like the fact that it is a lot more touristy than fifteen years ago. :mad:

Actually the family lives up on Moosehead lake. The ski resort there (Squaw) is small and constantly on the verge of bankruptcy. I live in NYC now.

It's weird though up there now. Since 9/11 a lot more people want to vaction in the US, so the place gets super overun in the summer (a lot more than it used to). I don't like the fact that it is a lot more touristy than fifteen years ago. :mad:


yeah, since 9/11 when i go abroad, there are far fewer americans where i go, there used to be loads, but its kinda understandable i suppose, still, as time goes by, more and more are coming over again so it'll return to normal sooner or later.

yeah, since 9/11 when i go abroad, there are far fewer americans where i go, there used to be loads, but its kinda understandable i suppose, still, as time goes by, more and more are coming over again so it'll return to normal sooner or later.

Well that's what we hoped. But it seems like it's been "discovered" now, so people just keep on coming. Oh well, I can hope.

I do think americans are starting to travel abroad more again though. I was in the UK several times this summer, and the flights were packed.

I must relocate to the U.K. immediately. My intelligence is being leeched out the longer I stay in my native country.....

Well that's what we hoped. But it seems like it's been "discovered" now, so people just keep on coming. Oh well, I can hope.

I do think americans are starting to travel abroad more again though. I was in the UK several times this summer, and the flights were packed.

You like it over here, i know both countries have a fair bit in common but there are loads of differences too. You find we lived up to our stereotypes? :D

I visit another forum whose members are mainly Australians and British, and as such I have begiun spelling color "Colour". A tiptoe at a time right?

First of all, I found it quite funny. For those of you who view Europeans as pompous snobs simply because they poke fun, please leave this forum - as you undoubtedly know, things like this happen all the time.

Secondly, I've talked to so many Aussies that my English is generally UK English, although it's getting me in trouble at school - in English, my teacher counts me wrong for the alternate spellings of the words.

I must relocate to the U.K. immediately. My intelligence is being leeched out the longer I stay in my native country.....

Don't worry, there are stupid people here too, i occasionally fall into that catagory with my actions but the less said about that the better ;) :D

Don't worry, there are stupid people here too, i occasionally fall into that catagory with my actions but the less said about that the better ;) :D


I realize this. It's just that I read some of these posts and I think, what a clever joke.....Then I suddenly realize that they were serious and I can't believe I haven't renounced my citizenship.

You like it over here, i know both countries have a fair bit in common but there are loads of differences too. You find we lived up to our stereotypes? :D

Well as I said I've got English family so I've spent quite a bit of time over there. I even lived there for a while, so I know where the stereotypes end and the reality begins. Yeah I like. Newcastle is my home away from home, and I love Northumberland and the Lakes.

I've got a friend over here who grew up with the same thing, except his relatives are based in liverpool. We constantly fight over which city kicks more ass. I say geordies hands down. :)

First of all, I found it quite funny. For those of you who view Europeans as pompous snobs simply because they poke fun, please leave this forum - as you undoubtedly know, things like this happen all the time.

Secondly, I've talked to so many Aussies that my English is generally UK English, although it's getting me in trouble at school - in English, my teacher counts me wrong for the alternate spellings of the words.

Hey, I LOVE British Humour. Give me Monty Python, and Benny Hill over Seinfeild and Friends anyday.

and I view Europeans as Pompous Snobs like how Europeans View Americans and Uncultured and Uncivilized.

Basically, as a overblown sterotype. not to be taken seriously and friendly jabs between friends.

Well as I said I've got English family so I've spent quite a bit of time over there. I even lived there for a while, so I know where the stereotypes end and the reality begins. Yeah I like. Newcastle is my home away from home, and I love Northumberland and the Lakes.

I've got a friend over here who grew up with the same thing, except his relatives are based in liverpool. We constantly fight over which city kicks more ass. I say geordies hands down. :)


Manchester rocks above all other cities ;) The lakes are really nice, i go there fairly often when i am at home as we have friends near windemere.its nice to meet someone who actually has been here and knows us beyond the stereotypes on tv, like when i went to the states, its always good to go talk to people rather than follow the tourist route as you get to know a little more about the place than just seeing the sights...

Manchester rocks above all other cities ;) The lakes are really nice, i go there fairly often when i am at home as we have friends near windemere.its nice to meet someone who actually has been here and knows us beyond the stereotypes on tv, like when i went to the states, its always good to go talk to people rather than follow the tourist route as you get to know a little more about the place than just seeing the sights...

Yeah, a lot of yanks see everyone in england as like people on the BBC news or eastenders. What they don't realize with nearly 60,000 people there is actually a hell of a lot of regional variation, even though it's a small country land area wise.

I mean just look at the difference between a geordie and a shandy drinker from london.

But if there is one thing everyone in England can agree on, it's that they all hate the maccams from sunderland. Those people are just weird.

I visit another forum whose members are mainly Australians and British, and as such I have begiun spelling color "Colour". A tiptoe at a time right?
Well that is the correct spelling of colour. :D

Shall we move forward with other words that need to be learned, such as neighbour, labour, and favourite? :cool:

Yeah, a lot of yanks see everyone in england as like people on the BBC news or eastenders. What they don't realize with nearly 60,000 people there is actually a hell of a lot of regional variation, even though it's a small country land area wise.

I mean just look at the difference between a geordie and a shandy drinker from london.

But if there is one thing everyone in England can agree on, it's that they all hate the maccams from sunderland. Those people are just weird.


Yes, a yank who insults southerners and maccams!!!! :D This is too good to be true!!! :D I think you mean 60,000,000 people tho, i mean we don't all go to old trafford every weekend (Man Utds ground holds over 60,000 if i remember right)

Yeah, a lot of yanks see everyone in england as like people on the BBC news or eastenders. What they don't realize with nearly 60,000 people there is actually a hell of a lot of regional variation, even though it's a small country land area wise.

I mean just look at the difference between a geordie and a shandy drinker from london.

But if there is one thing everyone in England can agree on, it's that they all hate the maccams from sunderland. Those people are just weird.

While I have absolutely no idea what you just said about whomever it was... I kinda agree with the first part. Many a times people ask if we still live in Grass Shacks and Surf all day.

Letter from the Queen of England Received by New York Times 11/04/2004

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a Suitible President (yet again) and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths, and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85 percent of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed."

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save the Queen," but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up halfway through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15 percent of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby which is similar to American "football," but does not involve stopping for a rest every 20 seconds (or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2009.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% f you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys.

8. July 4 is no longer a public holiday. November 8 will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crook and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.
_______
I remembered this from last election. Thought I'd update it.
Hip, hip, hooray!! Jolly good and all that rot!! :D

Very funny post. Thanks.....I needed a laugh!! :D

Now thats funny. CFL better then NFL anyways. The Canadians laugh at you again america.

Yes, a yank who insults southerners and maccams!!!! :D This is too good to be true!!! :D I think you mean 60,000,000 people tho, i mean we don't all go to old trafford every weekend (Man Utds ground holds over 60,000 if i remember right)

Ooops. my bad. I knew it was 60,000,000.

And lets face it, when will the people of London renounce their shandy drinking ways? I've been to London, and it's not a patch on the North. (Except for Sunderland, that place sucks, stupid floating tap statue, I hate you maccam people.)

Plus the beer in the North is far better. Sad thing is when they import it to the US it gets all buggered up. :(

While I have absolutely no idea what you just said about whomever it was... I kinda agree with the first part. Many a times people ask if we still live in Grass Shacks and Surf all day.


and run away from those nasty volcanos whilst trying not to get eaten by sharks too i imagine ;) :rolleyes:

While I have absolutely no idea what you just said about whomever it was... I kinda agree with the first part. Many a times people ask if we still live in Grass Shacks and Surf all day.


What? It's not like that. :(

Oh well. I suppose you don't know that "dog" fellow either.

and run away from those nasty volcanos whilst trying not to get eaten by sharks too i imagine ;) :rolleyes:

Ahh, you mean Pele and Lono... nah, we tell them we sacrifice the obvious Haole (Foreigner) then ask if they wanna check out the beaches or the mountains.

What? It's not like that. :(

Oh well. I suppose you don't know that "dog" fellow either.

Nope... Hey, you wanna go rock climbing? if not, I hear the Surf should be great today :D :D

Ooops. my bad. I knew it was 60,000,000.

And lets face it, when will the people of London renounce their shandy drinking ways? I've been to London, and it's not a patch on the North. (Except for Sunderland, that place sucks, stupid floating tap statue, I hate you maccam people.)

Plus the beer in the North is far better. Sad thing is when they import it to the US it gets all buggered up. :(


Well, Britain produces the best dark beer anywhere on earth (my one bit of national pride there), but i think the germans, czechs (mmmmm budvar) and others win hands down with their lagers etc... But its the same with american imported beers here (apart from Budweiser which i just loathe, and southerners put in their shandy caus its cheap) they always seem to change somewhere in the mid atlantic...to nastiness. oh well, more trips to the states it is then :D The reason i think why southerners drink shandy is caus beer costs a fortune in london, its like a fiver for a pint...silly silly money

Well, Britain produces the best dark beer anywhere on earth (my one bit of national pride there), but i think the germans, czechs (mmmmm budvar) and others win hands down with their lagers etc... But its the same with american imported beers here (apart from Budweiser which i just loathe, and southerners put in their shandy caus its cheap) they always seem to change somewhere in the mid atlantic...to nastiness. oh well, more trips to the states it is then :D The reason i think why southerners drink shandy is caus beer costs a fortune in london, its like a fiver for a pint...silly silly money

I always had a soft spot for theakstons. Good pint that, if you get it from a place that keeps the beer in good nick.

Of course for local beer. I've always been an exhibition drinker. I've also sunk a bottle or two of "dog" in my day.

On the light beer side, I have to admit I'm a stella drinker. Nothing else seems right when your out in the Bigg Market. (Oh the mispent youth). Plus one of my Uncles is from Tudhoe, and thats what they serve in the Spennymoor cricket club. (I am not going to drink camerons, the other option)

As for US beers. The scene is improving, there are a lot of smaller breweries now, but many of them are crap, or they make those hideous fruit beers.

Sludgewiser should be banned on grounds of good taste.

I always had a soft spot for theakstons. Good pint that, if you get it from a place that keeps the beer in good nick.

Of course for local beer. I've always been an exhibition drinker. I've also sunk a bottle or two of "dog" in my day.

On the light beer side, I have to admit I'm a stella drinker. Nothing else seems right when your out in the Bigg Market. (Oh the mispent youth). Plus one of my Uncles is from Tudhoe, and thats what they serve in the Spennymoor cricket club. (I am not going to drink camerons, the other option)

As for US beers. The scene is improving, there are a lot of smaller breweries now, but many of them are crap, or they make those hideous fruit beers.

Sludgewiser should be banned on grounds of good taste.

Theakstons rocks esp. the Old Peculiar version...love that stuff. As for the normal stuff i go for Kron 64, not bad, but theres plenty worse (fosters anyone? :( ) I'm not a fan of camerons either, but my uni bar has a varying selection of really really good ales, its one of the top 100 Beer Bars in Britain...lucky lucky me :D

When i was at Sunday River there was a local brewery there, did a light ale honey beer, was some of the nicest stuff i have ever tasted...so want to go back there again.

Theakstons rocks esp. the Old Peculiar version...love that stuff. As for the normal stuff i go for Kron 64, not bad, but theres plenty worse (fosters anyone? :( ) I'm not a fan of camerons either, but my uni bar has a varying selection of really really good ales, its one of the top 100 Beer Bars in Britain...lucky lucky me :D

When i was at Sunday River there was a local brewery there, did a light ale honey beer, was some of the nicest stuff i have ever tasted...so want to go back there again.

Probably from the Bar harbor brewery. They're not bad.

Old peculiar is a trip. That stuff takes you to starfished pretty damn fast.

Yes! DEFINITELY screw the Queen!
I'm english, by the way.
Veeeeeeeery funny post, but some truths in it... ie. americans probounce everything wrong. ;)

Yes! DEFINITELY screw the Queen!
I'm english, by the way.
Veeeeeeeery funny post, but some truths in it... ie. americans probounce everything wrong. ;)

Sorry dude, I only know two languages... English and BAD English

Well that's as may be, but my family over there still hate the royal family because they are, amongst other things, idle bastards or something.

I think they wouldn't mind paying more for a president, they just want an elected not a hereditary head of state. I also know that they are in the minority. Mind you they are all Geordies, so maybe that explains it.
Speaking as a Geordie I would say that we are what is best descirbed as a mixed bag!

Well more a Northumbrian than a Geordie.

Speaking as a Geordie I would say that we are what is best descirbed as a mixed bag!

really where you from.

Probably from the Bar harbor brewery. They're not bad.

Old peculiar is a trip. That stuff takes you to starfished pretty damn fast.

Two words: Tennants Super

The easiest way to get slashed very quickly without spirits

really where you from.

well if he/she is a geordie then i can take one good guess ;) :D

well if he/she is a geordie then i can take one good guess ;) :D

I know, I meant which bit.

And tenant's super. Scotlands contribution to the cheap night.

Sorry dude, I only know two languages... English and BAD English

Hehe... at least you admit it.

Repeat after me... AL-u-MIN-ium.
cent-ri-FU-gal.
WIBB-le.

Keep rocking peepz!

Hehe... at least you admit it.

Repeat after me... AL-u-MIN-ium.
cent-ri-FU-gal.
WIBB-le.

Keep rocking peepz!

uuhh
Soda can
Spinny thing
HUH???
;) :D ;)

Go your highness!
:D Great letter, I wonder who really wrote it.

Yeah thats what most want, caus Charles' private life hasn't made him the most popular guy, plus he isn't seen as the most intelligent bloke around
He should run for president of the US then. If they elect someone like Bush Charles has a fighting chance.

He should run for president of the US then. If they elect someone like Bush Charles has a fighting chance.

Only if they revoke the Natural Born Citizen thing... Everyone would vote for him cuz he would remind them of Dumbo.

Only if they revoke the Natural Born Citizen thing... Everyone would vote for him cuz he would remind them of Dumbo.

You wait til Arnie runs, then you can have Rambo to fight terrorism!!!

Only if they revoke the Natural Born Citizen thing... Everyone would vote for him cuz he would remind them of Dumbo.
As a former British colony I think Charles is entitled to citizenship by default.

You wait til Arnie runs, then you can have Rambo to fight terrorism!!!
Wouldn't that be the case once Sylvester Stallone decides to take the White House by storm?

You wait til Arnie runs, then you can have Rambo to fight terrorism!!!

[Arnold voice] Dats da Terminator to you...

[Normal Voice] Sly stallone as his opponent.... or worse... his running mate... It won't matter what they promise... No one would understand them anyhow!!!
:D
:D
:D

Add Bob Dylan as his Press Secretary....

I love both German and American cars. My two favorites are VW and Dodge. :D


(This is in reply to the line about cars)um...Daimler-Chrysler...;)

Not only is the original post in this thread hilarious, so are all the little posts asking if this is serious...

Only sad thing is...well...four more years of listening to the English language (American or British version, take your pick) being slaughtered by the ... by the... P...P...Pr...

No, I can't bring myself to say it.

Add Bob Dylan as his Press Secretary....

Now that would make for more imaginative statements from the white house

You wait til Arnie runs, then you can have Rambo to fight terrorism!!!

Ok, i got the films mixed up...i now sound like a fool... :(

Ok, i got the films mixed up...i now sound like a fool... :(

No worries mate... after all, Both Arnie and Sly poke fun at each other all the time...

In Arnie's move 'Last Action Hero' it was Sly stallone who starred in Terminator (complete with movie poster and all) and in Sly's 'Demolition Man' A thawed out Sparted learned that President Swartzenegger (sp?) ended the very Nasty 'Fast Food Wars'

Hmmm. if he does become President... that film would've really predicted it... which would be the Ultimate punk on Sly Stallone... Finally, Arnie motives becomes clear! :eek:

um...Daimler-Chrysler...;)

Not only is the original post in this thread hilarious, so are all the little posts asking if this is serious...

Only sad thing is...well...four more years of listening to the English language (American or British version, take your pick) being slaughtered by the ... by the... P...P...Pr...

No, I can't bring myself to say it.

Just do what most of the media did the first 4 years... call him Mr. Bush.

Look, let's not be hasty with the foreign actors thing.

We might end up with Antonio Banderas. :mad:

No worries mate... after all, Both Arnie and Sly poke fun at each other all the time...

In Arnie's move 'Last Action Hero' it was Sly stallone who starred in Terminator (complete with movie poster and all) and in Sly's 'Demolition Man' A thawed out Sparted learned that President Swartzenegger (sp?) ended the very Nasty 'Fast Food Wars'

Hmmm. if he does become President... that film would've really predicted it... which would be the Ultimate punk on Sly Stallone... Finally, Arnie motives becomes clear! :eek:

wow, mass conspirancy!!!!! arhgh noooo! :eek:

Look, let's not be hasty with the foreign actors thing.

We might end up with Antonio Banderas. :mad:

"For you baby, i could be" :eek: imagine him saying that to an intern hehehe

The last English King to rule the US (as a colony) was King George III who was certified insane later. I see nothing has changed with US electing George H Bush earlier and George W Bush later.

Manchester rocks above all other cities ;) The lakes are really nice, i go there fairly often when i am at home as we have friends near windemere.its nice to meet someone who actually has been here and knows us beyond the stereotypes on tv, like when i went to the states, its always good to go talk to people rather than follow the tourist route as you get to know a little more about the place than just seeing the sights...

Everyone knows England is nice...
:)

Except Blackpool, which in my opinion is the arse of the world.

"For you baby, i could be" :eek: imagine him saying that to an intern hehehe

Actually I was more concerned about having to look at his wife on the TV all the time.

She was cute once, but all that plastic surgery. *sigh*. Well it's just not right, is it.

Everyone knows England is nice...
:)

Except Blackpool, which in my opinion is the arse of the world.

*Ahem* And Sunderland. Stupid maccams and their floating tap. I hate you. And your vaux pubs. No more I say.

Everyone knows England is nice...
:)



I wouldn't mind visiting England... enjoying the country side and the pubs...

*Ahem* And Sunderland. Stupid maccams and their floating tap. I hate you. And your vaux pubs. No more I say.


You should go to a Newcastle vs. Sunderland football match, now that would be amusing....

*Ahem* And Sunderland. Stupid maccams and their floating tap. I hate you. And your vaux pubs. No more I say.

Never been to Sunderland...
The maccams and floating tap sound horrendous tho.

I wouldn't mind visiting England... enjoying the country side and the pubs...

I'm might be moving to England in a year... I can't wait

Never been to Sunderland...
The maccams and floating tap sound horrendous tho.

Don't go. It's v. poor.

Give to holland or something. It's a blot on the N.E. I can't believe they extended the Metro down there. What a waste. They should have put it out to Corbridge instead.

And while I'm at it we should do something about the monkey hangers in Hartlepool while we are at it.

Don't go. It's v. poor.

Give to holland or something. It's a blot on the N.E. I can't believe they extended the Metro down there. What a waste. They should have put it out to Corbridge instead.

And while I'm at it we should do something about the monkey hangers in Hartlepool while we are at it.

Hartlepool? Never even heard of it...

Don't go. It's v. poor.

Give to holland or something. It's a blot on the N.E. I can't believe they extended the Metro down there. What a waste. They should have put it out to Corbridge instead.

And while I'm at it we should do something about the monkey hangers in Hartlepool while we are at it.

hehehehe, this rocks, the complete verbal annihilation of southern shandy drinkers, maccams and people from hartlepool, all from a bloke in NYC. :D

Hartlepool? Never even heard of it...

During the time of the napoleonic wars, so the legend goes, a french vessel was shipwrecked offshore. The only suvivor was the ships mascot; a little monkey dressed in a soldiers uniform. Local fisherman "captured" the monkey and held a shore based trial where they questioned the monkey. Being unfamiliar with what a frenchman actually looked like, they concluded the monkey was a french spy and promptly hanged it. The consensus among geordies is that their intellect has not much improved in the intervening period. Need I say more.

hehehehe, this rocks, the complete verbal annihilation of southern shandy drinkers, maccams and people from hartlepool, all from a bloke in NYC. :D

Yes, they are hated worldwide. :)

During the time of the napoleonic wars, so the legend goes, a french vessel was shipwrecked offshore. The only suvivor was the ships mascot; a little monkey dressed in a soldiers uniform. Local fisherman "captured" the monkey and held a shore based trial where they questioned the monkey. Being unfamiliar with what a frenchman actually looked like, they concluded the monkey was a french spy and promptly hanged it. The consensus among geordies is that their intellect has not much improved in the intervening period. Need I say more.

nope

During the time of the napoleonic wars, so the legend goes, a french vessel was shipwrecked offshore. The only suvivor was the ships mascot; a little monkey dressed in a soldiers uniform. Local fisherman "captured" the monkey and held a shore based trial where they questioned the monkey. Being unfamiliar with what a frenchman actually looked like, they concluded the monkey was a french spy and promptly hanged it. The consensus among geordies is that their intellect has not much improved in the intervening period. Need I say more.

:D

The best part is everyone calls them monkey-hangers. They'll never live that one down. Ever.

How many 'dear limey' letters do you Brits need? :rolleyes:

The world doesn't revolve around Great Britain anymore. Get over it.

P.S.: I also find it highly peculiar that Her Big-Titledness (can't be arsed ( :rolleyes: ) to learn her real title--I'm American, remember?) approves of Alaska but not Utah.

This is the best thread ever!
And the first post is very funny as well.
Yeah, I'm up here in Scotland, sunny, sunny Scotland. You don't appreciate us enough. We give you rain!
Sorry, I had nothing to really contribute to this thread. I don't really know about those in the south, doesn't sound as if I want to either.

How many 'dear limey' letters do you Brits need? :rolleyes:

The world doesn't revolve around Great Britain anymore. Get over it.

P.S.: I also find it highly peculiar that Her Big-Titledness (can't be arsed ( :rolleyes: ) to learn her real title--I'm American, remember?) approves of Alaska but not Utah.


Uh.... No-one said that the world did revole around us any more. You were the first to insinuate it.

Also, you say that you don't need a working knowledge of others customs because you're American? Thank God I'm intelligent to know that that doesn't really expand to what most Americans would feel on the matter.

just for your information, the Queen has several titles. Here's two.

"Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith."

In Canada, where the Queen is the Head of State, her official title is "Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom, Canada and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith."

Good post, I hope people see it as the joke that it is. I especially liked the point about American "footbal" and rugby. This is a joke, and I would be laughing just as hard if an American did one right back on us Brits. We need to take ourselves less seriously men (and women), its a big universe out there and our countries mean squat, so we may as well take the piss out of them!

Some random observations:

I'm a yank, and I thought the letter was bloody brilliant. But you limeys don't want us as subjects, really. For one thing, you'll never get rid of fecking Blair that way....

It is incredibly amusing that the handful of people who took this thread as anything but a joke were Bush supporters. I leave you to your own conclusions.

Just a gentle reminder: 51-49 is NOT a mandate. Nearly half of the US voters are actually smart enough to turn out against the hydroencephalic chimp, and rather hope the good citizens of Hartlepool will come visit and take care of him for us.

With the exception, perhaps, of anything produced by Samuel Smith, I have to stand up for the primacy of Irish stout. Beamish in particular.

Kellarley: 98% of ManUtd fans have never been to Old Trafford. :p

I would bloody rather have Antonio "How you say" Banderas than Schwarzenegger. At least I can be pretty confident that Banderas was never a Nazi sympathizer. Besides, Ahhhnold ran for Governator on the platform that he was going to enact workers' compensation "reform," which translates into English as "bugger the working man!"

Roight. I'm done now.

Why are you guys in the “Colonies” (I.E. America – For the Americans reading this) getting so upset – it’s a JOKE! But then again, I can understand the anger. If my fellow countrymen elected……em….how to put this……an “intellectually & morally challenged” man as leader of my country, I think I would be a little pissed off right now…….Or another way to look at this is “Who is more foolish? The fool who is elected or the fool who elects the fool?” :)

Why are you guys in the “Colonies” (I.E. America – For the Americans reading this) getting so upset – it’s a JOKE! But then again, I can understand the anger. If my fellow countrymen elected……em….how to put this……an “intellectually & morally challenged” man as leader of my country, I think I would be a little pissed off right now…….Or another way to look at this is “Who is more foolish? The fool who is elected or the fool who elects the fool?” :)

I wouldn't sweat it. Typically over here when one party seizes all the power it goes to their heads and they bugger themselves up real quick. The UK is unusual in the immense amount of power it concentrates in the hands of the government. It usually takes years to get the same amount over here.

In any event, that means political parties in the UK usually act more responsibly when they are handed the keys. Over here they tend to get carried away and use it to settle scores and push hidden agenda on behalf of longtime supporters.

Unless Bush et al suddenly become a lot more concilatory and moderate, I wouldn't be at all suprised if people are sick of them in two years and they loose the house. Just like Clinton did.

ohhh, i see, it IS a joke! :D

well still, screw the Queen of England!

OOC: Oh I see screw an institution that is far older than your narrow minded nation. Screw who has openly attempted to help Africa and stated her desire to end third world debt. Screw an institution which saved your little butts in your civil war. If it was not for the crowns distaste for slavery we would have joined the south in the civil war, yes that’s right the Crown keeps its principles unlike a few of your presidents. Be more respectful to an institution and a State which is older and has far more culture and experience than you and your narrow minded nation and populace.

This just goes to show how most things in the letter are proven correct.

Except the current Royals are full German heritage, hell one of our Kings from that line could not even speak English, only German. However I guess your point may still stand Unified Sith.

Except the current Royals are full German heritage, hell one of our Kings from that line could not even speak English, only German. However I guess your point may still stand Unified Sith.


Perhaps you need to have a look at what I just wrote once again. I said institution and my point fully stands as the European/British monarchies were almost one in the same through the inter marriages throughout the years. Institution I said which the queen represents regardless of her origins. She was born in the UK which makes her British, the same goes for all of our people that have families descended from India and Africa we regard them as British if they were born in Britain.

Perhaps you need to have a look at what I just wrote once again. I said institution and my point fully stands as the European/British monarchies were almost one in the same through the inter marriages throughout the years. Institution I said which the queen represents regardless of her origins. She was born in the UK which makes her British, the same goes for all of our people that have families descended from India and Africa we regard them as British if they were born in Britain.

I know, I know, I was just being a pedantic arse! Sorry. :)

I think everyone is starting to take this whole thing far to seriously.

And when is the UK going to pony up with another juicy royal scandal. It's been far to long.

Yes why does American have such a fascination with our royal family. Leave them alone their ours lol. You decided to throw them away.

Yes why does American have such a fascination with our royal family. Leave them alone their ours lol. You decided to throw them away.

Oi, Im not American.

Yes why does American have such a fascination with our royal family. Leave them alone their ours lol. You decided to throw them away.

well we are not fascinated in general. just by the scandals. they are pretty famous you know.

c'mon, royal scandals are dead good. everyone loves them, except the queen.

I wouldn't sweat it. Typically over here when one party seizes all the power it goes to their heads and they bugger themselves up real quick. The UK is unusual in the immense amount of power it concentrates in the hands of the government. It usually takes years to get the same amount over here.

In any event, that means political parties in the UK usually act more responsibly when they are handed the keys. Over here they tend to get carried away and use it to settle scores and push hidden agenda on behalf of longtime supporters.

Unless Bush et al suddenly become a lot more concilatory and moderate, I wouldn't be at all suprised if people are sick of them in two years and they loose the house. Just like Clinton did.

it will surely happen. i would be very surprised if bush gets re-elected a third time ... i am from europe and i frankly don't give a damn for America's history (even if it's short though), but i cant recall any president that was in charge for 12 years ...

Clinton is a pretty smart fellow. He has a carisma and people adored him ... if he hadn't been such a horny pervert he could have been easily re-elected another time ...

it will surely happen. i would be very surprised if bush gets re-elected a third time ... i am from europe and i frankly don't give a damn for America's history (even if it's short though), but i cant recall any president that was in charge for 12 years ...

Clinton is a pretty smart fellow. He has a carisma and people adored him ... if he hadn't been such a horny pervert he could have been easily re-elected another time ...
Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected for three terms. It took the piss out of the Republicans so badly that they ramrodded through an amendment to the Constitution limiting the President to two terms ever after, just to take a swipe at the poor bastard's ghost.

it will surely happen. i would be very surprised if bush gets re-elected a third time ... i am from europe and i frankly don't give a damn for America's history (even if it's short though), but i cant recall any president that was in charge for 12 years ...

Clinton is a pretty smart fellow. He has a carisma and people adored him ... if he hadn't been such a horny pervert he could have been easily re-elected another time ...

Well:

1) All presidents are limited to two terms, (eight years), they can't have any more, so no third term for Bush.

2) Every two years the lower house of the legislative branch faces total re-election as does one third of the upper house. If, as clinton did in his first two years of office, the power of controlling both the executive and legislative branch goes to the dominant parties head, then the electorate punishes them, and they lose any "mandate" they might have thought they had. This happened to Clinton in 1994. After that his domestic agenda was pretty much derailed. His re-election in 1996 focused on things like "school uniforms." So it's pretty clear that if Bush doesn't reach out and pisses everyone off the same thing will happen to him.

3) To make it perfectly clear, it is legally impossible for bush to run for office again.

Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected for three terms. It took the piss out of the Republicans so badly that they ramrodded through an amendment to the Constitution limiting the President to two terms ever after, just to take a swipe at the poor bastard's ghost.

Actually, that wasn't just republicans. That ammendment had pretty broad support. When people stopped being gentlemen about George Washington's precedent, the whole country got pissed off.

Edit: and if you look at article V of the consitution, you'll see that its impossible to ramrod through an ammendment, you need like a super-super majority, as well as broad support across all geographic areas. That's why pretty much only the book keeping ones pass, except for prohibition and income tax.

heh. i had him in mind cause we learned at school that he did a great job after the markets all over world were fucked up cause of the war and so on ... it seemed to me a great guy.

eh. the republicans. i don't know. in my country, after 10 years of demoracts winning the elections it finnaly happened: the republicans (or better collaboracionists (with germany in WWII), wimps, racists and so on) won the elections ... how i hate that.

Letter from the Queen of England Received by New York Times 11/04/2004

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a Suitible President (yet again) and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths, and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85 percent of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed."

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save the Queen," but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up halfway through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15 percent of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby which is similar to American "football," but does not involve stopping for a rest every 20 seconds (or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2009.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% f you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys.

8. July 4 is no longer a public holiday. November 8 will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crook and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Thank you for your cooperation.
_______
I remembered this from last election. Thought I'd update it.

I think the Queen Mum should understand
that America only gave a crap about Diana
and none of us gives a damn about her.

This thread is very funny.

But Guys & Girls, As a southern Shandy drinker (I dont need to get drunk to forget I'm living north of watford) :p and as a monarchist, back off the queen, she's not here to defend herself.
As for some of you judges, I think you could find out some more before knee jerking.

As was said before, write one from the US as funny for the upcomming UK elections. With Blair et al there's a mile of fodder. :D

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths, and other territories?????

what a bunch of bull shit that is. i hope this is a joke. Bush is a good president, screw the Queen of England!

Lizzy is a good queen you know :p

This thread is very funny.

But Guys & Girls, As a southern Shandy drinker (I dont need to get drunk to forget I'm living north of watford) :p and as a monarchist, back off the queen, she's not here to defend herself.
As for some of you judges, I think you could find out some more before knee jerking.

As was said before, write one from the US as funny for the upcomming UK elections. With Blair et al there's a mile of fodder. :D

Well at least you're not out there hanging monkeys I suppose. :)

But explain why the beer is all flat in London.

Well at least you're not out there hanging monkeys I suppose. :)

But explain why the beer is all flat in London.

Well, all the old stuff we won't drink, we give it to northerners visiting. ;)

Well, all the old stuff we won't drink, we give it to northerners visiting. ;)

Ah, so the geordies are right. I knew it.

are you saying you dont do it to us?

are you saying you dont do it to us?

No you get fresh beer. A geordie would never serve stale beer. They might piss in it first though.

I think the Queen Mum should understand
that America only gave a crap about Diana
and none of us gives a damn about her.
You do realise that Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother died a while back don't you?

Britain's monarch is Queen Elizabeth II.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths, and other territories?????

what a bunch of bull shit that is. i hope this is a joke. Bush is a good president, screw the Queen of England!


Hell yeah, I would like to see Britain try and take us over what a slaughter it would be.

Hell yeah, I would like to see Britain try and take us over what a slaughter it would be.
do you realise that, if they wanted to, the SAS could probably go in, kill the President, and get out without anyone having the faintest idea who it was? they could probably carry out a coup d'etat as well if they really felt the need, take out the top guys...

of course, it wont happen though

Queens of England are fun. They're like big cuddly grandmothers.

I hope England never gets another King. Kings of England are always a disappointment.

There to bussy bum fucking there sons >_>

**sniggers**

Big cuddly grandmothers... yeah, maybe.

I happen to rather like the idea of having a monarch. For a start, her palaces bring in so many tourists that she makes our country a good few billion quid each year.

XD

But just so you know - Blair sucks too. He's as bad as Maggie Thatcher, but hidden a lot better.

And Nadkor - they might be able to do that, true. This is mostly because American military and secret service are trained with computer games.

I remember when this did the rounds last time. I'm guessing the American retort to this will start doing the rounds again soon...

Mmm.

I just don't see why this needs a retort. It's a joke. :)

Hell yeah, I would like to see Britain try and take us over what a slaughter it would be.

God you're so paranoid and Gun-ho - who wants to invade America with all its problems.

That's mainly why she doesn't want utah. Everyone knows that all our problems come from the damned mormons in utah. It's all their fault. <-- American retort