NationStates Jolt Archive

There's this guy I like, and he's the greatest opportunity I've ever had: political, musical, smart, cute, single, nice, not "perfect" (kinda like people said Al Gore was too robotic, you know, human mistakes), and most of all pays attention when I talk instead of answering questions while half ignoring me like some guys do who are too wrapped up in their own life.

Anyway, now that I've ranted, I need some conversation starters. I say hi in the hall and we talked a lot yesterday, but those were two unique and unusual opportunities so they don't exactly apply. The problem is that the two main standards don't work. "Can you explain this to me?"/"Can I borrow your notes?" doesn't work because I'm top of the class and the teachers make it obvious enough that if he's paying attention, he knows that. "What did you think of the game?" doesn't work because I go to an alternative school that doesn't have sports. I'm not going to do something totally cheesy like "accidentally" running into him and dropping my books, although I might try something a little less outrageous.

So, any ideas?

Jeeze Zincite, why do you always have to act like such a girl?

Try...hey you wanna go get some pizza and a movie some time?

After he makes a good insight, what you want to do is talk to him about it afterwards. Naturally, if you guys are both intelligent, you'll hit it off. That is the exact course of action me and my fiance took. Hey commies, mods and liberals, you're all invited to Comandante's wedding!

"Hi" works.

Ask him what he's doing on the weekend or if he's seen any good movies lately. That's how I got my boyfriend.
I met him through my work and one night he came through my register. i asked him about his day and what he'd been up to lately and he kept coming back to see me. Eventually he asked me for my number, we started seeing each other outside of work and now we're together. You just have to remember to be brave. If you want something, go for it.
You'll be very suprised what a little confidence will get you...

"Hi" is already in my arsenal.

Asking him out on a date is WAAAYY too heavy at this point since I believe I've talked to him a grand total of three times.

Thanks for the insight thing; that's pretty much what yesterday's opportunities were. I suppose that will happen again, but I'd like some basic chat topics.

And yes, I've become more and more girly ever since I turned about ten. I suppose it's part of going from being a kid with XX chromosomes to a GIRL. (aka, female puberty)

I agree with the "What are you doing...later today/weekend".....

Just ask him to go grab some coffee or see a movie, it would be best to talk to him one on one, since you probably won't be as distracted somewhere by yourselves as you would be at school.

Once you start talking to him I'm sure conversation will go much more smoothly when you get to know more about him :).

Say something weird but intriguing, then he'll want to find out what you meant.

*please note, it is 1 am here, and I came up with that idea in 2 seconds

What about talking about books? It's not as huge a step as asking him out on a date, but it seems like you are both pretty smart cookies. If the two of you don't normally read a lot, you can always ask opinions on the themes of assigned novels/poetry, that kind of thing.

It's a starter, anyway.

There's this guy I like, and he's the greatest opportunity I've ever had: political, musical, smart, cute, single, nice, not "perfect" (kinda like people said Al Gore was too robotic, you know, human mistakes), and most of all pays attention when I talk instead of answering questions while half ignoring me like some guys do who are too wrapped up in their own life.

Anyway, now that I've ranted, I need some conversation starters. I say hi in the hall and we talked a lot yesterday, but those were two unique and unusual opportunities so they don't exactly apply. The problem is that the two main standards don't work. "Can you explain this to me?"/"Can I borrow your notes?" doesn't work because I'm top of the class and the teachers make it obvious enough that if he's paying attention, he knows that. "What did you think of the game?" doesn't work because I go to an alternative school that doesn't have sports. I'm not going to do something totally cheesy like "accidentally" running into him and dropping my books, although I might try something a little less outrageous.

So, any ideas?

So ask him for homework help anyway... if he knows you don't need it, he'll know you're interested. Is that bad? :)

Most guys are lousy conversationalists and don't like to talk about trivial things, so don't expect much conversation when the topics are trivial (your girlfirneds may like to talk about every little detail, guys do not). However, if the subject matter is too 'important' (politics, etc.) then you just might get response that reflects the question. Both get you no where.

My opinion:

Talk to him just to make sure he knows you exist at first. Obviously an important step. DO NOT get involved in everything he is involved in and badger him all the time, you'll scare him off. In other words DON'T seek him out. Just go about your business as usual and only flash that smile when you meet by happenstance. You don't have to talk with him long to get your point across that you are interested in him.

During this period the occasional smile is important. A little flirtation (Smiling is a very underrated flirtation method. Use it!) and he will eventually get the idea that you like him. Occasionally turn discussions towards him, ask what what he's doing before you start saying things about yourself. Don't make him comment on you. He knows nothing about you and it is unnerving enough to make comments to people you hardly know.

As a final note I'll say (and possibly repeat) that badgering him is counter-productive, don't make him feel like the decision is an ultimatum. If you want you could ask him out yourself (after he acknowledges your existence that is and you two begin to warm up to each other). You could also let your friends know you like him and the info will get back to him eventually (again, after you warm up to each other).

Now that I've said al that are their any opinions on my advice? :D

Well, I can't say I've ever liked someone like that. I'm into the bad druggie type that's impossible to obtain. ^_^

I find that if you say something funny (not necessarily directed at them) it gets their attention. I dunno, I am the queen of sarcasm. Or, complain about the class...sympathy is a fast way to a man's heart.

Ask him what he's doing on the weekend or if he's seen any good movies lately. That's how I got my boyfriend.
I met him through my work and one night he came through my register. i asked him about his day and what he'd been up to lately and he kept coming back to see me. Eventually he asked me for my number, we started seeing each other outside of work and now we're together. You just have to remember to be brave. If you want something, go for it.
You'll be very suprised what a little confidence will get you...

I, myself am a big honking coward but its a personality flaw I've been beginning to change. Cowardice was thrust upon me from an early age and it doesn't suit my intrinsic personality very well.

Yeah... I don't like to dwell on the negative, but if my teachers piss me off sometime I know commiseration is a definite possibility.

I'm glad it's easy not to badger. Our school is small both in population and geography so everyone runs into everyone plenty, and we have our first and last classes together.

Whatever you talk to him about, do the old arm touch when you part ways...it's a pretty good signal (unless he's a dolt)...and guys like it (well, I do anyway).

Hmmm. Arm touch, eh? Maybe after we get to know each other better, I will. That's a good idea.

Club him over the head and drag him off to have your way with him. Illegal? Maybe, but he'll have to give you points for creativity.

Club him over the head and drag him off to have your way with him. Illegal? Maybe, but he'll have to give you points for creativity.

Wow... you REALLY missed the point. Okay, so it's obvious you're joking, but really... I LIKE this guy, it's not a fuckability thing.

Especially considering I'm 14.

Wow... you REALLY missed the point. Okay, so it's obvious you're joking, but really... I LIKE this guy, it's not a fuckability thing.

Especially considering I'm 14.

Yeah, I have a 14 year old sister. 14 year old girls better not have sex.

Wow... you REALLY missed the point. Okay, so it's obvious you're joking, but really... I LIKE this guy, it's not a fuckability thing.

Especially considering I'm 14.
Well you can talk with him once he regains conciousness. You don't HAVE to take advantage of him, but he would surely appreciate the effort you went to for a conversation. And if he's all tied up and doesn't have a choice about having the conversation, that's just "creative sportsmanship" an your part. I mean, it definately shows more imagination and effort than breaking the ice with some line about... whatever it is you kids talk about. 14? What timezone are you in? Shouldn't you be in bed by now?

You could always comment on the fact that the Redskins failed to accurately predict the fate of the incumbent in the US Presidential election for the first time since 1933. Interesting facts might get attention.... but I'd keep the club just in case.

Men really like it when women actually tell them they are interested rather than just dropping hints that we are too dumb to pick up on.

Yeah, I have a 14 year old sister. 14 year old girls better not have sex.
What about 14 year old boys? I hope you don't have a silly double standard.

oh yeah, compliments, we like those.

Men really like it when women actually tell them they are interested rather than just dropping hints that we are too dumb to pick up on.
I believe the same applies when you are not interested. I mean... "you're a nice guy"? What the hell is that supposed to mean!? Dammit, woman, throw something at me! Yell at me! Insult my mother! Leave no question about your intentions. It's only fair.

What about 14 year old boys? I hope you don't have a silly double standard.

Nope, my 14 year old brother can have sex with as many people as he wants. Just not my sister.

Men really like it when women actually tell them they are interested rather than just dropping hints that we are too dumb to pick up on.

I believe the same applies when you are not interested. I mean... "you're a nice guy"? What the hell is that supposed to mean!? Dammit, woman, throw something at me! Yell at me! Insult my mother! Leave no question about your intentions. It's only fair.

Agreed in both cases... it's bloody torture not knowing whether or not the person does indeed like you.

Then again I'm a hipocrite, because I've never made my intentions clear, gotta love being a pussy.

Nope, my 14 year old brother can have sex with as many people as he wants. Just not my sister.



Thats interesting way to look at it, I guess. Although, I'm 15, and I'm not looking for sex at the moment.

Men really like it when women actually tell them they are interested rather than just dropping hints that we are too dumb to pick up on.
Absolutely spot on. I might mention that every few years a book comes out telling all the signs that mean someone of the else is interested in you, ignore them because if they haven't read the same book they won't know what the signs mean. Signs, signals, hints, clues and such are not universal despite claims to the contrary frequently made.

Just ask him out. SOme people have a funny attitude about dating, but really it's a way of getting to know someone, so it's never 'too early' to ask someone out. Provided, of course, that you do it somewhere safe, during the day and make sure he knows it's just a way of getting to know him. In fact, you can say that: "Hey, I want to get to know you better, how about we have a coffee (or whatever) sometime?"