NationStates Jolt Archive

About a week ago, I was raped by a very close family member of mine. I am almost 17 and was a virgin at the time. He knew how important it was to me, yet took it all the same. I have been a mess since it happened. I reported it to the police who are dealing with the matter, but I have been branded a liar bythe one person who I thought I could lean on... my own mother; all because he was so wonderful, he could never do something like this. Please tell me what kind of world we are living in, when a teenager can't even count on her own mother for support... She is forced out of home because she has no family on her side. I am currently living with my best friend and her family... because they believe me....

Are you joking? This just sounds too much like a movie plot line.

Trust me, I'm deadly serious...

I call bullshit.

that is all.

Bullshit? You're very funny. As if i would make something like this up....
You can't even begin to imagine how scary it is, how alone you feel... It's discusting.

*hug*

As a victim of molestation and rape, I stand with you. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

Feel free to e-mail me if you need to: onelonevoice@hotmail.com

That's Crazy. You have to find some way to totally convince the police you were raped! That's the only thing i can think of right now.

If it were me, I would kill the guy that did it, but dont go to that extreme. Just get that guy procacuted! And give your mother a punch in the face for me; Mothers are supposed to be there for thier own children.

*hug*

As a victim of molestation and rape, I stand with you. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

Feel free to e-mail me if you need to: onelonevoice@hotmail.com

thanx, that means alot to me...

That's Crazy. You have to find some way to totally convince the police you were raped! That's the only thing i can think of right now.

If it were me, I would kill the guy that did it, but dont go to that extreme. Just get that guy procacuted! And give your mother a punch in the face for me; Mothers are supposed to be there for thier own children.

Hey, they police do believe me, my family just doesn't wnat to accept it.
I don't need to kill him... I have plenty of people who are willing to have it done for me. But killing him would be too easy. I just want him to feel the pain that i do.
My mother is out of my life now, i will never forgive her for this. Especially when he is found guilty in court, I will hate her forer for abandoning me. And I really hope she regrets it.

honestly when/if you get over it, call life time or whoever does theirm ovies

Don't complain about it here. There have been several people claiming they were raped only to come back weeks later and tell us they were just bullshitting us to get a rise out of us.

At least you went to the Police, unlike many women who refuse.

As to your mother, well, she lives her life, you live yours. As to why she is refusing to believe you, her own daughter, I gather there is some undiscussed history there that would start to explain that. But, if she would rather see you out of her life, then it is better you are on your own. Otherwise she might actually place you in a position to have it happen again.

Just stand by your story, prosecute this to the fullest extent of the law, and flaunt your freedom in your Mother's Face.

I hate parents that feel they don't have to earn respect like everyone else.

On a side note, I'd say your Nick is a bad choice tho.

Don't complain about it here. There have been several people claiming they were raped only to come back weeks later and tell us they were just bullshitting us to get a rise out of us.

Yeah well i'm not that stupid, I would never pull a stunt like that.

Yeah well i'm not that stupid, I would never pull a stunt like that.

Well multiple people have in the past, so bear with the disbelief. We're jaded.

that is a very tragic and sad situation to be in, and I am sorry for you. and if it matters at all to you what other people think...I believe virginity is a choice, and it can't be "taken" or "stolen" from you, because it has to be something you choose to give. You have been terribly violated and abused, but in my eyes you are still a virgin until you choose to give that to someone.
I understand that is a difficult mind-set for someone in your situation to take on, but I hope that you can see it that way in the future.

well, act quickly, tell the police while any trauma remains, and if he did rape you, is his, *ahem*DNA inside you? That would prve things pretty quickly.

Trust me, I'm deadly serious...
Are you pregnant? If you are, according to some die-hard neocon nazi republicans, you would not be allowed to abort it.

Bullshit? You're very funny. As if i would make something like this up....
You can't even begin to imagine how scary it is, how alone you feel... It's discusting.
It wasn't meant as a joke, it was just a statement of how much I don't believe you.
I've had dealings with abused people for long enough to tell the difference between real victims and attention-seekers. My ex-girlfriend was a victim of abuse when she was younger, and even now she couldn't talk about it as calm and as "oh this was so bad, pity me" as you are. In fact, no-one I've ever dealt with with a history of abuse has been able to talk about it in that fashion 'about a' week after it happened. Especially in the case of taken virginity.

I still call bullshit. And you'd be surprised how many people would make something like that up. It's one of the most common things people do make up, in fact. It's because of the difficulty to disprove it and the attention 'victims' receive. It's an attention-seeker's wet dream.

Are you pregnant? If you are, according to some die-hard neocon nazi republicans, you would not be allowed to abort it.

i don't think I'm pregnant, BUT if I am, i guess it only proves that i'm not lying. But I have tests done and stuff so yeah.

It wasn't meant as a joke, it was just a statement of how much I don't believe you.
I've had dealings with abused people for long enough to tell the difference between real victims and attention-seekers. My ex-girlfriend was a victim of abuse when she was younger, and even now she couldn't talk about it as calm and as "oh this was so bad, pity me" as you are. In fact, no-one I've ever dealt with with a history of abuse has been able to talk about it in that fashion 'about a' week after it happened. Especially in the case of taken virginity.

I still call bullshit. And you'd be surprised how many people would make something like that up. It's one of the most common things people do make up, in fact. It's because of the difficulty to disprove it and the attention 'victims' receive. It's an attention-seeker's wet dream.

Well you're entitled to your opinion,but just so you know, I'm not calm, i am a wreck. I cry at the drop of a hat and I had to dump my bf coz I can't stand to be touched by a guy. You have no idea how it feels to have something so important stolen from you....

Are you pregnant? If you are, according to some die-hard neocon nazi republicans, you would not be allowed to abort it.
that didnt take long...

Yeah well i'm not that stupid, I would never pull a stunt like that.

Of course, you realize that someone who WAS pulling a stunt WOULD say exactly what you said here.

And you also realize that your post goes completely against the grain... as almost every rape victim feels ashamed of what happened, as if she did something to encourage it, or partially to blame for the horrible incident... and does NOT advertise it in any way shape or form. Almost every rape victim has difficulty sharing it with people close to her, let alone a board full of strangers.

So you can understand any skepticism you will encounter, right?

Maybe I'm just cynical, but I find it hard to believe random claims of abuse now. I think I've had to deal with one too many attention-seekers - the internet is full of them. Maybe it did happen, I'm just looking for certain signs and not finding them.

I'm sorry for being insensitive if it did happen, and I know I don't have any idea what people go through - I'm just on autopilot with people claiming they were abused now...

Of course, you realize that someone who WAS pulling a stunt WOULD say exactly what you said here.

And you also realize that your post goes completely against the grain... as almost every rape victim feels ashamed of what happened, as if she did something to encourage it, or partially to blame for the horrible incident... and does NOT advertise it in any way shape or form. Almost every rape victim has difficulty sharing it with people close to her, let alone a board full of strangers.

So you can understand any skepticism you will encounter, right?

Just to play devil's advocate, most rape victims do feel ashamed of what happened and wouldn't tell family members for fear of ridecule, but the anonymity of a nickname on an internet messageboard is the perfect way to get things out which you wouldn't want associated with you.

I'm not saying I've changed my mind, or I'm defending it in any way, but that's a pretty common thing.

Gigatron: Please leave politics out of this. Sheesh, elections will be completely over in about 6 and a half hours anyways. (9 pm in Hawaii)

Anyways, I extend my apologies, of course. I am curious of why you would bother posting it on an online forum.

Just to play devil's advocate, most rape victims do feel ashamed of what happened and wouldn't tell family members for fear of ridecule, but the anonymity of a nickname on an internet messageboard is the perfect way to get things out which you wouldn't want associated with you.

I'm not saying I've changed my mind, or I'm defending it in any way, but that's a pretty common thing.

If the majority of rape victims cannot find the strength to call an anonymous rape councelling toll free number, to talk one on one with someone who will comfort them, and give them the personal reassurance they need... why would posting anonymously on a cold board where there is likely to be resistance, derision, disbelief, and the occasional insensitive jerk who says she deserved it?

Are you pregnant? If you are, according to some die-hard neocon nazi republicans, you would not be allowed to abort it.

Giga, this is an outright lie and you know it. Abortion is allowed in cases of rape or if the mother's life is in danger.



Anyway, what happened to you is truly most unfortunate, however, obsessing over it wont heal the damage. Have the higher authorities punish your brother and accept your mother's descision. You can still progress with life normally afterwards, there are many welfare groups available and even objectives around higher education can still be persued, granted you are willing to make a few lifestyle adjustments.

If you are not going to make such adjustments your brother would effectively have taken away far more than just virginity, rather your entire life.

If you are spiritual, you may want to speak to your spiritual advisor, or perhaps a counsoler provided by the education system, as obviously your parental authority has failed you.

Now start thinking about what your ambitions are.

:eek: Oh my god, that's horrible (assuming it is true*)!

*Sorry for my skepticism but I've learned not to believe everything I read, and with the internet I can never be sure.

If the majority of rape victims cannot find the strength to call an anonymous rape councelling toll free number, to talk one on one with someone who will comfort them, and give them the personal reassurance they need... why would posting anonymously on a cold board where there is likely to be resistance, derision, disbelief, and the occasional insensitive jerk who says she deserved it?
Because talking is a very intimate thing whereas typing is a very cold and factual process. The cold disconnection is a good thing in situations like this. Plus talking one on one will force you into a conversation about it, hanging on and listening to a response and answering difficult questions.

On a 'board, you can just click off and do something else instead of hanging on waiting for the inevitable response, and the jerk taking the piss will be taking the piss out of a name on the internet, and not you specifically. Plus messageboards a a place where you can just say something then leave it - it's out in the open, but not given out to an authority that might keep records linked with phone-numbers or whatever.

The paranoia symptomatic of a victim like this isn't going to let many people talk 'one-on-one' with anyone about it, especially if they've already been rideculed by someone they trust. No-one believed my ex-girlfriend when it happened to her many years ago, and it meant she didn't tell anyone (police, anonymous hotline, whatever) for many years, but she frequently told people on things like this, despite the abuse, because it was completely anonymous and there was no chance of direct ridecule.

Well, if you went to the police then I'm sure you know what a rape-kit is and since most of us know the evidence that a rapist leaves behind there is no option for doubt.

Yeah, it depends. If he is your mother's other half, you might be quite close to him. If he used a condom then there would be no... DNA... etc... but that would be difficult to do.

But anyway, the point it is that DNA inside her aside, its hard to prove really. Afterall you could have just hugged him and got that hair in you... and those bruises could be from falling over. Etc.

Im going to second what SL says. Its hard to tell over the net. But if thats true, then have an e-teddy to *huggle* as I doubt you want to go near another man right now.

Are you pregnant? If you are, according to some die-hard neocon nazi republicans, you would not be allowed to abort it.

drop the agenda. If this child has been raped the last thing needed is political crap being thrown. There's an election being discussed on other boards you can play with. :gundge:

Hope you are ok. Try to see s psychologist. Its great that you share this with people, because its already happened so now you need to find a way to move on. I say see a psychologist because this doesnt have to stop you having a good relationship in the future.

As for those who say it might be a hoax. Trying to be nice to a rape victim isnt anything to be ashamed about. If it does turn out it was a hoax too bad. However, I think it is real and the last thing someone needs is to find that when they try to share their feelings, no one listens.

Best of luck in the coming days.

while you say he did a wrong thing, I remain skeptical. Having seen people that were raped (afterwards that is, not while) it causes years of mental anguish, but some people are strong and can deal with this sort of thing rather quickly. If you are telling the truth you are a very brave and strong person telling the police about what happened must have been hard. you derserve something for the shitty hand life has dealt you. even if he is proved guilty, he will only be thrown in sex offender treatment and put on probation. If he offends again, then he will get serious reprocussions(sp?), but their isn't much else you can do

Okay, I don't know what's going on here, so my responses are conditional:

Rape victim: I sympathize with you; you have my condolences. Talk to the police, talk to a grief counselor. If you are at the age you say you're at, then your school should have a grief counselor available for you.

Attention whore: We've seen your kind, before, and they eventually crossed the line of what's acceptable on NationStates and were permanently banned.

Either way, this thread is going downhill fast. iLock.

--The Modified Democratic States of Cogitation
NationStates Game Moderator