NationStates Jolt Archive


The Eggs, The Boys ANd The Children.

Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 10:22
I behaved very oddly tonight. :) I just awoke from a nice alcohol-recovery nap and felt I should tell you about some of it.

First of all, My Evil Stealth Clown costume was a screaming success. :D I spent a considerable amount of time making little kids scream. They enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I gave out full-sized candy bars to the good sports.

Then, I went to a friend's house to hang out with good company. This is where the alcohol came from. Relatively early in the night, however, an old conversation about my wrestling days got brought up again and I ended up in a wrestling match in the living room of this guy's house. Which I lost. Why? Because the buddy I was wrestling took a firm grip on my 'boys' and squeezed them like a stress ball. :( Despite several attempts to dislodge his grip, I suddenly realized why people shouldn't mess with rock-climbers. After admitting defeat, and saving myself further damage, I proceeded to drown the pain in more alcohol with some success. Vengeance will be mine one day. Of that, you can be certain. ;)

Well, being in no condition to drive, I was on my way home in a friend's truck. As we were traveling across a bridge, a truck coming the other way passed. As it did, something flew toward us and smashed into the windshield with a sudden frightening bang! It takes us a second to figure out what happened. I figure it out first. I look at the yellowish sheet of goo covering the left quarter of the windshield and say, 'Eggs. Those Motherfu*kers!' Adrenalin is still going now. As it is with my friend. He barely slows down. He twists the wheel, and we go into a high-speed skid, spinning around like something a stunt driver will do. I manage to keep my lunch down as the truck spins 180 degrees and peels out as he guns it and we take off after the now distant truck. I laugh because it occurred to me that the guy behind the wheel that just did this was the []sober[/i] one! I express our plan of action. 'We'll have to make those goblins pay.' My friend just nods and grins. Unfortunately, on the other side of the bridge where we just came from, it opens up into a full-fledged highway and people don't often drive like it. So when the culprits managed to get in front of a few slowpokes and we couldn't, they managed to lose us. We never even got a license number.

But mark my words: My wife is a cop. If those punks are arrested for any sort of mischief tonight, I will find out who they are and where they live. We are not the sort of people that halloween goblins should be egging from moving vehicles. Vengeance will be ours. And it will be phenomenally more creative than a high-speed egging. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0304/teufel/devil-smiley-024.gif
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 14:27
Kinda makes me want to go TP a house. :D
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 14:28
Kinda makes me want to go TP a house. :D

*blink* You mean you haven't yet?!?
Legless Pirates
01-11-2004, 14:30
So you got drunk, got your nuts squeezed, got even more drunk, and raced after some kids that threw an egg at you...

Pretty standard stuff I would say
Refused Party Program
01-11-2004, 14:32
What should I be more surprised at?

That you're married or that your wife is a law enforcer? Are you the Negative to your wife's Positive?

EDIT: That I'm not surprised in the least at your antics says much also!
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 14:32
*blink* You mean you haven't yet?!?

Nah, when I wasn't looking I got to old for such hijinks
:(
Legless Pirates
01-11-2004, 14:35
Nah, when I wasn't looking I got to old for such hijinks
:(
I'm picturing Lunatic Goofballs in one of these
http://www.leefwijzer.nl/gfx/paginas/vervoer_scootmobiel.jpg
circling a house with several rolls of TP
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 14:37
What should I be more surprised at?

That you're married or that your wife is a law enforcer? Are you the Negative to your wife's Positive?

EDIT: That I'm not surprised in the least at your antics says much also!

WHy am I the negative?!? :mad: ;)
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 14:38
So you got drunk, got your nuts squeezed, got even more drunk, and raced after some kids that threw an egg at you...

Pretty standard stuff I would say

Um...

:eek: Egad, I'm not becoming mainstream, am I?!?
Refused Party Program
01-11-2004, 14:39
WHy am I the negative?!? :mad: ;)

Ignore the connotations. Imagine a bar magnet.

Or even better, you are the red nose and she (assuming it's a woman - I will not judge) is the white face.

Egad, I'm not becoming mainstream, am I?!?

You are not as crazy as you used to be. SELL-OUT!
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 14:40
I'm picturing Lunatic Goofballs in one of these
http://www.leefwijzer.nl/gfx/paginas/vervoer_scootmobiel.jpg
circling a house with several rolls of TP

lol. As long as there's a basket for my beer and tacos. :)
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 14:40
I'm picturing Lunatic Goofballs in one of these
http://www.leefwijzer.nl/gfx/paginas/vervoer_scootmobiel.jpg
circling a house with several rolls of TP

LMFAO.

I see him terrorizing the old folks with a walker.
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 14:41
Ignore the connotations. Imagine a bar magnet.

Or even better, you are the red nose and she (assuming it's a woman - I will not judge) is the white face.



You are not as crazy as you used to be. SELL-OUT!

Actually, I suspect the world is just catching up to me. It gets harder and harder to stay out of the norm.
Refused Party Program
01-11-2004, 14:42
Actually, I suspect the world is just catching up to me. It gets harder and harder to stay out of the norm.

Troof. I can't remember the last time I terrorised the locals.
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 14:44
LMFAO.

I see him terrorizing the old folks with a walker.

I'm already starting to suffer occasional bouts of gastric distress from my diet. But Sam Kinison said it best: "WHen salt and sugar kick your ass, it's time to get in the box."

I'd rather die from a taco than live with an ulcer. :)
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 14:50
I'm already starting to suffer occasional bouts of gastric distress from my diet. But Sam Kinison said it best: "WHen salt and sugar kick your ass, it's time to get in the box."

I'd rather die from a taco than live with an ulcer. :)

I personaly would live with the taco and tell the ulcer to go to hell. Habeneros are a staple of my diet, and I have no gastric problems.
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 14:52
I personaly would live with the taco and tell the ulcer to go to hell. Habeneros are a staple of my diet, and I have no gastric problems.

Occasional. Nothing a Tums can't cure. But I don't recall ever needing to keep Tums in the house just-in-case before. :(
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 15:02
Occasional. Nothing a Tums can't cure. But I don't recall ever needing to keep Tums in the house just-in-case before. :(

As a hobby I am a chef *normally focusing on oriental cuisine, but I have no limits* with a fondness for hot and spicy food. Hell I think I might actually be able to kill with my cooking.

If all else fails add a hab.

Plus two bottles of hot sause..
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 15:02
As a hobby I am a chef *normally focusing on oriental cuisine, but I have no limits* with a fondness for hot and spicy food. Hell I think I might actually be able to kill with my cooking.

If all else fails add a hab.

Plus two bottles of hot sause..

Yummy. :D
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 15:04
Three bottles for LG
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 15:09
Three bottles for LG

DO your worst! If you can make my eyeballs boil, you get 20 points. :)
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 15:12
DO your worst! If you can make my eyeballs boil, you get 20 points. :)

Little Girl: I have cooked chili that only three humans are capable of eating.

Really, I think you might die.
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 15:14
Little Girl: I have cooked chili that only three humans are capable of eating.

Really, I think you might die.

I have ordered cuisine so spicy, it had to come with a liability waiver. :D
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 15:17
I have ordered cuisine so spicy, it had to come with a liability waiver. :D

Damn!

I have heard of places like that and they are always in the North-east. I look forward to the challenge.
*evil grin*
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 15:21
Damn!

I have heard of places like that and they are always in the North-east. I look forward to the challenge.
*evil grin*

Me too. :) The funny thing is I come from a family that thinks that tomatoes are very spicy. Heh.
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 15:25
Me too. :) The funny thing is I come from a family that thinks that tomatoes are very spicy. Heh.

I have heard of an Indian Pepper *from its northern area oddly* that rate at least 3 times as hot as a hab. It is unavailable in the states as yet.
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 15:28
I have heard of an Indian Pepper *from its northern area oddly* that rate at least 3 times as hot as a hab. It is unavailable in the states as yet.

Mmm. Indian food. Yummy.

I have this theory that if you get one of each of the following: A Puerto Rican, An Italian, A Korean, and an Indian all of which are masters at their respective cuisines and got them to work together, you could conquer the world with food. *nod*
Big Jim P
01-11-2004, 15:37
Mmm. Indian food. Yummy.

I have this theory that if you get one of each of the following: A Puerto Rican, An Italian, A Korean, and an Indian all of which are masters at their respective cuisines and got them to work together, you could conquer the world with food. *nod*

Oh hell Yeah!

KOREAN!
Lunatic Goofballs
01-11-2004, 15:38
Oh hell Yeah!

KOREAN!

I love korean food. Hell, I love any food prepared by koreans. They take their food very seriously. *nod*