NationStates Jolt Archive

I had a revelation at how ingenious my idea was, I just had to post it.

Instead of keeping prisoners in jail forever and ever and ultimately costing the state more money to keep them than they're worth, we bulldoze some slum somewhere and erect (don't laugh) a giant arena in its place. We then rename prisons 'pre-match holding facilities' (PreFac's for short) and make it routine to have giant gladiator deathmatch-style fights between the inmates. There would be snack stands and everything! The matches would be hosted by the state governor and the winner (the last man alive \ the man who won the most matches at the end of the tournament) would be allowed to live in a luxury mansion-style prison house and wait until next year's big final battle to fight the new finalist. Think about the possibilities with capitalizing on this! Warrior dolls, trading cards, talk shows, everything. I think it's a really great idea. What do you think? And if you divvent like my idea then suck my poo, because I'm in charge and I don't have to listen to you. :p

Oh, hell yeah. We could also have man vs. animal matches and leagues and teams and all that fun stuff. Like modern gladiators, yeah! :)

Actually, I think that is a VERY good idea or just immediate execution if they are sentence to life.

Well, I'd have it so all prisoners with weighty sentances could choose wether or not to enter the contest. Like.. some guy with 25 years or over might like to enter and win in order to cut his sentance by 10 years or so (as long as he wins, plus if he does, he gets the luxury maximum-security mansion.) Life and death row inmates would be forced to enter.

*Note to self*
When I am Prime Minister, and appointing my Home Secretary, find out if said Home Secretary candidate ever played NationStates under name "Fimbulvet". If so, be sure to never, ever, ever, EVER give said candidate any responsibility in my government.
*End note*

Isn't this how Austrailia got started?

*Note to self*
When I am Prime Minister, and appointing my Home Secretary, find out if said Home Secretary candidate ever played NationStates under name "Fimbulvet". If so, be sure to never, ever, ever, EVER give said candidate any responsibility in my government.
*End note*
You're just jealous of my wicked-awesome plan.

Are you going to build housing for all the people who live in the slum you're bulldozing?

You're just jealous of my wicked-awesome plan.
I'm in awe at the wickedness (old-school meaning) of your plan.
Does that count?
Eh?
Eh?

BRING IT ON!

what about the female lifers? I got some ideas!

I'd like to see one just for white collar criminals, like Ken Lay. Let's gove him a shield and a shortsword and match him against John Poindexter, one of the (convicted!) Iran-Contra felons.

I know how to deal with prison overpopulation: send 'em to me! I'll teach em to farm, herd and milk goats, and lay irrigation lines.. and I'll even feed em occasionally! Can't beat that! ;)

The solution is simply to adopt Utilitarianism. Kill off all the elderly, handicapped, felons and slackers in society. Things will run better then right?
Hey, while we're at it, why not include right wingers? Mill was a vicious guy.

Where are you going to get all the dolls, trading cards and such without cheap prison labor?

Hey howsabout this idea? Let's put EVERYONE in jail. Then people'd have to pay for the privilege of living securely in a controlled environment, albeit without human rights...oh wait a moment,

I just leaked the 2005 marketing campaign for America (TM), A wholly-owned subsidiary of Haliburton, Inc.

I guess I'll sleeping with the fishes tonight. My bad.

Are you going to build housing for all the people who live in the slum you're bulldozing?

(sarcasm) most of em would be in the arena anyway (end sarcasm)

Follow the above plan but instead of bulldozing a slum, buy Madagascar and plant cameras all over the place. Start up a 24 hr cable channel and online pay service to view. Drop confiscated weapons there every once in a while. We could use it for Naval artillery practice just to really mess w/ them. Allow hunting parties (w/ REALLY expensive pricetags) to go and hunt the real nasties. Have other nations pay to drop their prisoners/undesirables there as well.

Not bad, but how about adding in a game based on The Running Man, one of the California Governor's old movies, or Manhunt, if you're familiar with the game.

The contestants, about five to ten at a time, are put into an arena resembling an abandoned town. They must survive for 48 hours while being hunted by other inmates, or maybe some of the better tournaments fighters from the arena. If you want to milk the game for all its worth, use Army squads instead to give them some real-world killing experience.

(sarcasm) most of em would be in the arena anyway (end sarcasm)

Follow the above plan but instead of bulldozing a slum, buy Madagascar and plant cameras all over the place. Start up a 24 hr cable channel and online pay service to view. Drop confiscated weapons there every once in a while. We could use it for Naval artillery practice just to really mess w/ them. Allow hunting parties (w/ REALLY expensive pricetags) to go and hunt the real nasties. Have other nations pay to drop their prisoners/undesirables there as well.There should be some kind of intelligence test you have to pass to post on this forum. Those that score in the junior-high-locker-room-humor-is-hilarious range should be relegated to a seperate training area. When they mature they can come talk with the grown ups.

(sarcasm) most of em would be in the arena anyway (end sarcasm)

Follow the above plan but instead of bulldozing a slum, buy Madagascar and plant cameras all over the place. Start up a 24 hr cable channel and online pay service to view. Drop confiscated weapons there every once in a while. We could use it for Naval artillery practice just to really mess w/ them. Allow hunting parties (w/ REALLY expensive pricetags) to go and hunt the real nasties. Have other nations pay to drop their prisoners/undesirables there as well.CAll it "The Real SUrvivor" and have it produced by Mark Burnett, and hosted by Courtney Love, Gary Coleman and Carrot Top, then have the survivors turn on the hosts and eat them.

There should be some kind of intelligence test you have to pass to post on this forum. Those that score in the junior-high-locker-room-humor-is-hilarious range should be relegated to a seperate training area. When they mature they can come talk with the grown ups.

Then we'll see you in a few years.

Then we'll see you in a few years.
Not likely, even then, the test will still probably be skewed to weed out people like him.