NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide

Enjoy.

*bump*

Well I must say, maddox has been, still is, and always will be the man.

this one looks to be ok, but did you have to link us to it?

Maddox has become quite cliche, with a bunch of our nerds quoting him all the time, I get pissed off.

He aint that funny.
Except for his article on real men. That was awesome!

I personally like the "Headbutting the Sidewalk Method", and its additional breakup method.

Headbutt the sidewalk:
Manliness: 10 Style: 3 Awesomeness: 10 Mess: 4


What you need: a sidewalk.

How to do it:


Step 1: Slam your head into the sidewalk.
Step 2: Repeat.

Headbutting is probably the manliest thing ever. Not only is it useful for suicide, it's also a great way to break up with your girlfriend. For example, I couldn't find the words to tell my ex that our relationship was over, so one day while we were watching TV I headbutt her in the tits. Then I picked up my jacket and left. No awkward goodbyes, no "still friends" bullshit. Just a couple of bruised titties and a failed relationship. I rule.

this one looks to be ok, but did you have to link us to it?
As opposed to letting people wander around for a couple of minutes to find it?

As opposed to letting people wander around for a couple of minutes to find it?

Exactly. If you don't know about Maddox, your a huge loser. If you do, you'll go there and check it out for new articles. We dont need the middle man.
Plus, he's not all that great anyway, link us to something good that everybody hasn't seen.

Exactly. If you don't know about Maddox, your a huge loser. If you do, you'll go there and check it out for new articles. We dont need the middle man. Plus, he's not all that great anyway, link us to something good that everybody hasn't seen.
Well, I'd link a picture of myself but I don't have a digital camera. ;)

I once found a website listing a huge number of suicide methods, that analysed the effectiveness and painfulness of each. A surprising number of common methods are not very reliable, or reliable but very slow and painful. I won't tell you the method that is extremely reliable and quick (there might be suicidal people reading this), but I would recommend anyone considering self-killing as a solution to their problems to reconsider.
Sorry to anyone who finds this post too serious, but some things ARE serious.

On a lighter note, does everyone know about the Darwin awards?

I once found a website listing a huge number of suicide methods, that analysed the effectiveness and painfulness of each. A surprising number of common methods are not very reliable, or reliable but very slow and painful. I won't tell you the method that is extremely reliable and quick (there might be suicidal people reading this), but I would recommend anyone considering self-killing as a solution to their problems to reconsider.
Sorry to anyone who finds this post too serious, but some things ARE serious.

On a lighter note, does everyone know about the Darwin awards?

I've been to that site (I think, unless there's more than one... which is... pretty likely...). They aren't *totally* reliable, to be honest. Although I found the information on codeine overdosing useful (it takes about 330mg to overdose... the over-the-counter painkillers you can get only contain about 3mg... so I saved myself a lot of trouble).

People who consider suicide should take a page from my book: Get everything you'll need, and then wait a week. Getting the stuff ready calms you down, and usually a week is long enough to help get out of serious depression.

Then again, there are other methods that work better... but, you know, I think I'll stop rambling now.

I once found a website listing a huge number of suicide methods, that analysed the effectiveness and painfulness of each. A surprising number of common methods are not very reliable, or reliable but very slow and painful.

Two probable choices, there... Either
Alt.Suicide.holiday (http://ash.spaink.net/), a long-deceased newsgroup.
The Guides (http://ash.spaink.net/nazguides.html)

or, their more radical offshoot.
ash busstop (http://ashbusstop.org/).

On a lighter note, does everyone know about the Darwin awards?
Those are hilarious. :D

Meh. Not very impressed. I liked his O'Reilly bit, though.

That site is great.

Why wont this thread die!
Actually I dont care.

Good stuff. The hooker one was the best.
By the way, if you really want to be tough, walk into Yellowstone, find some bear cubs, and proceed to beat them with a stick. Then wrestle their mother.

There is nothing "manly" about suicide, it's a cowards act, not a real man's or woman's for that matter.

Most of his stuff is fairly funny.

Every now and then he'll totally suck, but it's USUALLY humerous.

Most of his stuff is fairly funny.

Every now and then he'll totally suck, but it's USUALLY humerous.

Almost all of his crap is funny, but it's still crap.

I like the abortion one and the Real Men one. Gregory Peck... what a man.
He's funny, but he aint special. Oh and Steph, lighten up, it's a joke.

Maddox isn't that funny. I really don't see what the big deal over him is. He might say something that has a bit of truth to it, and present it in a way that can come across as being on the humorous side - but Jesus Christ, he isn't a superstar.

Maddox isn't that funny. I really don't see what the big deal over him is. He might say something that has a bit of truth to it, and present it in a way that can come across as being on the humorous side - but Jesus Christ, he isn't a superstar.

THAT'S what bugs me.

I mean, he has a funny website. That's nice. I find Something Awful to be rather funny at times, I don't worship it :p

There is nothing "manly" about suicide, it's a cowards act, not a real man's or woman's for that matter.

Umm... you do realise that saying something like this on a board where many people might actually have suicidal thoughts occasionally isn't a good idea right? Because... telling people... who already have low self-esteem... that they're cowards is.... bad...

Right?

Anyway, Maddox agrees with you - it's actually satire. Hence the 'if any of you actually are suicidal, I hope you find this guide unhelpful' thing at the end.

Umm... you do realise that saying something like this on a board where many people might actually have suicidal thoughts occasionally isn't a good idea right? Because... telling people... who already have low self-esteem... that they're cowards is.... bad...
Someone killing himself over what someone posts on a sillly forum is slightly less idiotic than killing himself over a silly website.

Someone killing himself over what someone posts on a sillly forum is slightly less idiotic than killing himself over a silly website.

Well, I meant saying it in general. It's unlikely anyone would think 'oh noes, the internet thinks I suck! death now!'. But it's likely a whole bunch of people would start thinking they're cowards for feeling depressed.

Plus, you'd be surprised how many people have zero problem saying this sort of stuff to their friends, not to mention the shit that people say to casual aquaintences.

And have you ever heard the whole 'if you tell someone they're stupid enough times, they'll believe it' saying?

Yeah, there's that too.