CRACKPIE
26-10-2004, 23:56
(to the melody of eminem's "the real Slim Shady")
May i have your attention please?
May i have your attention please?
Will the real Dick Cheney please stand up?
I repeat, will the Dick Cheney shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..
Y'all act like you never witnessed a heart attack before
Jaws all on the floor like George, like laura just burst in the door
And started bitching her ass of worse than before
about how she wants divorce, throwin him over furniture (ahh!)
It's the return of the... "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
yes Mr Bush said... nothing you idiots!
the man is brain dead, he's rotting in my basement! (ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Mr Cheney {*vocal turntable:
Chigga chigga chigga*} "Dick Cheney, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around saying you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "yeah, but he's so evil though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in common, decent peoples bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get in there and let loose, but can't
But John Ashcroft’s workin on fixin that
"My tombstone’s in the ballot, my tombstone’s in the ballot"
And if i'm lucky, you might just elect it over Ashcroft
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know that the man a fascist is
Of course they gonna know he’s a nazi
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got cbs don't they?
"we ain't nothing but mammals.." well, some of us cannibals
like Anne coulter that wants to eat al liberals {*slurp*}
But if we can put dead men on the ballot and elect ‘em
Then there's no reason that my daughter and another woman cant elope
{*whee!*} but if you feel like i feel, i got the antidote
wave around your elephants, sing the chorus and it goes
Chorus: (repeat 2x)
I'm Dick Cheney, yes i'm the real Cheney
All you other Dick Cheneys are just imitating
So won't the real Dick Cheney please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
[eminem]
John Kerry don't gotta cuss in his speeches to get votes;
Well i do, so *bleep* him and *bleep* you too!
You think i give a damn about an election?
Half of you voters can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"but Dick, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? Cuz I so didn’t rig florida again right?
So you can, sit me here next jeb Bush?
Shit, Colin powell better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Tom Ridge and Condi rice
And hear 'em argue over who’s atoms to splice
You little bitch, exposed us to the commission on tv
"yeah, sorry Wolf, I forgot the documents were old teehee!"
I should download her video on my cpu
like the one with Anne coulter getting pied at of Arizona U {*whohoo!*}
I'm sick of you moveon and other groups, all you do is annoy me
So i have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who’re bald like me; walk, talk and convulse like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Chorus
[eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause i'm only givin you
Things you bitch about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the Cash to back it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
that’s George’s only job, I admit it
And, your vote, whether youd like to submit it
matters not, cuz I’m fixing Florida to get ninety percent of you voters
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these lies like pies
It's funny; cause at the rate i'm goin when eighty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home survivvin’
three heart attacks a day and still jivin
all these surgeons aint helping, i'm convulsin
And every single person is a Dick Cheney lurkin
He could be workin at burger king, eatin all your onion rings
{*yum *} or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "i don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the Dick Cheney please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Chorus 2x
[cheney]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Dick Cheney in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
May i have your attention please?
May i have your attention please?
Will the real Dick Cheney please stand up?
I repeat, will the Dick Cheney shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..
Y'all act like you never witnessed a heart attack before
Jaws all on the floor like George, like laura just burst in the door
And started bitching her ass of worse than before
about how she wants divorce, throwin him over furniture (ahh!)
It's the return of the... "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
yes Mr Bush said... nothing you idiots!
the man is brain dead, he's rotting in my basement! (ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Mr Cheney {*vocal turntable:
Chigga chigga chigga*} "Dick Cheney, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around saying you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "yeah, but he's so evil though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in common, decent peoples bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get in there and let loose, but can't
But John Ashcroft’s workin on fixin that
"My tombstone’s in the ballot, my tombstone’s in the ballot"
And if i'm lucky, you might just elect it over Ashcroft
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know that the man a fascist is
Of course they gonna know he’s a nazi
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got cbs don't they?
"we ain't nothing but mammals.." well, some of us cannibals
like Anne coulter that wants to eat al liberals {*slurp*}
But if we can put dead men on the ballot and elect ‘em
Then there's no reason that my daughter and another woman cant elope
{*whee!*} but if you feel like i feel, i got the antidote
wave around your elephants, sing the chorus and it goes
Chorus: (repeat 2x)
I'm Dick Cheney, yes i'm the real Cheney
All you other Dick Cheneys are just imitating
So won't the real Dick Cheney please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
[eminem]
John Kerry don't gotta cuss in his speeches to get votes;
Well i do, so *bleep* him and *bleep* you too!
You think i give a damn about an election?
Half of you voters can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"but Dick, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? Cuz I so didn’t rig florida again right?
So you can, sit me here next jeb Bush?
Shit, Colin powell better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Tom Ridge and Condi rice
And hear 'em argue over who’s atoms to splice
You little bitch, exposed us to the commission on tv
"yeah, sorry Wolf, I forgot the documents were old teehee!"
I should download her video on my cpu
like the one with Anne coulter getting pied at of Arizona U {*whohoo!*}
I'm sick of you moveon and other groups, all you do is annoy me
So i have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who’re bald like me; walk, talk and convulse like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Chorus
[eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause i'm only givin you
Things you bitch about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the Cash to back it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
that’s George’s only job, I admit it
And, your vote, whether youd like to submit it
matters not, cuz I’m fixing Florida to get ninety percent of you voters
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these lies like pies
It's funny; cause at the rate i'm goin when eighty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home survivvin’
three heart attacks a day and still jivin
all these surgeons aint helping, i'm convulsin
And every single person is a Dick Cheney lurkin
He could be workin at burger king, eatin all your onion rings
{*yum *} or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "i don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the Dick Cheney please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Chorus 2x
[cheney]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Dick Cheney in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up