NationStates Jolt Archive

Enter Kate & Princeton

"Say Kate, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, he's Trekkie Monster and you're Kate Monster."

"Right."

"You're both Monsters."

"Yeah."

"Are you two related?"

"What?!?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist."

"Well, I'm sorry. I was just asking."

"Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all Monsters are related. What are you trying to say, huh? That we all look the same to you?"

"NO! Oh, not at all! I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist."

"I should say so. You should be more careful when you're talking about the sensetive subject of race."

Music starts

"Well look who's talking!"

"What do you mean?"

"What about that special Monster school you told me about?"

"What about it?"

"Well, could someone like me go there?"

"No, we don't want people like you....."

"Ah HA! You see, you're a little bit racist."

"Well you're a little bit, too!"

"I guess we're both a little bit racist."

"Admitting it is not an easy thing to do."

"But I guess it's true."

"Between me and you, I think"

Both:

"Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes, it doesn't mean we go around commiting hate crimes! Look around and you will find, no one's really color blind; maybe it's a fact we all should face. Everyone makes judgements based on race."

"Now not big judgements like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from."

"No."

"No, just little judgements like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak God damn English!"

"Right!"

Both:

"Everyone's a little bit racist today. So everyone's a little bit racist, okay. Ethnic jokes might be uncouth, but you laugh because they're based on truth. Don't take them as personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them, so relax."

"Alright, stop me if you've heard this one."

"Okay"

"Alright, there's a plane going down."

"Uh-huh."

"There's only one parachute, and there's a Rabbi, a Priest,"

"And a Black guy!"

"Yeah!"

Enter Gary Coleman

"What you talkin 'bout, Kate?

"Uh........"

"You were telling a Black joke!"

"Well, sure Gary. But lot's of people tell Black jokes."

"I don't."

"Well, of course you don't, you're Black. But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?"

"Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!"

"Now don't you think that's a little racist?"

"Well, damn. I guess you're right."

"You're a little bit racist!"

"Well you're a little bit, too!"

"We're all a little bit racist!"

"I think that I would have to agree with you."

Princeton & Kate:

"We're glad you do!"

"It's sad, but true!"

"Everyone's a little bit racist, alright?"

"Alright."

"Alright."

"Alright! Bigotry has never been exclusively White!"

All:

"If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little bit. Even though we all know that it's wrong! Maybe it would help us get along."

"Aw, Christ do I feel good."

"Now there was fine upstanding Black man."

"Who?"

"Jesus Christ."

"But Gary, Jesus was White."

"No, Jesus was Black."

"No, Jesus was White."

"No, I'm pretty sure Jesus was Black."

"Guys, guys! Jesus was Jewish."

All laughing

Enter Brian

"Hey guys, what are you laughing about?"

"Racism!"

"Cool!"

Enter Christmas Eve with extreme Asian accent

"Brian, come back here! You take out recycleables!"

"What's that mean?"

"Um.....recyclables....."

Gary, Princeton, and Kate laughing

"Hey! Don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?"

"Oh, come off it Brian. Everyone's a little bit racist!"

"I'm not!"

"Oh, no?"

"NO! How many Oriental wives have you got!"

"What? Brian!"

"Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is 'Asian-American'"

"I know are no intending to be, but calling me 'Oriental', offensive to me."

"I'm sorry, honey. I love you!"

"And I love you."

"But, you're racist, too."

"Yes, I know. The Jews have all the money and the Whites have all the power, and I'm always in Taxi cab with driver who no shower!"

"Me, too!"

"Me, too!"

"I can't even get a Taxi!"

All:

"Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true. But everyone is just about as racist as you. If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little bit, and everyone stop being so PC, maybe we could live in harmony!"

"Everyone's a rittle bit lacist."

It's called ethnocentrism, and it's explained away by evolutionary theorists who claim it's part of basic human psyche to ensure the survival of a group.

Enter Kate & Princeton

"Say Kate, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, he's Trekkie Monster and you're Kate Monster."

"Right."

"You're both Monsters."

"Yeah."

"Are you two related?"

"What?!?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist."

"Well, I'm sorry. I was just asking."

"Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all Monsters are related. What are you trying to say, huh? That we all look the same to you?"

"NO! Oh, not at all! I'm sorry, I guess that was a little racist."

"I should say so. You should be more careful when you're talking about the sensetive subject of race."



Wait, How was that racist? That was nonsense. Because they have the same name that's racist? I'm sirry that has nothing to do with race.

Music starts

"Well look who's talking!"

"What do you mean?"

"What about that special Monster school you told me about?"

"What about it?"

"Well, could someone like me go there?"

"No, we don't want people like you....."

"Ah HA! You see, you're a little bit racist."

"Well you're a little bit, too!"

"I guess we're both a little bit racist."

"Admitting it is not an easy thing to do."

"But I guess it's true."

"Between me and you, I think"

Um, okay two racist...perfect...


Both:

"Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes, it doesn't mean we go around commiting hate crimes! Look around and you will find, no one's really color blind; maybe it's a fact we all should face. Everyone makes judgements based on race."

"Now not big judgements like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from."

"No."

"No, just little judgements like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak God damn English!"

"Right!"

Not everyone makes judgements based on race...

Both:

"Everyone's a little bit racist today. So everyone's a little bit racist, okay. Ethnic jokes might be uncouth, but you laugh because they're based on truth. Don't take them as personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them, so relax."

"Alright, stop me if you've heard this one."

"Okay"

"Alright, there's a plane going down."

"Uh-huh."

"There's only one parachute, and there's a Rabbi, a Priest,"

"And a Black guy!"

"Yeah!"

Not all ethnic jokes are truthful...


Enter Gary Coleman

"What you talkin 'bout, Kate?

"Uh........"

"You were telling a Black joke!"

"Well, sure Gary. But lot's of people tell Black jokes."

"I don't."

"Well, of course you don't, you're Black. But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?"

"Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!"

"Now don't you think that's a little racist?"

"Well, damn. I guess you're right."

"You're a little bit racist!"

"Well you're a little bit, too!"

"We're all a little bit racist!"

"I think that I would have to agree with you."

Being polack isn't racist unless nationality is a race...


Princeton & Kate:

"We're glad you do!"

"It's sad, but true!"

"Everyone's a little bit racist, alright?"

"Alright."

"Alright."

"Alright! Bigotry has never been exclusively White!"

All:

"If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little bit. Even though we all know that it's wrong! Maybe it would help us get along."

"Aw, Christ do I feel good."

"Now there was fine upstanding Black man."

"Who?"

"Jesus Christ."

"But Gary, Jesus was White."

"No, Jesus was Black."

"No, Jesus was White."

"No, I'm pretty sure Jesus was Black."

"Guys, guys! Jesus was Jewish."

All laughing

Enter Brian

"Hey guys, what are you laughing about?"

"Racism!"

"Cool!"

Enter Christmas Eve with extreme Asian accent

"Brian, come back here! You take out recycleables!"

"What's that mean?"

"Um.....recyclables....."

Gary, Princeton, and Kate laughing

"Hey! Don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?"

"Oh, come off it Brian. Everyone's a little bit racist!"

"I'm not!"

"Oh, no?"

"NO! How many Oriental wives have you got!"

"What? Brian!"

"Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is 'Asian-American'"

"I know are no intending to be, but calling me 'Oriental', offensive to me."

"I'm sorry, honey. I love you!"

"And I love you."

"But, you're racist, too."

"Yes, I know. The Jews have all the money and the Whites have all the power, and I'm always in Taxi cab with driver who no shower!"

"Me, too!"

"Me, too!"

"I can't even get a Taxi!"

All:

"Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true. But everyone is just about as racist as you. If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little bit, and everyone stop being so PC, maybe we could live in harmony!"

"Everyone's a rittle bit lacist."


Since I've shown that not everyone is racist....no one needs to admit a lie.
We wouldn't live in harmony if everyone was...

"Oriental" is racist? I mean, I don't hear it used very often, but I never imagined that anyone considered it racist.

Okay, usually when I re-type things word for word people know what I'm quoting, but I guess this isn't as well known as Red Vs. Blue.

This is an excerpt from the play Avenue Q which is currently on Broadway and funny as hell. I guess when it's typed and the woman dressed as Gary Coleman and people with puppets aren't seen it losses some of the impact.

What......the.......Hell? That was the most stupidest mindless drivel I have ever read in my entire life! Jesus Christ!

Okay, that's it! From now on I stick to just quoting Red Vs. Blue, people at least laugh when I type that stuff!

Wait, How was that racist? That was nonsense. Because they have the same name that's racist? I'm sirry that has nothing to do with race.

Um, okay two racist...perfect...


Not everyone makes judgements based on race...

Not all ethnic jokes are truthful...


Being polack isn't racist unless nationality is a race...




Since I've shown that not everyone is racist....no one needs to admit a lie.
We wouldn't live in harmony if everyone was...

Oh, come off it....it has a good point, and it's funny.

If a chinese person got plastic surgery to make himself look American, would that procedure be called 'disorientation'?

If a chinese person got plastic surgery to make himself look American, would that procedure be called 'disorientation'?
LOL

If a person is mixed race can they still be racist? Cause then they would hate a little bit of themself.

If a chinese person got plastic surgery to make himself look American, would that procedure be called 'disorientation'?

Why should it matter how someone looks? They're still Asian.

If a person is mixed race can they still be racist? Cause then they would hate a little bit of themself.

I'm mixed race (1/2 White, 1/2 Asian) and I'm not racist. However, I guess it WOULD be possible if I really wanted to hate myself halfway.........

If an African person calls me Engllishman, is that being racist.
If i (being an Englishman) call an African an African is that being racist.
If i call an American an American is that being racist.
What is race? Is it a love of your country.Is it a love of your colour.
Why am i not allowed to call Pakistani person a Paki is it not just a shortening of the word Pakistani.
I have been called a honky by Black and Asian people who have used a lot of hate in the use of the word but i havn't taken any action over the use of that word.
Every race has a word to describe other races.
Why is it when i walk in on a couple of Italian, African, Indian, Greek, Spanish etc, people do they Change from talking perfect English to their own language . Isn't that a form of Racism. I don't think so it's just a lack of respect.

Hmpf?

I tend to think everybody has prejudice.

Not everybody is racist.

You are really thinking to much into this. This is a song from a play with Gary Coleman, puppets having sex, and a Gay Republican Investment Banker. Don't analyse it, just laugh

I'm mixed race (1/2 White, 1/2 Asian) and I'm not racist. However, I guess it WOULD be possible if I really wanted to hate myself halfway.........
I know several Mixed race people, they always (to my knowledge) call themselves Black, White, Asian not one of them calls themselves mixed race.

Dear Gawd, people!

It's a funny! he made a funny! laugh, damnit!

Yeah, it was pretty damn funny, Klonor.

LG: I could only hope it'd be called disorientation.

You are really thinking to much into this. This is a song from a play with Gary Coleman, puppets having sex, and a Gay Republican Investment Banker. Don't analyse it, just laugh
I am sorry but the issue of race is always important when i, as a white English person call another race a name, but does not seem to be when they call me a derogatary name.

man, the sticks up some of your asses must have sticks up their asses. stop being so defensive and pc and just appreciate the joke as is. i mean, the soundtrack includes songs entitled "the internet is for porn" and "it sucks to be me".

however, i must admit reading the lyrics alone does put everything slightly out of context... without the music and voices and stuff. it's definitely much funnier in song.

I know several Mixed race people, they always (to my knowledge) call themselves Black, White, Asian not one of them calls themselves mixed race.

I don't actually refer to myself as 'mixed' in conversation. I was merely responding to what someone else said in a way that would identify with their question.

I know, I realised it as soon as I posted it.

See, I usually copy down episodes of Red Vs Blue, the internet web-series. Each entire episode is about 5 minutes long (the same as this song) and pretty much self contained (at least the ones I post are) and thus everybody reads it and laughs like. I then thought "Hey, Avenue Q rocks, I'll try that!"

People didn't laugh

I know several Mixed race people, they always (to my knowledge) call themselves Black, White, Asian not one of them calls themselves mixed race.
That's very true, I've seen that a lot in many of my mixed race friends. I think a lot of it is pride, or feeling like they need to fit in somewhere. However, I personally couldn't give a rat's ass about race. I happen to be very multiracial. When someone asks me what race I am I say "a bunch of shit". I can't stand affirmative action or the push for reparations. I hate separatist racial movements. And I hate solid racists, white supremacists, and neoNazis with a passion that I rarely feel about much else. If everyone stopped being such assholes about race we would all probably get along much better.

hey klonor, are you in the city? maybe we could hang out some time and laugh at all the heartbreak of poor dear oppressed majority. after all, schadenfreude is part of human nature right?

Ooh ooh, I laughed, I thought it was funny :D

I found the responses even funnier, no wonder the world is going to pot, no one seems to be able to laugh anymore. What a sad state of affairs.

By the way, I'd like to point out that racism is not synonomous with hate.

According the Concise Oxford English Dictionary 10ed:
Racism n. 1 the belief that there are characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to each race. 2 discrimination against or antagonism towards other races.

You'll note that the first and therefore most common definition has nothing about hatred at all.

Now altogether everyone, take a breath, relax, consider if you have any ideas relating to things specific to a race, bet you do.

Yes, it's funny because it's true and because people still can't admit it.