NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, here's the thing:
I am a Christian, and this has been troubling me greatly. I have been struggling over the past couple of years because I slowly realized that I am bisexual, looking at some girls the same way I do guys. I've tried to stop myself, but it isn't working out too well.
Especially now, when it is so great an issue, and I cannot speak a word of it to anyone I know in my close-knit town. My own mother has said many times that she does not support homosexuals in any way, shape, or form. I really just don't know what to do now that these things come up in regular conversation at school, and I just want to say what I think and cannot do so in a way that I won't reveal myself to others.
If anyone could offer me any help or advice in this time of my need, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
-J. Hurd

If you're asking for advice in Nationstates General you need more help then just some advice. :D

masturbate your ass off and never look at other guys.

Renounce your 2000 year old Middle Eastern religion.

All your problems will go away.

I promise.

Move.

If you are really a faithful Christian, then I have suggestion that might help.
Ignore your mother's opinion.
Ignore your pastor's/priest's/bishop/whatever's opinion.
Now remember the 12 apostles.
Remeber that these guys who Christ (your savior if you are a Christian) choose to hang with, were the bad guys.
The outsiders.
The sinners.
He did not preach, he led by example--
Tolerance was his example.
Let it go, and remember that your relationship with God is yours and no one elses.

well, first of all, i would relax.

as a good christian girl you arent going to be ACTING on these urges, meaning having sex, any time soon.

so you have PLENTY of time to sort our your feelings.

i dont know how old you are, but if you are YOUNG, its going to take a while to figure things out. the sudden flood of hormones through your system can make you horny for all kinds of freaky things. after a while you will come to know what ones are "real" and what are just nasty thoughts that will stay in your head.

you may in fact be a lesbian. *shrug* as a woman you can still marry a man and have children while being gay but you will never truly be happy denying yourself

if you ARE bisexual, well, you are going to have to CHOOSE arent you? there is NO place in a stable relationship for outside sex with people of the opposite gender from your mate. so you will have to choose ONE person and stick with him/her. you can find a christian denomination that will let you marry a woman but not one that will approve of you marrying a woman but having a boyfriend on the side.

so anyway, DONT PANIC, let things ride for a while to see where these feelings lead you. and if there are free counsilors in your school/community, see if you can get into talk to one, they are non judgemental and its probaby a relief to them to talk to someone who isnt in crisis. check first to make sure that they can maintain confidentiality from your parents. they know stuff and can really help you sort out your feelings.

How long do you have to wait before you go to college? When you do go, go somewhere a good distance away, preferably over 3-4 hour drive, prefereably in another state, preferably in a big school. You'll probably find that most people are far more open-minded. :)
Also, what branch of Christianity are you? Many Protestant branches are quite accepting of gay/lesbian/bisexual people. In the meantime, unless you have a very strong character, I would suggest laying low about this until you can get away and live somewhere else. After you experience more of the rest of the country/world, then you might feel more comfortable telling your parents. You might be surprised, and their attitudes may change. Then again, they may not, but that's one of the risks to be taken.
This isn't a position I've ever been in, but I'm tryin to help out the best I can. :)

Alright first, are you a girl or guy. I have a bisexaul friend, actually i just founf out she was bi just this year, its a little weird but if your friends and family love you they will except you, there is no need to hide what you truley feel. As for christian views, you can be a christian and a bi, just not an orthodox christian, catholics dont support homosexuality but they dont reject you for being one. Just do what you feel is best, DONT HIDE!!

Okay, here's the thing:
I am a Christian, and this has been troubling me greatly. I have been struggling over the past couple of years because I slowly realized that I am bisexual, looking at some girls the same way I do guys. I've tried to stop myself, but it isn't working out too well.
Especially now, when it is so great an issue, and I cannot speak a word of it to anyone I know in my close-knit town. My own mother has said many times that she does not support homosexuals in any way, shape, or form. I really just don't know what to do now that these things come up in regular conversation at school, and I just want to say what I think and cannot do so in a way that I won't reveal myself to others.
If anyone could offer me any help or advice in this time of my need, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
-J. Hurd


Well the Bible doesn't condemn lesbian activity. So you're okay. Just don't talk about it to people it would offend.

I can't speak for what you're feeling, but I can assure you that "looking at girls the same way as you look at boys" does not necessarily mean you are bi!

It's okay to be attracted to people of any gender even if you're straight. Especially if they go out of their way to be attractive people.

The decision of whether you are bi are not should be reserved for when and if you're ready to initiate an intimate relationship. So if you're not at that point yet, I say don't sweat it.

Well the Bible doesn't condemn lesbian activity. So you're okay. Just don't talk about it to people it would offend.
Lesbians = good
Gay Men = bad

Thus spoke Jesus. :p

Okay, here's the thing:
I am a Christian, and this has been troubling me greatly. I have been struggling over the past couple of years because I slowly realized that I am bisexual, looking at some girls the same way I do guys. I've tried to stop myself, but it isn't working out too well.
Especially now, when it is so great an issue, and I cannot speak a word of it to anyone I know in my close-knit town. My own mother has said many times that she does not support homosexuals in any way, shape, or form. I really just don't know what to do now that these things come up in regular conversation at school, and I just want to say what I think and cannot do so in a way that I won't reveal myself to others.
If anyone could offer me any help or advice in this time of my need, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
-J. HurdI'm not a christian, so I'd tell you that I don't think its wrong. Even if I were a christian, I don't think theres anything in the Bible that'll tell you that its a sin. And even if you chose to abstract a point about female bisexuality from the Bible (a topic on which it says nothing), I don't think that you can construe only thinking about it as a sin. So I suggest that you take a while to come to grips with this before you take any action, and if you're confused, ask God for an answer. There's no way that any god, no matter what faith you're from, would put a challenge like this in front of you and refuse to give you guidance when you ask for it.

If you are really a faithful Christian, then I have suggestion that might help.
Ignore your mother's opinion.
Ignore your pastor's/priest's/bishop/whatever's opinion.
Now remember the 12 apostles.
Remeber that these guys who Christ (your savior if you are a Christian) choose to hang with, were the bad guys.
The outsiders.
The sinners.
He did not preach, he led by example--
Tolerance was his example.
Let it go, and remember that your relationship with God is yours and no one elses.
This is a good point to remember. God's love has never been said to be reserved only for those who are pure.

www.elroy.net

However, when superior and inferior people come face to face with the living God, the difference between them become irrelevant, or at least they should. When God said that all of us have fallen short of His glory, and are guilty of sins before Him, He placed us in an equal category - a category of irrevocable need. When God, through the death and resurrection of Christ, extended His hand of hope to this needy human family, He extended it to everyone, the "superior" and "inferior" alike. This is grace, and anyone who wants it can have it.

This guy has some great stuff to say about the difference between the true message of christianity and the soundbites that often get peddaled. This quote is from an essay called "The Fascism of Modern Churches"

Lesbians = good
Gay Men = bad

Thus spoke Jesus. :p

More like,

Gay Men's sexual activity = Bad

Lesbian activity = not mentioned

The Bible Speaks thusly.

Don't shoot the messenger. :mp5:

Get out of redneck christianville and move to a big city for college or a coastal state and your problems will disappear. If you already live in an area like that then just forget about what your mom thinks and do what makes you happy. Repressing urges never works no matter how much you believe in a religion. Forget about religion.

Hey, that's bad man. I wish people could accept others no matter what. be bi and be proud. However, since your mother seems rather religous, you might wanna keep the fact that you're bi from her until you're out of the house. Because it'll be hell if you don't, all she'll do it bother you day and night "You done bein' gay?" stuff like that.

If "god" made you a bisexual then it is kind of his fault isn't it? Why don't you just have a lifetime of bisexual hedonism and then repent on your deathbed? Jesus is a sucker.

I am a male, almost in your same position. However, I already told my parents that I was interested in men.

You know what my mom said? She said... "Ok, I love you." And that is how a true loving parent shall act. Now... my mother probably isn't as religious as yours. (However my grandfather constantly reminds me how I'm going to hell for not being baptised, so if/when he finds out I like guys too, he'll really be on my case). I suggest keeping it hush-hush to yourself.

If you really think that is something wrong with it, and trust me there isn't, why not try to find more feminine guys? Hell, I know guys, totally straight, who practically look like girls. That will most likely not satisfy you in the end however. Er.. well, I do suggest to follow your heart and soul, and keep your eyes filled with hope whichever direction you take.

Just a question... are you sure YOU are Christian? Perhaps you were born that way, but maybe you have diverted? There is nothing wrong with that of course, I'm just saying maybe you could discover yourself in a new religion? That may take some of the stress away from being who you are.

Just a question... are you sure YOU are Christian? Perhaps you were born that way, but maybe you have diverted? There is nothing wrong with that of course, I'm just saying maybe you could discover yourself in a new religion? That may take some of the stress away from being who you are.
I'd agree with this. I'm not trying to get you to convert to something else, but this might be the time to think about both your religion and your sexuality, and try to come to some kind of resolution between them.

As a Christian, I am inclined to not suggest that you abandon your faith because someone has misinformed you as to how you should view your relationship with God.
Your guilt is coming from what other people are telling you.
SO let me, another person tell you some things.
I already said I was a Christian.
I do not believe I am going to hell.
Now since you are worried about what is going on in your head, I will share some of what is going in mine that one might say God would hold against me.
I have bisexual attraction-not true attraction however, gutteral flesh on flesh skin on skin porn attraction.
While I do not believe God holds that against me, I am not truly enchanted with sex with a man as I am another kind of sex, just want a new orgasm--feel me? Since I know I am not Homosexual I do not act on those urges(that and my wife thinks guy on guy is yucky).
I have a violent temper and often react physically before my good sense can stop me--I again do not believe God condemns me for this--I think He might like me to excercise some self control.
I make every effort to.
I find myself occasionally being racist(intolerant) I do not beleive God condemns me for this, I think he would like me to be more mindful of my prejudices so they dont run away with my good judgement.
I work very hard at being tolerant-- and rising above my own ignorance.

DO not let the ignorance of others who would USE God as a tool for their own fears and prejudices make you question yourself, your faith, or your own goodness.
As I said in my other post-Your relationship with God is yours and yours alone.
A better line which I will steal, is : Faith is what you make it.

I'd agree with this. I'm not trying to get you to convert to something else, but this might be the time to think about both your religion and your sexuality, and try to come to some kind of resolution between them.

I agree with this...um...for the most part. As someone who turned away from christianity in disgust, you probebly don't wanna hear the rest ^_^;;;

If you're asking for advice in Nationstates General you need more help then just some advice. :D
Renounce your 2000 year old Middle Eastern religion.

All your problems will go away.

I promise.
If "god" made you a bisexual then it is kind of his fault isn't it? Why don't you just have a lifetime of bisexual hedonism and then repent on your deathbed? Jesus is a sucker.
My goodness. Can you people hear yourselves? Someone comes to ask for help- not even heavy lifting mind, just advice- and THIS is what you offer? Renounce your faith? Renounce your whole religion? Insults? I can only hope people show you the same goodwill when you're in need of help. 'Yes, I'm terrified of my mother finding out that a part of me violates her beliefs, if I abandon the whole system, she'll surely come to understand!'

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Girdinloch- much as I hate to say it, your best course of action may be to stay silent, hard as that is, for the time being. Though I don't advocate lying to those you love, living at home without the ability to move out puts you in a very difficult position. Though it wasn't about sexual orientation, I spent nine years fighting with my parents over my refusal to conform to their moral stances, and that's something it's usually best to avoid. You're going to go through a tough time with this, and I hope that, when the time comes, you'll be able to tell your parents and they'll accept it. In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck.

What you should do all depends on what you want to do. Do you want to go to college, and if so, do you need your parents to finance it? If so, right now probably isn't the right time to alienate them.

My last girlfriend was bi, and had parents who she thought might have disowned her had they known we were going out. So we were out with our friends, but when it came to her parents we were very much closeted. Now she's free, away at college and having a great time. She's totally out there, and there is no way for her parents to find out and withdraw their support unless she chooses to tell them.

I'm not advocating staying closeted, but sometimes it's the only option, and that is understandable. Sometimes you just have to consider the practicalities. You have to decide for yourself what works best in your situation, because it's your decision to make, and only you know all of the details pertinent to you situation.

I don't know just how small, or how anti-gay, your town or your school is, but if your school has one, you should consider joining it's Gay Straight Alliance. The people there would be able to give you better advice as to your particular situation. Also, most counseling services are confidential.

Good luck.

My goodness. Can you people hear yourselves? Someone comes to ask for help- not even heavy lifting mind, just advice- and THIS is what you offer? Renounce your faith? Renounce your whole religion? Insults? I can only hope people show you the same goodwill when you're in need of help. 'Yes, I'm terrified of my mother finding out that a part of me violates her beliefs, if I abandon the whole system, she'll surely come to understand!'

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Girdinloch- much as I hate to say it, your best course of action may be to stay silent, hard as that is, for the time being. Though I don't advocate lying to those you love, living at home without the ability to move out puts you in a very difficult position. Though it wasn't about sexual orientation, I spent nine years fighting with my parents over my refusal to conform to their moral stances, and that's something it's usually best to avoid. You're going to go through a tough time with this, and I hope that, when the time comes, you'll be able to tell your parents and they'll accept it. In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck.


What do I have to be "ashamed" of. YOu can engage in lesbian activity all you want. It's not a sin.

Probably shouldn't boast about it to your mother though. That whole fifth commandment thing (unless you're a catholic then I think it's the 4th).

If anyone could offer me any help or advice in this time of my need, it would be greatly appreciated.Ok, such as it is:

Staying closeted is an option, and it may well be your best option.

You can come out to someone supportive (if you can find such a person), without coming out to everyone.

My university was fairly queer-friendly. I supect this is true of colleges in general.

I also found a couple of links:
http://www.pflag.org/support/gay.html
http://dmoz.org/Society/Gay,_Lesbian,_and_Bisexual/Coming_Out/
They'll tend to be gay-specific :-(.

You'll probably find good advice in the soc.support.youth.gay-lesbian-bi archives (http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&group=soc.support.youth.gay-lesbian-bi) (I haven't looked through it myself, so I don't know for sure).

What do I have to be "ashamed" of. YOu can engage in lesbian activity all you want. It's not a sin.

Probably shouldn't boast about it to your mother though. That whole fifth commandment thing (unless you're a catholic then I think it's the 4th).
You misunderstand. That comment was directed at those who insulted and derided Girdinloch when she asked for help, not those of you whose attractions differ from the norm. My apologies if that wasn't clear.

You misunderstand. That comment was directed at those who insulted and derided Girdinloch when she asked for help, not those of you whose attractions differ from the norm. My apologies if that wasn't clear.

Sorry, my bad then, but just so you know I'm not a lesbian. I was just pointing out that it wasn't a sin and she therefore should not feel bad about it because she is a christian.

YOu can engage in lesbian activity all you want. It's not a sin.
Is watching lesbo porn (even though most likely the actresses are actually straight) still a sin then?

If you are really a faithful Christian, then I have suggestion that might help.
Ignore your mother's opinion.
Ignore your pastor's/priest's/bishop/whatever's opinion.
Now remember the 12 apostles.
Remeber that these guys who Christ (your savior if you are a Christian) choose to hang with, were the bad guys.
The outsiders.
The sinners.
He did not preach, he led by example--
Tolerance was his example.
Let it go, and remember that your relationship with God is yours and no one elses.

amen. i was gonna write the excat same thing, but kuckily I decided to not be an asshole this tiime and read the previous posts.

Oh man, I am like the only one saying this. BUT I'm going to say it anyway. (it needs to be said)

If you are really a Christian, then tell God about your problem. (or whatever you chose to call it)
I am a Christian, and when I started reading what other people were saying about "just wait till you can leave your parents..." and stuff like that I couldn't help thinking that that is (in my oppinion) just about THE worst advice anyone could ever give you.

Christians aren't perfect, I sin everyday. But when I notice I'm doing the same thing over and over I pray and ask God for help.
He will and can help you.
If you feel in your heart, that this is a sin, then it will haunt you forever. UNLESS you ask for help. You did ask for help, but you need God's help, not my help, or any other person's help.
People can help, but it's really God who is going to have to do it.

Don't give up your faith! Christ came to save the sinners, not the perfect people. (and it's a good thing He didn't because I'm not perfect or even close to it!)

As far as telling your parents, I don't really see how you could do that. I really don't. Which is partly why I am offering this oppinion. The other reason is that I feel that all the other advice is wrong.

That's just the way I feel, and if you are a true Christian then I hope that's the way you feel to.

I just want to say that I probably won't check back here so anyone who is considering yelling at me, don't bother because I won't be here to read it.

I have had a lot of problems, and I'm still young. But I have always been able to be forgiven.

I hope this helps, and no matter what you deside to do, at least this option will have been said.

Is watching lesbo porn (even though most likely the actresses are actually straight) still a sin then?

Well, yeah, if you're a man. (Matthew 5:28 KJV 1611). Duh.

People can help, but it's really God who is going to have to do it.


I'm sorry to be such a thorn, but why is God going to have to do something? It's not his problem. Why throw your faith to him when you, a perfectly fine human being, can put faith in yourself? I think you can over come anything if you believe in the power of the individual. There is nothing greater than the power of the human spirit and hope.

I'm sorry again, I'm not religious (anymore), and I realise I could be offending people, I'm just trying to help someone who is stuck in a similar situation that I was in. All I know is that I had to turn to myself, I had to gain the courage, I had to overcome. Not God, ME. In the end, everything turned out ok because I was an outstanding individual who didn't give in to anyone of any belief, I was myself.

I'm sorry to be such a thorn, but why is God going to have to do something? It's not his problem. Why throw your faith to him when you, a perfectly fine human being, can put faith in yourself? I think you can over come anything if you believe in the power of the individual. There is nothing greater than the power of the human spirit and hope.

I'm sorry again, I'm not religious (anymore), and I realise I could be offending people, I'm just trying to help someone who is stuck in a similar situation that I was in. All I know is that I had to turn to myself, I had to gain the courage, I had to overcome. Not God, ME. In the end, everything turned out ok because I was an outstanding individual who didn't give in to anyone of any belief, I was myself.
The point is that the person asking for help is religious.
Which it may be easy for someone who is not religious to say "Forget God", that would be like me asking you to:forget the Sun, forget your MOther and Father, etc etc you get teh idea.
If she is having a crisis of faith she deserves the option of owning her faith and not having it be that she either gives it up or bows down to the will of what other people say her faith should be.
And Sacred Knights, God did help you, he helps those who help themselves.

"My goodness. Can you people hear yourselves? Someone comes to ask for help- not even heavy lifting mind, just advice- and THIS is what you offer? Renounce your faith? Renounce your whole religion? Insults? I can only hope people show you the same goodwill when you're in need of help. 'Yes, I'm terrified of my mother finding out that a part of me violates her beliefs, if I abandon the whole system, she'll surely come to understand!'

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves."

First of all yeah, you kind of have a point it isn't a laughing matter, a lot of kids to get kicked out of their houses, beaten by their parents and shunned for being bi, but I stand by what I said. Think about it, if God is infinitely good, why would he first create a person with strong feelings towards members of his or her own sex, and then punish that person with eternal suffering for acting on those impulses? What would be his motivation for such sadistic behavior? Lastly why is it so wrong to tell people to abandon their faith? Isn't religion supposed to help you out? If it causes you nothing but misery and guilt and according to its explicit rules you are going to hell anyway why not just forget about it?

Well, yeah, if you're a man. (Matthew 5:28 KJV 1611). Duh.
Dammit.

Dammit.

Can't say I see the reason myself either, but then He is God.

"My goodness. Can you people hear yourselves? Someone comes to ask for help- not even heavy lifting mind, just advice- and THIS is what you offer? Renounce your faith? Renounce your whole religion? Insults? I can only hope people show you the same goodwill when you're in need of help. 'Yes, I'm terrified of my mother finding out that a part of me violates her beliefs, if I abandon the whole system, she'll surely come to understand!'

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves."

First of all yeah, you kind of have a point it isn't a laughing matter, a lot of kids to get kicked out of their houses, beaten by their parents and shunned for being bi, but I stand by what I said. Think about it, if God is infinitely good, why would he first create a person with strong feelings towards members of his or her own sex, and then punish that person with eternal suffering for acting on those impulses? What would be his motivation for such sadistic behavior? Lastly why is it so wrong to tell people to abandon their faith? Isn't religion supposed to help you out? If it causes you nothing but misery and guilt and according to its explicit rules you are going to hell anyway why not just forget about it?
If you believed in it- you would then by default believe in damnation for abandoning it.
Second, telling someone to abandon their fath because you have none is merely trying to get them to think your way.
Telling them to stop listening to all thse people who are telling them they are wrong and experience their faith for themselves would be a much less selfish answer.

The point is that the person asking for help is religious.
Which it may be easy for someone who is not religious to say "Forget God", that would be like me asking you to:forget the Sun, forget your MOther and Father, etc etc you get teh idea.
If she is having a crisis of faith she deserves the option of owning her faith and not having it be that she either gives it up or bows down to the will of what other people say her faith should be.
And Sacred Knights, God did help you, he helps those who help themselves.

Ok, I understand the questioning of faith, but don't you dare tell me God helped me. I felt no presence. Matter of fact, I felt the most lonely I ever have, and I came out ok. I don't believe in God, and that's that. While I'm at it, I would actually be offended if some higher power made me feel as if being myself was wrong, and then claimed they could help me(after all she questioned her bi-curiousness in the first place because the Bible, God, Jesus, whatever, said it was wrong). I'm not just talking about God. I'm talking about, for instance, my parents. I would be rather upset if my parents told me that I needed help and then pursued to help me. I'm a human being, our natural advantage is that we can grow, and adapt to our environment and situations. We, ourselves, will overcome.

I'm not telling her to drop her faith, what I said before was a little wrongly stated, I admit that. But I didn't mean to tell her to drop her faith. All I was saying is that she has to look into herself. I don't think anything can come of 'looking into God'.

The best advice you can give ANYONE in and Social matter is "Be yourself." That's all. And I hope I helped.

Ack, I'm tired...so if anything I said seemed off, that's the reason. I'll get back to you all however...

Do what you want, but post pictures of you doing it on this board.

If you believed in it- you would then by default believe in damnation for abandoning it.
Second, telling someone to abandon their fath because you have none is merely trying to get them to think your way.
Telling them to stop listening to all thse people who are telling them they are wrong and experience their faith for themselves would be a much less selfish answer.

Perhaps what I should have said is that although I have no idea whether or not God exists, it seems unlikely to me that a just God would punish one of his creations for acting in accordance with its instilled desires and impulses. To me this does not seem to make sense but it is only a personal opinion.

Girdinloch--You've got a lot of good advice here (so long as you can ignore the angry athiests). Let me just interject my own thoughts, despite my situation being somewhat different (I am not a Christain, and as such cannot truly comment from that perspective).

I'm slowly coming out to various people about my own bisexuality (I'm fairly open about it, but I don't discuss it unless someone brings it up. No need to make an issue of it.), and told my parents not too long ago. They aren't religious people; they dislike organized religion, favoring instead personal spirituality, and can best be described as Unitarian. Now, they still had a hard time with it; not because they don't support gay rights and whatnot (they wholeheartedly do), but because of a fundamental problem that exists in both the straight and gay communities--a lack of understanding of bisexuality. My parents simply didn't understand the concept, and a lot of people on both sides think it doesn't really exist. Now, both you and I can say otherwise, and it simply means more explination on our part to correct the misconception. My experiences also underscore another fundamental point--a person's views on issues of sexuality don't necessarily translate totally into how they react when a child comes out. I don't know your mother or father, but I would reccommend telling them, so long as you don't feel that they would be terribly confrontational about it. The worst thing that can happen, I think, is if the first they hear of it is when you tell them about a girl (you're female, right? sounded like it from your post) you've been seeing. Best instead to talk about it while it remains in the realm of possibility for them. However, I would wait to do so until you're more sure of yourself. Working out the complex feelings that must be swirling around in your head right now takes time, and you don't want to get into a big mess and then find out you were wrong about something. Take some time, read up on bisexuality (and sexuality in general), and discover yourself. Then, if you feel secure doing so, come out to them. You never know, having that personal connection may just sway their thoughts on homosexuality in general, too.

Now, until then, I would suggest doing as a friend of mine did in high school. He turned out to be gay, and waited some time before telling his family, as he was pretty sure it would be a big confrontation. So instead, he chose a couple of his closest, most trusted friends to come out to; people he knew would not tell another soul unless he gave the go-ahead, and who would support him in his time of re-discovering who he was. I was honored to be one of those friends, and our friendship was made much stronger for it. You probably feel somewhat alone and confused at this point, and having even one or two friends who know and can support you is unimaginably helpful. Even in a small, rural community, I imagine you can find one or two.

Now, the big issue of religion. I offer my own opinion, from the perspective of a highly spiritual/religious person, who identifies himself as a pagan pantheist (I can define it if you like, but I doubt it is necessary here). The Christian religion, as it occurs to me, is supposed to be about your personal, one-on-one relationship with a kind, loving God. This is a God who forgives all, who is literally willing to look past anything to love you. The religion is the expression of the primal, basic love, trust, and understanding God has for you. As such, it is my belief that such a God would not care who it is you find yourself attracted to; indeed, as you've seen yourself, it's not something you can help. It's the way He made you, part of who you are. Part, therefore, of the fundamental "you" that He loves so much. Be who you are, find peace with that true inner self that He has instilled within you, and live the best life you can; as it occurs to me, that would be more of a good, meaningful Christain life than denying your true self because of church dogma. Your relationship with God is infinitely more important than your relationship with the church.

I hope this helps, Girdinloch. If you find yourself needing someone to talk to about it, feel free to email me (arashi86@gmail.com).

Most importantly....

DONT listen to anyone on this forum.

DONT listen to your pastor.

DONT listen to anyone.

You , and you alone, have to decide who your going to be.
No one can decide that for you.
You have to decide if you want to be who you really are, or if you can live with such a secret.

If you have a christian faith, thats great, it thsts what you believe in, then ask yourself this:

"why would God, just turn his back on you, if you were to be who you are?"

He wouldnt.

As for your parents...They love you.
They will continue to love you, no matter what.
Thats what parents do.

In time, they will accept you for what you are.

But It wont be easy.


To thine own self be true.

Most importantly....

DONT listen to anyone on this forum.

DONT listen to your pastor.

DONT listen to anyone.

You , and you alone, have to decide who your going to be.
No one can decide that for you.
You have to decide if you want to be who you really are, or if you can live with such a secret.

If you have a christian faith, thats great, it thsts what you believe in, then ask yourself this:

"why would God, just turn his back on you, if you were to be who you are?"

He wouldnt.

As for your parents...They love you.
They will continue to love you, no matter what.
Thats what parents do.

In time, they will accept you for what you are.

But It wont be easy.


To thine own self be true.

Didn't I just say it wasn't a sin. Less'n she tells her parents.

Okay, here's the thing:
I am a Christian, and this has been troubling me greatly. I have been struggling over the past couple of years because I slowly realized that I am bisexual, looking at some girls the same way I do guys. I've tried to stop myself, but it isn't working out too well.
Especially now, when it is so great an issue, and I cannot speak a word of it to anyone I know in my close-knit town. My own mother has said many times that she does not support homosexuals in any way, shape, or form. I really just don't know what to do now that these things come up in regular conversation at school, and I just want to say what I think and cannot do so in a way that I won't reveal myself to others.
If anyone could offer me any help or advice in this time of my need, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
-J. Hurd

I'm sorry young man but your going to hell. God decided to create you to be gay, so he could then cast you into the lake of fire, to writhe in agony, for ever! Just try to see the wisdom in his great plan.

On the otherhand, do you get any action from the ladies, Or the guys if you're female. No action can drive one to homoerotic thoughts.

Go with your heart. And be proud of who you are in life. Those that refuse to accept you as you are simply not your friends, nor do they show the love, you as a person deserve. 'tis not for them to judge you. Leave that to me. ;)

And... post pictures.... :D

Go with your heart. And be proud of who you are in life. Those that refuse to accept you as you are simply not your friends, nor do they show the love, you as a person deserve.

Hear, hear.

My advice would be to drop religion entirely, but hey - I'm an atheist, so I'm bound to be biased about that. :)

But I agree with CSAB on this one - no-one has a right to tell you how to live your life - not you family, not your friends, not strangers, not a mythical supernatural overlord of the world (sorry, that's the atheism coming through again), nobody.

Those that mind, don't matter. Those that matter, don't mind. Enjoy yourself in life. :)

I've come to think that way myself recently, although it's not a problem since I'm not christian, but I do have this to say - you need not tell people until you're sure. And you're not going to be sure until you're over twenty five, at which point you'll be old enough to bloody well face down anyone who objects, or at least move out. That's the logic I use for myself. After all, we're teenagers, we're hormonal. Who's to say how we'll feel tomorrow?

Let time decide.

The most important thing you can do for yourself is to not let yourself be convinced that you have to choose.

Gay, Bi, Straight. These are nothing but flags set in the dirt and people will tell you that you have to pick one and join the group.

The truth is that these flags are false. The truth about sexuality is that (if you allow) it is a dynamic and ever-changing thing. Fantasies will come and go. Likes and dislikes will come and go. And your priorities will change.

To force yourself to remain Gay is to pass up the chance to have children. To force yourself to remain straight is to deny your fantasies.

True bisexuality is a very rare thing. Most people prefer one or the other. If you truly have no preference, I suspect you are just horny as hell. I was like that. I eventually discovered that I prefer women. I made the choice to be heterosexual. I'm now happily married. My wife knows and understands my past. She understands that I have no aversion to men, even if I have no attraction to them either. We keep no sexual secrets from eachother. And I love her and my child with all my heart.

How would I be now if I believed the hype and became 'gay' because I was bullshitted into believing that I had to pick one? I wouldn't have my wife or son. I couldn't imagine the loss.

Let time decide.

The most important thing you can do for yourself is to not let yourself be convinced that you have to choose.

Gay, Bi, Straight. These are nothing but flags set in the dirt and people will tell you that you have to pick one and join the group.

The truth is that these flags are false. The truth about sexuality is that (if you allow) it is a dynamic and ever-changing thing. Fantasies will come and go. Likes and dislikes will come and go. And your priorities will change.

To force yourself to remain Gay is to pass up the chance to have children. To force yourself to remain straight is to deny your fantasies.

True bisexuality is a very rare thing. Most people prefer one or the other. If you truly have no preference, I suspect you are just horny as hell. I was like that. I eventually discovered that I prefer women. I made the choice to be heterosexual. I'm now happily married. My wife knows and understands my past. She understands that I have no aversion to men, even if I have no attraction to them either. We keep no sexual secrets from eachother. And I love her and my child with all my heart.

How would I be now if I believed the hype and became 'gay' because I was bullshitted into believing that I had to pick one? I wouldn't have my wife or son. I couldn't imagine the loss.

...Did Lunatic Goofballs make a completely serious post?! :p

j/k...;)

Okay, here's the thing:
I am a Christian, and this has been troubling me greatly. I have been struggling over the past couple of years because I slowly realized that I am bisexual, looking at some girls the same way I do guys. I've tried to stop myself, but it isn't working out too well.
Especially now, when it is so great an issue, and I cannot speak a word of it to anyone I know in my close-knit town. My own mother has said many times that she does not support homosexuals in any way, shape, or form. I really just don't know what to do now that these things come up in regular conversation at school, and I just want to say what I think and cannot do so in a way that I won't reveal myself to others.
If anyone could offer me any help or advice in this time of my need, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
-J. Hurd

Don't worry Jesus was gay so he won't mind.

Don't worry Jesus was gay so he won't mind.
I thought he was married to Maria Magdalena?

I thought he was married to Maria Magdalena?

Nah that was for show. Think about it. He hung around with a lot of other men... er he had a moustach...

Nah that was for show. Think about it. He hung around with a lot of other men... er he had a moustach...
He probably met them in a bar... and everyone had a beard and moustache back in those days

He probably met them in a bar... and everyone had a beard and moustache back in those days

...he enjoyed fish

...he enjoyed fish
... and wine

hmmmm... starting to doubt here

Well the Bible doesn't condemn lesbian activity. So you're okay. Just don't talk about it to people it would offend.


Actually, the Bible DOES condemn homosexuality. It's listed as the reason for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, and it's listed as one of the penalties of living in the flesh in the book of Romans.

This is a good point to remember. God's love has never been said to be reserved only for those who are pure.


I agree. . .

...Did Lunatic Goofballs make a completely serious post?! :p

j/k...;)

From time to time. Just to keep people guessing. ;)

... and wine

hmmmm... starting to doubt here

Jesus was gay. Why else would he hang around at the docks?

Okay, here's the thing:
I am a Christian, and this has been troubling me greatly. I have been struggling over the past couple of years because I slowly realized that I am bisexual, looking at some girls the same way I do guys. I've tried to stop myself, but it isn't working out too well.
Especially now, when it is so great an issue, and I cannot speak a word of it to anyone I know in my close-knit town. My own mother has said many times that she does not support homosexuals in any way, shape, or form. I really just don't know what to do now that these things come up in regular conversation at school, and I just want to say what I think and cannot do so in a way that I won't reveal myself to others.
If anyone could offer me any help or advice in this time of my need, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
-J. Hurd
my strongest advice would be that you not belong to a religion that sees love as a crime, or a faith that tells you the most important characteristic in choosing a mate is what set of genitals they have. re-examine why you are Christian, why you belong to your particular denomination, and try to make sure you aren't just believing because it was what you were always taught or because it is what everybody in your town thinks.

Actually, the Bible DOES condemn homosexuality. It's listed as the reason for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, and it's listed as one of the penalties of living in the flesh in the book of Romans.

Do you realise how untrue that is?

"But the men of SODOM were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly". Is listed as the reason God destroyed Sodom... but, as I've pointed out in other threads... it's most likely that the 'sin' the men of Sodom were so punished for, wasn't trying to have sex with men... but with the angels.

I'm sorry young man but your going to hell. God decided to create you to be gay, so he could then cast you into the lake of fire, to writhe in agony, for ever! Just try to see the wisdom in his great plan.

...... Anyway. I agree with some post that was about 2 pages ago. If you have a serious problem (which I see you do), pray about it. God doesn't answer unless you make a start

On the otherhand, do you get any action from the ladies, Or the guys if you're female. No action can drive one to homoerotic thoughts.
No action if anything, didn't drive me homo (even though I find women attractive, yet not attracted) it drives me INSANE!

Jesus was gay. Why else would he hang around at the docks?
Maybe he was a pirate

Thank you all for your great suggestions and advice. Most of it hasn't helped me, but only because I lost the thread and only just realized that there is a way to find it. Although it hadn't before, I think it will in the future. I am a girl, for those wondering, I'm sorry I didn't make that clear before. The things that can happen in a month are great. For instance, I would try to convince myself that I actually did like guys, too. Now I've given up that fight, I now realize that I am a lesbian, and there isn't going to be any changing of that. Just as to let it out, I told one of my male friends that I thought could understand, being a gay himself. He laughed and let almost all of the school know at that instant, so I told him I was lying about it. I think he was exited that there was another person out there, and didn't realize what he was doing. I have never trusted people, and have always been wary of people. The whole time I've been keeping this in, about a year and a half now, I was and still am praying to God. I now know that I don't have the power to stop it,and have taken a lot of your advice without knowing it was in here. I will look again, and see if there is anything I missed before.Thank you again.

I don't think you have to worry about being a Christian. We're told God loves us no matter who we are, and what we do..not being crude but who we do too! I only know that some of my friends who have come out found it really hard to tell their parents. It went good for some and bad for others. College as said already will be great as there are open minded people. Your true friends won't care what you are, as long as your a nice person. Your mother might come round eventually, if it's one of her own children.