NationStates Jolt Archive


Who shot JFK?

Refused Party Program
25-10-2004, 22:32
Post your crackpot theories here!
Clonetopia
25-10-2004, 22:34
J.F.K. shot J.F.K.

http://www.darkdreamstealer.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/tikascript.html
Chodolo
25-10-2004, 22:38
And Jesus takes the lead...
San Diablo la Bueno
25-10-2004, 22:38
IT WAS LEE HARVEY OSWALD! FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO! :mad:
Anvilla
25-10-2004, 22:38
Fools couldt you see the smirk on jesus's face the day after he framed oswald :)
Superpower07
25-10-2004, 22:38
Who shot John Forbes Kerry?

The Vietnamese!
Refused Party Program
25-10-2004, 22:40
J.F.K. shot J.F.K.

http://www.darkdreamstealer.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/tikascript.html

That was a great episode!
Siljhouettes
25-10-2004, 22:54
OMG! It was OBVIOUSLY John Kerry!
Chodolo
25-10-2004, 22:55
Oh no! Lenin sprints past Jesus!
Letila
25-10-2004, 23:35
Lenin did it.
Al-Imvadjah
25-10-2004, 23:48
That was a good Red Dwarf epispde.
United White Front
26-10-2004, 00:07
Who shot John Forbes Kerry?

The Vietnamese!
his own men :sniper:
Ravea
26-10-2004, 00:23
Lee Harvey Oswald, alone and by himself. With a Magic Bullet.
Demostronous
26-10-2004, 00:33
Oh come on all of you. You know it is some one no one would ever expect.

Jesus did it. He came back from the dead as a brain thirsty zombie, and after stepping on a revolver, blew out Kenedy's brain. He the nproceeded to eat his brain... NO JESUS, NOT ME YET! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Any ways, we all know Jesus is a government conspiracy to keep homless people from beating kids all day.
Kleptonis
26-10-2004, 00:41
Jesus came up with the idea, but obviously Lenin pulled the trigger, Jesus wouldn't kill, too messy. He's the kind of guy to hire help when this sort of thing arises.
Refused Party Program
26-10-2004, 09:02
Interesting. How does Elvis fit in?
Lunatic Goofballs
26-10-2004, 09:07
The whole thing was staged. It never really happened. That's why most of the credible witnesses are dead now. See, it was filmed on a soundstage and NOT on the streets of Dallas. Everything the public saw was an act. A sham to cover up the fact that JFK accidentally shot himself while cleaning his gun in the White House. *nod*
Boofheads
26-10-2004, 09:14
The whole thing was staged. It never really happened. That's why most of the credible witnesses are dead now. See, it was filmed on a soundstage and NOT on the streets of Dallas. Everything the public saw was an act. A sham to cover up the fact that JFK accidentally shot himself while cleaning his gun in the White House. *nod*

And when you say he shot himself, you mean it was his clone from the future!!
Lunatic Goofballs
26-10-2004, 09:18
And when you say he shot himself, you mean it was his clone from the future!!

No. The clone didn't do the shooting. But the horrible history caused by the 'original' death of JFK prompted the future to send the clone back to help create the fake Dallas shooting in order to create a better future.

The clone has been living in a secret bunker underneath The White House. He has been President For Life for the last 40 years.
Boofheads
26-10-2004, 09:21
No. The clone didn't do the shooting. But the horrible history caused by the 'original' death of JFK prompted the future to send the clone back to help create the fake Dallas shooting in order to create a better future.

The clone has been living in a secret bunker underneath The White House. He has been President For Life for the last 40 years.
He probably hangs out with Dick Cheney a lot.
Refused Party Program
26-10-2004, 09:24
He probably hangs out with Dick Cheney a lot.

They share needles.
Refused Party Program
26-10-2004, 14:30
Among other things.
Planta Genestae
26-10-2004, 14:31
I did.
Sdaeriji
26-10-2004, 14:36
Dude, obviously it was the Stonecutters.

"Who keeps Steve Guttenberg a star?...."
Refused Party Program
26-10-2004, 14:39
"Who keeps Steve Guttenberg a star?...."

Satan.
Stoners-Paradise
26-10-2004, 14:42
Lee Harvey Oswald
Refused Party Program
26-10-2004, 14:44
Lee Harvey Oswald

Nah, that theory has been debunked.
Kellarly
26-10-2004, 14:45
Oh no! Lenin sprints past Jesus!


can you imagine that at the olympics...now that would make for a good 100m final....
Refused Party Program
26-10-2004, 15:03
can you imagine that at the olympics...now that would make for a good 100m final....

Jesus is a goalkeeper.
Sdaeriji
26-10-2004, 15:09
Satan.

Obviously you don't watch enough Simpsons.
Refused Party Program
26-10-2004, 15:10
Obviously you don't watch enough Simpsons.

I'm familiar with that episode. I was just answering the question with the correct answer.
Jeruselem
26-10-2004, 16:11
No it was GWB! He's responsible for well, everything wrong.
Random Explosions
26-10-2004, 16:24
Elvis.
Legless Pirates
26-10-2004, 16:25
Carlos the Jackal
Crossman
26-10-2004, 16:28
Martians!!!


And by Martians, I mean Russians, and by Russians I mean Soviets, and by Soviets I mean Communist Radicals, and by Communist Radicals I mean... well you get the point.
Crossman
26-10-2004, 16:28
No it was GWB! He's responsible for well, everything wrong.

:rolleyes:
Stroudiztan
26-10-2004, 16:29
I support the no-bullet theory. His head just did that.
Crossman
26-10-2004, 16:33
I support the no-bullet theory. His head just did that.

LOL. I never heard that one.
Refused Party Program
28-10-2004, 10:42
Neither had I.
Findecano Calaelen
28-10-2004, 12:19
it was [Violet] on Max Barrys order who was asked to do it by Jesus in a dream
Bungeria
28-10-2004, 13:27
It was Lee Harvey Oswald, 'cause he wanted to steal the Jack Ruby.
Refused Party Program
28-10-2004, 14:34
It was Lee Harvey Oswald, 'cause he wanted to steal the Jack Ruby.

All of the Oswald theories have been debunked. It couldn't possibly have been him. :D
GermanyAsIknowIt
28-10-2004, 14:41
I did.
Gloom of Doom
28-10-2004, 14:46
J.F.K. shot J.F.K. - 25-10-2004, 9:34 PM - Clonetopia

He was following a direct order from the president.

These information was provied by the Simpson's Didn't Do It Group.
Bungeria
28-10-2004, 14:47
All of the Oswald theories have been debunked. It couldn't possibly have been him. :D...but they told me that on the Simpsons... it must be true!
Slave Bringers
28-10-2004, 14:55
i reckon it was the FBI or CIA because kennedy lost a load of their men in Cuba nd they were all pissed off wiv him :sniper:
Refused Party Program
28-10-2004, 14:56
i reckon it was the FBI or CIA because kennedy lost a load of their men in Cuba nd they were all pissed off wiv him :sniper:

Yeah, right. Like that could ever happen. :D
Neo-Tommunism
28-10-2004, 15:44
Ok, so this is what really happened. JFK wasn't killed, they replaced his brain with a bag of sand, and painted him black for his protection. He now lives in a retirement home, with Elvis. They fight mummies. The mummies suck your soul...out of your ass. Bubba Ho-Tep, anyone?
Meriadoc
28-10-2004, 16:08
That was a great episode!
Dang it, RPP! You said something similar to what I wanted to say! No biggy though.
Refused Party Program
12-11-2004, 13:30
Okay...
The True Right
12-11-2004, 15:46
Actually for those uneducated fools on this site, I'll give you the true facts.

He was shot 161 times at 148 different angles. Those guilty included: Freemasons, Oddfellows Lodge 152, Dallas Elks Lodge #652, Teamsters, UAW, Mafia, CIA, FBI, KGB, Cuban death squad, Girl Scouts Troop 56 Intercourse PA, RFK, LBJ, UMW, Nerf Hoeffelmeyer, et al. Amazingly all of the bullets shared the same path.
Refused Party Program
12-11-2004, 20:22
Actually for those uneducated fools on this site, I'll give you the true facts.

He was shot 161 times at 148 different angles. Those guilty included: Freemasons, Oddfellows Lodge 152, Dallas Elks Lodge #652, Teamsters, UAW, Mafia, CIA, FBI, KGB, Cuban death squad, Girl Scouts Troop 56 Intercourse PA, RFK, LBJ, UMW, Nerf Hoeffelmeyer, et al. Amazingly all of the bullets shared the same path.

So, most of them went straight through him?
Zincite
12-11-2004, 20:29
Why Maggie of course! Mr. Burns was just practice - she's a regular assassin. She was behind Reagan too...
The Psyker
12-11-2004, 20:44
It was the Ciggarett Smoking man of course :rolleyes:
I'm mean he conffesed on National Television, obviously it was him actin gon orders from the MIB to silece JFK before he came out with the truth behind Roswell :eek:
Refused Party Program
23-11-2004, 14:12
It was the Ciggarett Smoking man of course :rolleyes:
I'm mean he conffesed on National Television, obviously it was him actin gon orders from the MIB to silece JFK before he came out with the truth behind Roswell :eek:

WTF?!
Von Witzleben
23-11-2004, 14:13
Who shot JFK?
An American.
Comdidia
23-11-2004, 14:13
I thought we settled this that it was between several mods that did it months ago at least.
Matalatataka
23-11-2004, 14:21
Ok, so this is what really happened. JFK wasn't killed, they replaced his brain with a bag of sand, and painted him black for his protection. He now lives in a retirement home, with Elvis. They fight mummies. The mummies suck your soul...out of your ass. Bubba Ho-Tep, anyone?


Great movie! Bruce Campbell does one hell of an Elvis!


It was the Ciggarett Smoking man of course
I'm mean he conffesed on National Television, obviously it was him actin gon orders from the MIB to silece JFK before he came out with the truth behind Roswell

Damn it! You beat me too it! What? No one watches the X-Files? Poor bastard. If he'd just gotten his stories published. :sniper:
Sianoptica
23-11-2004, 14:27
You are all crazy: it was obviously Bob. Yes indeed - Bob.
Brittanic States
23-11-2004, 14:27
3 franco italian hitmen from marseilles
Comdidia
23-11-2004, 14:27
You are all crazy: it was obviously Bob. Yes indeed - Bob.
Bob is the code name for The SLAGlands when JFK was killed.
Andaluciae
23-11-2004, 14:59
OK, the JFK assassination was a complex plot involving several future Presidents and their advisors.

In charge of the plot were Richard M. Nixon, George H. W. Bush and Henry Kissinger. Nixon and Kissinger were both stationed in the book depository, Kissinger was the shooter from this position. Nixon was the spotter and overall radio co-ordinator. Meanwhile, on the overpass, was stationed Bill Clinton with his rifle, an M4 carbine. On the grassy knoll we have Al Gore and John Kerry who both blended in with the trees so well, that no one noticed that they were carrying Heavy Machine Guns. George W. Bush was stationed in the sewer grate, because that is where his IQ put him amongst the conspiracy group, he was equipped with a Civil War Era Breech Loading Carbine.

Overhead, hovering in a helicopter were George H. W. Bush and Lyndon Johnson, whom Bush had mind controlled by this point in time. Jimmy Carter was involved in getting everyone out of the area on trains, in a massive peanut shipment.

That is what happened.
The Imperial Navy
23-11-2004, 15:02
Many years from now, I will invent a time machine, which I will use to go back and kill JFK.
Refused Party Program
23-11-2004, 18:44
Jesus is currently in the lead.
L-rouge
23-11-2004, 19:30
It was...Papa Lazarou!!!

"Oooh...you're my wife now!"
Refused Party Program
16-06-2005, 12:24
Preposterous.