NationStates Jolt Archive

... she has her own gravity and other moms revolve around her

Better than other dads revolving around her I guess :)

Better than other dads revolving around her I guess :)
*writes this one down*
:D

...when she steps on a scale, its says: "Only one person at a time."

Even when she's on the bottom, she's on top.

that people say: 'ey look, a solar-eclipse', when she walks by.

So, does you Mom need that forklift to move around the garden?

;)

So, does you Mom need that forklift to move around the garden?

;)
i suppose it's easier to move the garden around her.

She jumps up into the air and get's stuck... :)

She has her own dress sizes:
Extra large
Jumbo
and...
Oh my god its coming towards us!

your moma is so fat her beauty is only five beers away :D

yeah the the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale.

surely the last time she saw 90210 was on the tv as being too fat she could not see the bathroom scale.... :p

Was that before or after she jumped in the air and got stuck?

... she has her own gravity and other moms revolve around her
:sniper:

... she has her own gravity and other moms revolve around her
:sniper:your joke is so weak...that your fat momma sould sit in your lap and shake!

...I saw her walking down the street the other day wearing a red shirt, I yelled "hey Kool Aid", she said, "OH YEAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

If she gains any more weight, she'll spontaneously combust and we'll have a bi-solar system.

If she gains any more weight, she'll spontaneously combust and we'll have a bi-solar system.
LOL, a bi-solar :D

Your mom is so fat when she turns around its her birthday again.

She is so fat, she sweats gravy.

She is so fat, her ass has it's own zip code.

She is so fat when she stands up to stretch, half eaten sandwiches and chicken bones fall around her feet.

...she's got bridges on her fat folds.

she has more rolls than a fleet of pastry trucks.

Chinese All You Can Eat Buffet owners lock the doors and shout "It's the monster with many mouths! Kill the lights! Kill the lights!"

She make sumo wrestlers look like the after pictures for Jenny Craig.

:p When yo'daddy climbed on top,his ears popped! :fluffle:

She has her own orbit around the sun!

TO f--- her,you'd have to roll her in flour and go for the wet spot :eek: !

She causes static when she walks in front of a radio!

When she bends over, we lose an hour of daylight!

Every time she goes to the beach, Greenpeace rub linament into her and try to roll her back into the sea.

She's so fat, that when she makes love to your daddy, hes gotta slap her thigh 'n ride the wave in!

... Her vote in Florida counted for 600 Bush votes, causing some disorder for years to come.

Yo mama so fat,

(please choose one)

A: She has more chins than a chinese phone book.

B: Her shoes got license plates on the back.

C: She walks into McDonalds and asks how many quarter pounders make a ton.

D: She rents herself out as a bouncy castle.

Yo Momma so fat...

...she wakes up in sections.

...she stands in front of the Hollywood sign, all you see is H...D.

...her beltsize is 'Equator'.

...in high school, she sat next to EVERYBODY!

...after sex, I rolled over twice and I was still on her!

...to have sex, she rolles in flour to find the wet spot.

...I have to take two busses and a train to get in her good side.

...She could step on a quarter and squeeze a booger out of George Washington's nose.

...She gets into the bathtub with a shoehorn.

...when she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.


"You wanna play the Dozens? Well, the Dozens is a game. But the way I fu*ked your mother is a God damn shame!" -George Carlin.

...Bill O'Reilly won't have phone sex with her

So sad these pathetic attempts at recycled humor.

So sad these pathetic attempts at recycled humor.

Indeed. I agree. I can't believe I rattled off so many so quickly that hadn't posted here before. I pretty much did it in a desperate attempt to get them out of the way so maybe some I haven't heard would show up.

We'll have to wait and see. I don't have high hopes.

Yo mommas so fat, she has to shit in the tub.

Ah, thats cold. I mean, I can't talk about yo mama, 'cause I never met the man.

(George Wallace)

Yo mommas so hairy, her armpits look like she got Don King in a headlock.

...that she sat on a rainbow and Skittles came out

... that when she gave birth to you, the other twin as lost

...that they've renamed her Apollo 18

yo mamma so dumb she sold a car for petrol

yo mamma so old she sat next jesus in the first grade

... neil armstrong planted the us flag on her

Your mummas glasses are so thick, when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Bah dum chisss

your momma so ugly she turned medusa to stone

... they have to use the Hubble telescope if she's not sure what size he is in a store

Yo momma so gap-toothed, when she smiles, it looks like her tongue is in jail.

Yo momma so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror to shave.

Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Your momma so fat her republican vote was counted 20 times in the Florida electoral college...

Your Momma's so fat, when she touched the touch screen to vote, she voted for everybody.

(these are all really bad - there are only a few good ones, and they've already been said)

everytime she turn around it be Christmas (we've had birthday I know...)

she makes Jabba the Hut look like Alley Macbeal

she use a city bus as a skateboard

she dived into the ocean at californai and caused a tidal wave in florida!

she fell into the grand canyon and got stuck

she climbed everest by rolling over

she jumped and caused an earthquake

she sat down and ended up in china

she buys dresses at a camp store