NationStates Jolt Archive

Suppose one day you came home. Your parent(s)/guardian(s) was sitting on the couch, looking very upset.
"What's wrong?" you asked.
"W-We have something to tell you," your sobbing parent/guardian said. "You were adopted. Your real father is-"
Suddenly George W. Bush jumps in front of you, and screams, "ME!!!!!"

What would you do?

Hey, Dad. GIVE ME MONEY!!

I'd be amazed at what mother could combine her genes with him to create a person of above average intelligence instead of surpassing stupidity.

He could kiss the election goodbye, I'll tell you that. It'd take a straitjacket and chains to keep me out of the Press and making a fool of myself(which comes naturally) and him(ditto).

Oh, can I get daddy to invade a country I don't like, too? I've always wanted to do that.... fucking Australia. Thinks it's so good with it's.... uh..... what's in Australia again?

Steve IRwin! That's right. Crodile hunting bastard.... :gundge:

Oh, can I get daddy to invade a country I don't like, too? I've always wanted to do that.... fucking Australia. Thinks it's so good with it's.... uh..... what's in Australia again?

Steve IRwin! That's right. Crodile hunting bastard.... :gundge:

Speedos.

Aren't you forgetting about He-Whose-Name-Rhymes-With-Dax who lives in Australia. And that if you were to anger Him, He would probably take NS away?

Excuse me, I must now sacrifice to He-Whose-Name-Rhymes-With-Dax, in penitence for my arrogant mention of Him.

Speedos.
That too! They just got to go.... and why can't they pronounce "garage" properly? I worked on the same site as one Australian... what the FUCK is a "Gah-rooge" anyway?!

Nah, I'm yanking you. Australians are alright. I know an Australian lass... well, Australian who lives in Canada... well, Australian whose family lives in Canada, but who's living in England in the moment... studying or something. Fucking English.. :gundge:

Edit: Ah, screw it! I'll have Daddy kill everyone. That way everyone I hate will be gone.

Stop damning Australians. An Australian accent is basically a British cockney accent slowed down by the heat. You yanks could take a hint from that seeing as I've never heard a decent Australian accent out of any of you. Stupid bastards

I would query as to how such a young toddler could sire such a striping lad as myself. Then I'd shake Dad's hand, and congratulate him on his courageous stand in Iraq.

Stop damning Australians. An Australian accent is basically a British cockney accent slowed down by the heat. You yanks could take a hint from that seeing as I've never heard a decent Australian accent out of any of you. Stupid bastards
I think you're missing a couple points: (1) I have nothing against Australians, nor their accents. In fact, I think the accent is sexy, and I said, in as many words: I'm yanking you. Australians are alright. (2) Despite your assumption, I am not a "Yank": I'm a Canadian, and have been all my life. (3) I'm talking, jokingly, about what I would do if the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES turned out to be my father.

Considering how far fetched that situation is, you really ought not to take anything I'm saying seriously. Honestly, I picked a country at random: I could just as easily have said Britain, Germany, Russia, or France. The thing it, the US already fought with three of those countries, and the jokes about the fourth are a dime a dozen. Australia is a novel choice, considering the fact that it has never done anything at all to piss me off (except for producing Steve Irwin, who I could really do without considering the fact that we share a family name, which he is ruining with his "Crikey" spouting shinanigans) and it is, in fact, one of the last countries the US would invade, considering it's fighting on the same side as the US in the "WAR ON TERROR", right?

"Hello, New York Times? I inhale like crazy. And I learned it from watching dad, OKAY? From watching him!!!!"

I put other because i would then convince him to invade every country and kill John Kerry because they are "harboring terrorists and are enemies of the free world."

I would respond the same way Luke Skywalker did.

1) NNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!

2) Jump off a cliff.

3) Land softly.

4) Come back and say that I can see the good in him (so I tell a white lie).

5) Get zapped by blue lightning bolts coming out of the hands of the dark lord of the Sith Dick Cheney.

"Hey dad, lets go to the shooting range, just you and me, no secret service. I wanna bond."

I'd run and hide in a far corner of siberia.
and live off frozen fish for the rest of my life.


...or maybe rather indonesia.
i don't like the cold. and their fish aren't frozen :D

I'd brag :D

I'd exploit my 15 minutes as well. I'd have so much fun.

What the heck was Dubya doing the bushes? o_O

Smile graciously, offer to make dinner that night, make some creative use of codeine, followed with creative use a few hours later of a very large knife.

Okok, so I exaggerate...

I'd probably chicken out and just use a plastic bag and an elastic band, and not the knife.

:p

Jump up, with my palms extended and yell:

"SHOW ME THE MONEEEEEEYYY!"

I would say, "Daddy, I want to be president."

I'd be amazed at what mother could combine her genes with him to create a person of above average intelligence instead of surpassing stupidity.
LOL - I'd prolly just stand there goin "WTF"

shoot dubya in the head seems the obvious answer. but congrats to those with more creative replies.

"Dad, you've got to make up for lost time. And we share a passion, you and I. That is, we both want to defeat evil. Now go and buy me the Yankees."

Australia is a novel choice, considering the fact that it has never done anything at all to piss me off (except for producing Steve Irwin, who I could really do without considering the fact that we share a family name, which he is ruining with his "Crikey" spouting shinanigans) and it is, in fact, one of the last countries the US would invade, considering it's fighting on the same side as the US in the "WAR ON TERROR", right?

Even as an Australian I'm embarassed about Steve Irwin, and you share the family name - bloody hell, how unfortunate!

Well the Government may be fighting the 'War On Terror', but the rest of the nation seems to think differently

If my parents told me I was the child of G.W. Bush I'd take all documents supporting this and burn them [in a blaze of glory, and satisfaction] immediately. Then fly over to the US and support Kerry.

Actually, now I think about it - if i were his daughter, assasination would be so much more easier :sniper: : This would go before the burning of documents

He could help me become Overlord :)
It certainly would make it much easier.

Run very quickly in the oppersit direction, screaming. Then tell my story to the papers.

Where's the otpiong to "shoot George Bush in the forehead with a gun"?

Well, my first reaction when anyone pops in front of my is to kick them in the nuts. Then I'd take a picture of him curled into a ball trying to make the pain go away and send it to the Post. The next day's headline will be "President gets Ass-whopped by 14 year old son."

I make him give me allot of money and make sure the secret services get me every girl I want.

I'd wonder why I turned out brown...

Then I'd either cry or poke W's eyes out with a toothpick.

I'd wish John Kerry was my dad. Pretty much i would support him afterwards and then send my story to the newspaper.

"Presidents son supports kerry"

Its gonna be grand.

"Take this, Dad!"

*kick*

"Take that, Dad!"

*punch*

And that is just what he'd get for being an abandoning bastard, nevermind a despicable human being.

"Why, oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill????"

or

"Um, dad, about that backlog on my allowance....?"

That too! They just got to go.... and why can't they pronounce "garage" properly? I worked on the same site as one Australian... what the FUCK is a "Gah-rooge" anyway?!
wtf? Its either "Gah-Raahge" or "Carport"

I would respond the same way Luke Skywalker did.

1) NNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!

2) Jump off a cliff.

3) Land softly.

4) Come back and say that I can see the good in him (so I tell a white lie).

5) Get zapped by blue lightning bolts coming out of the hands of the dark lord of the Sith Dick Cheney.

Hahahahaha!

"Hey dad, lets go to the shooting range, just you and me, no secret service. I wanna bond."

Nice!!!


But you know what i'd do?

Absolutely nothing, in the immediate future...just continue my education, etc.. The Bush family tree has a nice power attachment to it, which i can exploit later. And I can exploit it very well :D

...maybe a little too well. But hell, -2.5 billion people in the worlds population wouldnt be such a bad thing...right? right?

Then i'd snap out of the fantasy and stop putting acid in my coffee :D

Give me Money.

Go into hiding so Bush wouldn't have a gay daughter to publicly "support".

Where's the "Beat my new dad up with a baseball bat" option?

Brag because I find it funny...

Or have a line of coke with him

I'd say, "Screw this." and probably hang myself