NationStates Jolt Archive

This is how this works: A nation shall state why he (or she) is the biggest idiot in the world. You may only use a quote once. Every ten posts, I will choose a winner. That winner gets a prize of 1 million USD. Then, when this thread dies, I will invite all of the winners to a second thread, where you will compete for the grand prize of 1 billion USD.

Ex: I'm the biggest idiot in the world because I once ate a piece of cabbage that I found behind the refrigerator.


Past Winners

The Tribes of Longton
Lunatic Goofballs

Bump

I'm an idiot for this quote of mine from a bike trip:

Friend: "what gear are you in?"
Me: (mistaking it for year) "2004!"

I'm an idiot for this quote of mine from a bike trip:

Friend: "what gear are you in?"
Me: (mistaking it for year) "2004!"

Lol

I forgot to add--people who don't win receive a Lionel Richie bobblehead as a consolation prize.

Any idiot can take 50 from 100 and get 50. It takes a classicaly trained idiot to get 6,743.

:D

ok, so we got 2 entries. Anyone else?

A quote of mine from last year while I was watching a game of chess in my school's study room: "Now we'll never know if bananas can fly! Never!" And no one had said anything for 10 minutes, so it broke the silence.

got 3 entries! All of them are gems, do you think YOU can beat 'em?

I was once playing 20 questions with my sister while on the way home on a car trip. She asked me if my item was portable and I, looking sleepily out the window said, in all seriousness: "What exactly do you mean by 'portable?'" She laughed at me the rest of the way home.

Do typos count?

Somehow my voice once slipped while talking to a friend, and I told him to "take a right, and you'll see a bladder. Climb up that, and you're there."

Do typos count?

Anything that made you look like an idiot, jackass, and/or slow-minded fool.

I am the biggest idiot in the world because I am about to do something that will really piss off the mods. No no no I wont tell you. That would ruin the surprise.

I am the biggest idiot in the world because I am about to do something that will really piss off the mods. No no no I wont tell you. That would ruin the surprise.


Can't wait.

6 entries so far! We're coming close to judging!

I'd like to know what he's gonna do to piss off the mods.

Competition is over. I am here. :)

As a high school freshman, I once pulled a prank on the entire High School football team and they found out it was me.

I've had to be rescued from a mudpit by firemen and rescue workers. I made the local news.

I won a $500 bet that I could take three kicks to the groin from a martial arts blackbelt and stay standing. Just to see what would happen, I went for a fourth and dropped.

I once mooned my state governor.

I currently have a jockstrap on my head. (This story deserves it's own thread)

This is how this works: A nation shall state why he (or she) is the biggest idiot in the world. You may only use a quote once. Every ten posts, I will choose a winner. That winner gets a prize of 1 million USD. Then, when this thread dies, I will invite all of the winners to a second thread, where you will compete for the grand prize of 1 billion USD.

Ex: I'm the biggest idiot in the world because I once ate a piece of cabbage that I found behind the refrigerator.

I'm not the biggest idiot in the world because when I went to collect my prize for being the biggest idiot in the world I actually turned up. The actual winner was such a plonker that he forgot.

I'm going to count Lunatic Goofball's entries as four, just so I can get to some judging.

We have the amount of entries needed for the judging! And the winner of the 1 million dollars is......


Lunatic Goofballs!

Congratulations! You will be competing in the final deathmatch when this thread is over!

Crabcake Baba Ganoush came in second place, and will receive a brand new washing machine courtesy of Whirlpool®!

All of the non-winners will receive a Lionel Richie bobblehead as a consolation prize!

Do we have any other entries?

People can enter again, only with a different situation.

I'd like to enter my Geometry teacher from last year:

" . . . . when the presdiential eRection . . . Oops! I mean presidential eLection!"

(and no, she's not asian - though in many east asian countries ppl confuse L with R)

I am the biggest idiot ever because I said something really stupid once. Here we go:

I was being together with my friend, talking about stupid stuff. But after a while, we ran out of things to talk about. So there was one or two minutes of silence. Then my friend, thinking, told me something really disgusting he once saw on TV: They were showing men fart through their penis to get an erection (my friend was serious!) And then he added that girls can do a similar thing. I couldn't believe what I just heard. How in the world was that possible?
Stunned, I yelled: "You mean to tell me that girls can fart through their penises???"

I am the biggest idiot ever because I said something really stupid once. Here we go:

I was being together with my friend, talking about stupid stuff. But after a while, we ran out of things to talk about. So there was one or two minutes of silence. Then my friend, thinking, told me something really disgusting he once saw on TV: They were showing men fart through their penis to get an erection (my friend was serious!) And then he added that girls can do a similar thing. I couldn't believe what I just heard. How in the world was that possible?
Stunned, I yelled: "You mean to tell me that girls can fart through their penises???"

A liitle PG, but OK!

I am the biggest idiot ever because I said something really stupid once. Here we go:

I was being together with my friend, talking about stupid stuff. But after a while, we ran out of things to talk about. So there was one or two minutes of silence. Then my friend, thinking, told me something really disgusting he once saw on TV: They were showing men fart through their penis to get an erection (my friend was serious!) And then he added that girls can do a similar thing. I couldn't believe what I just heard. How in the world was that possible?
Stunned, I yelled: "You mean to tell me that girls can fart through their penises???"

Totally understandable. Your friend was unclear in what he said.

I'm going to count Lunatic Goofball's entries as four, just so I can get to some judging.

We have the amount of entries needed for the judging! And the winner of the 1 million dollars is......


Lunatic Goofballs!

Congratulations! You will be competing in the final deathmatch when this thread is over!

Crabcake Baba Ganoush came in second place, and will receive a brand new washing machine courtesy of Whirlpool®!

All of the non-winners will receive a Lionel Richie bobblehead as a consolation prize!

Which one of Goofball's?

Anyways...I am an idiot because I have so many (or absolutely no, I'm not quite sure) good idiotic examples, so I can't post. Therefore that makes me thouroghly boring (and maybe boring can somehow make me idiotic?). Plus posting even though I have nothing to post is pretty dumb.

I'll think of somthing good, just give me a while.

Which one of Goofball's?

The one about the mudpit. But all of them were good.

i had an A in computer class and B's & C's in the others except one which i had an f in and i hacked into my schools computer grading system to change that f to a C and insted i changed my A in computer class to a C sense i was not paying atention

and let me tell you that system was a bitch to get into and now thay have an even better one but it dont matter sense im constantly watched when im on the computers now and thay just instaled a new program that can see exactly whats on your screen and lock up your computer on thursday and each time ive been on there sense (3 times) ive been locked up

BTW i had to confes to get my grade changed back and if i dident i would have been in a lot more trouble than i was (2 weeks of suspension and 4 weeks of ISS with after school detion (i was luckey the last guy who got cault was kicked out of the county school system))

I'm an idiot because I cannot figure out how to stop my ass-crack from sweating so much that it makes my underwear stank.

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Old 23-10-2004, 2:44 PM #1
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The Idiot Show
This is how this works: A nation shall state why he (or she) is the biggest idiot in the world. You may only use a quote once. Every ten posts, I will choose a winner. That winner gets a prize of 1 million USD. Then, when this thread dies, I will invite all of the winners to a second thread, where you will compete for the grand prize of 1 billion USD.

Ex: I'm the biggest idiot in the world because I once ate a piece of cabbage that I found behind the refrigerator.
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Old 23-10-2004, 3:04 PM #2
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Bump
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Old 23-10-2004, 3:06 PM #3
Superpower07
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I'm an idiot for this quote of mine from a bike trip:

Friend: "what gear are you in?"
Me: (mistaking it for year) "2004!"
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Old 23-10-2004, 3:15 PM #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Superpower07
I'm an idiot for this quote of mine from a bike trip:

Friend: "what gear are you in?"
Me: (mistaking it for year) "2004!"


Lol

I forgot to add--people who don't win receive a Lionel Richie bobblehead as a consolation prize.
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Old 23-10-2004, 3:43 PM #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Refused Party Program
Any idiot can take 50 from 100 and get 50. It takes a classicaly trained idiot to get 6,743.


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Old 23-10-2004, 3:46 PM #6
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ok, so we got 2 entries. Anyone else?
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Old 23-10-2004, 3:47 PM #7
La Terra di Liberta
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A quote of mine from last year while I was watching a game of chess in my school's study room: "Now we'll never know if bananas can fly! Never!" And no one had said anything for 10 minutes, so it broke the silence.
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Old 23-10-2004, 3:51 PM #8
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got 3 entries! All of them are gems, do you think YOU can beat 'em?
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Old 23-10-2004, 3:57 PM #9
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I was once playing 20 questions with my sister while on the way home on a car trip. She asked me if my item was portable and I, looking sleepily out the window said, in all seriousness: "What exactly do you mean by 'portable?'" She laughed at me the rest of the way home.
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Old 23-10-2004, 4:58 PM #10
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Do typos count?

Somehow my voice once slipped while talking to a friend, and I told him to "take a right, and you'll see a bladder. Climb up that, and you're there."
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Old 23-10-2004, 5:36 PM #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goed
Do typos count?


Anything that made you look like an idiot, jackass, and/or slow-minded fool.
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Old 23-10-2004, 5:45 PM #12
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I am the biggest idiot in the world because I am about to do something that will really piss off the mods. No no no I wont tell you. That would ruin the surprise.
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Old 23-10-2004, 5:48 PM #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crabcake Baba Ganoush
I am the biggest idiot in the world because I am about to do something that will really piss off the mods. No no no I wont tell you. That would ruin the surprise.



Can't wait.
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Old 23-10-2004, 5:54 PM
Crabcake Baba Ganoush
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Old 23-10-2004, 6:52 PM #14
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Question
6 entries so far! We're coming close to judging!

I'd like to know what he's gonna do to piss off the mods.
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Old 23-10-2004, 7:08 PM #15
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Competition is over. I am here.

As a high school freshman, I once pulled a prank on the entire High School football team and they found out it was me.

I've had to be rescued from a mudpit by firemen and rescue workers. I made the local news.

I won a $500 bet that I could take three kicks to the groin from a martial arts blackbelt and stay standing. Just to see what would happen, I went for a fourth and dropped.

I once mooned my state governor.

I currently have a jockstrap on my head. (This story deserves it's own thread)
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Old 24-10-2004, 7:11 AM #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Present Day Comatica
This is how this works: A nation shall state why he (or she) is the biggest idiot in the world. You may only use a quote once. Every ten posts, I will choose a winner. That winner gets a prize of 1 million USD. Then, when this thread dies, I will invite all of the winners to a second thread, where you will compete for the grand prize of 1 billion USD.

Ex: I'm the biggest idiot in the world because I once ate a piece of cabbage that I found behind the refrigerator.


I'm not the biggest idiot in the world because when I went to collect my prize for being the biggest idiot in the world I actually turned up. The actual winner was such a plonker that he forgot.
Last edited by Planta Genestae : 24-10-2004 at 7:27 AM.
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Old 24-10-2004, 12:25 PM #17
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I'm going to count Lunatic Goofball's entries as four, just so I can get to some judging.

We have the amount of entries needed for the judging! And the winner of the 1 million dollars is......


Lunatic Goofballs!

Congratulations! You will be competing in the final deathmatch when this thread is over!

Crabcake Baba Ganoush came in second place, and will receive a brand new washing machine courtesy of Whirlpool®!

All of the non-winners will receive a Lionel Richie bobblehead as a consolation prize!
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Old 24-10-2004, 12:45 PM #18
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Do we have any other entries?

People can enter again, only with a different situation.
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Old 24-10-2004, 1:26 PM #19
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I'd like to enter my Geometry teacher from last year:

" . . . . when the presdiential eRection . . . Oops! I mean presidential eLection!"

(and no, she's not asian - though in many east asian countries ppl confuse L with R)
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Old 24-10-2004, 1:40 PM #20
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I am the biggest idiot ever because I said something really stupid once. Here we go:

I was being together with my friend, talking about stupid stuff. But after a while, we ran out of things to talk about. So there was one or two minutes of silence. Then my friend, thinking, told me something really disgusting he once saw on TV: They were showing men fart through their penis to get an erection (my friend was serious!) And then he added that girls can do a similar thing. I couldn't believe what I just heard. How in the world was that possible?
Stunned, I yelled: "You mean to tell me that girls can fart through their penises???"
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I am by far the biggest idiot, because I hit Ctrl-A then Ctrl-C on the first page of this topic. Then I put it in quotes in this thread.

I am by far the biggest idiot, because I hit Ctrl-A then Ctrl-C on the first page of this topic. Then I put it in quotes in this thread.

I don't think that counts... unless you did it accidenatilly.

I'm the biggest idiot, because I didn't know what "Thriller" sounded like until last week.

I am by far the biggest idiot, because I hit Ctrl-A then Ctrl-C on the first page of this topic. Then I put it in quotes in this thread.
Yes, that definately beats my sweaty ass-crack.

6 Entries! Over halfway there!

I'm the biggest idiot because I've actually continued to read this thread to this point.
:cool:
(See, I've insulted the creator of the thread, the one who gives out the prizes, and everyone who's posted on it, thus making me unpopular and reviled. How stupid is that?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!??!?!??????????????!)

(See, I've insulted the creator of the thread, the one who gives out the prizes, and everyone who's posted on it, thus making me unpopular and reviled. How stupid is that?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!??!?!??????????????!)

Uh, yeah, we got that.

But hey, you might just win.

And with the stupidity I'd have to display to let you win, I could enter!

I had an argument with my left armpit once when I was drunk. According to all accounts I lost. The same night I fell in love with a black labrador which was loose in the streets, and chased it for an hour and a half shouting "(Slurred speech) Come back my darling, all is forgiven!"

Now I think you'll agree, that is fair idiotic

Although not as idiotic as thinking I could win against my left armpit, famed for its debating skills for miles around

Uh, yeah, we got that.

But hey, you might just win.

And with the stupidity I'd have to display to let you win, I could enter!
LOL!
(See, now I'm sucking up to you in a shameless attempt to win! How stupid is that!!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!??!!??!???!?!!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!??!??!?)

LOL!
(See, now I'm sucking up to you in a shameless attempt to win! How stupid is that!!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!??!!??!???!?!!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!??!??!?)
So stupid, my right armpit could outsmart you. And he's the stupid one.

So stupid, my right armpit could outsmart you. And he's the stupid one.
I'm so stupid I can't even think of a witty quip to return to this line.
HOW STUPID IS THAT!!!?!???!???!???!???!?!???!??!?!???!??!?!???!?!??!??!??!??!?!?!?!!!!??!??!?!??!?!??!??!?!??!?!?? !?!??!??!?!!?!??!?

:D

I'm so stupid I can't even think of a witty quip to return to this line.
HOW STUPID IS THAT!!!?!???etc.
:D
Quite intelligent really, you know my left armpit could form a witty riposte to any counter-attack you make. HA, you are not all stupid!

Quite intelligent really, you know my left armpit could form a witty riposte to any counter-attack you make. HA, you are not all stupid!
You claim I am not stupid, and yet I continue to post on this ridiculous thread!
And I haven't even come up with a good running gag like your armpit thing!
Unless you count my excessive use of punctuation!!?!?!??!!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!
KNEEL BEFORE ME, TRIBES OF LONGTON, I AM YOUR IDIOT KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HA!

You claim I am not stupid, and yet I continue to post on this ridiculous thread!
And I haven't even come up with a good running gag like your armpit thing!
Unless you count my excessive use of punctuation!!?!?!??!!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!
KNEEL BEFORE ME, TRIBES OF LONGTON, I AM YOUR IDIOT KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HA!

I also continue to post on this thread. You may be the Idiot King, but I am the Idiotville village idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND I use silly words like n00b as if they were actually clever or cool!1!1!1!1!1!1!

Until I was about 12 years old I used to wonder why the hell there were these signs on restaurants and fast food places that read "TOGO." On day it dawned on me that they said "To Go" (as in takeout)...now, I'm not really sure if that could be called stupidity or creativity...

Until I was about 12 years old I used to wonder why the hell there were these signs on restaurants and fast food places that read "TOGO." On day it dawned on me that they said "To Go" (as in takeout)...now, I'm not really sure if that could be called stupidity or creativity...
I did something like that, except I thought those TO LET signs on buildings for rent had had an I removed and were actually public lavatories. I found out when I tried to take a slash in one and was almost arrested when I was 10

I once argued with a friend for fourteen hours over a political question, only for it to turn out he was talking monkeys, not candidates. Sadly, no one else could tell the difference either.

Why am I the biggest idiot? Who in their right mind argues for that long about politics at one stretch?

Here's another example of my stupidity: The other day I was transferring shampoo from a big bottle to a smaller one so that when I travelled I didn't have to give up my special shampoo, but also did't have to carry around a big bottle. So I'm using a funnel, thinking that the gloopy stuff is filling the other bottle, for about fifteen minutes. Then, I think, well, this is taking a long time, so I look inside the smaller bottle. Empty. Dumfounded, I look a the bathroom counter. Shampoo everywhere! How did I not notice? (It actually had run out the other side of the funnel, because it was too gloopy to fit through. Luckily it went into the sink (which happened to be closed) so I didn't waste a whole bottle.) Space cadet!

Here's another example of my stupidity: The other day I was transferring shampoo from a big bottle to a smaller one so that when I travelled I didn't have to give up my special shampoo, but also did't have to carry around a big bottle. So I'm using a funnel, thinking that the gloopy stuff is filling the other bottle, for about fifteen minutes. Then, I think, well, this is taking a long time, so I look inside the smaller bottle. Empty. Dumfounded, I look a the bathroom counter. Shampoo everywhere! How did I not notice? (It actually had run out the other side of the funnel, because it was too gloopy to fit through. Luckily it went into the sink (which happened to be closed) so I didn't waste a whole bottle.) Space cadet!
That is, indeed, quite stupid...

...PREPARE TO HAVE A BATTLE OF WITS WITH MY RIGHT ARMPIT!

I also continue to post on this thread. You may be the Idiot King, but I am the Idiotville village idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND I use silly words like n00b as if they were actually clever or cool!1!1!1!1!1!1!
I applied for the post of Idiotville village idiot, but they said I was so stupid, it would spoil the point of it all, as people would be filled with arrogant pity for my colossal stupidity, instead of the slight feeling of condescending superiority they feel for you.
How's that?/?!//?!/!??1/1//1/??!/1/!?!/!?1//!?!1/1/!?!1/1?11/?!/1/11?

as long as you use deodorant...

as long as you use deodorant...
are you kidding? The right one is the 'Hilbilly' armpit. You'll be lucky if he doesn't attempt to bugger you, let alone kill you with his incessant pong

I once farted, very loudly, in front of Sir Richard Attenbourgh and a hall full of delegates for the Muscular Dystrophy group, I then started laughing so much that I farted some more, I was last seen low running to the hall exit with five hundred eyes burning into my back.
Only an idiot could do that. :headbang:

alright, here's another one: I'm an atheist (no that doesn't make me an idiot) and I say (out of habit) "Oh My GOD!" just a little hypocritical

alright, here's another one: I'm an atheist (no that doesn't make me an idiot) and I say (out of habit) "Oh My GOD!" just a little hypocritical
Yes, but not stupid. Stupid would be to call out 'Cheese is nice in you're butt crack' in front of the United Nations

go on, i dare you

A. I first posted the following on the wrong thread cuz i have a lot of windows open
B.stupid people don't get into the United Nations,...OH! you mean on NS!!!!
(not kidding, at first I thought that you seriously meant THE UN.)

A. I first posted the following on the wrong thread cuz i have a lot of windows open
B.stupid people don't get into the United Nations,...OH! you mean on NS!!!!
(not kidding, at first I thought that you seriously meant THE UN.)
I did mean THE UN... why is that stupid?



*part of evil and shoddy plot to take over as reigning idiot: The Ewok Raving Hamster Party endorses this stupidity*

damn. that was meant to be size 1. why does this always go wrong?

I just found out that I can't post more than 50,000 characters at a time! Beat that!

I just found out that I can't post more than 50,000 characters at a time! Beat that!
*slaps Foxxinnia across the face*

This is stupidity, not monotony. There is a difference. I think.

*retracts slap*

damn. that was meant to be size 1. why does this always go wrong?Why, aren't you brilliant? I expected nothing less of you. Oh, about the UN--I suppose that just proves my idiocy...is that a word?
Don't you just love how the idiocy just devolves and unfolds on this idiot striken thread?

Why, aren't you brilliant? I expected nothing less of you. Oh, about the UN--I suppose that just proves my idiocy...is that a word?
Don't you just love how the idiocy just devolves and unfolds on this idiot striken thread?

ah, it's like the blind leading the blind. Or like Dumbasses Reunited

One day in history class last year we were asked to discuss our prefered form of government, or an ideal form of government. So I said somewhat libertarian direct democracy...with a council of elders! Not only did I contradict myself, but i used those words and was entirely serious. Everyone laughed at me for about ten minutes. Honestly, I really don't find it that amusing. At the time I was thinking of wise, experienced people proposing ideas that were then considered by the general populous. It didn't help that I continued to explain the fine details of this form of government while everyone laughed around me.

are we dead yet?

are we dead yet?
Too sleepy. . . Can't think of joke . . .

We now have more than enough to start the judging. Excuse me a moment while I review the entries.

Aaaaaaaaaaand the winner is....

The Tribes of Longton!!! for his armpit argument!

Pandaemoniae came in close second for his idea of a government!
He will recieve a Panasonic DVD player along with 3 DVDs of his choice!

The rest get your Lionel Richie bobblehead consolation prize!!

Aaaaaaaaaaand the winner is....

The Tribes of Longton!!! for his armpit argument!

Pandaemoniae came in close second for his idea of a government!
He will recieve a Panasonic DVD player along with 3 DVDs of his choice!

The rest get your Lionel Richie bobblehead consolation prize!!
I would just like to say: we're all stupid for actually believing we might win something. Unless I actually get $1000000 then woooo!

I would just like to say: we're all stupid for actually believing we might win something. Unless I actually get $1000000 then woooo!

woooooooo!!