NationStates Jolt Archive

My little sister is enough to drive anyone to despair. I think I would get away with murder on the grounds of diminished responsibility.

With that said, does anyone have any good recipes for the cooking of 15 year old females?

tartar

saute'ed with lots of random chinese sauce, duck sauce maybe, throw in some chives or something

Steamed and lots of mustard

Just give her to me. I'll... take care of her.

My little sister is enough to drive anyone to despair. I think I would get away with murder on the grounds of diminished responsibility.

With that said, does anyone have any good recipes for the cooking of 15 year old females?

I have an ameircan friend who informs me that they are best baked, with lemon-honey glaze.

Just give her to me. I'll... take care of her.

She's mine,
I like em raw! ;)

She's mine,
I like em raw! ;)
Hey man, I called her!


edit: whoa, I have 666 posts

FIRST, you got to decapitate her head, and pull out the spinal cord. And make sure you clean the knife properly. Because eating brain material is a big NoNo. Unless you want to get the laughing disease. (Can't remember it's scientific term). Don't believe Hannibal. He's a bullshit liar, he'll laugh himself to death soon.

How do you want to eat her? Many different meals? Or just one big BBQ?

Because what I recommend is eating her in portions. First, cut lower part of the back. Slightly above her buttocks. That is the 'Oysters', where the meat is most tender and juicy. This part is best, for just normal stir fry in onions, garlic and butter. MmMmMmm.. Heavenly.

What I recommend is you take out the organs and just eat the meat. Some of the organs like the stomach and all are just nasty. Unless your Asian. You can use the innards, and make Hamish. Or just throw grind them all up and make sausages. (Tie the parts up ini string bag, and soak in olive oil, brings out the juices)(And for Gawds sake, throw away the smelly vagina, you pervert). The sausages, is nicely cooked, when you split them in half, then you put cheese in them. then Sprinkle nachos. ooOoO.. Heavenly.

Serve some to your parents and look totally oblivious when they ask where you sister is.

Don't eat the breast though. Their all just fatty material (however good for BBQ, I suggest you cut them off and slice them into tiny chunks to melt them over a bbq, the fats would have a wonderful aroma). However the chest bone, is nice for ribs, Add any bbq sauce according to your desire.

Some of the organs like the stomach and all are just nasty.

You could make haggis (although thats usually sheep, still I suppose it might work). Stop being so wastefull :)

And you should be able to use her brain to tan her hide. Isn't that the Native American technique for curing animal hides?

I'm sorry, but as a leftist liberal, that's way too old for me. I only eat babies.

Although, I've found a nice recipie that involves wrapping the american flag around the child, then lighting it on fire while swearing allegience to Adolf Saddam bin Laden Noriega.

Well when you do eat her invite me over OR you could sell her as a sex slave I've got three dollars right here for her.

As for the meat the calf is the usually the largest payload I suggest a large amount of Worstchershire sauce soak the meat in that until it gets nice and juicy and use the buttock and breast fat to grease the pan not only producing a good aroma but offering that extra mile of taste.

As for the buttocks meat well that's very tender meat so you cook it gently to accent the natural flavor.

FIRST, you got to decapitate her head, and pull out the spinal cord. And make sure you clean the knife properly. Because eating brain material is a big NoNo. Unless you want to get the laughing disease. (Can't remember it's scientific term). Don't believe Hannibal. He's a bullshit liar, he'll laugh himself to death soon.

How do you want to eat her? Many different meals? Or just one big BBQ?

Because what I recommend is eating her in portions. First, cut lower part of the back. Slightly above her buttocks. That is the 'Oysters', where the meat is most tender and juicy. This part is best, for just normal stir fry in onions, garlic and butter. MmMmMmm.. Heavenly.

What I recommend is you take out the organs and just eat the meat. Some of the organs like the stomach and all are just nasty. Unless your Asian. You can use the innards, and make Hamish. Or just throw grind them all up and make sausages. (Tie the parts up ini string bag, and soak in olive oil, brings out the juices)(And for Gawds sake, throw away the smelly vagina, you pervert). The sausages, is nicely cooked, when you split them in half, then you put cheese in them. then Sprinkle nachos. ooOoO.. Heavenly.

Serve some to your parents and look totally oblivious when they ask where you sister is.

Don't eat the breast though. Their all just fatty material (however good for BBQ, I suggest you cut them off and slice them into tiny chunks to melt them over a bbq, the fats would have a wonderful aroma). However the chest bone, is nice for ribs, Add any bbq sauce according to your desire.
you've thought about this before havnt you

Naw. Just trying to be creative. I thought we would churn up more creative idea's. I'm actually kind of dissapointed.

roasted with the touch of lemon. :headbang:

Eat her? Thats such a waste of a 15 year old girl!

Nepotism + Insect = best

15's just a bad age entirely, too old for that nice soft young child flesh but not old enough to have picked up the depth of flavouring one can expect from an adult. The thigh is usually a larger complete piece of flesh than the calf though, but watch out for the veins - I prefer deviening the entire body early in the butchering process. I wouldn't worry about the brain unless you are a Pacific Islander, the likehood of Korwasi (?sp) in anyone else is effectively nil.

The primary thing to remember is that human is a very fatty meat, so treat it that way, not like dolphin. My guess is that it would be best to use the traditional long pork recipes on a "child" that old - the good ol' barbeque rarely goes wrong, especially if she still has a significant portion of baby fat left. If she's more of a Kate Moss type then you have to go with a soup in order to get anything, remove the organs and any steaks you can find and stew the rest to get all the meat off the bones.

As for the skin, I usually don't bother but I hear than nifty lampshades can be made from it. It's just my preference but I favor removing the hair before skinning the body. I always try to remove the skin with as few cuts to it as possible, for this I find starting with a cut across the shoulders the best place to start - it's just a challenge since I don't use the skin.

A word of caution on the spleen, it can easily be overcooked, a quick sear on the sides and edges and no more than 300 degrees to cook the inside.

* Waits for TV coverage of person eating 15 year old relative *

I prefer them raw, but who am I to judge? :eek: :rolleyes: :D

I'm sorry, but as a leftist liberal, that's way too old for me. I only eat babies.

Ok, not sure quite what being a "leftist liberal" really has to do with anything.

Anyway, roasting would be quite good, along with some Yorkshire pudding (yes i'm British) even though human flesh is supposedly more like pork than beef, still I suppose it would suffice. I agree with Squi about the meat though, it may be rather tough and tasteless.