NationStates Jolt Archive

that's right folks, step right up and be amazed at the awesome and mysterious powers of free soviets! you might even say that they are awesterious! so come on, come on, who wants to be the first to ask the awesterious free soviets a question about their future?

Go ahead and predict my future

unfortunately, you will die a horrible death at the hands of a rabid pack of kindergartners. but on the plus side you will save three dollars and 19 cents at the grocery store thanks to that little keychain card barcode thingy.

Oh oh, do me!

What will happen to my cat in the year 2041?

csw, you and science will make sweet sweet love in your secret underground lab (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=367277). but then your relationship will hit the rocks when the subsequent explosion throws you against the wall. later you will discover the joys of bird watching.

What will happen to my cat in the year 2041?

there won't be any cats in the year 2041, as they were all wiped out in the plague. instead you will have recently been conquered by the apes you had been keeping as pets/slaves.

What do you see in my future? Does Kerry win the election?

What do you see in my future?

i foresee many hours spent stuck in traffic. which is amuzing and sad considering that you were supposed to be the getaway driver.

Does Kerry win the election?

alas, even i cannot predict the outcome of events that hinge solely upon the uncertainty principle of quantum mechanics. i can, however, determine either his speed or his position with fairly good precision.

alas, even i cannot predict the outcome of events that hinge solely upon the uncertainty principle of quantum mechanics.

Does it make a difference if Bush doesn't believe in quantum mechanics?

there won't be any cats in the year 2041, as they were all wiped out in the plague. instead you will have recently been conquered by the apes you had been keeping as pets/slaves.
Too bad, I would have prefered to be taken over by my pet cats.

Does it make a difference if Bush doesn't believe in quantum mechanics?

sadly, no. however, we could try to prove it to him by demonstrting the "schrodinger's president" experiment.

Too bad, I would have prefered to be taken over by my pet cats.

given what happens in the centuries that follow, i can safely say that we probably all would.

sadly, no. however, we could try to prove it to him by demonstrting the "schrodinger's president" experiment.

Ah yes, the experiment that showed that an observer cannot know the position of both the President and the Vice President at the same time.

What will happen to the kitten we (two friends and I) designed bionic legs for, but never lived long enough to use and is currently burried in my back yard?

so who else cares to know their future thanks to the awesterious powers of free soviets? you there, in the back! yes, you sir...

What will happen to the kitten we (two friends and I) designed bionic legs for, but never lived long enough to use and is currently burried in my back yard?

suffice it to say,

we can rebuild him. we have the technology. we have the capability to build the world's first bionic zombie kitty...

suffice it to say,

we can rebuild him. we have the technology. we have the capability to build the world's first bionic zombie kitty...
The lab's being used :(

did you not do the death by number thread

my number was 1488
i got no reply

did you not do the death by number thread

¿no?

what is this thing of which you speak?

Ah yes, the experiment that showed that an observer cannot know the position of both the President and the Vice President at the same time.

actually, i believe that you may be refering to the dick cheney entanglement experiment.

actually, i believe that you may be refering to the dick cheney entanglement experiment.

Where Dick Cheney can only be in one Swing State at any given time?

that's right folks, step right up and be amazed at the awesome and mysterious powers of free soviets! you might even say that they are awesterious! so come on, come on, who wants to be the first to ask the awesterious free soviets a question about their future?

Will we cut your head off with a gladius?

Where Dick Cheney can only be in one Swing State at any given time?
And you don't know which until you look? Or is that the Dick Cheney's cat principle?

Will we cut your head off with a gladius?

no. and i strongly suggest that you be careful with pointy objects next week.

And you don't know which until you look? Or is that the Dick Cheney's cat principle?

no, its that he could be either a wave or a particle depending on how the state is swinging

hehe... Which nation could we defeat with the smallest amount of consequences as possible?

What does the future hold in store for me?

Will there ever be a moral case for anarchy ?
And will I get that job I'm going for on tuesday ?
Will I pass my exams ?

no, its that he could be either a wave or a particle depending on how the state is swinging

It's John Kerry who flips back and forth between being a wave or a particle, not Dick Cheney.

Will there ever be a moral case for anarchy ?
And will I get that job I'm going for on tuesday ?
Will I pass my exams ?

1. there already is one, provided you accept the premises of the argument.
2. jobs are over-rated.
3. so is passing.

outlook not so good

Please predict my future.

What does the future hold in store for me?

would you believe a place in the world record books for balancing the largest number of cocktail umbrellas on your nose while singing "it's raining men"?

would you believe a place in the world record books for balancing the largest number of cocktail umbrellas on your nose while singing "it's raining men"?
Naked?

will they pick up vodka in my last wiz-quiz

Please predict my future.

come the revolution you will lead the counter-revolutionary hippies in singing rousing choruses of "all we are saying...is give war a chance"

will they pick up vodka in my last wiz-quiz

you, sir, speak in riddles i do not understand.

It's John Kerry who flips back and forth between being a wave or a particle, not Dick Cheney.

now now, it is true of all politicians. wave-politician duality, you know.

Ewww do me do me! Well that's not what I meant!

What's my future! ;)

Ewww do me do me! Well that's not what I meant!

What's my future! ;)

for you, the future holds much joy and happiness in the form of your own private toy factory...




once you travel to the north pole and enslave santa...






you bastard.

who else will have the secrets of time revealed unto them through the awesteriounding powers that reside within me?

would you believe a place in the world record books for balancing the largest number of cocktail umbrellas on your nose while singing "it's raining men"?


Uh no I wouldn't believe that... :eek:

ROFL!

I already have my future well planned out. Let's see how accurate you are:

Go ahead. :)

I already have my future well planned out. Let's see how accurate you are:

Go ahead. :)

oddly enough your future is actually quite short. i guess that'll learn ya to stop upping the ante in elaborate pranks.

:eek: I knew I shouldn't have hit Ape with that stun gun. *sigh*

*goes batty*

HEYA!! Do me! I want to know my future! =^_^=

*goes batty*

HEYA!! Do me! I want to know my future! =^_^=

you will eventually become president. though it will only be of the ace of base fan club. but you'd be surprised at the amount of power you can wield from that position. we're talking about nuclear pre-emptive strikes here.

Oooh, let me join the bandwagon!!

Ooo! Ooo! Mee! Me!

And I.

jamunga, for you i see only pain.


yes, a lifetime supply of sandwiches and croissants and such from au bon pain bakery cafes.

Ooo! Ooo! Mee! Me!

aaah! the horror! in your future i see a dead sunken city where the geometry is all wrong. don't open the door!

And I.

you shall get a puppy.

What's in store for me, o wise obviously magical Free Soviets person. will i cause angst among your little groupies, or will i simply be ejected from the system almost immediately by big bro. tick tock, the clock is ticking, o ignorer of physics and the like

What do you see for me?

you shall get a puppy.

I'm not a dog person. I think you don't have the skillz to pay dem billz, man.

I'm not a dog person. I think you don't have the skillz to pay dem billz, man.

note that i did not say "willingly". or "for a pet".

do not question the awesterious powers of free soviets!

What's in store for me, o wise obviously magical Free Soviets person. will i cause angst among your little groupies, or will i simply be ejected from the system almost immediately by big bro. tick tock, the clock is ticking, o ignorer of physics and the like


the clock may be ticking in general, but your's won't be in 2009. that's when you will get one of them new-fangled deejitle watches.

What do you see for me?


1.8 children and an eight car garage. too bad about the other .2 kids and the utter lack of bathrooms though.

WOW. Kerry has a quantum particle for a brain. That explains much.

Go ahead, predict.

1.8 children and an eight car garage. too bad about the other .2 kids and the utter lack of bathrooms though.

Wow, you're good.

Hello Free Soviets! If I drink more coffee, will it affect my immortal soul?

1.8 children and an eight car garage. too bad about the other .2 kids and the utter lack of bathrooms though.
*dies of laughter*

Will there EVER be a Anarchist Revolution in the United States????

When will I win the NS World Cup?

Greetings, Free Soviets! What does the future hold for the Great and Most Feared Delegate of the Anticapitalist Alliance?

(Um, that's me)

Great and Most Feared? Come back when you've been the ACA Delegate for six months.

So, anyway, Free Soviets, knock yourself out. Or me. Or whatever, just do the predicto-thingy.

What will I do in two minutes?

I what year will the U.S. fall?

Go ahead, predict.

you will be a traitor to humanity when you side with the apes in the great ape rebellion that i mentioned previously. this will work out ok for you for a little while, until a new war breaks out between the apes and the hidieously deformed mutant humans living in the ruined city. then you will be sent out as a mediator, only to be captured and forced to dress up like a mailman and dance for the mutants' entertainment.

Predict my future!

Hello Free Soviets! If I drink more coffee, will it affect my immortal soul?

in 2012 it will be discovered that only coffee drinker soul's are actually immortal. but they will also discover that there can be only one. and verily music from the band queen will fill the streets and epic battles will be fought using poorly choreographed martial arts.

Will there EVER be a Anarchist Revolution in the United States????

no. but this is mostly because the united states is actually just one of history's most elaborate hoaxes. did you really think something so absurd could actually exist?

When will I win the NS World Cup?

when the other teams are even worse than you are

Greetings, Free Soviets! What does the future hold for the Great and Most Feared Delegate of the Anticapitalist Alliance?

(Um, that's me)

i fear that you shall fair quite poorly during the great beer shortage of '07. the only solution is to drink more now so as to prepare yourself for those dark times.

i fear that you shall fair quite poorly during the great beer shortage of '07. the only solution is to drink more now so as to prepare yourself for those dark times.

Relax, I'm on it.

So, anyway, Free Soviets, knock yourself out. Or me. Or whatever, just do the predicto-thingy.

after earning your millions selling fancy bottles of dehydrated water to american yuppies, you will finally be able to finance your dream of owning a giant space lazer cannon. good luck getting anyone to help you put it into orbit.

What will I do in two minutes?

i'm sorry, but more than two minutes has passed since you asked and i can only see the future.

you will be a traitor to humanity when you side with the apes in the great ape rebellion that i mentioned previously. this will work out ok for you for a little while, until a new war breaks out between the apes and the hidieously deformed mutant humans living in the ruined city. then you will be sent out as a mediator, only to be captured and forced to dress up like a mailman and dance for the mutants' entertainment.
You're right about the siding with apes part. But I would never allow myself to be captured by those hideous mutated humans. I would trigger the doomsday device that I am currently working on. And thanks to your input I will now set the trigger to go off whenever I start to perform a certain dance move. And the end of the world dance is.........................................................................
..........................
...................................................
.......
.................
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
------------------------------------
...............................................................................
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
========================







>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
.............................................................................
...The Macarena. I would dance that dance the moment it looked like I was going to be captured.

Predict my future!


your future is clouded in mystery. however, your can always count on death and taxes.

What BAC does the future hold for me?

What BAC does the future hold for me?

the cops will claim that it is over the legal limit, but you will maintain that you "only had one beer ociffer".

What BAC does the future hold for me?

Much less than the legal limit. But that won't stop you from being a horrible driver.

Sorry if I'm stealing your thunder, Free Soviets.

Ahh... but what, FS, does the future hold for you?

Have naked women and get them t ofight eachother

Sorry if I'm stealing your thunder, Free Soviets.

no, by all means go on. others who feel as though they have the gift are welcome to contribute.

Ahh... but what, FS, does the future hold for you?

a move to idaho, where the idaho militia will declare me "king of the mountains". united under my rule we shall conquer those bastards in wyoming and put them to work in our vast potato farms. from there we shall spread tyranny and fear across the land. but my time as king will be cut short when i am reminded that i have to go to an anarchist convention in washington dc.

Yo, FreeSov, what goes in the future for me?

Yo, FreeSov, what goes in the future for me?

you, sir, shall be the unwitting cause of the great beer shortage of '07. this means great danger for you, so you'd probably best take up long distance running.

Sweet.

How will my plan to reunite the communist party end?

How will my plan to reunite the communist party end?

With a severed body on the floor, and lots of Mexican candy in your pockets.

on this we agree

on this we agree

I thought you were going to say the pinata was made in China.

note that i did not say "willingly". or "for a pet".

do not question the awesterious powers of free soviets!

Verily, I have learnt my lesson.

*Crosses Free Soviet's palm with silver*

Well?

Which would I be best served by keeping (assuming I can only keep one):
............-Fluffy handcuffs
............-Lickable Body Spray
............-Silly whip thing
And why?

Oooh, and who will be the next (...first? :() person to address me as 'Serving Wench'?

Will Nuclear Winter really balance out Global Warming?

Shall I be able to become the absolute dictator of Belgium and make it a world empire?

Go on then. Predict my future.

::Hands over a 1000 yen bill::

And what have you to say about my future?

What about me?

Preebles- You shall live a good life, somewhat truncated by an unfortunate accident involving trout, a time machine, and bubblegum.

Shaed-The fluffy handcuffs, as they will be the basis of your pact with Ralph the Lesser Demon. And eventually the whole world shall refer to you as serving wench.

Empath-Yes, but mutated badger/scorpions shall rule the earth.

Camewot-Yes, but only if you blow up every other nation on earth. Happy hunting.

LinkinParker- You shall infuriate our badger/scorpion overlords and will start a (failed) rebellion with the rhubarb miners.

Daistallia-Japanese that's about five dollars. I need more than that.

Monotonous-You shall spend the rest of your life eating, sleeping, and doing a single boring job.

And what does time hold for myself?

And what does time hold for myself?

a 6 year stint as head chef at a waffle house.

Predict your future, Free Soviets. I'm curious.

*Crosses Free Soviet's palm with silver*

Well?

unlike waffle housey back there, you will start up a successful new 24-hour breakfast chain. the ultra-nationalist house of pancakes. pancakes uber alles!

I wonder, oh great Free Soviets, what will my future be like?
Say, for example, what it will be of me in 20 years?

Which would I be best served by keeping (assuming I can only keep one):
............-Fluffy handcuffs
............-Lickable Body Spray
............-Silly whip thing
And why?

Oooh, and who will be the next (...first? :() person to address me as 'Serving Wench'?

#1. keep the whip. it will be very handy when you wind up in egypt trying to track down the location of the holy grail.

#2. me. now bring me more mead, serving wench.

Will Nuclear Winter really balance out Global Warming?

after being conquered in the great ape revolt, does it really matter?

Shall I be able to become the absolute dictator of Belgium and make it a world empire?

no, of course not, that's silly.

Go on then. Predict my future.

you will start a trend that will sweep the globe - used toothpick collecting

::Hands over a 1000 yen bill::

And what have you to say about my future?

nine bucks eh? nice.

for some reason, all i see is tokyo getting flattened by godzilla again.

What about me?

ummm, just live for today, ok?

Predict your future, Free Soviets. I'm curious.

i actually did, a few pages back.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7314870&postcount=88

#1. keep the whip. it will be very handy when you wind up in egypt trying to track down the location of the holy grail.

Better get me some sunscreen too then.

#2. me. now bring me more mead, serving wench.

Yay! *brings mead, and settles down to watch more fortune telling*

Oh great and wise Free Soviets. Will I finally find a kindred (and preferrably double-jointed,) spirit, or does fate have another path for me?

a 6 year stint as head chef at a waffle house.

Already did that.

O Great Seeing Free Soviets, please tell me about my next romantic partner!

Do me!

Do me!

Is that a proposition? *raises brow*

Is that a proposition? *raises brow*

I knew someone was bound to make this comment. I must be psychic.

you shall get a puppy.


Wait....

I get a watery demise, in an underwater city with bad geometry...

and he gets a PUPPY??

I got hosed!

Wait....

I get a watery demise, in an underwater city with bad geometry...

and he gets a PUPPY??

I got hosed!

I am teh pwnz0r.

I wonder, oh great Free Soviets, what will my future be like?
Say, for example, what it will be of me in 20 years?

you will be a famous rockstar in kazakhstan, skillfully mixing japanese pop with the islamic call to prayer.

Oh great and wise Free Soviets. Will I finally find a kindred (and preferrably double-jointed,) spirit, or does fate have another path for me?


fate has no plans for this weekend, and wonders why you never call her back.

Wait....

I get a watery demise, in an underwater city with bad geometry...

and he gets a PUPPY??

I got hosed!

its not my fault your future sucks. on the plus side, if you do open the door the puppy will probably die too.

O Great Seeing Free Soviets, please tell me about my next romantic partner!

you will be amazed at the amount of romance that can be added to a game of mini golf with some candles and nice music. though when your golf partner gets three hole-in-ones in a row and starts jumping around saying "in your face! i rule, you suck!", it kind of kills the mood.

Do me!

shrimp boat cabin boy!

you will be a famous rockstar in kazakhstan, skillfully mixing japanese pop with the islamic call to prayer.

It's been done.

Futurize me, Cap'n!

Live for today? Am I going to be killed, or do you mean every day, starting from tomorrow is going to be unbelieveably dull, therefore, I should party?

Free Soviets is now under my control, and he is standing next to a big red button marked (in big simple terms for george bush) Nuke everyone. Guess your futures now, you poor saps who are not currently boarding your own personalised time machines! See you in Hell (or Hull, whichever you deem worse)!!!!

Oh shit, I just realised that my time machine has been substituted for a small overripe turnip. Dear God. I'm going to Hull. :eek:

Aaah. Is this what the awsterious Free Soviets meant?
*boards time machine*

hey could you hop to the future and make me a time machine, bring it back and lend it to me. i dont like hull

My horoscope today says I should party and be merry, because tomorrow I'm screwed.

Can you do better? please?

everyone is dead or dying in a nuclear winter the likes of which no universe has ever seen. that is what will happen if the world continues to read horoscopes. biggest pile of crap i ever saw

Wait .... I have a future?

everyone is dead or dying in a nuclear winter the likes of which no universe has ever seen. that is what will happen if the world continues to read horoscopes. biggest pile of crap i ever saw
Horoscopes are that powerful? Talk about methane explosions, wow...

Will my evil plan to enslave the proletariat by manipulating the World Trade Organisation into banning the 40-hour workweek succeed?

If i just came from the future, and you predicited my future, but it turned out different, but still came true... would that mean, Penguins stole my pants? And if so... what penguin did it... Bet it was damned Pengu wasn't it?! *starts hunting down penguins*\

Anyways... What's my future

yes and no. you will get the 40-hr week banned, but George Bush will then reveal his true form as dumbzilla and crush us all with his ultra-dense singluar brain cell, leaving the only remaining people (republicans) to happily while away their short years working 80-hr weeks for WTO enslaver type

yes and no. you will get the 40-hr week banned, but George Bush will then reveal his true form as dumbzilla and crush us all with his ultra-dense singluar brain cell, leaving the only remaining people (republicans) to happily while away their short years working 80-hr weeks for WTO enslaver type

With no more Liberals, we can finally make advancements in stuff.... *Starts inventing the wheel* :p

Note: I am a republican...i'm just poking fun at stereotypes.

thanks man. you've made my lefty day

Thank you for insulting myself? Or thank you for making you laugh with that analogy?

nope. im just a really thick lefty

and im british

Cor Blimey! :eek: Let's bash in some noggins', Shall we lad? Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! Oy! :p

i am actually british. and, oh my god, like, you know,we totally do all speak, you know, just like you see in, like, every, you know, film you ever saw! so laden with sarcasm it may just collapse under its own weight

So, in my future (you better answer this) do I accomplish my lifes goal of mediocrity, or do I go beyond that, or below that?

This is not a bump...

So, in my future (you better answer this) do I accomplish my lifes goal of mediocrity, or do I go beyond that, or below that?

you will achieve great hieghts of mediocrity and become quite well known for it, thus defeating the whole purpose.

Tell me my future using your awesterious p0w0rz!



Please?

*rubs crystal balls*

Future me o' mighty Sov'

so who else cares to know their future thanks to the awesterious powers of free soviets? you there, in the back! yes, you sir...

You mean ME!? I've never been chosen for anything in my miserable life!

Will I ever find love and happiness?

You mean ME!? I've never been chosen for anything in my miserable life!

Will I ever find love and happiness?

NO! You will hang yourself on Valentines Day after the woman you've been stalking turns you down, for a bigger, smarter, and stronger man!

NO! You will hang yourself on Valentines Day after the woman you've been stalking turns you down, for a bigger, smarter, and stronger man!

:( Damn

:( Damn

But at least your hanging will be front page news! In Section E...

hey mods, though this is an impressive bit of forum archaeology, can we not lock it? i'm still here after all. and it's sorta my fault, since i linked to it in another thread.

hey mods, though this is an impressive bit of forum archaeology, can we not lock it? i'm still here after all. and it's sorta my fault, since i linked to it in another thread.

Does this mean your sight into the future has failed you?

My future?

Does this mean your sight into the future has failed you?

no. it just would look weird if i had told them back then that they would not lock this two years in the future. see, the normies dont deal well knowing that the future is predetermined like that

Go on then Sov...predict mine ;)

Alright, give me your best shot.