NationStates Jolt Archive

It is written:

When there is no more room in Hell, the Dead Shall Walk the Earth.
I quote from the great Ken Forry when I say, "Shoot it man, shoot it in the head."

Ladies and Gentlemen, the end times are soon upon us, and Hell is soon overflowing.
Soon, the Dead shall walk, and we must be ready for the Apocalypse.

Thats right friends, the end will come in the form of a Zombie Infestation.

But Fear not!

The First Reformed Church of the Living Dead, can prepare you for the end.
For is it not written, "Theyre coming for you Barbara?"

Also in the srcriptures it says, "it aint dead, till it quits movin'!"

Amen.

Damn! Where's that damn cricket bat?!

Damn! Where's that damn cricket bat?!


Indeed!


Prepare yourself.'

For it is also written :

"You aint just in here by yourself, boy"

You shall not be alone.

If you use defibrilator paddles to try to restart a zombie's heart, do they get pissed? Or are they touched by the effort?

I take it the Almighty one's name goes by Ash, "Hail to the king baby!"

If you use defibrilator paddles to try to restart a zombie's heart, do they get pissed? Or are they touched by the effort?

The only way to stop them is by "removing the head or destroying the brain"

I take it the Almighty one's name goes by Ash, "Hail to the king baby!"


Nay my friend.

Ash is no God, but he is a prophet.

"Good...evil...Im the one with the shotgun."

If you use defibrilator paddles to try to restart a zombie's heart, do they get pissed? Or are they touched by the effort?


It depends if you let them eat your brains afterwards.
Theyre all pretty much into feasting on the flesh of the living.

It depends if you let them eat your brains afterwards.
Theyre all pretty much into feasting on the flesh of the living.

So they're like politicians then?

So they're like politicians then?


Or lawyers that smell of the grave, really...

Or lawyers that smell of the grave, really...

Then they deserve no mercy! :mad:

Then they deserve no mercy! :mad:


You can always tell a zombie lawyer, they always feed from the bottom.

Wouldn't necromancy be a good trade to take up, here?

Cryomancy is also an option: Freeze and shatter.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."

Just checking, are we allowed to use the Z-word? :confused:

Wouldn't necromancy be a good trade to take up, here?

Cryomancy is also an option: Freeze and shatter.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."


Hmmm....interesting question.

I assume that Necromancy is the arcane art of bringing the dead back to life.
In wich case, Zombies arent fully dead...Theyre "mostly dead".

But..If by Necromancy, you mean CONTROLLING the undead, then thats different.
Hmm..zombie minions.....

Hmmm....interesting question.

I assume that Necromancy is the arcane art of bringing the dead back to life.
In wich case, Zombies arent fully dead...Theyre "mostly dead".

But..If by Necromancy, you mean CONTROLLING the undead, then thats different.
Hmm..zombie minions.....

Mightn't we run into the problem of Necrophilia? Or does this Church not mind that sort of thing?

Make no mistake....the FRCOTLD is here to help humanity survive the impending zombie holocuast.
BUT....who are we to be a wet blanket eh?

Whatever floats yer boat, but those bastards eat the flesh of the living you know.

Careful.

and kill it when your done.

Just curious Squatch, if this is the Reformed Church of the Living Dead, Are we to infer that somewhere there is a Church of the Living Dead that you are splintering off of?

Is this going to become a really pointless online cult because that would be excellent

You coudln't bring back Oscar Wilde, Dante and Aristotle could you. It's just i got an essay on their works to do and I could use their help.

Hey, mods, this is a thread that so far doesn't mention Bush, guns, Nazis, liberals, or rednecks. Lock it, quick!

The Church, its "perfect, baby. Perfect."

Hmmm....interesting question.

I assume that Necromancy is the arcane art of bringing the dead back to life.
In wich case, Zombies arent fully dead...Theyre "mostly dead".

But..If by Necromancy, you mean CONTROLLING the undead, then thats different.
Hmm..zombie minions.....
Necromancy, in most fantasy works that involve it, is generally the art of reanimating formerly-living matter, thus making a dead creature undead. It would also be the art of controlling said creatures.

Zombies, in this context, are traditionally considered "undead", as are animated skeltons, vampires, and liches, though I've never (in my very limited experience) come across a work of fantasy where a necromancer controlled a vampire or lich.

...

If I remember correctly, the undead do rely on properly operating joints; zombies (and pieces thereof), for example, do not generally hover in midair. So, explosives should also work.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."

...

[edit]
Hey, mods, this is a thread that so far doesn't mention Bush, guns, Nazis, liberals, or rednecks. Lock it, quick!
I say we convince Bush to open up the Army armory to the liberals, Nazis, and rednecks and let them deal with the zombies.

There, now they've been mentioned. :D

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

Just curious Squatch, if this is the Reformed Church of the Living Dead, Are we to infer that somewhere there is a Church of the Living Dead that you are splintering off of?


Well LP, truth be told, I just figured that every good church needs a few adjectives.
Like "Reformed" or "Unified"...

So, I threw in "First" and "Reformed".

Is this going to become a really pointless online cult because that would be excellent


If it provides a tax break.....sure, why not!

Necromancy, in most fantasy works that involve it, is generally the art of reanimating formerly-living matter, thus making a dead creature undead. It would also be the art of controlling said creatures.

Zombies, in this context, are traditionally considered "undead", as are animated skeltons, vampires, and liches, though I've never (in my very limited experience) come across a work of fantasy where a necromancer controlled a vampire or lich.

...

If I remember correctly, the undead do rely on properly operating joints; zombies (and pieces thereof), for example, do not generally hover in midair. So, explosives should also work.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."

...

[edit]

I say we convince Bush to open up the Army armory to the liberals, Nazis, and rednecks and let them deal with the zombies.

There, now they've been mentioned. :D

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester


I agree completely.

All walks of life, wether black, white, conservative, liberal, urban, or rural...


If you come back from the dead...we're gonna send ya back to hell!

Bump

Well, I've got my lawnmower at the ready...

Well, I've got my lawnmower at the ready...


Singiya!!

Well, I've got my lawnmower at the ready...
Lawnmower? Who needs a lawnmower? A large pair of kitchen shears and two liters of Mtn. Dew work just as well. Or better yet, fire, lots and lots of fire. Let the earth burn. :sniper:

Damn Zombies.... Just won't die.

Hey, wait a second, they're already dead. *Puts away gun and goes home*

Lawnmower? Who needs a lawnmower? A large pair of kitchen shears and two liters of Mtn. Dew work just as well. Or better yet, fire, lots and lots of fire. Let the earth burn. :sniper:

Cos you gotta make sure they're good and dead, only way to do that is to chop them up into teeny little pieces, blood and gore my friend!

I would've said Flymo but I figured that might be uniquely New Zealand and you wouldn't get the reference...but then you might just have missed it anyway I fear :(