NationStates Jolt Archive


If Jesus had been....

Ilham
17-10-2004, 02:53
First off,I don't belive Jesus was the son of God.I think he was merely a prophet of some sort,a teacher or mystic that espoused pretty solid teaching about compassion,empathy,altruism and magnanimity to your fellow human that got corrupted by the early Church for their own purposes.

Secondly,he wasn't a white guy,he wasn't Anglo-Saxon,he was an Arab,aka to all you racist Americans,a 'sand ******'.Well,he was a Semite,but it is close enough anyway.No doubt he had some European blood as his origin was at an ancients crossroads of cultures,of West Asian,European and North African societies,but he wasn't a white guy like everybody protrays him as.He was most probably brown skinned.

Now on to the humour.

If Jesus had been a Bodybuilder with 2 brothers who were martial artists...

http://members.shaw.ca/pierrelyons/fotns3.jpg

he would have kicked ass.

If Jesus had been a bodybuilder who knew martial arts...

http://members.shaw.ca/pierrelyons/B&W7.jpg

He would have eaten the devil's eyes,ripped out his balls,cut off his head and shat down his neck.Then he would have thrown the remains into a latrine.and when Judas betrayed him,no pussyfooting around for this messiah,he would have laid the smackdown on that traitor as well as the Romans who came to arrest him.

oh,and he would have taught his disciples killer martial arts to really 'spread the word'.If that had been in the Bible,I would gladly 'kick ass for the Lord'.

Come on,which is cooler,Jesus Christ who is a martial artist and bodybuilder who kicks ass big time and doesn't pussyfoot around or a carpenter who lived with his mother until he was 30,preached for 3 years then got nailed to a plank of wood and died,but then came back to tell his disciples off for their cowardice.
Marxlan
17-10-2004, 02:58
That's at once awful and... well, it would make me born-again.
J0eg0d
17-10-2004, 02:58
I don't believe Christ was the son of God either. Basically he was a prophet preaching the Jewish faith and somehow his clan scattered across the lands inventing Christianity.
Whest and Kscul
17-10-2004, 02:59
LOL.. nice... :D
Haloman
17-10-2004, 03:01
You should read The Case for Christ, by Lee Strobel. Strobel set out to prove Christianity wrong once and for all, but in the end, converted to christianity.

Good stuff.
J0eg0d
17-10-2004, 03:14
Some of you need to read the Bible and consider that it isn't speaking from the original texts, it been retranslated over a hundred times, and it doesn't even have the complete New Testament scriptures in it.