Alansyists
17-10-2004, 02:04
Guess who's back.
Back again.
Guess who's back.
I'm not dead.
Muhahahahahahaha
Oh I wrote a little paper for my math teacher. The assignment was how do football and math compare:
Let’s see how the opium for the masses correlates with mathematics. Firstly, before you recruit a player, you must check into is criminal record which is often time very colorful. The league rules are very strict , if the player has gone to jail over a dozens times, he is verbally warned. This also depends on the degree of the felony, and these felonies. Which make up a very elaborate system, that requires experience with mathematics. Addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication are all skills used very often in calculating a players criminal record. Rounding is used many times in test scores, distorted statistics are also applied to this new science. For example, a students final grade point average was 0.5, and this was rounded to one. And 1.0 was once again warped by using fractions and decimals into making it look like a 4.0.
I went to a football game the other day with math on my mind. The crowd was filled with dancing idiots with an orange and blue painted on their chests. And I wondered what was the difference between the alcohol in their blood an the legal amount? I counted the number of police that it took to contain and stammering drunkard. Then I wanted to work with negative numbers so I decided to test the fans IQ. I also wanted to compare the average IQ’s of the players and the crowd. I also passed out a few psychological tests, meant to analyze sociopath tendencies, and average maturity amongst the horde of beer guzzling fanatics and the players. I didn’t get to work with negative numbers, but I can assure you they were close.
I got to test the players for steroids with the coach. I was hoping I could work with negatives, but alas I was denied the opportunity. Every test read positive. So I went out and asked the cheerleaders how many of them were virgins. 0, so then I asked another group from another state. And I continued the pattern, it came out like binary which is a simple mathematic language. It was many zeros and an occasional one.
Once I returned to my friend’s house I had to use my time skill to figure out how many hours his parents and his sisters stupid friends talked about the game. And then I converted it into a percentage of their intelligent conversation. And my it was close to those negative numbers I wanted to deal with!
The next mourning I decided to perform a simple neurological experiment on a few of the fans. While they were on brainwave monitors I showed them pictures of maimed Iraqi children, George Bush, Police Brutality, I showed them Klansmen hanging a black man, I showed them one man shooting another. I continued by showing them dying Ethiopian children, and the explosions and aftermath of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. The detector did move, just in the wrong direction. Finally a negative number! Then I showed them a picture of a football, and instantly the detector began to draw large V’s. What had turned my heart up side down, did not affect them the slightest bit. My eyes watering in hatred of their apathy and ignorance.
I said “I’ve got one last math problem for you. How valuable do you think your lives are in a numerical scale?” One fat man arrogantly rose and told me “As high as it can go.” Judging by the IQ tests, psychological analysis, and your brainwaves, I can give you a rough estimate.” “What?” the blob asked.
I shouted “Zero, in other words, absolutely nothing!” His mind went blank like a goldfishes does, and rudely asked “Where’s the beer and the remote control?”
I shook my head in disgust and just walked away. I saw a few men, in a drunken state stumbling around a sports bar. I saw a football fly in the air, and started to calculate a few physics equations in my head. But then I thought, why make such a simple sport, played by complete idiots, and viewed by disgruntled wage slaves more complicated then it is? I suppose I should combat apathy with apathy. The only problem is they are truly ignorant, self centered aspergian people. Me, I’m still walking into the sun cursing the world and it’s inhabitants.
Back again.
Guess who's back.
I'm not dead.
Muhahahahahahaha
Oh I wrote a little paper for my math teacher. The assignment was how do football and math compare:
Let’s see how the opium for the masses correlates with mathematics. Firstly, before you recruit a player, you must check into is criminal record which is often time very colorful. The league rules are very strict , if the player has gone to jail over a dozens times, he is verbally warned. This also depends on the degree of the felony, and these felonies. Which make up a very elaborate system, that requires experience with mathematics. Addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication are all skills used very often in calculating a players criminal record. Rounding is used many times in test scores, distorted statistics are also applied to this new science. For example, a students final grade point average was 0.5, and this was rounded to one. And 1.0 was once again warped by using fractions and decimals into making it look like a 4.0.
I went to a football game the other day with math on my mind. The crowd was filled with dancing idiots with an orange and blue painted on their chests. And I wondered what was the difference between the alcohol in their blood an the legal amount? I counted the number of police that it took to contain and stammering drunkard. Then I wanted to work with negative numbers so I decided to test the fans IQ. I also wanted to compare the average IQ’s of the players and the crowd. I also passed out a few psychological tests, meant to analyze sociopath tendencies, and average maturity amongst the horde of beer guzzling fanatics and the players. I didn’t get to work with negative numbers, but I can assure you they were close.
I got to test the players for steroids with the coach. I was hoping I could work with negatives, but alas I was denied the opportunity. Every test read positive. So I went out and asked the cheerleaders how many of them were virgins. 0, so then I asked another group from another state. And I continued the pattern, it came out like binary which is a simple mathematic language. It was many zeros and an occasional one.
Once I returned to my friend’s house I had to use my time skill to figure out how many hours his parents and his sisters stupid friends talked about the game. And then I converted it into a percentage of their intelligent conversation. And my it was close to those negative numbers I wanted to deal with!
The next mourning I decided to perform a simple neurological experiment on a few of the fans. While they were on brainwave monitors I showed them pictures of maimed Iraqi children, George Bush, Police Brutality, I showed them Klansmen hanging a black man, I showed them one man shooting another. I continued by showing them dying Ethiopian children, and the explosions and aftermath of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. The detector did move, just in the wrong direction. Finally a negative number! Then I showed them a picture of a football, and instantly the detector began to draw large V’s. What had turned my heart up side down, did not affect them the slightest bit. My eyes watering in hatred of their apathy and ignorance.
I said “I’ve got one last math problem for you. How valuable do you think your lives are in a numerical scale?” One fat man arrogantly rose and told me “As high as it can go.” Judging by the IQ tests, psychological analysis, and your brainwaves, I can give you a rough estimate.” “What?” the blob asked.
I shouted “Zero, in other words, absolutely nothing!” His mind went blank like a goldfishes does, and rudely asked “Where’s the beer and the remote control?”
I shook my head in disgust and just walked away. I saw a few men, in a drunken state stumbling around a sports bar. I saw a football fly in the air, and started to calculate a few physics equations in my head. But then I thought, why make such a simple sport, played by complete idiots, and viewed by disgruntled wage slaves more complicated then it is? I suppose I should combat apathy with apathy. The only problem is they are truly ignorant, self centered aspergian people. Me, I’m still walking into the sun cursing the world and it’s inhabitants.