NationStates Jolt Archive

Well? Come up with something interesting or clever.

For myself, I'd like "</life>" on my tombstone.

I don't want a tombstone, or a grave. I want to be cremated and to have my ashes discarded.

I hope I got a whole lot of money wasted on me before I died

i would like to be creamated but if i had a tombstone "Dan, you owe my five $!@#*$# dollars" would go nice along with an all your base thing

I don't want one either. Its a waste of space. Please use the space i'd be using with my grave with something useful and those who miss me may come up with a way to remember me in a way they prefer. They'll have to deal withit, not me.

i was kinda hoping mine would go like this

ashmoria
june19.1957--june 19, 2057

My Tombstone would have pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, and garlic.


(Love to give a great thanks to everyone who failed that 'Reading Instructions Test' and didn't answer the question with their posts.)

My Tombstone would have pepperoni, mushrooms, olives, and garlic.


(Love to give a great thanks to everyone who failed that 'Reading Instructions Test' and didn't answer the question with their posts.)
The pepperoni and sausage for me. I used to chuckle at those old commercials.

I'm gonna be cremated.

I want my ashes flushed down the toilet, for good measure.

Engrave upon the plaque of my urn. On this (engrave date) we partied till midnight with the Ol Coot!

I'm going to be cremated, and my last wish be that my ashes be thrown into the face of someone I really don't like. Hell, I'm not using them!

You know, I didn't really ask people if they intended to be buried. Just what they wanted on their tombstone. If you don't want a tombstone, there's not really any need to make off-topic posts, k?

By the by, thanks to Chaos Bananas for the obligatory Tombstone pizza reference.

Well? Come up with something interesting or clever.

For myself, I'd like "</life>" on my tombstone.

Um ... "Husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great-grandfather, etc.!" :D

"I told you I was sick!"

so now your looking down on me, oh and atheists I am always going to look down on you.

Je me souviens.

I would like pepperoni...

Oh, wait...you aren't referring to the pizza?

I want a statue of me above my tombstone in a glorious position with the words:
"It's about damn time you found my body! I was worried that you'd never find me among the masses of *insert country name here*'s I've killed!"

You know, I didn't really ask people if they intended to be buried. Just what they wanted on their tombstone. If you don't want a tombstone, there's not really any need to make off-topic posts, k?

By the by, thanks to Chaos Bananas for the obligatory Tombstone pizza reference.

You can't be serious. That's like creating a poll asking if someone is Christian or Catholic, then complaining people are spamming if they answer they are agnostic. You created a topic about death, and what one wants to leave behind. Some people want to leave behind nothing. The problem isn't that their posts are spam, but that your question was oversimplified and ignored possible viewpoints. Welcome to the internet.

Maybe the immortal words of Bender Martinez:Kiss my shiny metal ...

I want my urn to say "Cookie Jar" in case someone wants to play a cruel joke.

I would prefer to be cremated as well. However, given our family's preference for tombstones...I'd hope to wind up with something like this:

"I remain, your star"

My honey, during our courtship, used to refer to me as a star...even wrote a poem about it. *^^*

-Asylum Nova

You can't be serious. That's like creating a poll asking if someone is Christian or Catholic, then complaining people are spamming if they answer they are agnostic. You created a topic about death, and what one wants to leave behind. Some people want to leave behind nothing. The problem isn't that their posts are spam, but that your question was oversimplified and ignored possible viewpoints. Welcome to the internet.

Actually, it's more like I started a thread about Catholic beliefs and wound up with a bunch of posts about karma. It's only related in the broadest sense of the word.

"What do you want on your tombstone?" != "How would you like to be disposed of?"

I'm still going to go with my Cookie Jar idea. One of these days my great great great grand nephew is going to make me proud by using his great great great uncle urn to play a trick on his sister with it. :p

I was going to have:

"Too young to die, too drunk to live."

But now that I have quit drinking, hopefully it will read:

"It's about f*&@ing time."

Also, while my casket is being lowered into the ground, I want AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" to be playing. At some point during the song, I want to surprise my guests by having my head shot out of a cannon and have it explode in a dazzling display of fireworks.

I was going to have:

"Too young to die, too drunk to live."

But now that I have quit drinking, hopefully it will read:

"It's about f*&@ing time."

Also, while my casket is being lowered into the ground, I want AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" to be playing. At some point during the song, I want to surprise my guests by having my head shot out of a cannon and have it explode in a dazzling display of fireworks.

LOL!

You know, I can always have a breakaway casket lid, have the upper part of my body and head on a plywood that sits on top of a spring. LOL! That would be soooo cruel to my family at my funeral. I just want to go out with a bang. lol.

Originally, I thought about getting stuffed and mounted inside my house and making it a condition of the will that my wife has to live with the corpse in order to keep the house. That way she would never remarry. I could even get the body posed so it looks as though I am shaking my finger at her.

Maybe the immortal words of Bender Martinez:
That's Bender Bending Martinez (Bending is his middle name) to be exact. ;)
Now, about my tombstone...
"Okay, guys, you can let me out now. It's not funny anymore. Guys?"

Actually, it's more like I started a thread about Catholic beliefs and wound up with a bunch of posts about karma. It's only related in the broadest sense of the word.

"What do you want on your tombstone?" != "How would you like to be disposed of?"

That analogy doesn't work. First: you asked a question, you didn't start a discussion of beliefs. Second: Your question attempted to force people to answer in a specific manner (on the assumption that everyone wants a tombstone).

People who did not fit into your cookie-cutter viewpoint adapted the question and answered in their own way. Much like agnosticism is not an off topic reply to the question of Catholicism vs. Christianity; the topic was religious beliefs, but the question was too restrictive. They adapted the question and answered with a religious viewpoint that was not represented.

Your topic was about death, and what people want left behind after they die. You failed to consider that not everyone wants to leave something behind. People adapted your question and replied on-topic. If you had not phrased your question with an inherent assumption that all people must want tombstones, there would never have been a problem to begin with.

That's what you get when you try to stipulate what viewpoint people can answer a question with. I said it before, and I repeat: welcome to the internet.

Originally, I thought about getting stuffed and mounted inside my house and making it a condition of the will that my wife has to live with the corpse in order to keep the house. That way she would never remarry. I could even get the body posed so it looks as though I am shaking my finger at her.

You can always push it one step futher and have your corpse put in the bedroom! I am cruel I know.

You can always push it one step futher and have your corpse put in the bedroom!


Well, at least that way she could get use out of me when I was dead, you know they call dead bodies "stiffs" for a good reason...It would be quite the role reversal: instead of her lying there cold and motionless and not getting off, it would be me.

I'm undemanding... just a simple...

"Here is Christina, the one who started the world-wide anarchist revolution that transformed Earth into the beautiful place it is today."

Maybe the immortal words of Bender Martinez:

That's Bender Bending Martinez (Bending is his middle name) to be exact. ;)
Now, about my tombstone...
"Okay, guys, you can let me out now. It's not funny anymore. Guys?"

Oof, you guys.

It's Bender Bending Rodriguez.

If things go according to plan, I won't leave behind a body to be buried, and there will be several sites devoted to my death....

Rejistania has quit RealLife (Global kill by GOD)

don't want a tomstone, but if I can't avoid one, I'd like copy of my evil laugh on some sound system to trigger whenever anyone walks past the tomb at night...

Perhaps the ending
has not yet been written.

Pepperoni, and suasage

That analogy doesn't work. First: you asked a question, you didn't start a discussion of beliefs. Second: Your question attempted to force people to answer in a specific manner (on the assumption that everyone wants a tombstone).

People who did not fit into your cookie-cutter viewpoint adapted the question and answered in their own way. Much like agnosticism is not an off topic reply to the question of Catholicism vs. Christianity; the topic was religious beliefs, but the question was too restrictive. They adapted the question and answered with a religious viewpoint that was not represented.

Your topic was about death, and what people want left behind after they die. You failed to consider that not everyone wants to leave something behind. People adapted your question and replied on-topic. If you had not phrased your question with an inherent assumption that all people must want tombstones, there would never have been a problem to begin with.

That's what you get when you try to stipulate what viewpoint people can answer a question with. I said it before, and I repeat: welcome to the internet.

My topic is not about death. My topic is "What do you want on your tombstone?" If you don't want a tombstone, then you obviously cannot have anything engraved upon it. Future crematees need not apply.

Furthermore, I really appreciate it when people tell me what I meant or what I was thinking. It's not like I can tell those sorts of things by myself.

I say again: What do you want on your tombstone? If you can't keep a post on topic, which might I add was the beginning of this little argument, please do not post at all.

Pepperoni, and suasage
you want a misspell on your tombstone... lol

Umm.

"OWNED!!" ?

"Now it's over, I'm dead/And I haven't done anything that I want/or I'm still alive/And there's nothing I want to do" - They Might Be Giants

"I told you I was sick!"

Spike Milligan had "I told you I was ill."

For me though it would be something like "What are you looking at?" or "What got me is behind you!" :rolleyes:

"So, the light was really red!" -- because I'm a bit colourblind, you see.

"I didn't know the soap was lying on the ground"

I intend on being buried on the moon. Though I'll have a plot in a cemetery hear on Earth, but my headstone will have a big arrow pointing up. And possible a change of address note.

don't want a tomstone, but if I can't avoid one, I'd like copy of my evil laugh on some sound system to trigger whenever anyone walks past the tomb at night...

Hmm... an interesting idea.

Oof, you guys.

It's Bender Bending Rodriguez.

Yes, this is true...thank you for correcting the unenlightened on one of the greatest heroes of our time, Bender B. Rodriguez. BTW, as an addendum, it was "BITE my shiny metal ass", not "KISS my shiny metal ass" for those who got that wrong. Panhandlia needs to watch every episode of Futurama 47 times and be re-educated. Sdaeriji is an all-right guy...or lady, if Sdaeriji is a lady. I can't tell.

On my tombstone I want 1989-2236 Last words were "What the f..."

Some one elses name :p

1. "Occupied"
2. Here lies God! Big Bang - 2004.
3. Killed by a jealous husband at the ripe old age of 99.
4. Which way is it to this "Heaven" place, anyways?
5. Good Riddance!
6. Here lies proof of the failure of Modern Medicine!
7. The final investigation proved he was right and the bus driver was wrong.
8. Just another carcass - please move on.
9. Ouch! - Please don't stand so close (in tiny writing)
10. I'm an Atheist, thank God!


Peace through the elimination of dissent - one bullet at a time.
Tom

"What a strange and marvelous ride."

Well? Come up with something interesting or clever.

For myself, I'd like "</life>" on my tombstone.

I would like the works! Green peppers, banana peppers, onions, black olives, 4 different types of cheeses and chicken.

Oh, you ment gravestone...

I want mine to be in the shape of a toilet, I figure people would piss all over my grave anyway so I will make it easier. :p

Mmm.... pizza.

"Everyone digs this!"

Best I could come up with.

Well interred ashes stone would say '......... ' I am thinking I'll get back to you

I don't want a tombstone, or a grave. I want to be cremated and to have my ashes discarded.
Cremated?! Think of the fumes!

Seriously though... leave my body in a cave, cover it with moss, and let nature take its course.

I intend to have my organs donated to science...beynd that, I will probably be buried and have a grave plot no matter what I really want, since I am marrying into a family that's repulsed by the idea of cremation. Frankly, I don't care so long as people remember me after my death...they can throw my body over a cliff for the coyotes to eat if they want.

But as for a clever remark on my tombstone...I could really fuck with people and change my name to Jimmy Hoffa right before i die...therefore, "Here Lies Jimmy Hoffa" would would appear on my gravestone.

I intend on being buried on the moon. Though I'll have a plot in a cemetery hear on Earth, but my headstone will have a big arrow pointing up. And possible a change of address note.
Ahah, good one! I intend to be 'disposed of' on Mars, although this would probably mean my body mass being used as fertilizer in the People's Farms of the Free Peoples Republic of Mars, or something.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y239/NuGo1988/tombstone.jpg

"Nothing to see here. Move along."

Well? Come up with something interesting or clever.
"Do me a favor and pour a couple of beers on my grave, and do not make them pass through your kidneys first!" :D [/KIDDING]

Actually, what I want is:

CPT. Forrest Lee Horn, Sr. BS, BA, MA, PhD
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the protected never know."

"I should've drunk more champagne."

I plan to have my body compressed into a diamond, but if I wanted to put a really small (nearly microscopic) engraving on my diamond, I would have it say:

"Still hard as a rock."

One of two possibilities:

1] I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

2] You kids get outta my yard!

Oh, and to keep up with the Futurama humour:
Return To Sender

Wow! Talk about gravedigging.

"I guess that last piece of ham wasn't good after all."

2] You kids get outta my yard!
...and your little dog, too! :)

Cremated alive,

Hmmm...to fuck with people some more...put on my gravestone, "I wish I had spent more time at the office. Hey, someone had to say it."

Well? Come up with something interesting or clever.

For myself, I'd like "</life>" on my tombstone.

I want motion-tracking automatic paintball guns. :D

Just make sure to keep my hoppers full.

Well? Come up with something interesting or clever.

For myself, I'd like "</life>" on my tombstone.

what I want on my Tombstone:

cheese, sausage and pepperoni

then I'll add a handful of Italian-blend cheese (think it's mozzarella, provolone, asiago, parmesan maybe... something like that) and common pizza seasonings like basil, garlic, parsley and oregano

I add the extra cheese/seasonings because Tombstone pizzas, like most frozen pizzas, don't include enough cheese or spices/herbs.

"*"

how about "Just leave the pizza by the marker." ?

"Take me to Valhalla, where my brothers wait for me"

Oher possibilities:

"This isn't over yet, bastards!"

"The things one has to go through to get some privacy!"

Or... "This casket has been wiretapped by the NSA."

"The worms kinda tickle."

"Darwin Award Winner."

"If you're a Voodoo Priestess, call me. We'll party."

1. I would like to be buried under Mount Everest with a little plaque, "Beat this headstone and I'll give you five spirit points"
2. "Last thing I heard 'CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!'"
3. "Where am I, What happened, and what in God's name is that smell?"
4. "Game Over Press START to continue..."
5. "Whoa. Cool. Can we do it again?"

I wanna be buried with one of those "Bags of Laughter" powered by a solar cell battery embedded in the tombstone with a small speaker.

imagine people at night, walking by, hearing a strange giggle waifting out of the cemetary

"Parachutes are for sissies."

"this is what we do to naughty children"

what I want on my Tombstone:

cheese, sausage and pepperoni

then I'll add a handful of Italian-blend cheese (think it's mozzarella, provolone, asiago, parmesan maybe... something like that) and common pizza seasonings like basil, garlic, parsley and oregano

I add the extra cheese/seasonings because Tombstone pizzas, like most frozen pizzas, don't include enough cheese or spices/herbs.

That was funny the first time. No longer.
j00 d13 n0w!11

More tombstone funnyness!

The programme you were running, 'Life', encountered a critical error and had to close. Any unsaved information was lost.
Send Error Report to god@heaven.holy

I want Bee Arthur nude mooning whomever looks at my tombstone.

"The bastard who killed me is behind you."

The purpose of life...is to end.

or

Wisely did Ibn Schacabao say, that happy is the tomb where no wizard hath lain, and happy the town at night whose wizards are all ashes. For it of old rumour that the soul of the devil-bought hastes not from his charnel clay, but fats and instructs the very worm that gnaws; til out corruption horrid life springs, and the dull scavengers of the Earth plague it. Great holes secretly are digged where Earth's pores ought to suffice, and things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl.

Reading some of them, it's probably a good idea that sombre family members get to choose what goes on the gravestone. ;)

I am not going to have a grave stone, since I won't technically have a grave. I have been thinking a lot today (ever since I saw this thred) about what I would like on mine if I had one.

I would probably put a favorite Bible verse that I thought might comfort people when they were visiting the graves around me. I seriously doubt that anyone would visit me if I had a grave anyway.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Unless you put it in your will.

Here's another one:

Don't worry; I saved at the last checkpoint.

Of course, the issue's really moot since I don't plan to die....

If I were to be buried, I suppose something like this.

"Here lies Daniel.
...
...
...
Bitch."

The joke being, one of my favorite OC's who is a super-neutral character has a special form of Terets from the method he used to increase his powers, and has to that at the end of every sentence.

Obesa Cantavit - (The fat lady has sung.)
And I want "Queen - Another one bites the dust" played at my funeral.

I'm not dead. I'm still alive.
I'm not dead. I'm still alive.
I'm not dead. I'm still alive.

I want "It's the End of the World" by REM played. Just a last bit of conceit.

The best funeral song ever has to yellow submarine.
We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine...........

Mine would read,
"Hey, quit stepping on me!"

Some years ago, I was thinking of a fist with an outstretched middle finger on my tombstone.

I'm older now.

I wouldn't have one. It's a waste of damn money. I just plan to donate my body to science. There's a great demand for the brains of nutjobs.:D

"Was born, died. Now move on, there's nothing special here"

I wouldn't have one. It's a waste of damn money. I just plan to donate my body to science. There's a great demand for the brains of nutjobs.:D
Alive! It's aliiive! Mwahahahah...

Or: Don't do what I do, do what I say.

Another one (slightly more serious): 'A man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a Heaven for?'
Optional extra line: 'Making sure the safety line is attached would have been sensible, however.'

Dammit I had the right of way...

This tombstone will self-destruct in 5 seconds

I'm going to be cremated, and my last wish be that my ashes be thrown into the face of someone I really don't like. Hell, I'm not using them!

Ooh, like in Desperate Housewives where Edie threw Mrs. Huber's ashes all over Susan!

Tobasco sauce.

I wanna be cremated, but if i get a tombstone instead i want

Naomi Prager
M Nome De Nimp
"Only the Impossible can do the Impossible"
You will release your life
Joining with the goddamned world
Of the dead and the lonely
You'll never leave alive
Now do you think you're too damn good
For the killing kind

sounds good to me

Well? Come up with something interesting or clever on my tombstone.

Pepperoni and sausage. Er, we ARE talking about Tombstone frozen pizzas, are we not?

Pepperoni and sausage. Er, we ARE talking about Tombstone frozen pizzas, are we not?
My counter for the number of people who have made that crack is spiralling like the altimeter on a Saturn V.

I definetly want the Ave Maria (in Latin) on my grave. I will need the Blessed Virgin's intercession most certainely when I die.

I definetly want the Ave Maria (in Latin) on my grave. I will need the Blessed Virgin's intercession most certainely when I die.

Why Latin?

"Dead at last, the world can rest safely again"
"You may be next"
"I may be dead, but you're still wrong, nyeh "

Why Latin?

Because I prefer it.

Cremated?! Think of the fumes!Yeah, smoking is bad for you!

Because I prefer it.

How do you know she does?

"Just remember all those that gave me a hard time, while you're reading this I'm telling God all the things you've done!"

How do you know she does?Why wouldn't she? It's not like the romans oppressed her people, sacked Jerusalem and ended the existence of the kingdom of Israel, not to mention crucify her son. I'm sure she'd love to be reminded of old times again.

Two more ideas:

"Because I chose to."

"What a strange dream it was that I have awoken from..."

Two words for me:

SPACE BURIAL. Cremate me and propel me into a RED GIANT. I shall be a part of the stellar cycle, and THERE WILL BE A PART OF ME IN EVERY STAR!!

"I'm not crazy,
I'm dead"

"If you can read this, please check to see if I turned off the stove."

"Okay guys, this isn't funny anymore. Let me out! Please. Come on. It's dark in here."

"Don't fuck with me!"

My debts are paid
My grave you see
Therefore prepare to follow me

If I don't get cremated...

"Who wants to trade places?"

Du stehst jetzt da
und ich bin hin.
bald bist Du da
wo ich jetzt bin!

Translation: You are standing there and I am gone. Soon you'll be where I am now!

Couple of options for this one:

1. 'Watch this space'

2. 'I see you!'

3. 'Flowers would have killed you, you cheap bastard?'

4. 'Non omnis moriar' - Not everything dies.

Or my favourite

5. 'Occupied'