NationStates Jolt Archive

Have you ever been insulted? Sure you have.
Have you ever been confused about what exactly you were insulted with?

Post here!


Go pound sand, then eat some cheese, noodle-neck!

Have you ever been insulted? Sure you have.
Have you ever been confused about what exactly you were insulted with?

Post here!

WHY MUST YOU KEEP SAYING THINGS THAT YOU KNOW WILL HURT ME!?!?!?

Have you ever been insulted? Sure you have.
Have you ever been confused about what exactly you were insulted with?

Post here!

Listen Quiz-Kid, stop being such a web-headed weasel and grow up!!!!!!

Yeah, multiple exlcamation marks will show 'em that you means business.

Listen lame-brain, you are the most intelligent imbecile I've ever met. Now I'm just pig-biting mad!!

"If there's one thing I like more then baloney and whipped cream, it's honey and ketchup, but we haven't got any"-Me

You're mother is so fat, it's impossible for you to have been conceaved.

Good ones. ._.

You're mother is so fat, it's impossible for you to have been conceaved.

That's no lady, that's my mother-in-law!!

It's my mother whose fat is conceivably other than pleasant. That lady with her is my mother-in-law's chiropractor. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Some things appear larger in mirror. Wash in cold water only. Guaranteed not to shrink.

Alls I know is: no one gets away with calling me a fizzle. No one.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of Elderberries!!!! (said in a OUTRAGEOUS french accent ;) )

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of Elderberries!!!! (said in a OUTRAGEOUS french accent ;) )

I hope that the Orwellian nightmare becomes reality just so that I will have the satisfaction of knowing you were tortured to death by the Plagiarism Police, you home-wrecker.

Alls I know is: no one gets away with calling me a fizzle. No one.

Geeze! What a fizzle you are! :D

It's not really "confusing," but I've always thought it was funny when someone would say "You're a wuss!" :D

Quixotic Protoziods... you make me want to decongestinate my mitagessen. :sniper:

I hope that the Orwellian nightmare becomes reality just so that I will have the satisfaction of knowing you were tortured to death by the Plagiarism Police, you home-wrecker.

lol, oh well, i was 'insulted' with it to be honest, and at the time i had not seen the film so, i think its ok for an example....maybe not

lol, oh well, i was 'insulted' with it to be honest, and at the time i had not seen the film so, i think its ok for an example....maybe not
I bet your brains taste like brocoli. Euch.

Any phrase with the word English in it!

I bet your brains taste like brocoli. Euch.

wouldn't know, don't plan to find out :p

wouldn't know, don't plan to find out :p

I do. ;)

I do. ;)


<quietly draws sword from sheath and backs away>

Years ago, back when I was in the middle of secondary school, I heard an insult which imprinted itself on my mind for all time. I remember it clearly. I was sitting by the window in the science lab. It was hot. I was bored. My teacher was talking about atomic structure or some gibberish like that. Two year 8 girls walked along the path by the window. They were having a conversation. One disagreed with the other. Did she call her friend stupid? No. Did she call her friend an idiot? No. Did she use profanities? It probably would have been better if she had. No, the clever retort she came up with was this:

Shut up, you stupid piece of polythene!

Exact words ^^^. Understandably, her friend didn't respond right away. If she responded at all I don't know, as they were out of ear shot after a while.

My own personal 'catch phrase', if you will, is designed to confuse people. Not permanently confuse people, but just for a split second. Long enough to change the topic if I'm losing an argument mind you. I've found that it doesn't work so well in text form, as its effectiveness depends greatly upon how you say it, and when. But it works:

Oh, go and eat your own face!

I have not failed to bring a look of utter confusion to a person's face by suddenly blurting that one out in the middle of an argument.

Blah blah blah blah. Look at me! I'm unique and "quirky"! Blah blah blah blah.

And now we begin the auction of your sense of decency, let us start the bidding at 3 groats.

And now we begin the auction of your sense of decency, let us start the bidding at 3 groats.

Oh, go and eat your own face.

And now we begin the auction of your sense of decency, let us start the bidding at 3 groats.
I bid 3 groats and a bundle of sheep

I bid 3 groats and a bundle of sheep

I have 3 groats and a bundle of sheep!

Will anyone give me 4?

your all morbid monkey phelchers :fluffle: :confused:

Oh, go and eat your own face.
Thou saucy whoreson nut-hook!

not exactly sure is this was an insult but somone said that my 'Perpetual ignorance was pushing the boundries of space and time'

not exactly sure is this was an insult but somone said that my 'Perpetual ignorance was pushing the boundries of space and time'

lol! i expect they were very pleased with themselves for that one. wonder how long it took them to think of it?

Once a very upset person told me she was "so f**cking angry I am falling apart into monocules". Which of course made me, slighltly resisting and totally involontarily, fall apart giggling, which in noway what-so-ever helped to calm her down.

Once a very uppset person told me she was "so f**cking angry I am falling apart into monocules". Which of course made me fall apart giggling, which in noway what-so-ever helped to calm her down.

She is a genius.

its not an insult . more of a threat. a mate of mine told this guy in a pub that if he didnt back teh f**k off hed cut off his face and feed it to him. he backed off and i laughed for hours....

more cause my friend is a skinny bugger and teh other guy was huge than teh houmer of the threat.... :headbang:

This doesn't qualify at all but it may be funny:

There was this totally stuck-up bitch in high school who used to insult me openly all the time. Finally I had had enough, so one day in class when she opened up her mouth to say something hurtful to me I turned to her and said "Mary Kate, let's not pretend any more! I want us to tell the world of our love! Let's stop trying to hide our feelings!"

Well she wasn't too bright so it took doing that twice before she learned to keep her nasty mouth shut, and after that she actually managed to show me some respect every now and then. ;)

Go eat crow you king of the amalgamated morons!!!

MoeHoward's first few random insults were original and amusing but now he tries too hard. He's only in it for the recognition, the sell-out.

Here's an attempt at insulting me that sorta backfired:

Random stuck up, snotty b*tch in my class:
"Shut up! You're fat! You probably spend all day eating food!"

"You're right! I could sure use a donut. Mmmmmm. I looove doughnuts."

for some reason, this made her shut up, and all my friends burst out laughing. You've gotta imagine this conversation between a stuck-up girl and a rail-thin guy. It makes it inexplicably funny.

~Jake

"You know ... after listening to you babble on, I can understand why some animals eat their young!"

attention scum

you are scum
your mother is a scotsman
your father is a goldfish
your sister is your brother
and your feet smell like cheese

thats all i have to say about that

MoeHoward's first few random insults were original and amusing but now he tries too hard. He's only in it for the recognition, the sell-out.

You know it's really hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.

Diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of ideas.

You know it's really hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.

I've heard better from crushed snails. CRUSHED SNAILS!

"Oh yeah? I just F#$%@d yo mom!"

Really, honestly, what the HELL is this supposed to do to a man?

fallen

"Oh yeah? I just F#$%@d yo mom!"

Really, honestly, what the HELL is this supposed to do to a man?

fallen

Yo momma is like a playstation, little kids turn her on!!!!

I've heard better from crushed snails. CRUSHED SNAILS!

Oh, a mutiny eh??? I'll put your head in a press and squeeze the cider out of your adams apple.

I convinced my communist friend to yell in the school
"Fuck you all, all of you"
Then he said
"Not you girls, all else fuck you"
Some random fat bitch said to me to learn how to laugh.
Cause I alone had a clue what was going on and only me laughed.
I said back "Shut up You grose of a woman"
She ran out to the toilet and cried there for 2 hours :D

(screamed from a moving car)
"HEY! I'LL LICK YOUR ASSHOLE FOR A DOLLAR"
(same car, 15 seconds later)
"FUCKING BITCH"

screamed from (i think) a different car
"GRUAAAH! I'M SO FUCKING PISSED! YEAH, YOU!"

"Oh yeah? I just F#$%@d yo mom!"

no fuckin' way. my mom just fucked YOU.

bracesless, two eyed freak, I hope you take your average characteristics and stuff them down [the local factory's] smokestack.

'I hope you die from being skinned alive, dropped into a vat of vinegar, and have 5 year olds piss into your eyelids, whilst reciting Edgar Allen Poe.'

Really. What kind of a comeback can one construct after that?

You smell like elderberrys

Thou, kind sir, art an egg.

I find that only the dumbest of people need only the dumbest of retorts... such as today in art class an older student who i will not name but was drunk at the time, was trying to draw a portrait of his friend... he sucked at the drawing and while he was insulting me someone asked me " why the hell would you take that from him?" and i said, just to confuse the student who was doing the insulting," well you know i feel sorry for him i mean look at his drawing!" he gave a rather connuffled look and shut his trap

and now in retrospect it wasnt so funny DAMN!

Those are not my pants

Obviously, your brains ran down your mother's thigh.

Didn't your mother teach you any manners while she was in bed with you?

One time i have been called a "rabid nazi jew pig" online, that is so controdictary i dont even know where to start.

You're as left as a polar bear

:confused:

You're as left as a polar bear

:confused:
Polar bears are naturally lefty, which makes sense of a sort. At the north pole all points are south so what could be more natural than to be a south paw?

Why not just go with a classic, eh?

"I don't know half of you half as much as I should like, and I like half of you only half as much as you deserve." --Bilbo Baggins, speaking at his 111th birthday party in The Shire, The Fellowship of the Ring, by J. R. R. Tolkien

Now, let's be honest, the first time any of you ever heard or read that, you had no freaking clue whether that was an insult or a compliment, did you? :p

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

Those are horrific and in my case, strangely innaccurate accusations!

Okay. You're forgiven. :)

I do indeed impugn your impugnity.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

The playground classic:

"Oh, your mum!"

If I had to make a selection between you and your evil twin, I would do the same thing I'm doing in this upcoming presidential election.

Not intended for the other use