NationStates Jolt Archive


News Story

Tactical Grace
06-10-2004, 14:29
NEWARK, N.J. - Police reveal unarmed man shot dead Sunday "probably intended to buy a gun".

Thomas Stafford, 49, of New Brunswick, NJ was shot dead by police in a 7-Eleven parking lot late Sunday night, after he repeatedly refused demands to put down his gun. The gun later turned out to be a rolled-up newspaper concealling a 16oz bottle of whiskey.

Speaking to reporters yesterday, Deputy Chief Max Zyzowski justified the use of lethal force, saying that although Stafford was not in possession of a gun at the time, he may have intended to acquire one. "This man had a record with the authorities as long as your arm," said Zyzowski, "he's done time for armed robbery, arson, only reason he wasn't serving life for murder was a technicality", this a reference to a collapsed trial in 1991. "Now we know there were advertisements for gun stores in that newspaper. Makes sense he might have been on his way to buy one. And then what? Look at his record. This city is better off without people like that walking the streets."

These claims were instantly disputed by Stafford's family. In a statement issued through an attorney, they defended his reputation, saying that the most recent conviction was several years old and that they had lost a loving son, and their community an honest citizen. The possibility of a lawsuit was raised.

Civil liberties groups also rushed to condemn "the instinctively defensive and unaccountable nature" of the police, pointing to the incident as just the latest in a long line of police shootings of unarmed black men in the state.

Deputy Chief Zyzowski was quick to dismiss accusations of racism. "It's just more liberal propaganda" was his blunt reaction. However, an officer who did not wish to be named was more forthcoming. "What business did that guy have wanting to have a gun? I know them niggers' ways. Probably on his way to shoot someone."
Georgeton
06-10-2004, 14:58
Yes ofcourse the policeman isn't racist.......git
Eutrusca
06-10-2004, 15:01
NEWARK, N.J. - Police reveal unarmed man shot dead Sunday "probably intended to buy a gun".

Thomas Stafford, 49, of New Brunswick, NJ was shot dead by police in a 7-Eleven parking lot late Sunday night, after he repeatedly refused demands to put down his gun. The gun later turned out to be a rolled-up newspaper concealling a 16oz bottle of whiskey.

Speaking to reporters yesterday, Deputy Chief Max Zyzowski justified the use of lethal force, saying that although Stafford was not in possession of a gun at the time, he may have intended to acquire one. "This man had a record with the authorities as long as your arm," said Zyzowski, "he's done time for armed robbery, arson, only reason he wasn't serving life for murder was a technicality", this a reference to a collapsed trial in 1991. "Now we know there were advertisements for gun stores in that newspaper. Makes sense he might have been on his way to buy one. And then what? Look at his record. This city is better off without people like that walking the streets."

These claims were instantly disputed by Stafford's family. In a statement issued through an attorney, they defended his reputation, saying that the most recent conviction was several years old and that they had lost a loving son, and their community an honest citizen. The possibility of a lawsuit was raised.

Civil liberties groups also rushed to condemn "the instinctively defensive and unaccountable nature" of the police, pointing to the incident as just the latest in a long line of police shootings of unarmed black men in the state.

Deputy Chief Zyzowski was quick to dismiss accusations of racism. "It's just more liberal propaganda" was his blunt reaction. However, an officer who did not wish to be named was more forthcoming. "What business did that guy have wanting to have a gun? I know them niggers' ways. Probably on his way to shoot someone."

Do you have a link for this article, please?
Lex Terrae
06-10-2004, 15:36
Everyone, please back away from the troll.
Jeldred
06-10-2004, 15:50
NEWARK, N.J. - Police reveal unarmed man shot dead Sunday "probably intended to buy a gun".

Well, hell, now we're being told that America invaded Iraq because Saddam "probably intended to acquire WMDs". Maybe Thomas Stafford was standing on top of some oil.
Niccolo Medici
06-10-2004, 15:54
Nifty Satire there. Doesn't seem to be appreciated here though.
Demented Hamsters
06-10-2004, 15:56
Further proof that Americans don't understand satire and facetiousness.
For what's it worth, from me it gets four:
:p :p :p :p
out of five. Well Done
Erastide
06-10-2004, 16:00
I was actually okay until the last bit with the "liberal propaganda" and the "niggers ways" bits.

And of course that fact that it's a moderator posting this also helps :p
Niccolo Medici
06-10-2004, 16:55
Further proof that Americans don't understand satire and facetiousness.
For what's it worth, from me it gets four:
:p :p :p :p
out of five. Well Done

I guess I should stand up for my fellow residents of the US...

"Americans" refers to anyone on either of the American continents, and I'm pretty sure that people in Brazil or Mexico would get this joke. My fellow citizens seem to be a bit slower on the uptake today.

;)

Seriously, I love the post asking for the link. I think "The Onion" already did a story like this one, so go check out the onion.
Chess Squares
06-10-2004, 17:02
we should give everyone guns! then the cops can kill everyone who is trying to buy stuff at convenience stores!
Free Soviets
06-10-2004, 17:13
Further proof that Americans don't understand satire and facetiousness.

or further sad proof that police incidents and 'reasoning' like this actually do happen in the us all too often.
Korden
06-10-2004, 17:45
or further sad proof that police incidents and 'reasoning' like this actually do happen in the us all too often.

Exactly. The problem is that it's perfectly believable.