NationStates Jolt Archive


A wicked funny email that was sent to me!

Proletarian Continents
02-10-2004, 02:55
Quote:

Things you have to believe to be a Republican...

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is
enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.

A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a mora! l failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then i t's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 80s is
irrelevant.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be
stuck with Bush for 4 more years.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
Letila
02-10-2004, 03:22
Not bad. A great post.
Kleptonis
02-10-2004, 03:30
Funnt, but probably as truthful as the liberal bashing version.
Muktar
02-10-2004, 03:37
I saw this in another forum. Immediately people starting talking about how funny the part about condoms was.
UltimateEnd
02-10-2004, 04:06
I don't know a Republican who would believe this crap
Goed
02-10-2004, 08:11
Mwahaha, now it's become an email I'M sending around >: )
Monkeypimp
02-10-2004, 11:45
Not bad. A great post.

Surely you saw it the last 5 times it was posted?
Naovatrillen
02-10-2004, 11:55
whatever...its not HAHAHAHAH ROFL funny though....
Resquide
02-10-2004, 11:58
Yes, I think there was a pretty much identical *fill-in-name-and-indiscretion-here* one about the democrats, or whoever.

American politics is amusing at best. I don't want to know about at worst.
New Fubaria
02-10-2004, 12:12
LOL - very cool email. ;)
Jeruselem
02-10-2004, 13:05
Interesting to note John Ashcroft was Christian evangelist before joining the Bush government.
Tumaniia
02-10-2004, 13:09
Interesting to note John Ashcroft was Christian evangelist before joining the Bush government.

What was the name of that gospell song? Let the eagle soar? Something like that...
Jeruselem
02-10-2004, 13:25
What was the name of that gospell song? Let the eagle soar? Something like that...

"Let the eagle soar,

Like she’s never soared before.

From rocky coast to golden shore,

Let the mighty eagle soar.

Soar with healing in her wings,

As the land beneath her sings:

'Only god, no other kings.'

This country’s far too young to die.

We’ve still got a lot of climbing to do,

And we can make it if we try.

Built by toils and struggles

God has led us through."

Source
http://www.newwartimes.com/eagle.html
Tumaniia
02-10-2004, 13:33
"Let the eagle soar,

Like she’s never soared before.

From rocky coast to golden shore,

Let the mighty eagle soar.

Soar with healing in her wings,

As the land beneath her sings:

'Only god, no other kings.'

This country’s far too young to die.

We’ve still got a lot of climbing to do,

And we can make it if we try.

Built by toils and struggles

God has led us through."

Source
http://www.newwartimes.com/eagle.html


:D :D :D
I've heard a recording of it...can't remember where.
Tropical Montana
02-10-2004, 15:16
David Letterman had footage of Ashcroft singing.

It was hysterical. And a little sad.
Kryozerkia
02-10-2004, 15:23
Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
I love this last line!