NationStates Jolt Archive

i have a girlfriend i love dearly. however, her best friend wants to hook up with me - and, admittedly, we already have hooked up once before to which i confessed to my girlfriend.

everything blew over, we're better than ever, but her best friend confessed last night that she still wants to be with me sexually.

now, i'm a bit sexually frustrated right now to begin with, and i'm feeling like i'm too young to settle down... and we're planning to get together again... what do you all think?

The fact you want to cheat on her again suggests you should break up with your GF.

If she is looking to settle down, do her a favor and let her find somebody else.

That is if settling down scares you? ;)

i have a girlfriend i love dearly. however, her best friend wants to hook up with me - and, admittedly, we already have hooked up once before to which i confessed to my girlfriend.

everything blew over, we're better than ever, but her best friend confessed last night that she still wants to be with me sexually.

now, i'm a bit sexually frustrated right now to begin with, and i'm feeling like i'm too young to settle down... and we're planning to get together again... what do you all think?

I think you were correct in saying that you have a moral dilemma.

You had to ask, you might as well. Then be a smart kid, and let your girlfriend go.

as long as you tell your girlfriend the complete truth right away, i don't think it matters what you do. if your girlfriend knows the full situation then she can decide if she still wants to be with somebody who is planning to cheat on her, and whether she wants a best friend who is trying to sleep with her lover.

if you do ANYTHING without telling your girlfriend the truth then you are cheating on her. if you can be happy about yourself as a cheater then that's your business, just don't try to convince yourself that you are anything other than an unfaithful lover.

Have you ever thought about a threesome?

i agree

tell your that you want to sow your wild oats but dont stop there... try a little homosexual action.

More than dilemma, I would say moral breakdown.
Let go your girlfriend and go with the other one, or not ... period.

Take a lifeline -- call Bill Clinton?

Obviously your still with your girlfriend for a reason... i'm sure if you wait long enough... something may happen ;) :cool: ;)

"cheating" on your girlfriend is in fact declaring that you are not interested in an exclusive relationship with her

be a man and tell her that. then SHE can decide if she wants to share. and then YOU can decide if you want a girlfriend who is willing to share.

screwing around behind your gilfriends back just makes you scum.

Yes. Cheat on her. If her friend is hotter.

If you really did care about your girlfriend, then you would have no dilemna.

"cheating" on your girlfriend is in fact declaring that you are not interested in an exclusive relationship with her

be a man and tell her that. then SHE can decide if she wants to share. and then YOU can decide if you want a girlfriend who is willing to share.

screwing around behind your gilfriends back just makes you scum.
If you have to ask then its probably bad morally.
ONly will that which you can will for everyone.
If you think everyone should cheat then go ahead but its not possibly.
If everyone cheated then you wouldn't have marriage or a girlfreind. They would all be one-night stands.
Also no one would trust anyone because everyone cheated.

Thus you shouldn't do it.

So remember, do unto others how you want them to do unto you.

If you really did care about your girlfriend, then you would have no dilemna.

I have to agree. If you cared, there would be no questioning whether you should cheat or not. And really, when you care about someone that deeply and truly, sex is not even that big of a thing. Trust me on that one.

When you really love someone and care about them, you find yourself satisfied with just being with that person. Sure, having sex is a great benefit to show your love, but really, sex is not an important issue between you both.

You need to learn how to stand by the one you care about. So what if people "cuter" or "hotter" want to bang you! It's just sex. And if that is your attitude in a relationship then kiss your girl goodbye, because sex isn't everything out there.

Lastly, and on with friend.........sick. You definately DO NOT go with your girlfriend's friend unless there is REAL love between you both, and not lust.

If you truly want to cheat, you should not be in any sort of monogamous relationship.

Figure out where your priorities are. Either you want to have a girlfriend and be in a committed and monogamous relationship with her, you want to spend time with the girlfriend but want things to be more open, or you don't want to date her at all and just want other people.

Any of the above is fine - as long as all involved parties understand it to be such. It is wrong to sleep with your girlfriend's best friend if your girlfriend thinks you are being faithful - there is no way around that. However, if you tell your girlfriend that you want an open relationship and she is fine with it, bang away. If you tell your girlfriend that you want an open relationship and she is not ok with it, you should break off that relationship. If you don't even want to date your girlfriend - do the right thing and break up with her.

no thats not true... if you want to cheat you need to be in a monogomous relationship :p

Also take into consideration other unintended consequences that may follow, such as pregnancy, STD's and furious uncles with baseball bats.

Step up, and be a Man.

And by that, I mean do the Right Thing and tell the truth. If you're gonna cheat, warn your girlfriend in advance, and let her decide if she wants to stick with your stray dog self in an open relationship. The whole "I don't know whether I want to settle down" thing is the surest sign of both dishonesty with self and others, and flat-out immaturity. You know exactly whether or not you are ready to settle down, and not admitting it either way is just lying to yourself and your girlfriend.

You don't have a moral dilemma, you have a "need to grow up" dilemma. Once you've grown up and learned what morals are, then you can worry about moral issues.

Like I said, be a Man, not just a life-support system for your crotch.

(And if you think I'm being harsh, tough. You're talking about screwing around on your girlfriend with her best friend. For the second time. Damn.)

now, i'm a bit sexually frustrated right now to begin with, and i'm feeling like i'm too young to settle down... and we're planning to get together again... what do you all think?
Well, you may still love her, but do you love her in the same way as before? By sexually frustrated most guys mean that sex is not as often as it was once, so maybe she is having doubts and second thoughts too.

My advice. It's time to rethink the relationship. Don't ask yourself if you are ready for a long-term relationship, no one really knows that one. Instead ask if you can see yourself waking up and living with this woman day after day for years and years.

If your first reaction is "Man, what a drag!" there's your answer.

i have a girlfriend i love dearly. however, her best friend wants to hook up with me - and, admittedly, we already have hooked up once before to which i confessed to my girlfriend.

everything blew over, we're better than ever, but her best friend confessed last night that she still wants to be with me sexually.

now, i'm a bit sexually frustrated right now to begin with, and i'm feeling like i'm too young to settle down... and we're planning to get together again... what do you all think?

Drop the current one, pick up the new one, and do try to mature a bit! :D

i have a girlfriend i love dearly. however, her best friend wants to hook up with me - and, admittedly, we already have hooked up once before to which i confessed to my girlfriend.

everything blew over, we're better than ever, but her best friend confessed last night that she still wants to be with me sexually.

now, i'm a bit sexually frustrated right now to begin with, and i'm feeling like i'm too young to settle down... and we're planning to get together again... what do you all think?

You slept with her best friend, she found out about it, and she still trusts you? Man, she needs this knock to stop her from trusting guys like you... you're doing her a favour, trust me...

If you think you're too young to settle down, you're probably right. Cheat, get away with it if you can (you obviously want to - I can't say what we think will make much difference), but be prepared for major plate-throwing action if she ever finds out you've duped her again. That won't be pretty. Maybe you can get away with it. It happens. But then... what about the next time? And the one after?

I find these dilemmas have a way of resolving themselves. It'll soon become clear to you what you want. Just hope it isn't that you still want GF1 after you've burnt all your bridges with her. That would be a bummer.

Ah, have fun. I'm just envious is all.

i have a girlfriend i love dearly. however, her best friend wants to hook up with me - and, admittedly, we already have hooked up once before to which i confessed to my girlfriend.

everything blew over, we're better than ever, but her best friend confessed last night that she still wants to be with me sexually.

now, i'm a bit sexually frustrated right now to begin with, and i'm feeling like i'm too young to settle down... and we're planning to get together again... what do you all think?

Cheat and lie untill you're found out...

how can this other girl really be her "best friend" anyhow. if you do cheat again (and your gf finds out) she will have just been betrayed by the two closest people in her life. are you sure you want to do that to her? wouldn't it be better to start a non-exclusive relationship with someone new?

what you really need to consider is the other people involved in the equation, not how horny you are.

how can this other girl really be her "best friend" anyhow. if you do cheat again (and your gf finds out) she will have just been betrayed by the two closest people in her life. are you sure you want to do that to her? wouldn't it be better to start a non-exclusive relationship with someone new?

what you really need to consider is the other people involved in the equation, not how horny you are.

Easy for you to say... horniness is a difficult thing to get over.

If you are not ready to settle down then don't. Just don't make a commitment to someone that you do not keep. It will hurt you, your girlfriend and the other.

Edit: You need a "none of the above" options to your poll

You don't need our permission to be a scumbag.

Just decide whether you want to be a scumbag, or not.

The more you act like a scumbag, the harder it will for anyone to see you as anything but a scumbag. So maybe years from now, when you meet the girl of your dreams, she won't give you the time of day because everyone KNOWS you're a scumbag.

Your choice, not my problem.
(though i do hope your girlfriend gets out of this cruel situation soon, you don't care about her.)

You don't need our permission to be a scumbag.

Just decide whether you want to be a scumbag, or not.

The more you act like a scumbag, the harder it will for anyone to see you as anything but a scumbag. So maybe years from now, when you meet the girl of your dreams, she won't give you the time of day because everyone KNOWS you're a scumbag.

Your choice, not my problem.
(though i do hope your girlfriend gets out of this cruel situation soon, you don't care about her.)

Nationstates made me do it

:D

I hope you're not considering actually dating this best friend girl. Do you really want to be with a girl like that, a girl who would screw with her best friend's boyfriend? Could you trust her ever again, knowing how duplicitous she is?