NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm heading south here in a few, any tips for a "yankee" in "rebel" territory?

lemme dig a bit. theres a thread somewhere back in history on how to avoid a southern beat down.
*starts digging*

And do remember she is under one rebels protection. Flame away.

JIM

found it!!

1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a
diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they
know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray,
Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or we will
just HAVE to kick your ass.

3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's
called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper,
7-Up or whatever-it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an
ass kicking.

4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty,
Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer.
Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner
Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have
small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Clinton). We
don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone
move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone tried to do
that, we would kick their ass.

6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet
and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle,
you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone
Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just
spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know
that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended-with gravy. And
don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get
your ass kicked.

10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know
better. Many of us have visited Northern shitholes like Detroit, Chicago, and
DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is
ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we
don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we
are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's
all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or
rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll
kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.

13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors
open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are
expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little
gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like
they did ours.

14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the
countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy,
smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. Make fun of our
fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to
cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're
lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, and you will
go home in a pine box.. . . Minus your ass!

Just relax and enjoy the food and the friendly people. :)

oh, and dont worry about it too much. we treat our ladies nice down here.

ok so far I have, don't bother asking for a soda since everything is coke, apparently someone thinks its a generalized response to kick some ass, and waffle house only serves waffles, I think I can handle it. lol besides in all seriousness I will have the greatest man there to uptect me. :)

oh, and dont worry about it too much. we treat our ladies nice down here.

I think she may have gathered that from Jim's treatment of her. :)

I think she may have gathered that from Jim's treatment of her. :)

good point. just stating it matter of factly.

Never end your sentence in "Kerry could have done it better."

I think she may have gathered that from Jim's treatment of her. :)
OOOOOH YEAH! he treats his lady GRRRRRREAT :blush: :) :) :)

I have a few students who were studing English here because they were being transferred to the Southern US. I always reccommend this book:

Culture Shock!: Usa-The South (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1558682465/102-0707858-5676143?v=glance).

thanks y'all I'll keep that in mind (lol only a northerner would punctuate that slang term huh?)

thanks y'all I'll keep that in mind (lol only a northerner would punctuate that slang term huh?)

Ya'll, not y'all. ;)
And remember that is the singular. All ya'll is the plural.

Rule 26B: Bring back souvenirs for the yankee relatives back home! :D

Rule 26B: Bring back souvenirs for the yankee relatives back home! :D

Who, me?

*grin*

Who, me?

*grin*

Sure 'nuff! *Huggles*

Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

:D

Just shoot the first three things you see and you'll be accepted

Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

:D

arguably my favorite pick up line to use down here.

arguably my favorite pick up line to use down here.
did it work?

did it work?

once or twice.

once or twice.
Gotta start wearing my boots again :D

Just kiss me when you get here Roan! :fluffle:

BTW bump.

Gotta start wearing my boots again :D

I wonder how Legless Pirates get their boots on in the first place.... ;)
(In either sense of the word - I always have trouble with mine after getting legless.)

ok funny aside
for the first ....37 years of my life i had always lived in a state that bordered canada. i am a maine born yankee

now i live in new mexico.

not quite the same as the south east but WAY different than the north.

once you understand that y'all IS correct english, youll feel much better about it. (we dont use y'all in new mexico, its too texan, but i use it here because it makes a good plural)

SLOW DOWN. everything is slower in the south, it will drive you NUTZ for a while. the first 6 months i lived here i had to fight the urge to grab store clerks and give them a good shake while yelling "JUST SHUT UP AND MOVE YOUR HANDS OVER THE SCANNER"

it will only get you thrown in jail.

everyone is friendlier. you will be called honey, sweetie and dear by complete strangers.

unless you live in atlanta or houston, dont drive like a european racecar driver. it just doesnt work. give everyone as much room as you can, you cant predict what they are going to do next.

if you live in the country, dont expect a quick drive to work. youll spend time every day stuck behind some piece of farm machinery or other.

i sure hope you like country music.

Just kiss me when you get here Roan! :fluffle:

BTW bump.

As if you had to ask! :smooooch!: :fluffle:

yeah I've noticed that about the slow thing already.... and when I call my sweetie at work the older women do call me honey.....weird

I'm heading south here in a few, any tips for a "yankee" in "rebel" territory?

First and most important piece of advice.

DO NOT talk down to Southerners in ANY way. Do not mock their accents or act as if you think they are stupid or backwards. Even if you think that at first (and you will learn differently over time) the LAST thing you want to do is let on. That kind of treatment--understandably--only breeds resentment. Get to know people as individuals.

Second, as others have said, behave courteously. You may have to be more open than you ordinarily would at home, and at first you may find it uncomfortable, but this will score you points. Eventually, I think the kindness people give you in return for this will help you feel more comfortable. :-)

now i live in new mexico.

not quite the same as the south east but WAY different than the north.

Hehe... Tell me about it! I moved to MN after 9 years in NM, and I still haven't adjusted.
"What the hell is pop? IT'S CALLED COKE YOU FREAKING RETARDS!!!"

Hehe... Tell me about it! I moved to MN after 9 years in NM, and I still haven't adjusted.
"What the hell is pop? IT'S CALLED COKE YOU FREAKING RETARDS!!!"

one of the 15 ways avoid southern ass whooping. there is no pop. thank you for reafirming that.

Hehe... Tell me about it! I moved to MN after 9 years in NM, and I still haven't adjusted.
"What the hell is pop? IT'S CALLED COKE YOU FREAKING RETARDS!!!"
and what is the POINT of having a place that gets that much snow but has no hill high enough to SKI ON??

Hehe... Tell me about it! I moved to MN after 9 years in NM, and I still haven't adjusted.
"What the hell is pop? IT'S CALLED COKE YOU FREAKING RETARDS!!!"

Its called soda, moron! Soda. Can You say so-da? Coke is a brand name.

As if you had to ask! :smooooch!: :fluffle:

Two days and counting Love!


:fluffle:

An interesting map: (http://www.popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.html)

Pop in the north and west and coke in the south east and half the south west (NM, OK, TX).
Soda is an interesting one - New England, MO, IN, CA, NV, and AZ.

An interesting map:

http://www.popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.html

Pop in the north and west and coke in the south east and half the south west (NM, OK, TX).
Soda is an interesting one - New England, MO, IN, CA, NV, and AZ.

That's a very interesting map indeed. I'm guessing from the red X that it shows where the treasure is hidden. ;)

That's a very interesting map indeed. I'm guessing from the red X that it shows where the treasure is hidden. ;)

You didn't like it? A leprechaun riding an invisible pink unicorn gave it to me...

You didn't like it? A leprechaun riding an invisible pink unicorn gave it to me...

Actually I did like it. I copied the URL out of your post when I quoted it. Then I opened a new window and pasted the URL into the address bar and voila! I could see it!