Raem
22-09-2004, 04:35
It's not really an election in the United States. This November, an underwhelming minority of people will shrug off four years of apathy, trudge down to what passes for local polling stations, and stare blankly at the names of the candidates until, by Providence or some freak accident, a vote is cast. Nobody wants Bush in office, and nobody can realistically see Kerry taking the post. The third party candidates aren't likely to get any more votes than can be attributed to error percentage. Totaled. All of them together.
So who do you vote for - assuming you haven't bailed out like a rat fleeing a sinking ship?
Cthulhu, of course! Who better to run the nation, and indeed the world? Worried about terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, the economy, Social Security? Worry no more!
With Cthulhu in office, all the petty mortal concerns of our misbegotten race will disappear. Those heathen terrorists will be far too busy being tortured for the remainder of their breathing lives to even think about blowing anything up! Job loss will disappear overnight, as vast swaths of the population are consumed! We won't even go into Social Secutiy. No one will live that long.
So if you're fighting to make a choice when all you have is a lack of options, remember: you can write a name in. Cthulhu / Hastur, 2004!
(Hastur, Hastur, Hastu-auugghhh!)
So who do you vote for - assuming you haven't bailed out like a rat fleeing a sinking ship?
Cthulhu, of course! Who better to run the nation, and indeed the world? Worried about terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, the economy, Social Security? Worry no more!
With Cthulhu in office, all the petty mortal concerns of our misbegotten race will disappear. Those heathen terrorists will be far too busy being tortured for the remainder of their breathing lives to even think about blowing anything up! Job loss will disappear overnight, as vast swaths of the population are consumed! We won't even go into Social Secutiy. No one will live that long.
So if you're fighting to make a choice when all you have is a lack of options, remember: you can write a name in. Cthulhu / Hastur, 2004!
(Hastur, Hastur, Hastu-auugghhh!)