Hajekistan
20-09-2004, 22:44
The 1337 FAQ is listed below, but first I must needs air out my soul.
I, Hajekistan, have a need to confess.
After not having slept for about 48 hours and a couple of tiny (OK, swigs) sips from a bottle of vodka, I started getting really wild, and I made a political post on NS. Not only that, but I made many, a veritable orgy of political opinion on a liver load of booze and caffeine pills. I am terribly sorry, I get conservative when I'm drunk, I can't help it.
In pennance I am submitting this FAQ, becuase everyone loves FAQs, on the language known as 1337 (or leet). Before I start, it should be noted that I, in fact, know absolutely nothing about 1337. However, in the manner of a bunch of men standing in a darkened room, I shall fumble in the darkness striving to find the light switch of understanding, and hope that I will provide sufficient light when I accidentally electrocute myself for another to find the switch, or at least a beer.
So without further ado, I present my humble little brain child:
Q: What is 1337?
A: It is the number you get when you add 1000 and 337.
Q: No, the language moron! What is "leet"?
A: Oh, that. It is an internet language created by "uber" nerds who feel that mere English alone can't describe just how much the "R0XX0RS j00"
Q: What does "R0XX0RS j00" mean?
A: It is a reference to the Rock of Ages in the Torah. A little-known guidebook for taking over the world that was apparently written by one, Zypheras Oblan Garrison (ZOG for short).
Q: Is it really true that Jews can burst out of your chest?
A: Only if your tin-foil hat is tuned improperly. Isn't this supposed to be a FAQ about 1337?
Q: I suppose so- Wait! Aren't I supposed to be asking the questions?
A: Are you sure?
Q: I am quite sure. Why are letters ssometimes replaced with numbers in 1337?
A: It is a secret code used to keep people confused. However, it seems to be overly affective, as most 1337-speakers are also confused by it.
Q: What are some examples of numbers replacing letters?
A: Well, "3" can replace "e", "0" replaces "o", "7" replaces "t", and the number "8" can be used in place of "Help, I'm being savaged by a rogue hamster!"
Q: Is "8" used often in conversation?
A: Not to often, but it is helpful to have a plan prepared in the eventuality. You don't want to waste time in an event like that.
Q: What is a "B0XX0R"?
A: To understand this, you must first know the history of the internet:
Shortly after 1971 (When Ronald Reagan first created the Earth) a bunch of bald men got together while wearing lab coats. As any student of the natural sciences knows: X (defined as men with weird hair) + Y(defined as labcoats or, in an emergency, radioactive spiders)= Z(Nifty science type discovery, or gay orgy, depending upon the fetishes of those involved). Now these men all had bald and/or lab coat fetishes, but no KY Jelly. Unable to get it, and too embarrased to go to the local pharmacy, they created the internet and E-Commerce (defined as commerce, but with an E in fornt of it, making it infinitely more kewl) in order to buy their KY Jelly anonymously. It then took them three years to get it, as they had to wait for other bald men to spawn FedEx, but by then sheep had been invented, and most of the scientists were involved in other relationships.
Q: Thanks for the mental images, ass-
A: Always happy to help a friend lose sleep at night.
Q: But you still haven't told me the origin of "B0XX0R".
A: I'm getting to it. As I said the internet was invented in the early 70s, however it was then promptly lost. It took several more years, before an enterprising young amoeba decided to look under the couch cushions. That amoeba (named Al Gore) rediscovered the internet and introduced it to the world. Further, due to the high concentration of Internet-rays that the amoeba was exposed to, he grew up and became the first of a species now known as the politician.
Q; Do you ever plan on answering the damn question?
A: Yes.
Q: Don't you have anything more to say? What is a "B0XX0R"!?!?
A: You only had to ask. It is a common misconception that the internet is entirely filled with nerds who have never seen the sunlight and are obsessed with the size of their ePenis, this is wrong. Chat rooms and other internet places are filled with only four kinds of people:
Fat middle aged perverts sitting around in their boxers who are pretending to be sexy teenaged girls.
Fat middle aged perverts sitting around in their boxers who are pretending to be hot studs.
Fat middle aged perverts sitting around in their boxers who are pretending to be young nerdy guys who don't get enough sun who are pretending to be hot studs.
Finally, Fat middle aged perverts sitting around in their boxers who are pretending to be young nerdy guys who don't get enough sun who are pretending to be sexy teenage girls.
"B0XX0R" is a reference to their boxers, the only item of clothing that they wear (unless you count copious amounts of chest and/or underarm hair as a jacket).
Q: Where are the nerds who are suppossed to populate the internet?
A: Oh, there out there. However, they never go on chatrooms as they are to busy trying to hack into Hentai Tentacle Porn websites.
Q: Wasn't all that just a really long way of answering a simple question for the sole purpose of making a few obvious cheap gags?
A: Your welcome.
Well, thats all for now, goodbye.
Hey whats that on the floor over there.
OH CRAP!!!!
8888888888888
NO! NOT THERE!
AAAIEEE!
8888
I, Hajekistan, have a need to confess.
After not having slept for about 48 hours and a couple of tiny (OK, swigs) sips from a bottle of vodka, I started getting really wild, and I made a political post on NS. Not only that, but I made many, a veritable orgy of political opinion on a liver load of booze and caffeine pills. I am terribly sorry, I get conservative when I'm drunk, I can't help it.
In pennance I am submitting this FAQ, becuase everyone loves FAQs, on the language known as 1337 (or leet). Before I start, it should be noted that I, in fact, know absolutely nothing about 1337. However, in the manner of a bunch of men standing in a darkened room, I shall fumble in the darkness striving to find the light switch of understanding, and hope that I will provide sufficient light when I accidentally electrocute myself for another to find the switch, or at least a beer.
So without further ado, I present my humble little brain child:
Q: What is 1337?
A: It is the number you get when you add 1000 and 337.
Q: No, the language moron! What is "leet"?
A: Oh, that. It is an internet language created by "uber" nerds who feel that mere English alone can't describe just how much the "R0XX0RS j00"
Q: What does "R0XX0RS j00" mean?
A: It is a reference to the Rock of Ages in the Torah. A little-known guidebook for taking over the world that was apparently written by one, Zypheras Oblan Garrison (ZOG for short).
Q: Is it really true that Jews can burst out of your chest?
A: Only if your tin-foil hat is tuned improperly. Isn't this supposed to be a FAQ about 1337?
Q: I suppose so- Wait! Aren't I supposed to be asking the questions?
A: Are you sure?
Q: I am quite sure. Why are letters ssometimes replaced with numbers in 1337?
A: It is a secret code used to keep people confused. However, it seems to be overly affective, as most 1337-speakers are also confused by it.
Q: What are some examples of numbers replacing letters?
A: Well, "3" can replace "e", "0" replaces "o", "7" replaces "t", and the number "8" can be used in place of "Help, I'm being savaged by a rogue hamster!"
Q: Is "8" used often in conversation?
A: Not to often, but it is helpful to have a plan prepared in the eventuality. You don't want to waste time in an event like that.
Q: What is a "B0XX0R"?
A: To understand this, you must first know the history of the internet:
Shortly after 1971 (When Ronald Reagan first created the Earth) a bunch of bald men got together while wearing lab coats. As any student of the natural sciences knows: X (defined as men with weird hair) + Y(defined as labcoats or, in an emergency, radioactive spiders)= Z(Nifty science type discovery, or gay orgy, depending upon the fetishes of those involved). Now these men all had bald and/or lab coat fetishes, but no KY Jelly. Unable to get it, and too embarrased to go to the local pharmacy, they created the internet and E-Commerce (defined as commerce, but with an E in fornt of it, making it infinitely more kewl) in order to buy their KY Jelly anonymously. It then took them three years to get it, as they had to wait for other bald men to spawn FedEx, but by then sheep had been invented, and most of the scientists were involved in other relationships.
Q: Thanks for the mental images, ass-
A: Always happy to help a friend lose sleep at night.
Q: But you still haven't told me the origin of "B0XX0R".
A: I'm getting to it. As I said the internet was invented in the early 70s, however it was then promptly lost. It took several more years, before an enterprising young amoeba decided to look under the couch cushions. That amoeba (named Al Gore) rediscovered the internet and introduced it to the world. Further, due to the high concentration of Internet-rays that the amoeba was exposed to, he grew up and became the first of a species now known as the politician.
Q; Do you ever plan on answering the damn question?
A: Yes.
Q: Don't you have anything more to say? What is a "B0XX0R"!?!?
A: You only had to ask. It is a common misconception that the internet is entirely filled with nerds who have never seen the sunlight and are obsessed with the size of their ePenis, this is wrong. Chat rooms and other internet places are filled with only four kinds of people:
Fat middle aged perverts sitting around in their boxers who are pretending to be sexy teenaged girls.
Fat middle aged perverts sitting around in their boxers who are pretending to be hot studs.
Fat middle aged perverts sitting around in their boxers who are pretending to be young nerdy guys who don't get enough sun who are pretending to be hot studs.
Finally, Fat middle aged perverts sitting around in their boxers who are pretending to be young nerdy guys who don't get enough sun who are pretending to be sexy teenage girls.
"B0XX0R" is a reference to their boxers, the only item of clothing that they wear (unless you count copious amounts of chest and/or underarm hair as a jacket).
Q: Where are the nerds who are suppossed to populate the internet?
A: Oh, there out there. However, they never go on chatrooms as they are to busy trying to hack into Hentai Tentacle Porn websites.
Q: Wasn't all that just a really long way of answering a simple question for the sole purpose of making a few obvious cheap gags?
A: Your welcome.
Well, thats all for now, goodbye.
Hey whats that on the floor over there.
OH CRAP!!!!
8888888888888
NO! NOT THERE!
AAAIEEE!
8888