NationStates Jolt Archive

I went to a big booze soaked party last night and got really piss drunk. I was talking to this girl and I liked her and she seemed to like me. Eventually her and I got drunk to the point of not remembering what happened. Well this morning I woke up in my friend's bed with her, we apparently had sex. I didn't wear a condom so decided to get a morning after pill really friggin quick.

Then she wakes up and freaks out. She starts accusing me of raping her and all that stuff, threatens to charge me and send me to jail. So I'm trying to calm her down and tell her I was drunk too and don't remember anything. She keeps accusing me and tells me to "kiss my ass goodbye" and then leaves. I yelled for her to take a morning after pill. She gets in her car and drives away. I got her number from her friend and have been trying to call her all day.

But now all I can think of, is that I'm really really friggin screwed. I might go to jail and could be a fucking father. Oh fucking shit.

well at least you now know not to get sloshed at parties!

remember in prison the first guy to give you shit you have to give a savage beating to show everyone else you mean business. If not...bad stuff happens...mostly to a rearward facing area.

Erm....any witnesses?

*realizes he is NOT good at legal issues*

Erm....any witnesses?

*realizes he is NOT good at legal issues*


basically in cases of rape whatever the woman says is taken as truth no matter what anyone else says.

According to her, you raped her, she fell asleep beside you, and woke up beside you, then cried rape? If I was your D.A. I would not touch that.

basically in cases of rape whatever the woman says is taken as truth no matter what anyone else says.

Hardly.

you have nothing to worry about. a girl on my floor was violently raped in her own room, but the cops did nothing because she had come home drunk from a party that night. if the girl is drunk they consider it her fault for being raped, no matter what the laws say.

ok, mr Bryant, thats what the love contract is for.
Also, The guy above is right, after you raped her, she just decided to fall asleep beside you? Come on, nobody'll beleive that..unless you live in a Bush State.
As for the pill thing...better hope she dont oppose no abortion.

she could say she was slipped some drugs that would explain the falling asleep part.

she could say she was slipped some drugs that would explain the falling asleep part.

She could say that, but a blood test would probably prove that she was drunk and nothing else.

she could say she was slipped some drugs that would explain the falling asleep part.
or just that she passed out...alcohol is a depressent, after all, and if he claims HE doesn't remember falling asleep then why would she? if she passed out before or during the sex (which is quite possible with alcohol alone) and didn't wake up until the morning, then her position in bed with him is perfectly reasonable.

she could say she was slipped some drugs that would explain the falling asleep part.

if the trial is within a month, they can just ask for urine or other smaples where "roofies" would be detected.

According to her, you raped her, she fell asleep beside you, and woke up beside you, then cried rape? If I was your D.A. I would not touch that.

I concur; there would be people at the party that could tell the police that both of you were drunk, and therefore, incapable of making decisions.

In any event, I hope this has opened up your eyes as to what getting drunk for the hell of it can do to someone's life.

She could say that, but a blood test would probably prove that she was drunk and nothing else.
not necessarily. there are several drugs that would pass out of her system pretty quickly, so unless she gets the test FAST it wouldn't be possible to prove it either way. generally this means that they would just assume she wasn't drugged, since she can't prove she was.

um... ok? well, if you do go to jail, say goodbye to your butthole being normal sized. :eek:

you have nothing to worry about. a girl on my floor was violently raped in her own room, but the cops did nothing because she had come home drunk from a party that night. if the girl is drunk they consider it her fault for being raped, no matter what the laws say.

Sounds like you're talking about campus rent-a-cops. She should go to the real cops, and if she doesn't get satisfactory treatment she should go to a lawyer.

If I was you, I consider talking to a lawyer rather than a bunch of forum posters who haven't a clue. Find out exactly what your rights are.

I concur; there would be people at the party that could tell the police that both of you were drunk, and therefore, incapable of making decisions.

In any event, I hope this has opened up your eyes as to what getting drunk for the hell of it can do to someone's life.

uh i think if you say the girls incapable of making decisions it kinda proves the DA case

Can I be your lawyer? I yell.

Sounds like you're talking about campus rent-a-cops. She should go to the real cops, and if she doesn't get satisfactory treatment she should go to a lawyer.
nope, this was the real deal. Boston PD. they also ignored another rape on a nearby campus because it was a male-male rape and they claimed the victim must have been gay (and for some reason i guess that means he deserved it); the victims girlfriend was not enough to convince them otherwise, so they talked the victim out of filing a report. maybe it's just Boston that sucks when it comes to prosecuting rape, i don't know.

uh i think if you say the girls incapable of making decisions it kinda proves the DA case

Not girls, drunks.

nope, this was the real deal. Boston PD. they also ignored another rape on a nearby campus because it was a male-male rape and they claimed the victim must have been gay (and for some reason i guess that means he deserved it); the victims girlfriend was not enough to convince them otherwise, so they talked the victim out of filing a report. maybe it's just Boston that sucks when it comes to prosecuting rape, i don't know.

Maybe the Boston P.D. needs a little national media exposure.

Maybe the Boston P.D. needs a little national media exposure.
they got some a few years back, because a BU student was pressured by both BUPD and Boston PD to drop her rape charges; they told her nobody would believe her because she tested positive for marijuana when she went in to the hospital, even though that same hospital visit revealed that she had obviously been forced to have intercourse (damage to her genetalia and so forth). it got even more press because BU expelled her for her drug use as a result...last i heard she was suing them for a whole lot.

of course, rape doesn't make the news these days. murder at least gets a 2-second spot and a shot of the bloody crime scene, but the media has long since figured out that rape is something people don't like to hear about.

not necessarily. there are several drugs that would pass out of her system pretty quickly, so unless she gets the test FAST it wouldn't be possible to prove it either way. generally this means that they would just assume she wasn't drugged, since she can't prove she was.

Many drugs will still show in minute traces in hair strands months after it has dissappeared from the bloodstream...

or just that she passed out...alcohol is a depressent, after all, and if he claims HE doesn't remember falling asleep then why would she? if she passed out before or during the sex (which is quite possible with alcohol alone) and didn't wake up until the morning, then her position in bed with him is perfectly reasonable.Well, according to Arkansas law at least, sex with a drunk person is de facto rape, because they are unable to form the requisite consent. It's almost never prosecuted that way, as far as I know, but it is on the books. It might be elsewhere as well.

but anyhoo, back to the original topic:

i honestly don't think you have anything to worry about. i have worked at a county attourney's office, and i've seen how hard it is to prove rape. hell, i've seen women be refused orders of protection (restraining orders) against men who have been CONVICTED of raping them, so i doubt you will be sent to jail for something like the situation you describe.

maybe at one time the woman's word was taken as gospel, i don't know, but it hasn't been that way in years. a rape victim is instantly doubted, and only the strongest rape cases ever make it to criminal prosecution. cases like the one you describe get thrown out by the DA...at worst, you might have a civil suit filed, but that will be just a last-ditch effort if the chick is really really pissed at you, and you can probably either ignore it or settle it for a pitance.

Many drugs will still show in minute traces in hair strands months after it has dissappeared from the bloodstream...
doesn't matter; most victims of date-rape drugs have no idea they have been drugged until the next day, and can't possibly identify which drug was used on them. if she isn't tested before the fastest drugs could leave her system then that could be used to counter any hair folicle evidence; it could always be the case that one of those fast drugs was used on her, not one that leaves folicular evidence, and the drug was gone by the time the tests were done.

doesn't matter; most victims of date-rape drugs have no idea they have been drugged until the next day, and can't possibly identify which drug was used on them. if she isn't tested before the fastest drugs could leave her system then that could be used to counter any hair folicle evidence; it could always be the case that one of those fast drugs was used on her, not one that leaves folicular evidence, and the drug was gone by the time the tests were done.

Actually hair folicle evidence comes from chemicals that leave lasting traces, or traces of their daughter compounds. (I do not kow if I've used the term correctly, being basically a physicist by formal schoolin'.) Substances that break down untraceably after an entropic cycle must be detected by serology (blood) before that happens.



It occurs to me that I may have been unclear on your intent, so... ;)

Well, according to Arkansas law at least, sex with a drunk person is de facto rape, because they are unable to form the requisite consent. It's almost never prosecuted that way, as far as I know, but it is on the books. It might be elsewhere as well.

So if you're in Arkansas, you can file a cross-complaint for rape against her. Both of you were drunk.

I'm more worried about her not taking a pill and getting pregnent. Last thing I need right now.

I'm more worried about her not taking a pill and getting pregnent. Last thing I need right now.
So,

What have we learned in this little incident?

I'm more worried about her not taking a pill and getting pregnent. Last thing I need right now.

No, a rape conviction is. However your current mindset is more condusive to the appearence of innocence.

Responsibility and moderation are your friends.

I'm more worried about her not taking a pill and getting pregnent. Last thing I need right now.
I agree with Druthulu--a rape conviction is the more pressing issue right now. There's a decent chance you got lucky and she wasn't ovulating at the time, and so she won't wind up pregnant. My advice--if a cop shows up at your door, don't say a thing other than "I want a lawyer." Don't worry if it makes you look guilty in their eyes--you want a lawyer and you want it right away.

I agree with Druthulu--a rape conviction is the more pressing issue right now. There's a decent chance you got lucky and she wasn't ovulating at the time, and so she won't wind up pregnant. My advice--if a cop shows up at your door, don't say a thing other than "I want a lawyer." Don't worry if it makes you look guilty in their eyes--you want a lawyer and you want it right away.

Definitely. Except, if they say "you're not under arrest" you say nothing but "good day" and shut the door.

Also if you are arrested and they question you after you have asked for your lawyer, take down their names and badge numbers and file formal charges against them. When your lawyer does arrive, get him/er alone and tell them to get the videotape from behind the mirror.

And even if they continue to question you, the only words that should escape your lips are "I want my lawyer."

I should note that this advice applies to anyone accused of any crime, most especially if you're innocent. Assert every one of your rights as vigorously as you possibly can, especially the right to remain silent and to consult with an attorney.

Keep in mind everyone is preparing you for worst case scenario. Having been the woman in this traumatic and unfortunate experience before, chances aren't that high that she will follow through and press charges. People are always most angry right after things happen. She'll calm down a bit and think rationally before long at all. She might and probably will be scared and upset by the whole thing, but a lawsuit begins to look less and less fitting.

A great deal of it depends on whether or not she winds up being pregnant. If she is, you more than likely will have a legal battle on your hands. Until then, hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.

I was on a forum called Denden (you lot may have heard of it) and there was an Issues forum for people to talk about their problems and solutions to those. Ninety-nine point nine percent of all the issues posted in there were caused by someone being completely drunk out of their mind.

I got sick of suggesting solutions to these alcohol-induced problems, so all I used to post was: "To stop this from happening again, stop getting drunk".

Nobody took my advice (to my knowledge) and probably to this day people on that forum are doing stupid things which get them into trouble.

Having said that, I wish you the best of luck with your case, and I hope it never gets to court (assuming you're telling the truth of course!)

Finally, there was a mention earlier of a "male-on-male" rape case which got ignored by the Police. This actually wasn't ignored because "the victim must have been gay", it was ignored because the perpetrator was a poof. You can't have a case against a homosexual these days without it turning into a big circus freakshow. (i.e. Michael Jackson!)

I was on a forum called Denden (you lot may have heard of it) and there was an Issues forum for people to talk about their problems and solutions to those. Ninety-nine point nine percent of all the issues posted in there were caused by someone being completely drunk out of their mind.

I got sick of suggesting solutions to these alcohol-induced problems, so all I used to post was: "To stop this from happening again, stop getting drunk".

Nobody took my advice (to my knowledge) and probably to this day people on that forum are doing stupid things which get them into trouble.

Having said that, I wish you the best of luck with your case, and I hope it never gets to court (assuming you're telling the truth of course!)

I really find it hard to believe that THAT many of people's problems were caused by alcohol. Certainly, many are, but I hardly think that 999 times out of 1000 (and yes, I realise you were exaggerating) is representative, unless the forum you refer to is an AA sponsored board...

You should have videotaped this incident for future "oral arguements"! It pays to have secret camera's. As they say "a picture is worth a thousand words".

But I know what you are going through, a few years back a chick and I were messing around while being drunk. She was a little bit too aggresive, and actually hurt her uterus cause of my... ;), she later was mad at me and filed a report on me. Luckily I was found not guilty as there some evidence on her character, alcoholism, and drug use!

This is why I'm not having sex till I'm married... I have not gone insane yet, I think I can hold.

It seems to me that if things went as you say they did then the whole "rape!" thing was probably just the girl being ashamed at having had sex so readily and wanting to save face, and that chances are, providing she's not pregnant, you don't have a thing to worry about...

According to her, you raped her, she fell asleep beside you, and woke up beside you, then cried rape? If I was your D.A. I would not touch that.

It's not as ridiculous as it sounds. Rape doesn't have to be forcible, it merely has to be without consent. Frequently women will "cooperate" out of fear of being hurt. If she told him to stop at any point during sex and he didn't, it's legally rape. Now, if she doesn't remember the night, it'll be hard to claim that she didn't give consent. However, the fact that Johnny doesn't remember either means that it'll be hard for him to defend himself.

I concur; there would be people at the party that could tell the police that both of you were drunk, and therefore, incapable of making decisions.

Not a defense. An overwhelming percentage of rapes involve alcohol.

So if you're in Arkansas, you can file a cross-complaint for rape against her. Both of you were drunk.

Actually, no matter where they are, if neither of them actually remembers what happened during the night, he probably has as much of a case against her as she does against him. However, the jury would probably be more sympathetic to her side of the story.

how sure are you that you had sex with her?
how sure is SHE?
when you are so drunk that you dont know what you are doing, it severely impairs your performance. some men are utterly incapable.

theres a good chance that you "finished" no where near her.

it's unlikely that she will charge you with rape; its a nightmare for a woman (just see what happened to the woman who charged kobe bryant with rape)

unless her dad gets involved, i which case you may be safer in jail.

um... ok? well, if you do go to jail, say goodbye to your butthole being normal sized. :eek:

This is a common misconception about prison. Not everyone is a "bitch". Just keep to yourself, and don't ever accept any "free gifts" from cellmates or the tough guys on your cellblock. I was never man raped, and I did my time (18 months) in a not really nice prison, where us crackers were the smallest minority.

You should have videotaped this incident for future "oral arguements"! It pays to have secret camera's. As they say "a picture is worth a thousand words".

But I know what you are going through, a few years back a chick and I were messing around while being drunk. She was a little bit too aggresive, and actually hurt her uterus cause of my... ;), she later was mad at me and filed a report on me. Luckily I was found not guilty as there some evidence on her character, alcoholism, and drug use!

Oh is this what you meant by humor in that other thread? I've changed my mind, please leave it out.

How "lucky" you were found not guilty. Plus you got a chance to boast about your package here. You really are one lucky fellow!

Males will be frequently railroaded through the system and convicted because very often there is much more sympathy to the woman than the man. Even if he manages to win the case, his reputation and life is ruined, and people will still think of him as "The Rapist", simply because males who are convicted of rape in this country are automatically convicted in the court of public opinion. They really need to find a better way to do rape trials.