NationStates Jolt Archive

First off, if you don't have anything constructive to say that's not going to start a fight, stay the hell out of this thread.

That being said, yes I'm using another account to post this because this is a sensative subject for me.

Alright, here's my story:

I'm 20 years old, and for the past few weeks there's been this girl I know who has said she has a crush on me and wants to date me. Problem is she's 15 and a half.

Now, she's a really mature girl for her age, as she basically had to raise her two younger brothers. She's a straight A student and we have alot in common. We both like eachother alot, but there's been an issue that has been nagging me for some time now....

...should age in a relationship really make a difference? All we want to do is date eachother, we have no plans to have sex or do anything of the like as long as she's a minor, we both have agreed to this. But I'm not sure though, because she so much younger than I am, so that's why I'm asking for some outside advice on this matter.

I really like this girl and we both felt a strong connection when we first met eachother. Would it be wrong for me to date her, or is the age gap nothing to be concerned about?

First off, if you don't have anything constructive to say that's not going to start a fight, stay the hell out of this thread.

That being said, yes I'm using another account to post this because this is a sensative subject for me.

Alright, here's my story:

I'm 20 years old, and for the past few weeks there's been this girl I know who has said she has a crush on me and wants to date me. Problem is she's 15 and a half.

Now, she's a really mature girl for her age, as she basically had to raise her two younger brothers. She's a straight A student and we have alot in common. We both like eachother alot, but there's been an issue that has been nagging me for some time now....

...should age in a relationship really make a difference? All we want to do is date eachother, we have no plans to have sex or do anything of the like as long as she's a minor, we both have agreed to this. But I'm not sure though, because she so much younger than I am, so that's why I'm asking for some outside advice on this matter.

I really like this girl and we both felt a strong connection when we first met eachother. Would it be wrong for me to date her, or is the age gap nothing to be concerned about?

As long as you don't plan to have sex, I see nothing wrong with it.

As long as you don't plan to have sex, I see nothing wrong with it.

Absolutly not, we do not plan on even considering sex until she's older.

Grass in the infield, play ball.

i was in the exact same position about a year ago, i got screwed over, as it turns out I over estimated her maturity.

I was of the belief if it makes you both happy, why the hell not,

hope you have better luck then I did


interesting side note she recently dated a guy who is 25 or 26 and she screwed him over aswell.

Grass in the infield, play ball.
I also got told that joke or varients so many times, it was funny the first few times but after the 31st time it sorta got annoying :)

I dont mean this as a flame in any form, but dude no matter how mature a 15 year old is, shes a mature child wouldnt you rather be dating a woman as opposed to a girl?
I respect the fact that you say you dont want to have sex with her until shes older- but in the heat of passion sometimes good people make bad mistakes.

Peace

I dont mean this as a flame in any form, but dude no matter how mature a 15 year old is, shes a mature child wouldnt you rather be dating a woman as opposed to a girl?
I respect the fact that you say you dont want to have sex with her until shes older- but in the heat of passion sometimes good people make bad mistakes.

Peace

Yes, I know technically she could be considered a child (at least in America) even though her 16th isn't that far away.

As far as dating a 'woman' goes, I tried that 2 years ago. She was my age, and she acted worse than this new girl. I believe that maturity varies from person to person. You can be 40 and be more immature than an 18 year old. Some people are just like that.

And trust me, no matter how much 'passion' there is, I would not sleep with her. The thought of going to jail for statutory (sp?) rape, pedophilia, child enticement, whatever is too big of a turnoff for me.

But yeah, I appreciate the conversation guys.

My girlfriend is 11 years younger than I am -- I'm 34, she's 23 -- and so far we haven't had that many problems. We are of different generations and as such have different attitudes towards society and politics, but that hasn't stopped us from falling in love.

That said, 15 1/2 is not a very mature age, even if she did raise her two siblings. She doesn't have a lot of experience, probably, in interpersonal relationships and might be better off exploring them with someone closer to her age. (My gf actually has more experience in relationships than I do, but that's another story.) How much experience do you have? Do you think your respective levels of maturity are compatible? These are the questions you should ask, not if the age difference itself matters. You say you just want to date, which is fine... as long as you are honest with one another about what the dating means. I would use the dates as an exploration of how compatible you two are as a couple. If it works on the level of dating, then you can deal with how the age difference might affect a relationship (which to me is more committed than dating). And as long as you don't become physically intimate, you should be in the clear legally -- but check how your local statutes define physically intimate. Even kissing her might expose you to statutory rape charges.

As far as dating a 'woman' goes, I tried that 2 years ago. She was my age, and she acted worse than this new girl. I believe that maturity varies from person to person. You can be 40 and be more immature than an 18 year old. Some people are just like that.

The least mature woman I dated was 30 years old, five years older than I am (at the time 25). We were incompatible on some very fundamental levels, yet she hoped we would marry. She believed that I would "change" my beliefs to mirror hers.

go for it. I have a friend who's one year younger then you and is doing the same thing. Only, switched. She's the girl, the guy is the younger one.

My girlfriend is 11 years younger than I am -- I'm 34, she's 23 -- and so far we haven't had that many problems. We are of different generations and as such have different attitudes towards society and politics, but that hasn't stopped us from falling in love.

That said, 15 1/2 is not a very mature age, even if she did raise her two siblings. She doesn't have a lot of experience, probably, in interpersonal relationships and might be better off exploring them with someone closer to her age. (My gf actually has more experience in relationships than I do, but that's another story.) How much experience do you have? Do you think your respective levels of maturity are compatible? These are the questions you should ask, not if the age difference itself matters. You say you just want to date, which is fine... as long as you are honest with one another about what the dating means. I would use the dates as an exploration of how compatible you two are as a couple. If it works on the level of dating, then you can deal with how the age difference might affect a relationship (which to me is more committed than dating). And as long as you don't become physically intimate, you should be in the clear legally -- but check how your local statutes define physically intimate. Even kissing her might expose you to statutory rape charges.

Thank you for the advice. Yeah, perhaps I should be asking those questions. I think we're pretty compatible though, and she actually has more relationship experience than me. I've had several very short relationships, my longest being around 2 months.

Thanks again.

I think age does infact matter.

Tell me a 15 year old girl knows exactly what her plans are for the rest of her life, or that a 20 year old marrying an 89 year old millionaire is for love!

Tell me a 15 year old girl knows exactly what her plans are for the rest of her life,

you would be suprised some do have a good idea of where they want to be and how they are going to get there

that a 20 year old marrying an 89 year old millionaire is for love!

abit extreme but is it impossible? I find it pretty unlikely and would make me quite ill if i knew of it

15 and 20 are two different worlds. I am 17 and I still think anyone out of high school has too little in common with me to date. It's not just age or interests, but it's what's going on in your life at that time. Even the "mature" 15 year olds I know aren't mature enough to date a 20 year old. They don't have the self control to ignore their hormones, and a lot have dated guys older for other reasons- alcohol, a ride, status, someone with more "experience." I don't know this girl, but I'd say if she was really mature she'd recognize that it's not a great idea to date a 20 year old.

Why don't you just wait and be friends for now?

abit extreme but is it impossible? I find it pretty unlikely and would make me quite ill if i knew of it
http://www.eonline.com/On/Holly/Greatest/Facts/smith.html

Ever read Lolita?

I think it's 100% okay as long as both parties are mutual with that...

Sigh..

Stupid American culture making us immature beyond our years by setting these visable and invisable barriers.

http://www.eonline.com/On/Holly/Greatest/Facts/smith.html

do i really want to click that link???

do i really want to click that link???
Dude I dont send bad links , never mind sending bad links to peeps from Adelaide:D Click it! Click it!

Dude I dont send bad links , never mind sending bad links to peeps from Adelaide:D Click it! Click it!

well she's set, smarter then she looks.

I've been in relationships with a lot of girls. Well, they said they were girls. I think they were girls. No, most of them were definitely girls.

One thing I've noticed and come to believe strongly is that there's a massive difference between someone's physical (chronological) age and their emotional age (maturity).

Measuring maturity on a single axis is silly since we're mostly all mature in some respects while still able to emulate a toddler tantrum if our particular buttons are pressed. But we can think of a "general maturity" level.

When I was 24 I went out with a 16 year old still in high school. I had issues with that, but I got over them because she was so mature. We ended up living together and were quite happy.

We had a good sex life until one day when her (very scary) father really got stuck into me about our relationship, and after that I couldn't see her in a sexual way, or as anything other than a child, so I couldn't sleep with her anymore, and couldn't explain why. She even started bringing 'stuff' home with her, like handcuffs and porn, which was very sad in hindsight.. At the time, neither of us realised what was really happening.

Anyway, in retrospect I realise she was significantly more mature than I was, even though she was 8 years younger.

About a year later, when I was 25 or 26, I started going out with a lovely 34 year old, she was an advertising account manager at Saatchi & Saatchi and she'd been married once (no children, though).

She was great fun - we did a lot of drugs, a lot of binge drinking, I tried to explain particle physics to her, and for weeks she kept being very silly about all these "neutrinies" passing through her all the time. Anyway, she was also very emotional, very confused, and really a lot less mature than me - even when she tried to be mature about things she wasn't able to.

These are the two most extreme examples from my own sphere of experience, but I hope they give some indication of what the reality might be. I'm not in a position to calculate the percentages of how often these things work and don't work.

If I had to guess, the best hypotheses I can come up with for why these women were so different is that the 16 year old came from an inner-city Sydney suburb, where she'd grown up with a lot of crime and drugs but also a very diverse mix of people. She's also the daughter of a psychology professor.

The 34 year old, I don't know - she'd had a sheltered life in many respects, until coming home early to find her husband having sex with somebody who wasn't her. She'd also fully embraced the Sydney gay clubbing culture (she was a total fag-hag, if you understand the term), and that revolved around having a lot of fun and not thinking too deeply.

Talking about both those girls brings back a lot of fond memories, and I definitely miss them. People are people.

Maff

PS. Just to make this even longer, I'll tell you about my current partner of 5 years. I don't know how old she is, about 10, I think. She's a very cute cat called Mimi, and she's helped me through a tonne of stuff. I haven't been in a relationship with a girl for the last 5 years, but I don't know if the two are connected.

One thing I find about Mimi is that, since she's a desexed female mammal that's been artificially selected from a quite different animal (as well as her unique upbringing - which was pretty bad before I basically kidnapped her), she has a very odd personality.

She's a kitten a lot of the time - she wants affection, she wants to play, she wants to feel safe and looked after. Other times she's a mother - she has a bizarre habit of licking my eyebrows which she would do forever if I didn't stop her, since I don't think they'll ever lie flat like she wants them to. She also 'pads' at me, pushing her front paws into me alternately in an echo of how kittens help their mothers produce milk from their teets. And she acts all levels of maturity in between, as well - independent for days, completely clingy for a week, and just lazy and sensual for ages.

I do love the sensuality - I love how she likes cuddles and being stroked, and nuzzling me, and making little noises of contentment. We butt heads and rub noses, and it's very cute. So yeah, maybe I don't get laid very often, but I've got someone special who's incredibly loyal and who really cares about me, and she loves to cuddle. Her brain is 150 times smaller (or is it lighter?) than mine, but that's okay. It all depends on what you're looking for in a woman :)

wow an awesome thread
ok any one heard of JOJO singer shes like 13 dresss like shes 18 and looks 16 thats a worry shes being marketed as a TART(various other words come mind)"culture sucks"
Eh a university did a study and came up with a formula which was half your age +7 is an acceptable age difference so you 20 her 15 no 20/2 =10+7 =17
if you were 30 she could be 22,50/32,10/12 it kind of works well up to a point example 80/47 kind of creepy and at the other end they probably shouldnt be dating.
You probably will get screwed over
someone on a radio station took home a guy looked 18 was only 15 she only found out in the morning his age she was a victim kind of as he misled her but if it was the other way around then guy would be up shit river.
Friend is 35ish married his dance partner is 18-20 and is rumoured to like him shes a hottie but thats differnt to but still its kind of wierd and she might cast a spell on him as women are prone to doing.
just some useless ramblings

Half your age and add 7.


Thats the youngest you should go.

"Age ain't nuthin' but a number" and a legal status.

Tricky. If you've had time to get to know her, then yes, maybe you can have a relationship somewhere between friend and girlfriend that you can feel comfortable with. As long as you're careful not to get carried away.

(As a sidenote, age differences can be a problem. A couple of years back I had a relationship for a few months with a woman who was much older than me - it didn't work out. But then that's the reverse problem from yours, so...)

Agree with some statements here, and will add my words. Use caution, and i do mean caution. Like someone here said, that even a kiss. Could ruin your day, be friends for now. Nothing more, she may be mature. But people around you including yours and her parents may have a different view. A friendship is a very good start, if it lasts til she is no longer considerd a child by the state. Then test the waters with something more serious..

I'm 20 years old, and for the past few weeks there's been this girl I know who has said she has a crush on me and wants to date me. Problem is she's 15 and a half.

Meh ... you like her ... she likes you ... I see no problems at all.

Her parents may have a different opinion, though, but that's just a matter of asking. *shrug*

[b][color=red]me 20 her 15.5

Mate in your case, don't date. Don't get me wrong, 4 years difference means nothing. I assume, when she is 16 it would not be wrong/illegal? Well if its only half a year away, why not just stay friends? learn about each other, and see if what you have between you 2 is simply a crush or something more. Also if your both serious i'm sure you can both go half a year without dating anyone else.
Also does she want to go to college or university?
Also as shes raising her 2 siblings, are you willing to be part of that?

It is but then it isn't the most important thing. I guess you have weigh up all the other factors too.

A friend of mine who is a Trenton NJ police officer has a little saying. 15 will get you 20.

You have to understand that growing up is a chemical process and its NOT DONE at 15 and a half, its not done at 20 for most men either.

Understand that at 15 she can not tell the difference between love and lust, and her body is giving her signals she has never felt before, and they are stronger then anything she has ever felt before.

Fact: A teenager is chemically different then a 20 year old of either sex. I'm sure you remember how screwed up things felt when you were 15. I know it spun me around more then a few times.

First off, if you don't have anything constructive to say that's not going to start a fight, stay the hell out of this thread. That being said, yes I'm using another account to post this because this is a sensative subject for me.Alright, here's my story: I'm 20 years old, and for the past few weeks there's been this girl I know who has said she has a crush on me and wants to date me. Problem is she's 15 and a half. Now, she's a really mature girl for her age, as she basically had to raise her two younger brothers. She's a straight A student and we have alot in common. We both like eachother alot, but there's been an issue that has been nagging me for some time now....
...should age in a relationship really make a difference? All we want to do is date eachother, we have no plans to have sex or do anything of the like as long as she's a minor, we both have agreed to this. But I'm not sure though, because she so much younger than I am, so that's why I'm asking for some outside advice on this matter. I really like this girl and we both felt a strong connection when we first met eachother. Would it be wrong for me to date her, or is the age gap nothing to be concerned about?

Ok, If you are not going to be having any sort of sexual relationship then there is nothing wrong with it. However if she has a father like I would be, I would be very weary of this entire situation if I were you. An innapropriate relationship could still be found in this situation. Also since you are an adult, you had better respect whatever her parents wishes are. You also should not be keeping this in secret about your friendship with her. Her parents need to know about this, otherwise they have a right to prevent you from ever seeing her until she is an adult. Not only do you have the potential of ruining her relationship with her parents but you may also have a shot at ruining this girls future. She is only 15 so she is very impressionable and you should not interfere with her growing up. Honestly you're safest and most intelligent bet would be to cut it off right now.

Half your age and add 7.


Thats the youngest you should go.


BAHHH! that means when I should be dating a 19 year old!!! Hell with that, I dont like girls my OWN age, let alone younger then me!

Absolutly not, we do not plan on even considering sex until she's older.

Why not?

Half your age and add 7.
Thats the youngest you should go.

Yea a 21 year old, whoo hoo! I don't think my wife would be this enthusiastic though, so I'll shut up.

Okay, normally, I would say "it depends," when talking about the difference that age makes in a relationship. Some younger folks are much more mature than their ages would indicate and some older folks never seem to lose interest in the things that would normally interest younger people, or some older people never really gain much maturity.

Where age can be a problem in a relationship has to do with personal/cultural/familial references. If a 15-year-old considers Britney Spears a great musician and you're into Led Zeppelin and the 15 year old has never [i] heard of Led Zep, you have a problem. Besides the simple difference in band preference, you have a problem where cultural references that were vitally important to either of you make you practically speak different languages. Besides that, the difference in life experience and educational background between someone who may be going to college and someone who's just beginning high school are astronomical.

Having said all that, no 15-year-old is mature enough to make a decision about being in an intimate relationship with someone who's much older. There are reasons that there are laws in the books that prevent such a relationship from taking place. There are childish games that teenagers play in dating situations that are just not compatible with adult relationships.

One of my now ex-roommates once dated a 17-year-old girl when he was 24 in spite of all my and my other roommate's warnings. She screwed around on him or left him over some petty stuff. Anyway, he was devastated.

If you were dating someone 35 or older, I'd still suggest that you be careful, but you play with fire when you talk about a relationship with a 15-year-old.

OK, I read all the posts, but I have to say that, when I first saw the title of this thread, I thought it was something like my current situation: I'm 50, considering dating a 26-year-old. Oh, yeah, I'm the woman, he's seen my picture and he asked first.

Our frames of reference are going to be mighty different, though. The world I grew up in is history to him. Literally.

You sick bastard, she is only a child! Do her parents know about you? How many sexual offender registars are you on? You need a psychosexual evaluation to determine your probability to offend (or reoffend). Wait 'till she's 18, stay away from her until then, and see if you two still have the same feelings for each other then; that is, if you're not already dating an 8 year old by then.

You sick bastard, she is only a child! Do her parents know about you? How many sexual offender registars are you on? You need a psychosexual evaluation to determine your probability to offend (or reoffend). Wait 'till she's 18, stay away from her until then, and see if you two still have the same feelings for each other then; that is, if you're not already dating an 8 year old by then.

Chill out asshole, It wasn't that long ago that people were married by 16, in some areas of the world they still are.

15-16 is not unreasonable, in fact its BETTER if she has someone who is truely in love with her then some 15 year old kid who just wants to get his dick wet. I know I'd rather my daughter date someone who is going to RESPECT her then some punk ass kid.

Just my two cents

Would it be wrong for me to date her, or is the age gap nothing to be concerned about?

Go for it.

Do you know what Josh calls him? Grandma-Man.

Sorry, didn't mean to upset all you masturbating pedophiles out there! I'm outta here, this place is too demented.

Sorry, didn't mean to upset all you masturbating pedophiles out there! I'm outta here, this place is too demented.

Grow up, yours isnt the only opinion here.

You sick bastard, she is only a child! Do her parents know about you? How many sexual offender registars are you on? You need a psychosexual evaluation to determine your probability to offend (or reoffend). Wait 'till she's 18, stay away from her until then, and see if you two still have the same feelings for each other then; that is, if you're not already dating an 8 year old by then.


Shut the fuck up asshole, I specifically said int eh first sentence if you don't have anything productive to say that not going to start a fight then get the hell out.

Can't you read?

Sorry, didn't mean to upset all you masturbating pedophiles out there! I'm outta here, this place is too demented.

Pedofilia is defined as having sexual intercourse with a child/minor. I have no plans on doing this, so your little name calling is unfounded.

I'd say you were fine if, as you say, you have no plans to have sex before she's *insert age of consent for where you live*. Being honest and open with her parents is vital, too. Parents naturally tend to be suspicious of any male their daughter is involved with and this increases with the age of the man.

Having said that, I'm.... seeing a much older man (he's 32, I'm 17), and so my PoV is bound to be biased.

With the exception of Supremacy, I'd like the thank everyone here for thier opinions and advice on this matter. You've made this alot easier for me.

Chill out asshole, It wasn't that long ago that people were married by 16, in some areas of the world they still are.

15-16 is not unreasonable, in fact its BETTER if she has someone who is truely in love with her then some 15 year old kid who just wants to get his dick wet. I know I'd rather my daughter date someone who is going to RESPECT her then some punk ass kid.

Just my two cents

A most respectable statement.

I talked to her yesterday after posting this thread, and we've decided to just get to know eachother for now. Once she's 16 we may get serious (NOT sexually in any manner), but until then we're just going to keep it simple. She resepcted my opinion on the matter, and I'm glad I've finally found a girl that respects and understands my feelings. She told me she wanted this relationship to be for the long haul, not the short run. We'll see how things turn out.

I'd say you were fine if, as you say, you have no plans to have sex before she's *insert age of consent for where you live*. Being honest and open with her parents is vital, too. Parents naturally tend to be suspicious of any male their daughter is involved with and this increases with the age of the man.

Having said that, I'm.... seeing a much older man (he's 32, I'm 17), and so my PoV is bound to be biased.

She recently (within the past like 6 months) got out of a relationship with a 19 year old guy, and she told me her parents were fine with it.

Granted, the guy was a total asshole who got caught red handed sleeping with other girls on 2 seperate occassions, ontop of the fact taht he made her cry constantly and tried to get into her pants.

I would never do anything like this to her because I care about her. I hope her parents won't freak out when she tells them my age.....

20 to 15.5 is a little much I'd say. In my opinion, just be friends until she's 16. Start to slowly integrate yourself into her life, and let her parents know that you're not just one of those crazy college guys who parties every other night, which you don't sound like. If you really do love each other, you'd be willing to wait a little bit to let her grow some and be willing to work at just a normal relationship before a dating relationship.

My girlfriend and I are completely and totally in love with each other. She's 16, and I'm 18. I graduated last year, and, having decided on a far away college before meeting her, moved to college a month ago. We're doing great, although the first two weeks were tough, we just keep busy and keep our minds off it. And a cell phone that goes onto night minutes at 7PM (5PM her time) with unlimited weekends and nights is quite helpful too. Oh, and a webcamera.

(note: I highly suggest webcameras and MSN to anyone trying to do a long distance relationship. Logitech has an $80 pair to works great, microphones in them too.)

Anyway, we're both looking forward to me going back home every break I can (it's 2000 miles, so Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring break are all gonna be at home). Good luck on your situtation! Just remember, ya gotta work at this kinda thing.

Hey sick one, I obviously struck too close to the truth as the nomenclature of you defense was very scatalogical. I sincerely hope you and any other hell bound twisters get the professional help you need. fofn

Hey sick one, I obviously struck too close to the truth as the nomenclature of you defense was very scatalogical. I sincerely hope you and any other hell bound twisters get the professional help you need. fofn

Then, do tell, what's your idea of "appropriate" ages? It varies from relationship to relationship. My girlfriend's 16 and I'm 18, but she looks and acts like she's much older, even more mature than I am most of the time. Numerical ages don't matter much, it's all about maturity levels.

Can't you read?

Evidently not...

I'd say you were fine if, as you say, you have no plans to have sex before she's *insert age of consent for where you live*. Being honest and open with her parents is vital, too. Parents naturally tend to be suspicious of any male their daughter is involved with and this increases with the age of the man.

Having said that, I'm.... seeing a much older man (he's 32, I'm 17), and so my PoV is bound to be biased.

May I ask you this. Does he truely respect you and treat you as an equal? And if he does do you tend to expect more out of men even your own age because of it?

My thought is this. Its important for young women at a young age to experience a GOOD relationship (with or without sex) so they understand that they have a choice in the matter, and dont let the assholes who just want to get their dick wet walk all over them.

Do you mind telling me how or IF you have grown, or changed the way you think about a relationshilp because of it? (I'm a guy, I'm trying to learn from your point of view, so please forgive me).

~W~

Then, do tell, what's your idea of "appropriate" ages? It varies from relationship to relationship. My girlfriend's 16 and I'm 18, but she looks and acts like she's much older, even more mature than I am most of the time. Numerical ages don't matter much, it's all about maturity levels.

My last GF was 34, I was 22... She looked 22, I looked 34. We were a goofy combo. But we both enjoyed it while it lasted.

Hey sick one, I obviously struck too close to the truth as the nomenclature of you defense was very scatalogical. I sincerely hope you and any other hell bound twisters get the professional help you need. fofn


And I certainly hope you learn to read and follow directions, expecially when the print is red and bolded.

First off, if you don't have anything constructive to say that's not going to start a fight, stay the hell out of this thread.

And dropping in on threads like this with name calling is very immature. Grow up and learn to use the big boy voice, then come back here and post, mmmkay?

Now if you don't mind, stay out of this thread or I'm calling in the mods.We're trying to have an adult conversation here. I've got enough on my mind right now, and I don't need some immature moron starting a flame war in my thread.

I hope her parents won't freak out when she tells them my age.....

Dont worry about the number, prove to them that YOU are a good guy, and you dont want to hurt her. Show her as much respect as you do her parents and you wont have a problem.

Does it matter? Yes, because personalities change, and I'm speaking from experience.

I first met my now-wife when she was 16 and I was 19, and over a decade later we're happily married. An affirmation that young love works out? Not at all. I had more than a dozen friends who had kids in high school, got married right after graduating, and in one case got married her sophmore year of high school. Today, not ONE of them is still together. If you ask them why, the answer is invariably the same "He/She changed"

We like to think that we'll always be just like we are now, but ANY older person will tell you that your attitudes and outlook at 25 are dramatically different than your outlook at attitudes at 15. Most people don't really start discovering "who they are" until they're in there twenties, and who you are shapes a lot of your attitudes towards everything from sex to politics. As an example, one girl I knew in high school was as loose as they come and married a real partier right after graduation, but in her early twenties she "found God" and is now one of the most devout Christians I know...and you'd have never suspected it when she was a teenager. Her husband wasn't interested in going that way, so when she banned beer, drugs, and parties from her home, they were divorced.

In rare cases, like my own, two people may grow in the same direction and develop the same interests, but it honestly isn't very likely. My wife and I are very different people than when we met, and had our interests diverged just a little, we probably wouldn't be together today. Most people aren't that lucky (I saw a statistic somewhere that 96% of couples that get together as teens are divorced by 27).

If you do decide to pursue this relationship, do yourselves a favor and do NOT have children until she is in her mid twenties. Divorce without kids is usually pretty painless. If you have kids and it doesn't work out, however, she'll be bleeding money from you for decades (some of the people I mentioned today pay 60-70% of their income to their ex's in child and spousal support because they didn't heed this advice). There's nothing wrong with waiting to have kids, and it will actually allow you to establish yourselves with homes and careers before investing in kids (children are extremely expensive).

Dont worry about the number, prove to them that YOU are a good guy, and you dont want to hurt her. Show her as much respect as you do her parents and you wont have a problem.


Wow, thanks for the good advice!

Go for it.

What's the worst that could happen?

You break her heart and she slits her wrists...but that ain't all bad.

I know two people in my year going out with 18/19year olds, they easily cope with the age difference, I mean it's only 2/3 years, but sometimes kylie finds it difficult to connect with her older boyfriend Kevin and they row a bit, but twiggy seems fine. Although my friend sarah finds herself attracted to 30, 40 year olds, which I find disturbing.

Personally I could not date anyone more than a year younger than me, but maybe up to two years older. But I'm off dating at the minute, my last girlfriend kind of messed me up and I'm trying to recover from that (god I'm sad). Do you think a six month recovery time is too long?

Ur whining about nothing... Im almost 19.. and I c guys of 20 screwing around with 15 or 16 year olds all the time...

your 20.. go for it.. and.. do ur thing.. dont listen to those housewifes who dont know jack about the real life situation..

and btw.. if u dont do it some other 20 year old will...

Ur whining about nothing... Im almost 19.. and I c guys of 20 screwing around with 15 or 16 year olds all the time...

your 20.. go for it.. and.. do ur thing.. dont listen to those housewifes who dont know jack about the real life situation..

and btw.. if u dont do it some other 20 year old will...

I want to date this girl and get to be aprt of her life, not just crawl into her pants. The more I think about her the more I think that we were meant for eachother, and we're both willing to take this slow to make it work.

Wow, thanks for the good advice!

Thats my advice for EVERY woman, not just the young ones. There is nothing I HATE more then a man being an asshole to a woman.

Hrm, I shouldn't have replied before reading the whole thread. I guess the marriage discussion was a bit premature.

Personally, seriously, I'd say DON'T date her, and here's why.

First, you can't have sex with her, and when you're dating you will inevitably find yourselves in a position where you're both turned on and want to go for it. It's not worth the jailtime bud, and to be perfectly honest if I found out some 20 year old guy was boffing my 15 year old daughter, I'd probably put a bullet in your neck. Some people are probably more progressive than that, but the important thing is HER fathers attitude. Never date people you can't have sex with, because sex is the natural culmination of all romantic relationships. You can sit here and say that you won't do it now, but when you're sitting in the back of your car on a warm fall evening, your wood is hard, and she is turned on, it is extremely unlikely that you'll walk away.

Second, you'll be 21 in a year. You'll be fully legal to drink, club, and otherwise live the wild life that most 21 year olds get to enjoy. She will still be 16 however, leaving you with three choices: Do you go out and party without her? Do you bring the beer and party to her? Or do you give up your own enjoyment for hers? The first and last options will inevitably breed resentment in the relationship, and the middle one will land you in jail if her parents find out.

Third, she's still in high school, which means that she's going to be facing things like junior and senior prom, school dances, and all the other social things that go along with being in HS. Most schools aren't too keen on having twenty-something year old guys hanging out with their teenage students, so you probably won't be allowed to go to these. In that case, she'll either go with another guy (which would seriously undermine your relationship), or she'll skip going entirely, which isn't fair to her. She is only going to go through high school once, and she will always regret it if she misses things like her senior prom over a guy. If you really cared for her, you wouldn't put her in that situation.

Also keep in mind that as a high school student, she is probably getting hit on regularly by other guys her age. The average high school relationship can be measured in weeks, and the "long lasting" ones in months, so the odds of your relationship surviving that kind of constant pressure are slim anyway. Social status wise, when she talks about her boyfriend to her friends, you will always be the "mystery guy" that most people have never met. If she's like most high school girls, she will eventually get tired of that and decide that she wants a boyfriend that she can actually see.

So, to make a long story short, don't do it. The odds of it going anywhere are slim, and the odds of you getting into some serious trouble over it are just too large. There are literally billions of single women in the world, surely you can find one closer to your age? The standard rule of thumb is 1/2 your age + 7, which would place your minimum age at 17. Personally, that's a bit more acceptable (as a father, if a 20 year old guy was boffing my 17 year old daughter, I wouldn't be nearly as upset).

15 and 20 is a lot different than say 20 and 25... a 15 year old is still in highschool where presumably a 20 year old isn't. a 15 year old is living with parents while there's a good chance the 20 year old isn't.

they'd be at comepletely different stages in their lives...

Fun fact: The legal age to consent to sex in Canada is fourteen.

As to my opinion, you have to excerise your judgment on a case-to-case basis.

yeah but in some areas they allow gay marriage so they are very liberal

yeah but in some areas they allow gay marriage so they are very liberal

*sniff* I want to marry my cat!

Hrm, I shouldn't have replied before reading the whole thread. I guess the marriage discussion was a bit premature.

Personally, seriously, I'd say DON'T date her, and here's why.

First, you can't have sex with her, and when you're dating you will inevitably find yourselves in a position where you're both turned on and want to go for it. It's not worth the jailtime bud, and to be perfectly honest if I found out some 20 year old guy was boffing my 15 year old daughter, I'd probably put a bullet in your neck. Some people are probably more progressive than that, but the important thing is HER fathers attitude. Never date people you can't have sex with, because sex is the natural culmination of all romantic relationships. You can sit here and say that you won't do it now, but when you're sitting in the back of your car on a warm fall evening, your wood is hard, and she is turned on, it is extremely unlikely that you'll walk away.

Second, you'll be 21 in a year. You'll be fully legal to drink, club, and otherwise live the wild life that most 21 year olds get to enjoy. She will still be 16 however, leaving you with three choices: Do you go out and party without her? Do you bring the beer and party to her? Or do you give up your own enjoyment for hers? The first and last options will inevitably breed resentment in the relationship, and the middle one will land you in jail if her parents find out.

Third, she's still in high school, which means that she's going to be facing things like junior and senior prom, school dances, and all the other social things that go along with being in HS. Most schools aren't too keen on having twenty-something year old guys hanging out with their teenage students, so you probably won't be allowed to go to these. In that case, she'll either go with another guy (which would seriously undermine your relationship), or she'll skip going entirely, which isn't fair to her. She is only going to go through high school once, and she will always regret it if she misses things like her senior prom over a guy. If you really cared for her, you wouldn't put her in that situation.

Also keep in mind that as a high school student, she is probably getting hit on regularly by other guys her age. The average high school relationship can be measured in weeks, and the "long lasting" ones in months, so the odds of your relationship surviving that kind of constant pressure are slim anyway. Social status wise, when she talks about her boyfriend to her friends, you will always be the "mystery guy" that most people have never met. If she's like most high school girls, she will eventually get tired of that and decide that she wants a boyfriend that she can actually see.

So, to make a long story short, don't do it. The odds of it going anywhere are slim, and the odds of you getting into some serious trouble over it are just too large. There are literally billions of single women in the world, surely you can find one closer to your age? The standard rule of thumb is 1/2 your age + 7, which would place your minimum age at 17. Personally, that's a bit more acceptable (as a father, if a 20 year old guy was boffing my 17 year old daughter, I wouldn't be nearly as upset).

exactly (well ok not exactly because he said it better) what i was going to say.

YOU ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO DATE THIS GIRL

any 20 year old who thinks that he can refuse the advances of his teenaged girlfriend is living in a dream world. any man who thinks that a girl he hasnt really even DATED yet might be the woman he ends up married to, need alot more experience in the world before he's ready for a relationship that holds this much responsibility.

sex is not just a matter of a man trying to get into the pants of a girl. SHE WANTS IT TOO. and a "mature" 15 year old can be VERY seductive. (no im not saying you girlfriend is a slut, im saying she's human)

date WOMEN, not girls and be very selective about it. you have a long way to go before you are ready for a serious relationship

Well, her mom found out my age, and she thinks I'm a wacko pedophile, and she dosen't even know me. I'm trying to telll her that nothing serious is going to happen until she is older, but she dosen't even want to meet me at all.

Oh, and as far as you guys talking about sex, that's something I won't do until marriage. That's a belief that I was raised with and I believe in saving myself for someone that I marry. Sorry if that sounds corny, but I really don't care.

Heres a point to look at concerning age: I am 13 years older than my fiancee, and although we tend not to notice the difference much, we have talked about the fact that I will die before she does, and we have begun to prepare for this fact. However, in the 30 or so years (hopefully more!) years left to me, I intend them to be spent Happily married to her. We will grow older together, I will just die first.

I love you Joanna!

If I had a daughter who was 15, and she was "dating" some 20 year old I'd be very much inclined to find said 20 year old and give him a whuppin. I hope you understand that at 15 she IS a girl, a minor, and that even if you didn't intend to have sex, dating and whatnot when you obviously are attracted to each other is bound for disaster, my friend.

I know it's not very liberal of me to cling on to the concept that children should act a certain way, like not having sex and stuff. But I do. And a lot of people do. And if it ever comes to it, if ever she gets it into her mind that you're not a smashingly good fellow, all she need do is complain and you could be facing criminal charges. And fathers with baseball bats. And anyone who happens to have issues with the concept of pedophiles and child molesters.

So, in the end, I highly, highly, highly recommend staying away from this situation. Search, desperately if you must, for a legal woman who you're compatible with and get your male needs sated. Don't jump in the powder room with a birthday cake and 15 burning candles.

Well, her mom found out my age, and she thinks I'm a wacko pedophile, and she dosen't even know me. I'm trying to telll her that nothing serious is going to happen until she is older, but she dosen't even want to meet me at all.

Oh, and as far as you guys talking about sex, that's something I won't do until marriage. That's a belief that I was raised with and I believe in saving myself for someone that I marry. Sorry if that sounds corny, but I really don't care.
so this means that as a responsible, mature, christian man you wont be trying to persue this girl over her parent's objections, right?

My fiance is 13 years older than I, most of the time I don't even think about it because we are so compatible in every way that counts. I couldn't think of someone I could ever be more happy or more in love with than Big Jim. :fluffle:

Well, her mom found out my age, and she thinks I'm a wacko pedophile, and she dosen't even know me. I'm trying to telll her that nothing serious is going to happen until she is older, but she dosen't even want to meet me at all.

Oh, and as far as you guys talking about sex, that's something I won't do until marriage. That's a belief that I was raised with and I believe in saving myself for someone that I marry. Sorry if that sounds corny, but I really don't care.

Well then, its time to walk away. If her mother refuses the situation then her mother likely feels that she can not handle the situation, and her mother knows her a lot better then you do.

You NEED to respect the wishes of her parents, even if its not what you want.

so this means that as a responsible, mature, christian man you wont be trying to persue this girl over her parent's objections, right?

I won't. But her mom doesn't even want me in the same zip code as her practically. She thinks I'm nothing more than a child molesting pervert, and I'm most definatly not. That's the part that sucks, now I lost a good friend because of this.

as a 17 yrold, i kinda find that fucking disgusting (i just read the first couple posts). how the fuck could you bring yourself to like a 15 year old??? my fucking little sister is 14 and if i fucking caught a 20 yr old going out with her id seriously think about knifing that fuck in the gut or doing something very disgusting and evil to him.

I swear to god, you just gave me the fucking urge to rip your goddam balls off. whew, well fortunately for you, your not dating my sister. I still think your a desperate fuck. jesus man, find a chick your age. JUST LOOK AROUND, take some effort to find the right girl. Just because 1 chick your age sucked ass doesnt mean that they all do. well, i call you a fucking pedophile- cuz i think that a sexual or a romantic relationship like that is disgusting. ughh

im just giving my honest opinion dude, dont take it too personally. but end this relationship now, before something bad happens.

First off, if you don't have anything constructive to say that's not going to start a fight, stay the hell out of this thread.

That being said, yes I'm using another account to post this because this is a sensative subject for me.

Alright, here's my story:

I'm 20 years old, and for the past few weeks there's been this girl I know who has said she has a crush on me and wants to date me. Problem is she's 15 and a half.

Now, she's a really mature girl for her age, as she basically had to raise her two younger brothers. She's a straight A student and we have alot in common. We both like eachother alot, but there's been an issue that has been nagging me for some time now....

...should age in a relationship really make a difference? All we want to do is date eachother, we have no plans to have sex or do anything of the like as long as she's a minor, we both have agreed to this. But I'm not sure though, because she so much younger than I am, so that's why I'm asking for some outside advice on this matter.

I really like this girl and we both felt a strong connection when we first met eachother. Would it be wrong for me to date her, or is the age gap nothing to be concerned about?

If she's under the age of consent, mature or not, she's jailbait. Don't risk it. There's nothing wrong with enjoying her company, but a romantic relationship may be playing a little too close to the edge. She's 15. Wait for that, if you still want it, until she's 18 or so. You say that she's had a lot of adult responsibility put on her shoulders too young. Don't add to it. It wouldn't be ethical to say that since she's handled all these other things, she should be able to handle this too.

as a 17 yrold, i kinda find that fucking disgusting (i just read the first couple posts). how the fuck could you bring yourself to like a 15 year old??? my fucking little sister is 14 and if i fucking caught a 20 yr old going out with her id seriously think about knifing that fuck in the gut or doing something very disgusting and evil to him.

I swear to god, you just gave me the fucking urge to rip your goddam balls off. whew, well fortunately for you, your not dating my sister. I still think your a desperate fuck. jesus man, find a chick your age. JUST LOOK AROUND, take some effort to find the right girl. Just because 1 chick your age sucked ass doesnt mean that they all do. well, i call you a fucking pedophile- cuz i think that a sexual or a romantic relationship like that is disgusting. ughh

im just giving my honest opinion dude, dont take it too personally. but end this relationship now, before something bad happens.

And thank you for adding nothing but pointless flames to this thread. I'm not 'seeing' her OK, so kindly shut your mouth and exit this thread.

I can tell you haven't read this entire thread.

And thank you for adding nothing but pointless flames to this thread. I'm not 'seeing' her OK, so kindly shut your mouth and exit this thread.

I can tell you haven't read this entire thread.
oh, well hehe. i dont really read that well i guess. *laughs at self*
seriously tho, i wasnt trying to flame you- i was just venting. hehe

what i really meant is that you should def not get with her. i didnt read correctly, i apologize.

First off, if you don't have anything constructive to say that's not going to start a fight, stay the hell out of this thread.

That being said, yes I'm using another account to post this because this is a sensative subject for me.

Alright, here's my story:

I'm 20 years old, and for the past few weeks there's been this girl I know who has said she has a crush on me and wants to date me. Problem is she's 15 and a half.

Now, she's a really mature girl for her age, as she basically had to raise her two younger brothers. She's a straight A student and we have alot in common. We both like eachother alot, but there's been an issue that has been nagging me for some time now....

...should age in a relationship really make a difference? All we want to do is date eachother, we have no plans to have sex or do anything of the like as long as she's a minor, we both have agreed to this. But I'm not sure though, because she so much younger than I am, so that's why I'm asking for some outside advice on this matter.

I really like this girl and we both felt a strong connection when we first met eachother. Would it be wrong for me to date her, or is the age gap nothing to be concerned about?

I am not the judgemental sort so let me assure you that I do not have a problem with it. However asking the question illustrates that you do. You are conflicted and wondering "what might people think" and that will greatly interfere with your relationship. No matter what you hear from people in here you won't be able to shake that off.
Now if you wish to continue the relationship and if she is as mature as you think (love makes blind) you should take this up with her and tell her honestly how you feel. That you consider her mature and would like to see her, but that you are afraid of other peoples reactions. Perhaps the outcome will be to wait a year and see if your emotions remain the same, perhaps you agree to see eachother out of the public eye, perhaps she is able to convince you that it doesn't matter or perhaps you make a clean break. Definately better than a rough break because she feels you are not commiting.

15? How can a 20 year old be attracted to a 15 year old? Isn't that pædophilia?

Just the fact that your 20 and you even know and talk to 15 year olds makes you fucking weird and you diserve a punch in the mouth.

I now guys like you, there loser's. If I were you I would walk away and if it's meant to be you will meet her again when she's done highschool or even in college. By the way this is going she most likely won't even finish highschool and you'll turn in to an asshole and dump her when she turns 20 and you'll go try and find a 14 year old.

forget it man. leave it alone!

Just the fact that your 20 and you even know and talk to 15 year olds makes you fucking weird and you diserve a punch in the mouth.

I now guys like you, there loser's. If I were you I would walk away and if it's meant to be you will meet her again when she's done highschool or even in college. By the way this is going she most likely won't even finish highschool and you'll turn in to an asshole and dump her when she turns 20 and you'll go try and find a 14 year old.

forget it man. leave it alone!

Shaddup!

But anyways, good news!

Her mom's on the internet all the time, so I sent her a long and detailed email expressing my feelings on the situation and that I respect her wishes for us not to date until she's older. I also apologized for putting her household in an uproar and for violating her trust.

She read it an told me that maybe I'm not such a bad guy after all, and she wants to talk to me about his more in person. She said that I could stay friends with her and maybe date her when she's older, which I'm fine with.

So, looks like I get to keep a good friend and I get a girlfriend in the future!

I'd say that's a happy ending!

Very happy ending.

I bet you planned it this way.

Keep her as a trusted friend with the families backing. Get another girlfriend for the time being then when the 15 year old is old enough. Dump the current one cause she's getting to old anyway and you gots yourself new girlfriend again. very smooth.......

:)

Just kidding

Shaddup!

But anyways, good news!

Her mom's on the internet all the time, so I sent her a long and detailed email expressing my feelings on the situation and that I respect her wishes for us not to date until she's older. I also apologized for putting her household in an uproar and for violating her trust.

She read it an told me that maybe I'm not such a bad guy after all, and she wants to talk to me about his more in person. She said that I could stay friends with her and maybe date her when she's older, which I'm fine with.

So, looks like I get to keep a good friend and I get a girlfriend in the future!

I'd say that's a happy ending!

Wow that's taking it out on a limb...
Just cause the mom said you may not be such a bad guy after all, doesn't mean it's a good thing. She might want to talk to you in person to scream her bloody head off.

But yeah man, what are you doing as a 20 year old hanging with people a 1/2 decade younger than you? That'd be fine in like, five years, but not at this point. My advise: go for people your 18 or up.

... they have a right to prevent you from ever seeing her until she is an adult....who gives them that rigth?

YOU ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO DATE THIS GIRLYeah, like she must think you are a sissi, and now she is looking for a 21 years old. :fluffle:

who gives them that rigth?
The state government

Wow that's taking it out on a limb...
Just cause the mom said you may not be such a bad guy after all, doesn't mean it's a good thing. She might want to talk to you in person to scream her bloody head off.

But yeah man, what are you doing as a 20 year old hanging with people a 1/2 decade younger than you? That'd be fine in like, five years, but not at this point. My advise: go for people your 18 or up.

Well, not to mention not long after I typed that post HER mom called ME and we talked. Sounds like we'll get along just fine.

Pfft. You don't live where I live. Over here all the girls over 18 want to do is go clubbing and drinking, and basically party all the time. I don't want some party girl who's going to go out clubbing and getting wasted every night. And who the fuck says that the second someone turns 20 they cannot have any contact with people younger than them?

That's bullshit, I can hang out with who I want. I know plenty of "older" people who hang out with "younger" people.

Well, not to mention not long after I typed that post HER mom called ME and we talked. Sounds like we'll get along just fine.

Pfft. You don't live where I live. Over here all the girls over 18 want to do is go clubbing and drinking, and basically party all the time. I don't want some party girl who's going to go out clubbing and getting wasted every night. And who the fuck says that the second someone turns 20 they cannot have any contact with people younger than them?

That's bullshit, I can hang out with who I want. I know plenty of "older" people who hang out with "younger" people.

I'm not saying you shouldn't its just not normal from where I'm from, so whatever. It's just not okay with the people I chill with *shrug* but go ahead and go for the jailbait, by all means.

Well, it is nice to see that things turned out okay. Just htought I'd put in my two cents on the matter:

Consider who the last person she dated was. It is indicative of what she is looking for in a partner right now. The fact that he slept around on her might mean that she chose him less for his morals and more for his status. That indicates to me (although I will admit that I hardly know enough about the situation to judge her) that what she may have been looking at you as another status symbol. I have observed that most people from high school and the beginning year of college most girls will go for status rather than personal connection. It has certainly been the case with several girls that I've known who dated older guys.

The state governmentThe state of California?

go ahead and go for the jailbait, by all means.The only person who would do Jailtime, is Kizarasu, if he used his knife on Frankland.

I've spent the last wonderful year and a half with a man ten years my senior, and remain very happy. It just doesn't come into it.

When I was 14, I dated a 20 year old. Of course, there was no sexual relationship in this! It turned out he made a sham out of things - but that was to do with the fact he had a twisted mentality, not anyone's age. If he hadn't lied to me about an especially nasty issue, I think we could have had a much longer and successful relationship. Either way, there was no problem with the age gap.

Since you're not going to have sex until she's older, I would say go for it!

My girlfriend is 12 years younger than me....it makes no difference to either of us. So no, it really does not matter.

Well, a day or two after our "split up", she starts going out with somebody else. She's already kissing him and they're both acting like they've been dating for months.

Thanks for the advice guys, I always had my suspicions that she was nothing more than an immature child. For some odd reason I thought she'd be different, but I was clearly wrong.

Again, thanks for the advice. I'm not sad or anything, I actually had a gut feeling this would happen.

Well, it is nice to see that things turned out okay. Just htought I'd put in my two cents on the matter:

Consider who the last person she dated was. It is indicative of what she is looking for in a partner right now. The fact that he slept around on her might mean that she chose him less for his morals and more for his status. That indicates to me (although I will admit that I hardly know enough about the situation to judge her) that what she may have been looking at you as another status symbol. I have observed that most people from high school and the beginning year of college most girls will go for status rather than personal connection. It has certainly been the case with several girls that I've known who dated older guys.

This statement has turned out to be eerily true. Thank you.

I'm 20 years old, and for the past few weeks there's been this girl I know who has said she has a crush on me and wants to date me. Problem is she's 15 and a half.

That in itself isn't a problem. But socially it could awakard. There are a number of other issues.

Now, she's a really mature girl for her age, as she basically had to raise her two younger brothers. She's a straight A student and we have alot in common. We both like eachother alot, but there's been an issue that has been nagging me for some time now....

Being mature can help, but that isn't all there is too it. Undestading realtionships is far more important, but not many people, mature or not seem to be to do that.

...should age in a relationship really make a difference? All we want to do is date eachother, we have no plans to have sex or do anything of the like as long as she's a minor,

Difference ia age shouldn't matter, but if she were 10, then I'd be worried.

we both have agreed to this. But I'm not sure though, because she so much younger than I am, so that's why I'm asking for some outside advice on this matter.

I was in a simalr situation to you once, it worked out well, in hindsight though, I'm not sure it was a good move, just a lucky one.

Half your age and add 7.


Thats the youngest you should go.


That makes no sense

I haven't read the whole thread, but I'm going to comment on the original post.

True Love knows no bounds, nor limitations.

JiangGuo

15? How can a 20 year old be attracted to a 15 year old? Isn't that pædophilia?

Nope. I swear sometimes people really need to understand life a bit more.

For some odd reason I thought she'd be different, but I was clearly wrong.


Because it would have been a good reason to allow for the way you were feeling

First off, if you don't have anything constructive to say that's not going to start a fight, stay the hell out of this thread.

That being said, yes I'm using another account to post this because this is a sensative subject for me.

Alright, here's my story:

I'm 20 years old, and for the past few weeks there's been this girl I know who has said she has a crush on me and wants to date me. Problem is she's 15 and a half.

Now, she's a really mature girl for her age, as she basically had to raise her two younger brothers. She's a straight A student and we have alot in common. We both like eachother alot, but there's been an issue that has been nagging me for some time now....

...should age in a relationship really make a difference? All we want to do is date eachother, we have no plans to have sex or do anything of the like as long as she's a minor, we both have agreed to this. But I'm not sure though, because she so much younger than I am, so that's why I'm asking for some outside advice on this matter.

I really like this girl and we both felt a strong connection when we first met eachother. Would it be wrong for me to date her, or is the age gap nothing to be concerned about?
She's 15 something and your 20? :D Whats the problem? When I read the title I thought that it was some 50+ year pedophile asking if he should date a 9 year old. Cause they are realy in love with eachother. :D

15? How can a 20 year old be attracted to a 15 year old? Isn't that pædophilia?and How can a 60 years old man be attracted to a 16 or 18 year old? Isn't that pædophilia too?

Age matters. Trust me.

She's 15 something and your 20? :D Whats the problem? the problem is that Frankland is not MATURE enough for the girl (just like like Ashmoria said).
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7085763&postcount=88

the problem is that Frankland is not MATURE enough for the girl (just like like Ashmoria said).
http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7085763&postcount=88
I dunno bout Old Frankland. But someone 20 years old is not to old for a relationship with a 15 and a half year old.

Old enough to walk, Old enough to cock...

The age difference between the two of you is only 5 years, right? That, in my opinion, is not a sufficiently significant difference to cause serious problems, unless the two of you just can't wait for the next three years to pass. If you can't wait, then you could have a major problem!

I once dated a young lady who was 30 years younger than me. I was 53 at the time. She and I were incredibly compatible, but the age difference was too much to overcome. More than about 10 years of age difference will place the two people in significantly different age groups with different world-views, different maturity levels, different experience levels, etc.

If you'd like an "old" man's advice ... see if the two of you can hang on for three years. If, at the end of that time, you still feel strongly about each other, start getting serious. If you can't, drop it.

I honestly dont' know what to tell you. I've done the age thing (9 years my senior) and we didn't feel a difference between us. It didn't work b/c of person circumstances....however, I won't ever pass judgement on someone who feels that connection with someone. I wish you both luck, and pray that you're careful.

okay, age shouldnt matter to begin with. If both people are mature then fine, as long as they have the prioraties straight and are honest with eachother, right now im 15 and dating a 20 year old as well, we are both honest with eachother and he knows that I do not plan to do anything with him at the time, and he doesnt push it. Age doesnt matter in a mature relationship.

No it doesn't matter, but if if you love her so much you will let her mature a bit more and have her gain some expirience with this type of stuff... oyu know shes just a teenager and might not know what she is doing.

Heres a little help for everyone who's wondering about the age. The way to calculate the perfect age is to divide your age by 2 and then add 5 years.

Heres a little help for everyone who's wondering about the age. The way to calculate the perfect age is to divide your age by 2 and then add 5 years.
yes, maybe, but only if they are mature.

yes, maybe, but only if they are mature.
Alright. Then lets put an age limit on this little formula. It only applies to 18 years or older.

Heres a little help for everyone who's wondering about the age. The way to calculate the perfect age is to divide your age by 2 and then add 5 years.

So I should be dating 35 year-olds? KEWL! I can live with that! ROFL! :D

So I should be dating 35 year-olds? KEWL! I can live with that! ROFL! :D
It's realy not that uncommon.

So I should be dating 35 year-olds? KEWL! I can live with that! ROFL! :D
you're 60?

My boyfriend is two years younger than me. I'm 18 and he's 16. People keep telling me that I'm robbing the cradle and that's its weird for a older girl to date a younger guy. He is really mature for his age and I love him. So I see nothing wrong with dating someone younger as long as you can both control yourselves and not have sex. Make sure to set boundries before you date though. That way you won't get into a position where you get too involved and go too far.

you're 60?

Sixty-one, to be exact ... I rounded downward! :D

Sixty-one, to be exact ... I rounded downward! :D
oh...

My boyfriend is two years younger than me. I'm 18 and he's 16. People keep telling me that I'm robbing the cradle and that's its weird for a older girl to date a younger guy. He is really mature for his age and I love him. So I see nothing wrong with dating someone younger as long as you can both control yourselves and not have sex. Make sure to set boundries before you date though. That way you won't get into a position where you get too involved and go too far.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
2 years??????????????????????????????????????????
On what weird, backwards planet do you live??????

Sixty-one, to be exact ... I rounded downward! :D
Cheater. It's 39 year olds for you. There shall be punishment.

My boyfriend is two years younger than me. I'm 18 and he's 16. People keep telling me that I'm robbing the cradle and that's its weird for a older girl to date a younger guy. He is really mature for his age and I love him. So I see nothing wrong with dating someone younger as long as you can both control yourselves and not have sex. Make sure to set boundries before you date though. That way you won't get into a position where you get too involved and go too far.

You sound like you've got an uncommon level of maturity for an 18 year-old. My hat's off to your parents! ;)

Cheater. It's 39 year olds for you. There shall be punishment.

RATS! Like that ONE year is going to make any diffeence??? Hehehe! :D

RATS! Like that ONE year is going to make any diffeence??? Hehehe! :D

Umm ... 61 divided by 2 = 30.5 plus 5 = 35.5 , right? What am I missing here???

Cheater. It's 39 year olds for you. There shall be punishment.

Besides, a lil "punishment" now and then adds a bit of spice to any relationship, don't you think? ROFLMAO!!!

Besides, a lil "punishment" now and then adds a bit of spice to any relationship, don't you think? ROFLMAO!!!
Ummm...no....I'm a good boy. I only corpulate to pro create. Honest!!!

Ummm...no....I'm a good boy. I only corpulate to pro create. Honest!!!

Uh ... yeah, right. And my name is John Kerry and I'm running for President, although I have NO idea why! LOL!

And my name is John Kerry and I'm running for President, although I have NO idea why! LOL!
Because you think Bush's tactic to take over the world by force, Independence Day style, is costing the taxpayer to much money. So you want to use a different approach. By lulling your allies into a slumber untill they fully trust the US and then strike.

Because you think Bush's tactic to take over the world by force, Independence Day style, is costing the taxpayer to much money. So you want to use a different approach. By lulling your allies into a slumber untill they fully trust the US and then strike.

Yup! Today Iraq, tomorrow the world! Mwahahahahaha! :sniper:

Wow, this got so off topic. I'd say wait awhile. At that age, she's way to young to seriously start a relationship. When you both are older (20-30s) then age diffrence isn't much of an issue. My grandparets are about 15 years apart and my friend's parents are about 20 years apart and they're fine. But 15 is too young.

I'm 17, and when I was 15 I had a boyfriend that was 19.... It was never a big deal, as long as both people are comfortable, and her parents aren't too weirded out (if you do tell them) I don't see anything wrong.

Wow, this got so off topic. I'd say wait awhile. At that age, she's way to young to seriously start a relationship. When you both are older (20-30s) then age diffrence isn't much of an issue. My grandparets are about 15 years apart and my friend's parents are about 20 years apart and they're fine. But 15 is too young.

Your friends parents are definitely the exception to the rule. Most couples with that much of an age difference wind up parting ways. If I didn't know that, I would most likely have married that lady who was 30 years younger than me. God! We were sooo compatible! :headbang:

gee. at least you can all get a date.

I'm convinced that I'll never get a date. when I voice my concerns, the answer is either silence or "ummmmm... of course you'll get a date."


and no, it don't matter

-Jake

The age difference won't matter once she's over 18; my parents are 14 years apart and they got married when dad was around 19 or 20, and mom was 30-something. So, if you like her, go for it. In a few years, it won't matter.

gee. at least you can all get a date.

I'm convinced that I'll never get a date. when I voice my concerns, the answer is either silence or "ummmmm... of course you'll get a date."

.....Theres someone out there for everyone.....realy... :D
And you are such an...eeh... inspirering person who..euuuhhh.. has so much to give....you´ll find someone. I´m sure of it........

.....Theres someone out there for everyone.....realy... :D
And you are such an...eeh... inspirering person who..euuuhhh.. has so much to give....you´ll find someone. I´m sure of it........
that's the first positive response I've gotten in years.

-Jake

that's the first positive response I've gotten in years.

-Jake
Glad to be of service.*hick* :D

Your friends parents are definitely the exception to the rule. Most couples with that much of an age difference wind up parting ways. If I didn't know that, I would most likely have married that lady who was 30 years younger than me. God! We were sooo compatible! :headbang:you let her go away? you are an Idiot.

The age difference won't matter once she's over 18; my parents are 14 years apart and they got married when dad was around 19 or 20, and mom was 30-something. So, if you like her, go for it. In a few years, it won't matter.
why it wont matter once he is 18?

For your own safety, legal, psychological, and etc, it is a good idea to not be involved with this girl. She is much too young. She is not your equal, I don't care how 'mature' you think she is.
Here are the risks for you, you could end up getting her pregnant, even having sex with her without getting her pregnant is illegal in most places now. It's called 'statutory rape'. Ever hear the expression 'jailbait'?
She is jailbait and you should really know better than to take that kind of a chance of ruining your own future.
Here are the risks for her, suppose you guys did get involved physically, she became pregnant and you guys married?, well eventually you two are not going to be on the same wavelength. You guys would end up divorced, and you would be paying a buttload of money in child support and alimony, thus screwing up your chances of haveing a new relationship, scuttleing it right from the start.
Don't try to fool me that this is not about sexual attraction. It is. Don't lie to yourself about that. 15 year old girls are usually very lovely. It is normal for men to be attracted to beautiful female humans. The thing is that just because it's a totally normal instinctive reaction, that doesn't make it a good idea.
This is a very bad idea.
I realize there are cultures where this is not a rare age difference, but these are countries where arranged marriages are the norm, and where both families would be under a lot of social obligation to be of help to you both. In those culures, there is no way in HELL you'd be allowed to be alone with her without being married. These are all culures where you'd be married or both of you would be dead. Which brings me to the question of parents, this girl is a MINOR. She can get into huge trouble with her parents over you. If her parents don't care it's actually WORSE!
In modern Western cultures a young man often hasn't begun to earn enough to support a wife and children before reaching at least age 25, and neither a young man nor a girl have completed their educations. I will grant that these are artificial social barriers, Another fact is that a female human, is generally not going to be totally ready for childbearing before about age 18.
Situations where you two are alone are situations where sex can happen. Maybe neither of you would start off meaning to have sex but it's a real possibility that it could happen, and you will both be dealing with consequenc es, most of which would be miserable, and heart breaking.
Personally I think it's a bad idea for people who can't deal with the consequences to form a romantic relationship. There are consequences.
I am not saying this on a religious basis. I am simply speaking practically.
As far as age in general being a factor in relationships, because of how things are in most of the world now, for younger people it makes a lot of difference. for people past the age of say 45, if the younger partner is well educated, I don't think it is usually a big deal, but even there, the older partner is less healthy usually.
The factor of your grown children interfering is very real. The fact of previous spouses, or other relatives of your partner being a big fat problem is very real.
If you really love this girl, please don't risk ruining her life and yours, please do yourself and her a big favor and stay away from her.

For your own safety, legal, psychological, and etc, it is a good idea to not be involved with this girl. She is much too young. She is not your equal, I don't care how 'mature' you think she is.
Here are the risks for you, you could end up getting her pregnant, even having sex with her without getting her pregnant is illegal in most places now. It's called 'statutory rape'. Ever hear the expression 'jailbait'?
She is jailbait and you should really know better than to take that kind of a chance of ruining your own future.
Here are the risks for her, suppose you guys did get involved physically, she became pregnant and you guys married?, well eventually you two are not going to be on the same wavelength. You guys would end up divorced, and you would be paying a buttload of money in child support and alimony, thus screwing up your chances of haveing a new relationship, scuttleing it right from the start.
Don't try to fool me that this is not about sexual attraction. It is. Don't lie to yourself about that. 15 year old girls are usually very lovely. It is normal for men to be attracted to beautiful female humans. The thing is that just because it's a totally normal instinctive reaction, that doesn't make it a good idea.
This is a very bad idea.
I realize there are cultures where this is not a rare age difference, but these are countries where arranged marriages are the norm, and where both families would be under a lot of social obligation to be of help to you both. In those culures, there is no way in HELL you'd be allowed to be alone with her without being married. These are all culures where you'd be married or both of you would be dead. Which brings me to the question of parents, this girl is a MINOR. She can get into huge trouble with her parents over you. If her parents don't care it's actually WORSE!
In modern Western cultures a young man often hasn't begun to earn enough to support a wife and children before reaching at least age 25, and neither a young man nor a girl have completed their educations. I will grant that these are artificial social barriers, Another fact is that a female human, is generally not going to be totally ready for childbearing before about age 18.
Situations where you two are alone are situations where sex can happen. Maybe neither of you would start off meaning to have sex but it's a real possibility that it could happen, and you will both be dealing with consequenc es, most of which would be miserable, and heart breaking.
Personally I think it's a bad idea for people who can't deal with the consequences to form a romantic relationship. There are consequences.
I am not saying this on a religious basis. I am simply speaking practically.
As far as age in general being a factor in relationships, because of how things are in most of the world now, for younger people it makes a lot of difference. for people past the age of say 45, if the younger partner is well educated, I don't think it is usually a big deal, but even there, the older partner is less healthy usually.
The factor of your grown children interfering is very real. The fact of previous spouses, or other relatives of your partner being a big fat problem is very real.
If you really love this girl, please don't risk ruining her life and yours, please do yourself and her a big favor and stay away from her.
Yes!!! Stay away!!! Or God Almighty will smite you with all his smiting, Jesus magic!!! And then you´ll go to hell where the air is pungent with the aroma of roasted behinds!!!

you let her go away? you are an Idiot.

Perhaps. I've definitely been called worse. One of the major sticking points for me was the fact that she had a 2 year-old daughter and I wasn't interested in raising another child ... her daughter, not her. Nevermind. It's all in the past now.

Yes!!! Stay away!!! Or God Almighty will smite you with all his smiting, Jesus magic!!! And then you´ll go to hell where the air is pungent with the aroma of roasted behinds!!!
LOL

Yes!!! Stay away!!! Or God Almighty will smite you with all his smiting, Jesus magic!!! And then you´ll go to hell where the air is pungent with the aroma of roasted behinds!!!


Excuse me, I didn't say a damned thing about going to Hell, I was speaking of PRACTICLE consequences, not 'moral' ones.
God didn't enter into what I had to say. Practical stuff did.

...she had a 2 year-old daughter....I take it back, you are absolutamente NOT an idiot. :D
Dont Worry there is plenty of 30-something good looking ladyes...whose kids already away.

Yes!!! Stay away!!! Or God Almighty will smite you with all his smiting, Jesus magic!!! And then you´ll go to hell where the air is pungent with the aroma of roasted behinds!!!

Hmmm. Sounds like you may have been Catholic at one point or another. :D

I take it back, you are absolutamente NOT an idiot. :D
Dont Worry there is plenty of 30-something good looking ladyes...whose kids already away.

Oh, I KNOW, I KNOW! LOL! Wanna see my "current?" :D

Excuse me, I didn't say a damned thing about going to Hell, I was speaking of PRACTICLE consequences, not 'moral' ones.
God didn't enter into what I had to say. Practical stuff did.what is the Practical stuff? Jail?

Because you think Bush's tactic to take over the world by force, Independence Day style, is costing the taxpayer to much money. So you want to use a different approach. By lulling your allies into a slumber untill they fully trust the US and then strike.

ROTFLMAO!

Thanks for the advise, some of you. But I can tell alot of you haven't read this whole thread. Here's what I posted awhile back.

Well, a day or two after our "split up", she starts going out with somebody else. She's already kissing him and they're both acting like they've been dating for months.

Thanks for the advice guys, I always had my suspicions that she was nothing more than an immature child. For some odd reason I thought she'd be different, but I was clearly wrong.

Again, thanks for the advice. I'm not sad or anything, I actually had a gut feeling this would happen.