NationStates Jolt Archive

I was just thinking about all the different versions of the afterlife, and which ones people might enjoy more.

For me, I'm a complete and total pacifist. Still, I'd like to end up in Valhalla. I figure it'll be like going paintballing with my friends every day, only with more blood. Then at night we go drinking and brag about our war stories. "Dude, I can't belive you hacked off both arms in one swing!"
"Hey, man, don't give me any credit! Your unit won because you ripped my throat out with your teeth! Brilliant!" Then we get up the next day and do it all over again. Of course, no two battles would be the same. Odin's a creative guy.

A Jewish friend of mine said he wouldn't mind going to dog heaven. There'd be a lot of outdoor space, it would only rain when you wanted it to, you could pee anywhere you wanted, and you'd nap on a whole bunch of pillows when you got tired. I asked him if he'd mind eating dog food, though. He said dogs wouldn't want dog food, and therefore it wouldn't be in dog heaven. He figures he'd sit around and eat bacon all day. Then he'd chase squirrels and cats for awhile.

So anyway, where do you want to end up?

I want to go into the ground as ash, so that other life-forms can make use of my substance.

For me, I'm a complete and total pacifist. Still, I'd like to end up in Valhalla.
No offense, but why would a "complete and total pacifist" want to end up in a place full of warriors?

To the hospital.

No offense, but why would a "complete and total pacifist" want to end up in a place full of warriors?

Well, in Valhalla no one would actually be killed. I really enjoy fencing, violent computer games, and paintballing. I like tactics and wargames. I just don't like killing. There isn't any killing in Valhalla; it's all a big game.

I'm perfectly aware that I'll never actually end up there. I just think I'd enjoy that portion of the afterlife. It's that simple.

On the other hand, I like women a whole lot. There's some eastern religion that says when you die you get something like 85 virgin concubines all to yourself. I don't think I'd like that as much. Nothing but sex for the rest of eternity? I think I'd get bored... Plus, after a few hundred years, the women would realize that they were way more attractive than me, and just cut me out of the equation completely. Now it's an eternity of being scoffed at by virgin lesbian ex-concubines. Sounds like hell to me. Or maybe a twisted version of high school. Those two may be the same thing.

I want to Burn in Hell for all eternity.

I want to Burn in Hell for all eternity.

You can answer better than that. Come on. Be more specific. You can do it.

I want to Burn in Hell for all eternity.
Me too. I have a thing about heights and the halo would probably give me an allergic rash. :(

the halo would probably give me an allergic rash. :(

I hear that they have creams for that nowadays.

I would like to have my own planet for me to form in my own image. I would be like an immortal and help the inhabitants grow from cavemen to advanced civiliazations. kinda like a really big RTS game lol

I would like to have my own planet for me to form in my own image. I would be like an immortal and help the inhabitants grow from cavemen to advanced civiliazations. kinda like a really big RTS game lol

So you're Morman?

mmmmmm pie

mmmmmm pie


Yes. I second your love for pie. As a non-so-wise man once said,

Pie is better than cake because pie has filling. Some people try to fill cakes, but they're lying to themselves. Pie is 80% filling, and filling is business.

Personally, I go for French Silk. Or as my friends call it when they watch me make it, butter pie.

So you're Morman?


lol im not a bloody mormon. just a control fre--- yeah im probably a mormon

If there's a heaven, it's located on the porch of a log cabin on an endless Sunday morning in October. Two rockers, my husband, my dog, and a big old cup of tea.

lol im not a bloody mormon. just a control fre--- yeah im probably a mormon

lol, just as much as I'm a Viking in denial. So.... Up for some multiplayer next eon?

If there's a heaven, it's located on the porch of a log cabin on an endless Sunday morning in October. Two rockers, my husband, my dog, and a big old cup of tea.

Murr... Very nice. Kinda reminds me of Star Trek Generations.
Only Kirk didn't have a husband.

He did in the editor's cut. ;)

I think I'm very thankful to never have seen that... :( :eek:

Milton Keynes

Murr... Very nice. Kinda reminds me of Star Trek Generations.
Only Kirk didn't have a husband.

He did in the editor's cut. ;)

a green place where everything is perfect

no questions are asked

intruders are punished :gundge:

Hmph, anyone who's had an NDE would tell you that they'd rather not see it again. Sometimes it's hard not eating a gun.

Hmph, anyone who's had an NDE would tell you that they'd rather not see it again. Sometimes it's hard not eating a gun.
I think you're on the wrong thread.

If there's a heaven, it's located on the porch of a log cabin on an endless Sunday morning in October. Two rockers, my husband, my dog, and a big old cup of tea.
And some pie, of course :p

And some pie, of course :p

LOL. Now stop mentioning pie. I'm trying to stay clean.

And some pie, of course :p


No pie! Nooooooo piiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!

No pie! Nooooooo piiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!
No pie, no heaven. Sorry.

No pie, no heaven. Sorry.

Bah. Pie is the devil's pastry. You'll have to enjoy your pie in H-E-double-hockey-sticks, Mister!

Bah. Pie is the devil's pastry. You'll have to enjoy your pie in H-E-double-hockey-sticks, Mister!

Oh, for Pete's sake! We have a whole thread devoted to pie! You two be nice or I'm getting the hose.

Oh, for Pete's sake! We have a whole thread devoted to pie! You two be nice or I'm getting the hose.


Oh, all right.

*Sulks*

Oh, for Pete's sake! We have a whole thread devoted to pie! You two be nice or I'm getting the hose.
OK, OK, I'll be nice. Want some pie, Mezzaluna?...





Hey, I just tried to be nice!

Oh, all right.

*Sulks*

Awww.... There there. It's ok. Drink your tea and don't worry about it.

OK, OK, I'll be nice. Want some pie, Mezzaluna?...





Hey, I just tried to be nice!

OK! THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

*draws gun*

I'M SORRY IT'S COME TO THIS, BUT...

GIMMIE THE PIE!
:mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5:

OK! THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

*draws gun*

I'M SORRY IT'S COME TO THIS, BUT...

GIMMIE THE PIE!
:mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5: :mp5:
:eek: HEY!!! Don't kill me! I still don't know where I want to go when I'm dead!!!

[edit] And I'm not eager to know, really...

:eek: HEY!!! Don't kill me! I still don't know where I want to go when I'm dead!!!

[edit] And I'm not eager to know, really...

Oh, ok. ;)

You should join me in Valhalla. They've got good booze there.

Oh, ok. ;)

You should join me in Valhalla. They've got good booze there.
See, I think all that fighting is not for me... The booze thing is appealing, though, but I don't think they have proper Rum over there. Those guys look more like beer consumers.

Any pie in Valhalla, by the way? :p Nah, seriously, Mezzaluna's heaven would be the kind for me. If I wasn't an atheist, I mean. ;)

O_o what an odd thread. I suppose my personal heaven would be one where something new and interesting happens every day, but I don't think any religion is that specific. Besides, it sounds more like life, only better...

Quite frankly, i think by the time I'm ready to die (ie really really old and tired) the best thing would be to rest for eternity. You know that warm, soft, cottonwool feeling you get when you're just awake enough to know you're comfortably asleep? That.

O_o what an odd thread. I suppose my personal heaven would be one where something new and interesting happens every day, but I don't think any religion is that specific. Besides, it sounds more like life, only better...

Quite frankly, i think by the time I'm ready to die (ie really really old and tired) the best thing would be to rest for eternity. You know that warm, soft, cottonwool feeling you get when you're just awake enough to know you're comfortably asleep? That.

*claps* Very nice. Is there room for more than one?

In my personal religion you get 5 hot sluts when you die. Unlike virgins they love to get it on. :D Also there will be lots of beer and pie and all the dog heaven stuff. Yeah and dogs too. It is a work in progress ;)

Work and pray, live on hay. You'll get pie in the sky when you die.

So anyway, where do you want to end up?

Elysium ... or perhaps the Comache version of Valhalla. Less fighting, more women.

Hmph, anyone who's had an NDE would tell you that they'd rather not see it again. Sometimes it's hard not eating a gun.

Define "anyone". I've heard some NDE accounts saying that after the shock of whatever injury or illness, they then experience great peace and even long for that feeling again. Interestingly enough, though, many people who have HAD an NDE are among the most resistant to the idea of committing suicide...even though they treasure the peaceful part of the experience.

I have heard there have been frightening NDE experiences some people have had...but I don't think those are in the majority.

As for what I would like...I have a few different ideas of what I'd want to do for eternity. One thing I definitely would want is to be able to learn much more about the universe and how it works--to be able to have the company of other spirits who lived and could reveal parts of that themselves, as well as to know the "greater" mysteries of the universe. I also find the idea of serving in some capacity to be compelling. I think one thing human beings have to have in order to be content is a sense of purpose, so I would want to have some sort of "use" as an immortal, such as the idea of a guide or a guardian angel. I don't know...I'm just spouting ideas.

Valhalla, or the Elysian Fields would be nice.

The eternal skislopes or another place in the beautifull mountains.
*Shit, means that I have to stay here* :eek:

Valhalla, or the Elysian Fields would be nice.

so the "Champs Ellysees", quite crowdy there in Paris :) i know that you refer to the Classic meaning :)

Valhalla would be my favorite.

I plan on going to Hell. Not the Xtian illusion to inspire fear into possible converts; paradise, where I can endulge in everything until I am given a new body.

id like to go to some kind of womens heaven

no bad hair days
no menstruation
chocolate is a sacred food
all sex leads to orgasm
someone else does all the housework
and i look GREAT no matter what the latest fashion is

I would like to go to the comic "Jack's" version of heaven. Where by mere thought alone you can make your own heaven. I would live in a small rocky valley deep in the Rocky Mountains. The snake river would drift lazly through this valley, and I would be alone in this all, unless of course I felt like having a companion, which could provide me with an intellagent conversation. It would snow when I felt like it, and the sun would shine when I want it. It would be night when I want it, and vice versa. Pines would cover the vally walls, and I could climb these walls whenever I wanted. Over the next ridge would be a place I liked to visit a long time ago. A large plain where plums, and pears grew wild. A steep cliff dropped off to a large resivoure that was full of fish.

Assuming that there is an afterlife, and I die in battle, I'd surely pick Valhalla. Ya'll do you know that you have to die in battle to get into Odin's Hall don't you? ;)

Not wanting to die is perfectly natural. I can't think of any creatures who have evolved with a built-in death-wish. However, the actual state of being dead does not worry me. My life will come to an end, one way or another, and that will be that. My brain, and therefore my consciousness, will simply stop working. I don't lie awake at night thinking "Oh no, one day I'll be dead and it will horrible. Boo hoo!" I know that on my death, the atoms that have been my body and brain, and created my mind, will return to the universe. They'll stay around on Earth for millions of years, inhabiting the bodies of countless people and other organisms, but eventually, aeons from now, they will return to the great engines of creation that formed them. The stars. When the earth is a sterile, charred rock, my body will be part of stars, planets, comets' tails and brightly shining nebulae. Some of me will briefly fuel a distant sun and be burnt into energy, and the photons that were once me will skim the edges of the universe, spiral into black holes, and maybe illuminate the face of a child looking at the night sky for the very first time. This is immortality. This is life and this is death.

All things die. You and I are among those things.

So to sum it up - I am not afraid of death (although I'm not too keen on actually having to do it)

But hey, if there is an afterlife, I'll send you a postcard.

Pudding Planet. :D

Preferably with all the deceased cheerleaders.

I'm not sure what the setting would be, I'd probably just have it change to suit my whim, but the feeling would be like being stoned, only it would keep getting better.
edit: Oh yeah, and all my friends would get to chill there too, and we'd never piss eachother off, because there would be nothing to disagree about, because everything would be perfect.

Into a Cryonic facility,to be frozen.
"Chill out" for a few hundred/thousand years,to come back if they find out how to bring me back.
Even if it is just as a head/brain in a jar.

None.

I don't wanna die.

You all do know that you can get into Valhalla by hanging yourselves, right?

I was just thinking about all the different versions of the afterlife, and which ones people might enjoy more.

For me, I'm a complete and total pacifist. Still, I'd like to end up in Valhalla. I figure it'll be like going paintballing with my friends every day, only with more blood. Then at night we go drinking and brag about our war stories. "Dude, I can't belive you hacked off both arms in one swing!"
"Hey, man, don't give me any credit! Your unit won because you ripped my throat out with your teeth! Brilliant!" Then we get up the next day and do it all over again. Of course, no two battles would be the same. Odin's a creative guy.

A Jewish friend of mine said he wouldn't mind going to dog heaven. There'd be a lot of outdoor space, it would only rain when you wanted it to, you could pee anywhere you wanted, and you'd nap on a whole bunch of pillows when you got tired. I asked him if he'd mind eating dog food, though. He said dogs wouldn't want dog food, and therefore it wouldn't be in dog heaven. He figures he'd sit around and eat bacon all day. Then he'd chase squirrels and cats for awhile.

So anyway, where do you want to end up?

Man you have to be a warrior and made lots of enemy kills to get in the Walhalla, and the ones you'll meet... well they will talk ancient northern germanic :D So if you made enough kills and get there... well :D it 'll be a bit of a disapointment I think.

preferably a grave yard

Into an urn or in a casket six feet underground.

That's it.

A world with no irritating american accents (no offense I know you can't help it) aaaaaaand I'm gonna go for the womans heaven cause I'm feeling very menstrual currently.

Earth-heavan. Just like Earth, only where there are no limits to anything.