NationStates Jolt Archive

I found this in someone's signature here. I read it.

http://www.620wtmj.com/620programs/charliesykes/liberal.asp

It appears to me that this is about 95% wrong.

What It Means to be a Liberal.

The other day I found myself very puzzled.

I know what I believe, why I believe it, the philosophical foundations of my beliefs. I've studied everything from Karl Marx to Ludwig von Mises, from Friedrich Hayek to FDR, from Edmund Burke to Bertrand Russell, from Aristotle to Ayn Rand.

I understand modern conservative thought. I understand libertarian thought. I understand classical liberalism. What I can't begin to comprehend is modern liberalism. Maybe you can help me. As near as I can tell, to be a liberal:

You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.

IF there is a church that is valid, it has been pre-approved by the government.

You have to be against capital punishment but for abortion on demand ... in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

You have to believe that the same public school idiot who can't teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the Sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is natural.

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but pasty, fey activists who've never been outside Seattle do.

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You have to believe there was no art before federal funding.

You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

You have to believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels can't deliver the quality that PBS does.

You have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution.

You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.

You have to believe that Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

You have to believe second-hand smoke is more dangerous than HIV.

You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady and Rosie O'Donnell is not really a man who is jealous of Tom Selleck.

You have to believe conservatives are racists but that black people couldn't make it without your help.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

Looking back on my list, it seems shallow, muddled, contradictory, divorced of logic and a bit sadistic.

Well, then. If that doesn't describe the modern liberal, I don't know what does.


Karl Marx to Ludwig von Mises, from Friedrich Hayek to FDR, from Edmund Burke to Bertrand Russell, from Aristotle to Ayn Rand - my ass. It sounds like he got his political education from Rush Limbaugh.

He thinks that liberals are Stalinists.

I'll leave the good mebers of this forum to debunk, disprove and shoot down these ridiculous statements by Mr Sykes.

I'm going to bed.

P.S. Is that shit what qualifies as "political discourse" in America? Sad...

Being a liberial means you're ready to kill repbulicans. If not your not a true leftist.

I'm about as left wing as they come and i certainly consider myself liberal but i dont believe many of those things. sometimes ideas that arent conservative arent always "traditional" liberal either.

who is charlie sykes and is he a pothead?

Being a liberial means you're ready to kill repbulicans. If not your not a true leftist.


So, how long exactly have you been living with rabies?

Well....it seems kind of sad to me, but the list is HILARIOUS! Alright, so it takes the stereotypes too far consistantly, but man does he point out some of the right stuff. I mean, this would have seriously made me think back when I was liberal (like two years ago) to what I was doing. Anyway, I know that each side has it's problems, but this was great. I think I haven't see so hilarious a political commentary since....I honestly can't remember.

I love it. Thanks for the laugh!

-R. S. of UC

PS: oh, and if you disagree with me, feel free to telegram me. I like debate!

P.S. Is that shit what qualifies as "political discourse" in America? Sad...

Its called humour. And its pretty damn funny.

Its called humour. And its pretty damn funny.
its like super sterotype++
it would be funny if it was super stereotype but it takes the full blown sterotype past funny into asinine

Both liberals and conservatives make no real sense. They actually agree on far more than they disagree on.

Being a liberial means you're ready to kill repbulicans. If not your not a true leftist.
Said the fascist.

Most of it's too absurd to argue about.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but pasty, fey activists who've never been outside Seattle do.
Yeah, well the activists aren't shooting holes in nature.

You have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution.
Different parts of the constitution. The major one the ACLU is supporting is Amendment 1, while the NRA supports Amendment 2. IMO, one teaches to exercise violence, the other one teaches you to exercise your thoughts.

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
Yes, thats what us socialists believe. But the liberals who are capitalist... well, the point is there are capitalist liberals.

You have to believe that the same public school idiot who can't teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
Well, the teacher probably has never read once in their life, but has had sex so many times they knows everything on it.

How is this humor? It's a list of flawed partisan stereotypes - a perfect strawman. You can do the same for just about anything. It's still misguided and petty. And yes, a "What It Means to be a Conservative" version would be just as pathetic.

Said the fascist.


I am a LIBERIAL fascist.

I'm a Conservative.

A person who lost an election should still get the job.

France has never given us supplies, credibility, or good advice.

Having been the son of a president and board member of oil companies makes a person fully aware of the needs of middle America.

Getting investment capital from people who ignore/fund terrorists makes you an unbiased party when the time comes to fight terrorists.

Iraq is a much safer tourist destination now than it was in March 2001.

How dare Saddam kill and oppress his own people...who would ever give this man weapons?

A pile of body bags is a very orderly group.

Its ok that 60% of U.S. Companies pay no income tax. We don't need the money.

Defense spending is so effective that there was more terrorism in 2003 than in 2002. Good thing we didn't waste that money educating children.

People who can't do anything else become presidents.

Why should I have to wait for 72 hours to buy an M-16 just because 32,000 people get shot every year?

Parents who weren't involved enough not to know that their kid is having unprotected sex are really responsible.

People who have no home or money would never turn to crime to feed their children.

Treating people differently because of race, gender, creed, or sexual orientation never leads to hate and violence.

Racial profiling is a great idea, because no one who commits domestic terrorism is white.

Why do the people we bomb always want to protest us?

Being a C student is all that's required to be the leader of the free world...thank God.

Military might is only given to infallible people.

If there's one group of people who have always had it easy it's the Jews.

Because between Iraq and the United States, the United States never acts like a bully.

Hitler believed he was right to occupy europe. George Bush believes he is right to occupy Iraq.

There's no evidence to support evolution, and every scientific test ever done has shown the existence of God.

Those who are wrong are never in power.

Capitalism has been a roaring success, no one suffers or has trouble getting ahead.

Venture capitalists have consistantly showed that they want only the advancment and success of our entire nation, they should have total freedom over playing God with stem cells.

People without health insurance always get top quality medical care from the over-worked free clinic.

Hypocracy is never a problem, everyone always does exactly what they say they will. Especially when it comes to WMDs.

All the problems in society are caused by poor minorities who are lazy, selfish, and have always had it easy.

That list is stupid and based on poor prejudices. It's easy to figure out that "the list" was written by a ignorant american. I can't fingure out why conservatives allways have to pick on the politics of a socialist. I'm from Denmark, we have conservatives too in Denmark, but NO politician in Denmark would ever think that teachers are not qaulified to teach kids about sex. I'll believe it's pretty much the same all over the rest of europe(exept where the catholic influence is high). That tells a lot about the conservative america.

"Yeah, well the activists aren't shooting holes in nature."

God put nature on the earth for a reason... TO PUT HOLES IN THEM!!!(<Joke) But seriously, the reason why they are here is pretty much so we can use them for food, clothes, tools, etc. Think about it. MANY things in nature have some purpose; not just to look at(yes you can look at nature and some things were somewhat made for that purpose: flowers, stars, sunsets, etc.):

Cows give milk and you can eat them. Bees polunate to help grow plants for oxygen and also make honey :D . You can eat chickens and also their eggs. Plants filters air and you can also eat them. worms and praying mantises really help in crops. You can eat deer. You can eat pigs. you can eat fishies :D . Use animals like bears for furr coats to keep warm. flies eat wastes which helps it decompose. horses/donkeys/other powerful beasts can help plow, carry stuff or ride. you can even eat them if you need to. Camels are great transport for desert areas. Dogs help hunt and help control sheep when trained. Sheep gives wool for clothing. and many others.

What i DO disagree with hunting for NO reason. To hunt and just throw away the carcass= bad. God gave animals to us basically as gifts and we shouldn't kill them so you can shoot a gun at something. Its a waste. If you wanna shoot a gun for fun there are shooting ranges for that. If u gunna eat the deer then go ahead.

Both liberals and conservatives make no real sense. They actually agree on far more than they disagree on.

You can't really be serious...?

:headbang:

Are you comparing Democrats and Republicans?

From Myrth's list of Conservative ideas:

A pile of body bags is a very orderly group.

Though I'm thoroughly ashamed of this, I laughed out loud at that one.

who is charlie sykes and is he a pothead?

No, no, no!

Pot heads are the liberals

COKE heads are the conservatives :)

He's on COKE!

who is charlie sykes and is he a pothead?
don't blame pot for shit like that.


i say it's crack coccaine. or maybe lsd, 'cause you've got to be tripping to think like that.

The list is just sad. It's not even funny.

Replace 'liberal' with 'jew' and you can see the man is as off his rocker as Ann Coulter.

It's hateful. Grossly inaccurate. Full of oversimplifications. It's not even based in reality.

It wasn't funny, so I assumed it wasn't intended to be.