NationStates Jolt Archive

do you/would you let a woman take you out? i.e. she pays, not you.

do you/would you let a woman take you out? i.e. she pays, not you.
If she wants to.

Hell yes, just as soon as it rained gold and a bag of diamonds falls from the sky and lands in my pocket...

My wife was a student when we met, and I owned my own business. I think it took her almost 4 years to even get a job, let alone pay for anything...

Grrrrrrrrrr

Now she is a nurse and has plenty of money, but it is a little late to pay for the dates lol

I would feel bad :D :headbang:

If women want them selves to be classed as independant in this world then they should pay for dates and other stuff.. Like the men have done for far to long ..


* Sings to the girls *

" Take me out "

Just because she offered to pay does not mean she is the one who took us out. It is more of we went out together and one time she was nice and offered to pay. I believe that women and men have a different but equal status in society and her paying once just shows that some day she could also take some of the financial resposibilities if we get married.

If she has a job and if she has a revenue, I let her pay.
If she is a student or if she hasn't got any revenue, I pay.

Actually, most of the time the girls feels bad when I pay. I prefer letting her pay so she feels better.

I wouldnt do that on a first date, the dude should pay. But after she is a girlfriend or wife, all that is thrown out the door :)

well, my bf is rather broke right now and as a result he refuses to go anywhere even if i pay because he won't let me do so.

well, my bf is rather broke right now and as a result he refuses to go anywhere even if i pay because he won't let me do so.

I was raised to be a Southern gentleman, but that's just silly. If a woman is really worth dating, you can swallow your pride for her. Your bf needs to be smacked upside the head. :D

Meh.

Politically correct: She should be allowed to pay.

Socially correct: One person paying does not obligate the other to anything other than gratitude.

Chivalry: Men pay because traditionally women are not expected to carry money out of doors due to the increased possibility of robbery due to the nature of the fairer sex. It is not macho, it is practical. However, a smart, frugal, chivalrous type will often seek out the best deal or try to have as much fun as possible with as little out of pocket expense as possible. Please note that chivalrously paying for stuff is not inclusive of going out to eat and then walking into a shoe store next door and buying $200 pumps.

Prostitution: If a woman guarantees privileges depending on the amount of fun she had at the man's expense, this is no less than prostitution. Guarantees are inappropriate. Regardless of who pays, a lady and a gentleman are both expected to have standards that extend beyond the financial.

Sharing the wealth: However, if one or both of the members are "fed" (I'm not sure this term is exactly popular, but it means "well off") then the issue of monetary usage is no longer in play. Whoever has money, will spend it. As long as no expense is gratuitous, spread the wealth because who knows how many times a poor male student has tried to treat a wealthy young lady that is certainly enjoying herself and has DEFINITELY no need to be "treat"ed.

Retraction: After all is said and done, nobody should have to feel uncomfortable around the bill at the end of the day. If it so happens that someone feels debt, politeness should extend a helping hand saying "it was my treat, you get next time" at very worst. If the expense was high-unrepaid and/or the experience was uncomfortable, better luck next time and don't go out with the moocher again.

In theory, whoever asks and/or has the money at the time pays.

In practice, generally I have money a lot more often than my girlfriend, being that she's a full-time student. Even if she offers to pay, I generally talk her out of it.

My girlfriend and I usually take turns... more or less. I mean, it's not like anyone keeps careful track, but roughly speaking if she pays one time, I pay the next. If we have cash, we usually split it... but usually we're paying credit/debit, so it's just easier for one person to pay.

Also, we both pretty much agree that things are different if one person is making a lot more money than the other. For instance, when we first started dating I was waiting tables and had virtually no money for luxuries like eating out -- so she paid almost all the time; often I would "pick up the tip." Then last summer, I had a research job, while she was studying for exams and not teaching... so I was the one who paid all the time.

Doesn't that just make sense??

I was raised to be a Southern gentleman, but that's just silly. If a woman is really worth dating, you can swallow your pride for her. Your bf needs to be smacked upside the head. :D
well, we spend time together and all, just generally staying in instead of going places...

but yeah, i think it's his ego but really he's taken me out places lots of times before so it seems only fair that i return the favour every now and then.

I'm Dutch :p

and yes I know going dutch = splitting the costs

In theory, whoever asks and/or has the money at the time pays.

In practice, generally I have money a lot more often than my girlfriend, being that she's a full-time student. Even if she offers to pay, I generally talk her out of it.

maybe that could be another reason other than pride, i'm a full time student, but i have lots of possible jobs (lots of places around campus are hiring now) and i still have a fair chunk of cash left over after paying my tuition from my summer jobs.

I do belive that paying should be whomever has the money. Not that I have gone out on a lot of dates but most of the women insist that they pay for their half even though I offer to pick up the bill.
I graciously accept and some times get to go out on a date. (Then they buy glasses and see what I realy look like and I never see them again .... but that is a whole nother issue :p )
I always pay out of common cortasy only cause I got a decent job and can afford it but I never refuse when she wants to share in the cost.

I might feel a tad weird, but if she wants to, she's free to.

Same thing with taking me out :p

Paying? We always have run-dates

In general I have gotten to the point where I consider this no different from eating with co-workers or friends and relatives. Sometimes each paying under an agreed method is best, and if everyone tends to eat mostly the same splitting the bill is the easiest in terms of things overall, but in smaller numbers the "I pay"/"You pay" rotation is often an equally proper solution, because when you are with someone you like, in a place you both like, eating things you both like, paying for that is also something that one that can give pleasure, and I wouldn't want to deprive anyone of pleasurable experiences.

My girl makes twice as much as I do, but always expects me to pay. She says she's propper, and thinks that's the way it should be, but she only seems propper when it works in her favor. It pisses me off.

My girl makes twice as much as I do, but always expects me to pay. She says she's propper, and thinks that's the way it should be, but she only seems propper when it works in her favor. It pisses me off.

i dont envy you at all, my friend. my girlfriend and i usually split everything, unless (like most of you) one of us is in a particularly broke period. or if its one of our birthdays, or anniversary, or any other special occasion where one of us just wants to do something nice for the other.

what the devil is "going dutch?"

do you/would you let a woman take you out? i.e. she pays, not you.
Yes. Especially if I already know she won't put out.

I wouldnt do that on a first date, the dude should pay. But after she is a girlfriend or wife, all that is thrown out the door :)
My thoughts exactly.

Paying? We always have run-dates
Ummmm ... how? Prosthetic legs?

:p

what the devil is "going dutch?"

Going "Dutch" means that you pay your own way instead of having someone else pay for you.

I always try to split the bill for the first date, or let him buy a round and me buy the next if it's just drinks. I feel more comfortable with the situation if we are on equal footing tab-wise.

Besides, If I pay my share, then the guy knows I'm shagging him because I think he's hot. Not because he bought me dinner.

I would feel bad :D :headbang:

Ditto.

It's not that I think that she can't pay, I just think that she shouldn't have to.

Like a lot of feminists act like holding open doors is bad because men treat it like women are too low or weak to open the door, but I think of it more as women are higher, and shouldn't have to...I am lowering myself to open the door for her, same with paying...

I'm a guy, and most of the time I pay, and I prefer it that way. I don't mind splitting the bill, but it can get awkward if you don't have the right change. I'd rather take turns paying than split the bill. I voted other.

If I take a girl to the cinemas, I buy two tickets, she buys two Cokes. That leaves me paying about 2/3 or 3/4, so I'm happy with that. If I'm not that fussed on a girl, I'll let her pay her own way.

I've had a weird date though, she opened the door open for me, paid the whole bill, then got on top for the sex afterward and was very dominant. It was pretty cool, and made a nice change from being the gentleman, like I normally would do.

Not that it really matters too much.

Oh, and this might seem corny but the girls take it right:

Girl: Here, you don't have to pay for it all.
Guy: Its alright, I'll pay for you. If you feel guilty, then put your half in the next kids' charity box.
Girl: Aww, you're such a sweetie.
Guy: I know. *cheeky grin*
Girl: *laughs*

Works for me ;)

I would accept the date under the condition she doesn't think it entitles her to any "extras".

:p :eek:

Not one of the men, but the way I usually look at it is:

1st date, I offer to split, but honestly if he asked me out, and he's not a student/unemployed, I'd be disappointed if he didn't refuse.

2nd date, same thing, but if he doesn't insist I kind of get the feeling that things aren't going to work out. Though that's not always the case :)

3rd date, I insist on paying for both of us.

After that it really doesn't matter to me who pays. Like one the above posters mentioned, if he gets the tickets to a show, I'll get the drinks, or dinner afterwards. Things (should) sort of work out even at that point.

Like a lot of feminists act like holding open doors is bad because men treat it like women are too low or weak to open the door, but I think of it more as women are higher, and shouldn't have to...I am lowering myself to open the door for her, same with paying...

woah, what? if i get to the door first, i hold it open for whoever comes after me... whether it's someoen i'm dating a friend of mine, a random stranger who's coming into the store shortly after, a lady with a baby carrige, whatever, it's just polite.

aside from that, usually there are two sets of doors nowadays so if a guy gets the first set, then there's another set for me to hold open for him.

i dunno, my ex used to insist on opening doors to the point where i'd have to race him to the door because it just got so annoying.

The few times a woman I've been dating has offered to pick up the tab, of course I've accepted. There have only been two reason for this in my experience; one, the woman wanted to prove her financial independence and pay me back for some of the not expected expenses of hers I'd covered, and it would have been an insult to not let her do so; two, the person wanted my company and wanted to go out and I didn't have the money, it would have been rude to force her to either chose between not going out or forgoing my company - I cannot say I took up much of her money, but I had to accept. Sounds to me like you should present it to your boyfriend as the second case, you want to go out and you want to go out with him, and you're willing to pay for him just so you can enjoy his company.

If she really really really insisted...

No, never, but I was raised by an Old-world Italian family, so I've had chivalry beaten into my skull from birth. I have to pay for meals, open doors, pull out chairs, etc., etc., etc., out of compulsion. I hate it because it infuriates girls alot of the time that I'm so thickheaded about being chivalrous.

Of course. While I love to treat my girlfriend to a good time, I dun mind bein' treated to the same. In fact, she's already planned such.

My girlfriend and I take turns more often than not, but hell, we've been together going on 4 years now and have lived together for more than 3, so these days, the question is more likely which one will buy the groceries. :D

As the man, always be prepared to pay. Always be willing to pay.

But also always be willing to split the bill if your female companion is insistent.

The idea that the man ALWAYS has to pay is a bit outdated and sexist.

But to be willing and able to pay is chivalrous.

Complicated, isn't it? :p

*does a loud fart*

When you get married you are going dutch for life. I.E all things equal.

When you get married you are going dutch for life. I.E all things equal.

AHHHH HAHAHAHAHA!!

My wife has a motto: "What's yours is mine. What's mine is mine."

;)

If she pays, does that mean that I have to put out?

:fluffle:

AHHHH HAHAHAHAHA!!

My wife has a motto: "What's yours is mine. What's mine is mine."

;)

So a perfect communistic life is not likely? [/sarcasm]

So a perfect communistic life is not likely? [/sarcasm]

With enough boinking, you don't really notice that you're not in charge of your own life anymore. :D

With enough boinking, you don't really notice that you're not in charge of your own life anymore. :D

So we ARE being trained. Damn!

woah, what? if i get to the door first, i hold it open for whoever comes after me... whether it's someoen i'm dating a friend of mine, a random stranger who's coming into the store shortly after, a lady with a baby carrige, whatever, it's just polite.

aside from that, usually there are two sets of doors nowadays so if a guy gets the first set, then there's another set for me to hold open for him.

i dunno, my ex used to insist on opening doors to the point where i'd have to race him to the door because it just got so annoying.
Whahahaaa

You raced for every door? That's just funny. "Last one at the door pays!"


With enough boinking, you don't really notice that you're not in charge of your own life anymore.
Did you just say "boinking"

Yep. Boinking. :D

As near as I can tell, I am the only person on this forum who uses 'boinking' to refer to sexual intercourse.

Yep. Boinking. :D

As near as I can tell, I am the only person on this forum who uses 'boinking' to refer to sexual intercourse.


I could be crude, but naah.

I could be crude, but naah.

*blink* You're exercising restraint?!? Who are you, and what have you done with Big Jim P? :eek:

*blink* You're exercising restraint?!? Who are you, and what have you done with Big Jim P? :eek:
YEAH, be mean to the guy

*blink* You're exercising restraint?!? Who are you, and what have you done with Big Jim P? :eek:

I have stalked him till he died.

I have stalked him till he died.

You beat him to death with a celeryt stick?!? :eek:

You beat him to death with a celeryt stick?!? :eek:


:)

Wet noodles works better. Plus a few Voodoo *oops ofended someone* rituals.

my girlfriend and i have a system that works she shouts one time and i shout the next time.