NationStates Jolt Archive

Sometimes, odd things happen to me without really trying. I seem to attract wierdness.

Much more often, I'm the one distributing wierdness.

I've had a very weird day so far today.

My day started off with a trip to the emergency room with little Goofball. It seems he found something sharp in our well baby-proofed house and cut himself on it. My wife, normally a calm and collected individual goes berzerk and off we go to the hospital for a cut leg. I mean, there was quite a bit of blood, but not THAT much. Suffice to say, little goofball is fine. Mom is calmed down and I needed a drink.

UNfortunately, I had a party of kids to entertain. Parents frown on drunk clowns no matter how funny you act. The birthday boy got among other things, a hockey stick. One of his buddies, a twelve year old wiseass thought it would be cool to smack the clown in the stomach with the stick while he was juggling knives. He swung low. Now, I'm on the ground holding my crotch. By some miracle, none of the knives find flesh. Mine, or other people's. It didn't even hurt that badly. I've been hit much harder in the balls. One of the ocupational hazards of being a mischievous troublemaker all my life. But it took me by surprise, and down I went. Now, all the parents are fussing over me. They're scolding the child. The kids are laughing. The clown is rubbing his crotch. What a party, huh?

A short time later, when the kid gives me a surly and forced apology, I say in my most non-chalant voice, "Don't worry, kid. I'll save my vengeance for when you're eighteen." Everybody laughed. Perhaps they thought I was joking. But I got his address... *nod*

Well, I just got home. When I checked the mail, there was an invitation inside. One of my best friends invited me and my wife to a party in two weeks. A Naked party! :eek: Now, being naked at a party is nothing new to me. But typically, I drink copious amounts of alcohol first. I don't know what to think of me and my friends(who like me, can behave very oddly under the effects of alcohol) and our significant others at a party where we START naked!

Now, my wife is sleeping. SHe has work tonight. little goofball is three feet to my left in his rocker and babbling incoherently. And I'm having a beer and wishing I could have ten so I could babble incoherently too. *sigh*

Sometimes, odd things happen to me without really trying. I seem to attract wierdness.

Much more often, I'm the one distributing wierdness.

I've had a very weird day so far today.

My day started off with a trip to the emergency room with little Goofball. It seems he found something sharp in our well baby-proofed house and cut himself on it. My wife, normally a calm and collected individual goes berzerk and off we go to the hospital for a cut leg. I mean, there was quite a bit of blood, but not THAT much. Suffice to say, little goofball is fine. Mom is calmed down and I needed a drink.

UNfortunately, I had a party of kids to entertain. Parents frown on drunk clowns no matter how funny you act. The birthday boy got among other things, a hockey stick. One of his buddies, a twelve year old wiseass thought it would be cool to smack the clown in the stomach with the stick while he was juggling knives. He swung low. Now, I'm on the ground holding my crotch. By some miracle, none of the knives find flesh. Mine, or other people's. It didn't even hurt that badly. I've been hit much harder in the balls. One of the ocupational hazards of being a mischievous troublemaker all my life. But it took me by surprise, and down I went. Now, all the parents are fussing over me. They're scolding the child. The kids are laughing. The clown is rubbing his crotch. What a party, huh?

A short time later, when the kid gives me a surly and forced apology, I say in my most non-chalant voice, "Don't worry, kid. I'll save my vengeance for when you're eighteen." Everybody laughed. Perhaps they thought I was joking. But I got his address... *nod*

Well, I just got home. When I checked the mail, there was an invitation inside. One of my best friends invited me and my wife to a party in two weeks. A Naked party! :eek: Now, being naked at a party is nothing new to me. But typically, I drink copious amounts of alcohol first. I don't know what to think of me and my friends(who like me, can behave very oddly under the effects of alcohol) and our significant others at a party where we START naked!

Now, my wife is sleeping. SHe has work tonight. little goofball is three feet to my left in his rocker and babbling incoherently. And I'm having a beer and wishing I could have ten so I could babble incoherently too. *sigh*
dude, I wish I had your life :p

Sometimes, odd things happen to me without really trying. I seem to attract wierdness.

Much more often, I'm the one distributing wierdness.

I've had a very weird day so far today.

My day started off with a trip to the emergency room with little Goofball. It seems he found something sharp in our well baby-proofed house and cut himself on it. My wife, normally a calm and collected individual goes berzerk and off we go to the hospital for a cut leg. I mean, there was quite a bit of blood, but not THAT much. Suffice to say, little goofball is fine. Mom is calmed down and I needed a drink.

UNfortunately, I had a party of kids to entertain. Parents frown on drunk clowns no matter how funny you act. The birthday boy got among other things, a hockey stick. One of his buddies, a twelve year old wiseass thought it would be cool to smack the clown in the stomach with the stick while he was juggling knives. He swung low. Now, I'm on the ground holding my crotch. By some miracle, none of the knives find flesh. Mine, or other people's. It didn't even hurt that badly. I've been hit much harder in the balls. One of the ocupational hazards of being a mischievous troublemaker all my life. But it took me by surprise, and down I went. Now, all the parents are fussing over me. They're scolding the child. The kids are laughing. The clown is rubbing his crotch. What a party, huh?

A short time later, when the kid gives me a surly and forced apology, I say in my most non-chalant voice, "Don't worry, kid. I'll save my vengeance for when you're eighteen." Everybody laughed. Perhaps they thought I was joking. But I got his address... *nod*

Well, I just got home. When I checked the mail, there was an invitation inside. One of my best friends invited me and my wife to a party in two weeks. A Naked party! :eek: Now, being naked at a party is nothing new to me. But typically, I drink copious amounts of alcohol first. I don't know what to think of me and my friends(who like me, can behave very oddly under the effects of alcohol) and our significant others at a party where we START naked!

Now, my wife is sleeping. SHe has work tonight. little goofball is three feet to my left in his rocker and babbling incoherently. And I'm having a beer and wishing I could have ten so I could babble incoherently too. *sigh*


*In all seriousness, as long as little goofballs OK, then you should look over at him and smile*

*In all seriousness, as long as little goofballs OK, then you should look over at him and smile*

*does so* He gave me a raspberry. Heh. He's definitely my kid. :)

*does so* He gave me a raspberry. Heh. He's definitely my kid. :)

Cool enough. I will be getting married soon, and I hope to have the little hellraiser name Little jim too.


:)

I think I will throw a naked party at my new house in Vegas. Will you be the entertainment? Have you ever tried Naked Clowning? You can get drunk during your act... and wear a cup because I can't promise you that noone will hit you in the balls.

Cool enough. I will be getting married soon, and I hope to have the little hellraiser name Little jim too.


:)
A little advice: Get your sleep now while you can.

A little advice: Get your sleep now while you can.

Sleep? What the hell is that?

I think I will throw a naked party at my new house in Vegas. Will you be the entertainment? Have you ever tried Naked Clowning? You can get drunk during your act... and wear a cup because I can't promise you that noone will hit you in the balls.

I don't wear cups. But I may need to strike pre-emptively if I feel that any WGDs(Weapons of Groin Destruction) pose a threat to my security.

My only real question would be: How much of me to put make-up on. Hehehe.

Sleep? What the hell is that?

It's like a light coma.

I didn't sleep much either. I didn't realize how much I'd miss it.

I don't wear cups. But I may need to strike pre-emptively if I feel that any WGDs(Weapons of Groin Destruction) pose a threat to my security.

My only real question would be: How much of me to put make-up on. Hehehe.
whahaha

a big clown and a little clown... damn, now I'm picturing it :(

whahaha

a big clown and a little clown... damn, now I'm picturing it :(

Brilliant.

Lunatic Goofballs, I say you don't wear a cup so you can let the little goofballs swing freely... and of course paint a happy face on there.

The Dancing Clowns. :)

The Dancing Clowns. :)
If you'd work nights with that you'd really make some money :D

If you'd work nights with that you'd really make some money :D

That's how I paid my way through college.

That's how I paid my way through college.
Clown College? <:o)

Clown College? <:o)

Sort of. I have a degree in Physics. :D

Sort of. I have a degree in Physics. :D

No Kidding? How High?

*Smartasses ted to be smarter*

No Kidding? How High?

*Smartasses ted to be smarter*

Just a Bachelor's. I considered continuing my education, but my bank account vetoed me. *nod*

Just a Bachelor's. I considered continuing my education, but my bank account vetoed me. *nod*Well I have nothing more than two weeks in High-school, but I have educated myself since, and I do seem to be smarter than most.

Well I have nothing more than two weeks in High-school, but I have educated myself since, and I do seem to be smarter than most.

From what I've read over the past year, I'd agree. You've done well with self-education. Unfortunately, you've missed out on a lot of high school antics.

From what I've read over the past year, I'd agree. You've done well with self-education. Unfortunately, you've missed out on a lot of high school antics.


:p

No I didn't.

Jim

:p

No I didn't.

Jim

Oh?

Oh?

I didn't miss high-school hijinks, I just took it in different directions.
:eek:

jim

I didn't miss high-school hijinks, I just took it in different directions.
:eek:

jim

*pops some popcorn* Tell me more. :)

Wow, that's quite a day. I don't know exactly what to say. I'm glad the wee one is okay.

Man, I wish I could just follow you around with a video crew for a day, I'll make the bet that I could not only get rich by turning it into a show on comedy central but that I could watch it again and again and still laugh my arse off.

*pops some popcorn* Tell me more. :)


Most of my High school years were spent in A blue haze

Most of my High school years were spent in A blue haze

why blue?

why blue?

generally the colour of motorcycle smoke and weed
;)

Wow, that's quite a day. I don't know exactly what to say. I'm glad the wee one is okay.

Man, I wish I could just follow you around with a video crew for a day, I'll make the bet that I could not only get rich by turning it into a show on comedy central but that I could watch it again and again and still laugh my arse off.

One of my friends suggested that. Said we'd blow other reality shows away.

Sleep? What the hell is that?

It's an overrated cheap caffiene substitute.

It's an overrated cheap caffiene substitute.

Worst of all, you can't add cream and sugar. *pause* Well you CAN. ANd it'd be pretty funny. But would dramatically impact the refreshing qualities of that sleep.

Worst of all, you can't add cream and sugar. *pause* Well you CAN. ANd it'd be pretty funny. But would dramatically impact the refreshing qualities of that sleep.


Not to mention making poeple question your sleeping habit.

Well, I just got home. When I checked the mail, there was an invitation inside. One of my best friends invited me and my wife to a party in two weeks. A Naked party! :eek: Now, being naked at a party is nothing new to me. But typically, I drink copious amounts of alcohol first. I don't know what to think of me and my friends(who like me, can behave very oddly under the effects of alcohol) and our significant others at a party where we START naked!

Ok, I need to know what that invite said. I cannot imagine how you invite someone to a naked party. I assume its not just like

(PS: event will be completely naked)

"(Goofball and Mrs. Goofball),

You and your wife have been cordially invited to a clothing-free party to take place at 6:00pm on September 25th 2004. Attire upon arrival can be removed on the premises if desired. Refreshments and entertainment will be provided. Bring nothing."

It was the 'Bring Nothing' that really cracked me up. :)

"(Goofball and Mrs. Goofball),

You and your wife have been cordially invited to a clothing-free party to take place at 6:00pm on September 25th 2004. Attire upon arrival can be removed on the premises if desired. Refreshments and entertainment will be provided. Bring nothing."

It was the 'Bring Nothing' that really cracked me up. :)
Oh, I SO have to get some of those printed up. I'll give them out like buisness cards.


(You're right, its the "bring nothing" that makes it art)

little goofball is asleep. I'm awake. I'm wearing my party outfit. All is well. :)

Happy memories: the little one is now asleep, it is 4am and tomorrow is Saturday. I may now smoke a spliff and watch some random black & white comedy on the TV. :cool:

Sleep? What the hell is that?I've heard of this sleep thing too. Apparently it is some New-Agey biofeedback technique to replace caffiene. If I understand correctly, one finds a comfortable spot and lies down, thinking of nothing until higher brain functions cease and one enters a near death state. Personally I don't trust and will stick with the tried and true caffiene, but I have some friends who swear that sleep is almost as effective as caffiene.

I've heard of this sleep thing too. Apparently it is some New-Agey biofeedback technique to replace caffiene. If I understand correctly, one finds a comfortable spot and lies down, thinking of nothing until higher brain functions cease and one enters a near death state. Personally I don't trust and will stick with the tried and true caffiene, but I have some friends who swear that sleep is almost as effective as caffiene.

They Lie!

Sleep is what you do when you're dead I think.