NationStates Jolt Archive

Ah, another thread I'm gonna start that won't make it past the third page.

So, the Seinfeld fan has prompted some people to make "worst ever" comments, which even if you don't like the show a lot, isn't even close to true.

I submit my Champions of Bad:
Pink Lady and Jeff (http://www.tvparty.com/pink.html)
Find worse, I dare you!
The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-891/The_Secret_Diary_of_Desmond_Pfeiffer/)
Not good even without the trouble...

Short lived high-concept action shows of the eighties:
Manimal (http://www.tvtome.com/Manimal/)
The name says it all.
Automan (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-1921/)
Seriously.
Blue Thunder (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-3520/)
It was one of two Super Copter shows at the time. Crazy.
Street Hawk (http://www.tvtome.com/StreetHawk/)
We had something for super vehicles I guess. I think I watched this shows whole run. (I was a kid)

Now thats some bad tv. Top that.

Beauty and the Beast.

Beauty and the Beast.
Ah, but see Beauty and the Beast made it past it's half season (something the others didn't manage) and was even a bit of a cultural phenomenom (remember the women that said they'd kiss Vincent?) I'm not saying it's good, but it did manage to appeal to the checkout counter romance novel crowd. There was more than one frustrated housewife that was thinking of a sewer mutant while having otherwise mundane sex with thier unattentive husbands.

The Starland Vocal Band Show, featuring the singers of the famous all-time-worst one-hit-wonder Afternoon Delight.

Despite having Phil Procter and Peter Bergman (Firesign Theatre), Mark Russell (PBS political comedian) and David Letterman (in his first national gig), it ... how shall I say ... 'stunk on ice'.

Oh yeah, they also had Jeff Altman of Pink Lady and Jeff. Nyaaah.

Ah, but see Beauty and the Beast made it past it's half season (something the others didn't manage) and was even a bit of a cultural phenomenom (remember the women that said they'd kiss Vincent?) I'm not saying it's good, but it did manage to appeal to the checkout counter romance novel crowd. There was more than one frustrated housewife that was thinking of a sewer mutant while having otherwise mundane sex with thier unattentive husbands.
you have devoted far too much time to the ins and outs of crap tv my friend. If you had applied your efforts elsewhere you could have cured aids by now.

Ah, "Pink Lady and Jeff," what a dissappointment. Misses Nemota and Masuda are quite attractive young ladies, and I was a fan of their music when I was younger (this was in the mid '80s).

*grits teeth and closes his eyes, steeling himself to utter the foulness aloud...*

Beverly Hills 90210.

*washes mouth out with listerine*

The Starland Vocal Band Show, featuring the singers of the famous all-time-worst one-hit-wonder Afternoon Delight.

Despite having Phil Procter and Peter Bergman (Firesign Theatre), Mark Russell (PBS political comedian) and David Letterman (in his first national gig), it ... how shall I say ... 'stunk on ice'.

Oh yeah, they also had Jeff Altman of Pink Lady and Jeff. Nyaaah.That's pretty hard to top. I vaguely remember a tv special from my childhood starring Anson Williams--that's right, Potsy had a special with his wife. Even at my tender age, I knew that was crap.

you have devoted far too much time to the ins and outs of crap tv my friend. If you had applied your efforts elsewhere you could have cured aids by now.
This implies 'effort.' If I was an 'effort' kinda guy I wouldn't know this much about TV....

...and I still wouldn't have accomplished much.

Hey, someones gotta do this. I hope.

That's pretty hard to top. I vaguely remember a tv special from my childhood starring Anson Williams--that's right, Potsy had a special with his wife. Even at my tender age, I knew that was crap.
You're right, that is a toughee. I have to go to the Secret Weapon (http://www.timewarptv.com/site/programs/Star_Wars_Holiday_Special/) earlier than I thought.

I saw this tanker on a bootleg tape. The first five minutes is soapy dialog subtitled from Wookies. That's right, the Star Wars Holiday special where they have to get Chewy back to his family for Life Day or some such nonsense...

The linked sight has some clips.....brace yourselves.....

Ah, "Pink Lady and Jeff," what a dissappointment. Misses Nemota and Masuda are quite attractive young ladies, and I was a fan of their music when I was younger (this was in the mid '80s).
You always have the obligitory hot tub enders.....

I didn't know this until I read the site, but there is a Japanese tribute band to Pink Lady called Pink Lady X...you could live again through them....

Ah, another thread I'm gonna start that won't make it past the third page.

So, the Seinfeld fan has prompted some people to make "worst ever" comments, which even if you don't like the show a lot, isn't even close to true.

I submit my Champions of Bad:
Pink Lady and Jeff (http://www.tvparty.com/pink.html)
Find worse, I dare you!
The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-891/The_Secret_Diary_of_Desmond_Pfeiffer/)
Not good even without the trouble...

Short lived high-concept action shows of the eighties:
Manimal (http://www.tvtome.com/Manimal/)
The name says it all.
Automan (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-1921/)
Seriously.
Blue Thunder (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-3520/)
It was one of two Super Copter shows at the time. Crazy.
Street Hawk (http://www.tvtome.com/StreetHawk/)
We had something for super vehicles I guess. I think I watched this shows whole run. (I was a kid)

Now thats some bad tv. Top that.


"The Misfits of Science."

Weekly comedy/drama.
Aired around same time as "Manimal."

Can't decide between Walker Texas Ranger, Doc (that one with Billy Ray Cyruss) and Renegade. MULLET BATTLE!

You're right, that is a toughee. I have to go to the Secret Weapon (http://www.timewarptv.com/site/programs/Star_Wars_Holiday_Special/) earlier than I thought.

I saw this tanker on a bootleg tape. The first five minutes is soapy dialog subtitled from Wookies. That's right, the Star Wars Holiday special where they have to get Chewy back to his family for Life Day or some such nonsense...

The linked sight has some clips.....brace yourselves.....
Oooh. Now you're fighting dirty.

"The Misfits of Science. (http://www.tvtome.com/MisfitsofScience/)"

Weekly comedy/drama.
Aired around same time as "Manimal."
(link added)
Nice one!

[dork alert]I had a hard time establishing if it ripped off a equally crappy Marvel comic or the other way around....(remember the 'beyonder' universe they tried? C'mon, I was a kid...)

Oooh. Now you're fighting dirty.
Sorry. It was a scaring experience for me, though I laughed my ass off through the whole thing....

Sorry. It was a scaring experience for me, though I laughed my ass off through the whole thing....I could argue that Christmas specials are by their very nature craptacular, and so should therefore be left out of any discussion of this type, but that would just be a copout. I defer to you as the great master of this arena.

I could argue that Christmas specials are by their very nature craptacular, and so should therefore be left out of any discussion of this type, but that would just be a copout. I defer to you as the great master of this arena.
You're probably right, but how else was I going to beat out the Star Land thing....

except maybe The Brady Bunch Hour (http://www.tvtome.com/BradyBunchHour/), but once you open up the Sid & Marty Kroft programs, well-it's like a Pandora's Box of Cheese....

You're probably right, but how else was I going to beat out the Star Land thing....

except maybe The Brady Bunch Hour (http://www.tvtome.com/BradyBunchHour/), but once you open up the Sid & Marty Kroft programs, well-it's like a Pandora's Box of Cheese....
Damn you to hell! I had purged my memory of that awful thing, and now you bring it back into my memory. Pandora's Box of Velveeta is more like it. :D

Damn you to hell! I had purged my memory of that awful thing, and now you bring it back into my memory. Pandora's Box of Velveeta is more like it. :D
Sorry....

I didn't even know about The Brady Kids (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-3540/)

But once you start with cartoons you open the door to The Mr. T Cartoon (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-2410/Mister_T/) and Hammerman (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-3607/Hammerman/)....

Ah, another thread I'm gonna start that won't make it past the third page.

So, the Seinfeld fan has prompted some people to make "worst ever" comments, which even if you don't like the show a lot, isn't even close to true.

I submit my Champions of Bad:
Pink Lady and Jeff (http://www.tvparty.com/pink.html)
Find worse, I dare you!
The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-891/The_Secret_Diary_of_Desmond_Pfeiffer/)
Not good even without the trouble...

Short lived high-concept action shows of the eighties:
Manimal (http://www.tvtome.com/Manimal/)
The name says it all.
Automan (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-1921/)
Seriously.
Blue Thunder (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-3520/)
It was one of two Super Copter shows at the time. Crazy.
Street Hawk (http://www.tvtome.com/StreetHawk/)
We had something for super vehicles I guess. I think I watched this shows whole run. (I was a kid)

Now thats some bad tv. Top that.

Dallas
Denver Clan
General Hospital

Oh, Yeah. Our little Farm

Oh, and last but not least Musikantenstadl

I don't know if you have ever heard of it, but 2 hours of german Volksmusik Is the worst thing I ever had to endure, I couldn't even change the channel because my grandma wanted to see that (I regularly get sick of even thinking of that stuff)

*grits teeth and closes his eyes, steeling himself to utter the foulness aloud...*

Beverly Hills 90210.

*washes mouth out with listerine*
lol, forgot that too

Anything that's spewed out on Fox News Channel (or should I say Faux?).

Playing it Straight

It involves a woman and several guys. Half the guys are gay. Each week she eliminates one guy. If the guy she picks at the end of the show is straight, she gets A$100 000 (US$69 000). If the guy is gay, he gets the prize money. So it's full of gay guys pretending to be straight.


Thank goodness it's on at the same time as SVU, so I don't have to watch it at all.

you dont know from bad tv

the donny and marie show (the variety show from the 70s)


featuring those 2 sweet osmond kids

Small Wonder

'nuff said.

Playing it Straight

It involves a woman and several guys. Half the guys are gay. Each week she eliminates one guy. If the guy she picks at the end of the show is straight, she gets A$100 000 (US$69 000). If the guy is gay, he gets the prize money. So it's full of gay guys pretending to be straight.


Thank goodness it's on at the same time as SVU, so I don't have to watch it at all.
Like 90% of american reality shows, we have ripped this one off. I don't even know that we changed the name. Reality shows are another can of worms...right now we have such stinkers as Amish in the City (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-28781/) where Amish spend their Rumpringa (the time they spend in the 'outside' world) in a Real World setting with five of the shallowest....well it is SoCal.....I'm convinced that reality shows at this point exist to demonstrate that people are ruled by the basest impulses, but only a certain kind of person volunteers for that nonsense. I feel bad for the Amish because they don't have any idea about media or whats happening to them. (I'm not saying they think that TV is a 'talking demon box,' I'm saying they aren't jaded by being raised by it.

The rest of you:
You aren't trying hard enough. If the show made it through it's first season it more than likely doesn't compete. Follow some of those links, especially the one for Pink Lady and Jeff (http://www.tvparty.com/pink.html) and click on the clip of Pink Lady singing "If You Could See Me Now" during what appears to be a production of Jesus Christ Superstar...or the link to the The Star Wars Holiday Special (http://www.timewarptv.com/site/programs/Star_Wars_Holiday_Special/) with the audio clip of Carrie Fischer singing the holiday song. badbadbadbadbadbad

....or like this: Cop Rock (http://www.televisionheaven.co.uk/coprock.htm)....I was hoping to find a link with clips, but this link includes some rather disturbing revalations...like it cost $1.8 MILLION an episode!!!! And it's not just some schlop that did this to america, it's Steven Bochco, the guy behind Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue...

I don't know if you have ever heard of it, but 2 hours of german Volksmusik Is the worst thing I ever had to endure, I couldn't even change the channel because my grandma wanted to see that You and me both, man. You and me both. This particular episode had Anton from Tirol or DJ Ötzi or whatever his name is, as a special guest.

Ugh.

all reality TV
all televangelist broadcasts
any of peppy little Kirk Cameron's appearances on PAX, Trinity Broadcasting Network, etc.
game shows on Spanish-speaking stations
low-budget Mexican traficante movies(these seem to be made at a rate of several dozen a day)
any and all PBS broadcasts of motivational speakers, self-help gurus, etc.

There's a whole alternative, disturbingly seedy underworld of this stuff...

The reality tv comment shocked this one back into my memory--The Littlest Groom. (http://www.thelittlestgroom.com/) I'm ashamed to say that I know someone who watched it--didn't watch it myself, but the guilt by association is damning enough.

The reality tv comment shocked this one back into my memory--The Littlest Groom. (http://www.thelittlestgroom.com/) I'm ashamed to say that I know someone who watched it--didn't watch it myself, but the guilt by association is damning enough.
Man thats bad, but if you have a lingering hope for humanity left, you should click their casting (http://www.lmnotv.com/broadband/nowcasting/) page.

My favorite on that page is Fire Me Please.......will this infringe on Donald's attmept to copywright "You're Fired"......

hmmm, bad tv eh?

most anything on nickelodian in the past uhh 5 years?
if we are counting cartoons:
2 stupid dogs, ed,edd,and eddy.

the last show they tried to put andy richter on after fucking him in the ass by canceling andy richter rules the universe.

o'reilly factor and whatever the hell sean hannity's show is

kids in the hall. some sci fi show i cant remember sci fi had on before tremors.

all reality shows that are not the real world or road rules made after survivor 1


who wants to be a millionaire after season 1,

hmmm, bad tv eh?

most anything on nickelodian in the past uhh 5 years?
if we are counting cartoons:
2 stupid dogs, ed,edd,and eddy.

the last show they tried to put andy richter on after fucking him in the ass by canceling andy richter rules the universe.

o'reilly factor and whatever the hell sean hannity's show is

kids in the hall. some sci fi show i cant remember sci fi had on before tremors.

all reality shows that are not the real world or road rules made after survivor 1


who wants to be a millionaire after season 1,
Really not trying hard enough (You may not have liked Kids in the Hall (weirdo, but to each thier own...), but that doesn't put it on par with the likes of the truly horrible)

Sci-Fi Channel can be like the mens room of an high traffic gas station as far as horrible goes. Riverworld (http://www.scifi.com/onair/scifipictures/riverworld/) comes to mind...by the bastard that brought us The Crow and Dark City (a movie I desperately wanted to like.)

Though looking at the link, it won a Saturn nomination somehow.....I'll admit ignorance as to what that is, but HOW did it win that stupid thing...nomination, whatever....

Anyway, try harder is all I'm saying.

I'll tell you a Sci-Fi miniseries I desperately wanted to like, and actually did until the last installment, and that was Dune. The first episode was damn good, the second started to slip, and by the third I was throwing popcorn at the screen. God did it turn into a turd.

On the other hand, their remake and retooling of Battlestar Galactica was one I really liked.

Really not trying hard enough (You may not have liked Kids in the Hall (weirdo, but to each thier own...), but that doesn't put it on par with the likes of the truly horrible)

Sci-Fi Channel can be like the mens room of an high traffic gas station as far as horrible goes. Riverworld (http://www.scifi.com/onair/scifipictures/riverworld/) comes to mind...by the bastard that brought us The Crow and Dark City (a movie I desperately wanted to like.)

Though looking at the link, it won a Saturn nomination somehow.....I'll admit ignorance as to what that is, but HOW did it win that stupid thing...nomination, whatever....

Anyway, try harder is all I'm saying.
kids in the hall is pretty bad but i dont watch that much TV, not that much varied

and most stuff on sci fi is decent and i liked the crow damnit, i jsut cant remember the name of this one show

I'll tell you a Sci-Fi miniseries I desperately wanted to like, and actually did until the last installment, and that was Dune. The first episode was damn good, the second started to slip, and by the third I was throwing popcorn at the screen. God did it turn into a turd.

On the other hand, their remake and retooling of Battlestar Galactica was one I really liked.
I'm with you on that last one, I thought it was incredibly executed. At the time I heard rumours that NBC had picked it up as a series, but I haven't heard anything since. I'm gonna have to chase that down again.

I'm with you on that last one, I thought it was incredibly executed. At the time I heard rumours that NBC had picked it up as a series, but I haven't heard anything since. I'm gonna have to chase that down again.
I'd certainly tune into it if it did turn into a recurring series, as long as the cast stayed largely the same--I wouldn't want Olmos or McDonnell replaced. Well, and assuming that San Francisco gets an NBC broadcast affiliate. Don't have cable anymore, so I'm limited to Fox (b&w--poor reception), CBS (fuzzy), ABC, PBS, the WB, UPN, PBS-Asian version, some shopping channel and a Spanish language channel--and if you're looking for pure hilarity, watch a kung-fu movie overdubbed into Spanish sometime. Trust me on that.

I'd certainly tune into it if it did turn into a recurring series, as long as the cast stayed largely the same--I wouldn't want Olmos or McDonnell replaced. Well, and assuming that San Francisco gets an NBC broadcast affiliate. Don't have cable anymore, so I'm limited to Fox (b&w--poor reception), CBS (fuzzy), ABC, PBS, the WB, UPN, PBS-Asian version, some shopping channel and a Spanish language channel--and if you're looking for pure hilarity, watch a kung-fu movie overdubbed into Spanish sometime. Trust me on that.
That last one sounds quality. Channel 11 I think is supposed to by NBC in the bay area. Sometimes I was able to get Channel 8 out of Salinas, which was good for getting Fishmasters (on the subject of bad tv, but I loved it. I even interviewed the creator)

Well, I've got mixed news. It is going to be a series with the same creator (who also created Carnivale on HBO) and it starts in January, BUT it's on SciFi. Olmos will return, though I don't know about the rest. Richard Hatch will guest.

Ooooh--fishing shows are classic, and speaking of local programming, California Gold with Huell Howser is at the pinnacle of local cheesy programming. I got to meet him a couple of weeks ago when I went to Sloughtown(?) between Davis and Sacramento for the hops harvest. He was doing a special on the harvest of the hops we'll be using in our Christmas Ale this year, and is apparently going to be doing the brewery later this year as well. Let's just say that he's a legend in his own mind.

Ooooh--fishing shows are classic, and speaking of local programming, California Gold with Huell Howser is at the pinnacle of local cheesy programming. I got to meet him a couple of weeks ago when I went to Sloughtown(?) between Davis and Sacramento for the hops harvest. He was doing a special on the harvest of the hops we'll be using in our Christmas Ale this year, and is apparently going to be doing the brewery later this year as well. Let's just say that he's a legend in his own mind.
You should check out The Fishmasters (http://www.etropolis.com/fishmasters/fishtop.htm) (I just found out that site existed!!!!! I'm as excited as a....well you get it....)

Mmmmmm local television talent......apparently there is only one actress here in Santa Cruz and she's in all the damn tv ads. Seems odd, because I was just knee deep in equity actors all summer.....but oh well. When I was in High School Band we purposfully drowned out a local sports caster with (what else?) Wipeout. He was kinda an ass.....

You see, I'm anonymous here so when I go begging these people for a job soon they won't know I just capped on all of them......man, I got start remembering which side is buttered....

I didn't really have anything else to add, but dammit, I want to get this to a fourth page for you CTOAN, so I'll throw in the US version of Coupling as another example of utterly horrible television. The British show is absolutely brilliant--the US show sucked pus-ridden donkey dong.

I didn't really have anything else to add, but dammit, I want to get this to a fourth page for you CTOAN, so I'll throw in the US version of Coupling as another example of utterly horrible television. The British show is absolutely brilliant--the US show sucked pus-ridden donkey dong.
I don't know if it counts if I account for half the posts, but I'll take it if I can get it.

Speaking of recent stinkers:
Birds of Prey (http://www.tvtome.com/BirdsofPrey/)
Batman and Catwoman had a baby and the she grew up to be a turkey.

EDIT: Regarding Coupling: It's an example of how bad execs can miss the point (ah, the butter problem...). The formula wasn't Friends that have had sex, it was the nature of the story telling. Something under appriciatted in that show that I suddenly forgot the name of....staring the guy from Tao of Steve....dammit....Grounded for Life, thats it.

It's why I hope that no one will try to do an american The Office. Too well told to be improv.

You're right, that is a toughee. I have to go to the Secret Weapon (http://www.timewarptv.com/site/programs/Star_Wars_Holiday_Special/) earlier than I thought.

I saw this tanker on a bootleg tape. The first five minutes is soapy dialog subtitled from Wookies. That's right, the Star Wars Holiday special where they have to get Chewy back to his family for Life Day or some such nonsense...

The linked sight has some clips.....brace yourselves.....
Noooooo!!!!! Not the Star Wars Holiday Special!!! They had the biggest wookie of them all, Bea Arthur...'nuff said.

Then again, the post-Seinfeld Kramer show was REALLY bad.

I'll make a prediction here--although I don't think I'm going out on a limb. The new Friends spin off, Joey, will suck ass. It will suck big-time ass. It will suck the Nell Carter of ass.

Noooooo!!!!! Not the Star Wars Holiday Special!!! They had the biggest wookie of them all, Bea Arthur...'nuff said.

Then again, the post-Seinfeld Kramer show was REALLY bad.
Oooooh....spin offs. That opens a whole new can of worms......

Like After M*A*S*H (http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/tv/drama/aftermash.htm)
and
Fish (http://www.tvtome.com/Fish/)
Though in fairness I never saw Fish and I did think he was the best character on Barney Miller...and it did make it to a second season.

I'll make a prediction here--although I don't think I'm going out on a limb. The new Friends spin off, Joey, will suck ass. It will suck big-time ass. It will suck the Nell Carter of ass.
Woo Hoo!!! Four pages!!!! I don't think thats ever happened, not even in my early Pirates vs Ninjas thread...thanks Incertonia!!!! (and other posters)

Yeah, Joey is going to suck. I'm not a fair witness, I did not like Friends.....

Neither did I, but I recognized that it had some redeeming features--not many, but it had some. This spinoff, though--whew, the stench coming off it is feedlot quality.

I'd forgotten about AfterMASH, mercifully, and I vaguely remember liking Fish, but I was quite young at the time.

Woo Hoo!!! Four pages!!!! I don't think thats ever happened, not even in my early Pirates vs Ninjas thread...thanks Incertonia!!!! (and other posters)

Yeah, Joey is going to suck. I'm not a fair witness, I did not like Friends.....
Got to listen in to Joey (wife was watching while I was doing actual paying work on the laptop.) Not much to say about it, but the prognosis isn't good.

Another spin-off that has a stench: Star Trek: Enterprise. Really, do we need ANOTHER Star Trek show? And who cares who commanded the Enterprise before James Tiberius Kirk? (by the way, who the heck names a child Tiberius in the 24th century???)

Got to listen in to Joey (wife was watching while I was doing actual paying work on the laptop.) Not much to say about it, but the prognosis isn't good.

Another spin-off that has a stench: Star Trek: Enterprise. Really, do we need ANOTHER Star Trek show? And who cares who commanded the Enterprise before James Tiberius Kirk? (by the way, who the heck names a child Tiberius in the 24th century???)
enterprise isnt that bad, though the weapon scheme doesnt make sense. they go from advanced guns (enterprise is a prequel yeah), to crappy guns, to remote controls. did i miss something somewhere?

and enterprise is worth watching just for t'pao

Got to listen in to Joey (wife was watching while I was doing actual paying work on the laptop.) Not much to say about it, but the prognosis isn't good.

Another spin-off that has a stench: Star Trek: Enterprise. Really, do we need ANOTHER Star Trek show? And who cares who commanded the Enterprise before James Tiberius Kirk? (by the way, who the heck names a child Tiberius in the 24th century???)
Enterprise has grown on me, but I wish to god they'd dump that horrible theme song. Still, I think that when this one ends, that'll be all for a few years. It's getting harder and harder to find an audience for the shows now.

Enterprise has grown on me, but I wish to god they'd dump that horrible theme song. Still, I think that when this one ends, that'll be all for a few years. It's getting harder and harder to find an audience for the shows now.
I can't cap on Enterprise because of the butter issue....not that I think he reads this or knows this is me, but I have to practice staying possitive about that show....anyway.....

Nope, can't do it-the theme is lame. No singing in Star Trek themes. I used to say that they should all have naration when DS9 came out, but a friend shamed me by pointing out that they would have to say "It's mission, to boldly stand by as everyone else goes where....." I do like that they spend half of their time bumping around, screwing up and offending people. Less self-rightous nobility in the show...
Here's what I came for:
More bad-
Legend of the Superheroes (http://imdb.com/title/tt0131675/)So bad, I thought I imagined it. So bad, even TV Tome doesn't have it listed. Bad. And I watched it. Hawkman's costume was terrible, worse than his superhero concept.
This site (http://madhattervcd.tripod.com/id7.html) has some more info as well as some Wonder Woman summaries and apparantly a source to get some of them......no, I don't know why....

Here's what I came for:
More bad-
Legend of the Superheroes (http://imdb.com/title/tt0131675/)So bad, I thought I imagined it. So bad, even TV Tome doesn't have it listed. Bad. And I watched it. Hawkman's costume was terrible, worse than his superhero concept.Was this live-action? There's no poster, and I certainly don't remember any of it, but it sounds atrocious. Reminds me of Captain America. (http://imdb.com/title/tt0078937/)

And I didn't see this one, but it sounds even worse. (http://imdb.com/title/tt0078938/) Captain America versus Dracula?

Was this live-action? There's no poster, and I certainly don't remember any of it, but it sounds atrocious. Reminds me of Captain America. (http://imdb.com/title/tt0078937/)

And I didn't see this one, but it sounds even worse. (http://imdb.com/title/tt0078938/) Captain America versus Dracula?
What about the Bionic Dog? Two words: "woof woof."

I remember a Disney movie about a bionic dog--had to look it up. C.H.O.M.P.S. (http://imdb.com/title/tt0078924/) Sucked pretty bad too as I recall, but not in the Captain America v. Dracula League.

Anyone else remember The Man from Atlantis?

Was this live-action? There's no poster, and I certainly don't remember any of it, but it sounds atrocious. Reminds me of Captain America. (http://imdb.com/title/tt0078937/)

And I didn't see this one, but it sounds even worse. (http://imdb.com/title/tt0078938/) Captain America versus Dracula?
Oh yeah it was live action-and HORRIBLE (the other link has photos, but it also has pop-ups....)

Stupid trivia? My home town is in that first Captain America. (Folsom Dam). Sad little town.....
The second I never heard of, and yet I still get shudders.....

I remember a Disney movie about a bionic dog--had to look it up. C.H.O.M.P.S. (http://imdb.com/title/tt0078924/) Sucked pretty bad too as I recall, but not in the Captain America v. Dracula League.

Anyone else remember The Man from Atlantis?
Oh yeah, Man from Atlantis (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-600/The_Man_From_Atlantis/) qualifies....another one that I watched the whole run. How much?

I had a friend who was a good swimmer, swim team style good swimmer. I was in his pool doing the snak-ey kick swim of the man from atlantis and he noticed it was the kick for the butterfly stroke, so he taught me the arm part. I did that stroke in swim team until I went idle after my freshman year in high school because I was one of three people who could do it. Hey, sixth is one point. One point mattered.....

EDIT: I just read the C.H.O.M.P.S. link, I especially like the 'detects crimes' function.....

We're headed for five pages here, so I can't let it go. I've got to just throw in a general category here--after-school specials. That ought to do it.

We're headed for five pages here, so I can't let it go. I've got to just throw in a general category here--after-school specials. That ought to do it.
That opens the door to the classic Angel Dusted (http://imdb.com/title/tt0082019/) staring Helen Hunt flying out a window. Classic. Just classic...

hack//sign or whatever the hell it's called. Stupid kids' anime. It's basically a bunch of morons playing a roleplaying game on the internet, and they all take it painfully seriously.

And there's the show where they exploit the midgets.

That opens the door to the classic Angel Dusted (http://imdb.com/title/tt0082019/) staring Helen Hunt flying out a window. Classic. Just classic...
How do you do this?

This thread reminds me why I don't watch tv.

How do you do this?
Partially it's the same as if we did a bad poets thread, you'd be able to find all kinds of references becuase your used to doing it for school, but mostly it's because....sadly....

I was raised by my tv.

This thread reminds me why I don't watch tv.
No shit. It's not like bad tv is the exception, after all. :D

No shit. It's not like bad tv is the exception, after all. :D
hey hey-you guys are talking about my uncle....Uncle TV.

reality tv :sniper:

hey hey-you guys are talking about my uncle....Uncle TV.
I know, but hell, every family has an uncle they're not exactly proud of, right? That uncle that everyone wishes would miss the family reunion once in a while? That uncle who gets great joy out of tickling you till you piss yourself?

Okay, perhaps I've said more than I should have.

By the way, CTOAN, we're pushing six pages now. We get through the sixth and you'll get on of those "last page" icons on the thread. Won't it be cool?

I know, but hell, every family has an uncle they're not exactly proud of, right? That uncle that everyone wishes would miss the family reunion once in a while? That uncle who gets great joy out of tickling you till you piss yourself?

Okay, perhaps I've said more than I should have.

By the way, CTOAN, we're pushing six pages now. We get through the sixth and you'll get on of those "last page" icons on the thread. Won't it be cool?
I daren't dream....!!!!

I wish I could remember the breakdancer after school special....where it was a secret anonymous breaker that turned out to be a chick...

Wow--that sounds beyond bad.

Wow--that sounds beyond bad.
Oh yeah, it was bad. Crazy bad.

I didn't see this (http://imdb.com/title/tt0323810/), but I take offense to it anyway....

I nominate all soaps in general all of them :mp5:

Coronation Street.

Oh, and anything starring Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen--especially once they got older and started trying to actually act.

Anybody here think Fox News is bad TV?

It's hard to compete with an Olsen's twins show, and I'm running out of secret weapons.

Under my own criteria, this show (Tripping the Rift (http://www.scifi.com/tripping/) doesn't really qualify because, inexplicably, it's been picked up for a second season. But, since I took a class with the consultant on this show who introduced it to us as the worst show ever, I'm going to allow it.

It does get extra points for the first episode having the characters go back in time to the begining of the universe to see if god exists and accidently running him over...

Well, all the Olsen twins shows lasted more than one season, but that doesn't keep them from being horrifically bad tv, in my opinion. I mean, Everybody Loves Raymond is pure excrement on a stick and somehow it manages to not only stick around, but to garner high ratings. Go figure.

Wooooo!!! Six pages!!!

So as not to be useless, I give you All American Girl (http://www.tvtome.com/AllAmericanGirl/). Cho is still pissed about this one to this day.

I don't blame her--it was a piece of crap. What about the show that Julia Louis Dreyfus tried after Seinfeld went off the air? It didn't last long either.

Well, all the Olsen twins shows lasted more than one season, but that doesn't keep them from being horrifically bad tv, in my opinion. I mean, Everybody Loves Raymond is pure excrement on a stick and somehow it manages to not only stick around, but to garner high ratings. Go figure.
As far as shows that are inexplicably popular dispite being horrible, my vote has to go to Sex in the City...when even nudity can't make something watchable....man.....but I realise that not everyone feels that way about the show....why I don't know....

I don't blame her--it was a piece of crap. What about the show that Julia Louis Dreyfus tried after Seinfeld went off the air? It didn't last long either.
Yeah, Cho was screwed.

Nice-we could open a special ward for Post Sienfeld failures. There'd be Bob Paterson (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-3401/Bob_Patterson/), Watching Ellie (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-5810/Watching_Ellie/), and The Micheal Richards Show (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-23/The_Michael_Richards_Show/)


Everyone credits the cast of Seinfeld for the success, and yet the only one to survive was one of the creators (Control Your Enthusiasm)....writers get no respect...sniffle....

Yeah, Cho was screwed.

Nice-we could open a special ward for Post Sienfeld failures. There'd be Bob Paterson (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-3401/Bob_Patterson/), Watching Ellie (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-5810/Watching_Ellie/), and The Micheal Richards Show (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-23/The_Michael_Richards_Show/)


Everyone credits the cast of Seinfeld for the success, and yet the only one to survive was one of the creators (Control Your Enthusiasm)....writers get no respect...sniffle....
Ain't it the truth? It's not all that unusual, though, for individual actors to tank when they get outside an ensemble that works well together. Look at Cheers--Frasier was the rare spinoff that in some ways, out-acheived its predecessor, but outside of Woody Harrelson and Ted Danson, who's done anything worthwhile (and it's iffy on Danson--I mean, Becker?).

This took me a while to find because I couldn't remember the name, but remembering watching tv while I was working as a projectionist brought this to the fringes of memory (btw, anyone looking for a laugh should spend some time tooling around the list of vampire related films and tv on imdb.com....man)
Kindred: The Embraced (http://www.tvtome.com/KindredtheEmbraced/). Now, I'm not going to say anything bad about gamers (paper and pencil RPGers), but if you're gonna do a show based on one of those games, you might want to think carefully about it......(the show was based on the popular Vampire the Masquerade role-playing game...and no, I don't know why. and yes, I did watch it. I only got one channel at the time......)

Anybody remember Sledge Hammer?
http://www.sledgehammeronline.com/

Hardball, Matthews is the single worst interviewer/host on the planet.

Hardball, Matthews is the single worst interviewer/host on the planet.
Even worse than Joe Scarborough?

Trust me, if Matthews is going to be the poster child for liberal journalism, you guys have nothing to worry about.

Anybody remember Sledge Hammer?
http://www.sledgehammeronline.com/
Now I'm convinced that there is a website for everything!!! You have to admire the dedication to make a website for that show......

I think I remember that show, and what's worse, I think I remember liking it. I love this bit from the website: The purpose of this site is to unite "Hammerheads" around the world, creating a formidable army of men, women, children and barnyard animals who'll wrest their will on society and plunder all those who don't share our same misguided beliefs.

Sorry, I've just described the Republican Party.Classy.

This took for ever to find, I started to think I dreamed it:
Wishman (http://imdb.com/title/tt0424569/), however all that link will do is verify that I didn't make this up:

The story is that some lab geneticly engineers a bulbuos fingered cousin to ET who can make things move and other plot convinence powers somehow for some reason. Of course, the people who made him want to use him for nefarious reasons but have made the traditional mistake of making thier genetic weapon/tool good natured. So it's up to an Eliot-type to save him and go on the run....

again, I am not making this up. Really.

Ooooh, I just remembered this one. (http://www.jumptheshark.com/t/talesofthegoldmonkey.htm) Tales of the Lost Monkey, a sort of Indiana Jones knockoff. Yummy, horrible goodness.

And I'll tell you another one that I loved as a kid but didn't age well--Max Headroom. Loved that show, but saw it a couple of years ago and god was it bad.

Ooooh, I just remembered this one. (http://www.jumptheshark.com/t/talesofthegoldmonkey.htm) Tales of the Lost Monkey, a sort of Indiana Jones knockoff. Yummy, horrible goodness.

And I'll tell you another one that I loved as a kid but didn't age well--Max Headroom. Loved that show, but saw it a couple of years ago and god was it bad.
I loved that show!!!! I wanted (no, still want...) one of those planes!!! I remember the crusty mechanic guy and the cabana-style thingy...I really like that stupid show....

I was trying to avoid Max Headroom:20 Minutes into the Future because of the cult following, but yeah, it kinda sucked...

Big plate of cookies for someone who can remember this show so I don't feel like I'm crazy:
Around the same time Riptide (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-702/) came out (vietnam vets as detectives with an old helicopter as their signature ride) that was about salvagers who solved crimes for some reason....I cannot remember the name for the life of me....

EDIT: I added a link to Riptide, because even though it went four seasons you only need to read the summary to see how it qualifies.

and oh yeah WOO HOO, seven pages!!

Ooooh--Riptide. What was that show with Hulk Hogan--Thunder in Paradise? Yikes.

And you thought there wouldn't be enough interest in this subject to get beyond 3 pages. Bad tv is life, man! Life!

Also--what about The Fall Guy? The only thing that had going for it was Heather Thomas.

Oh man-Thunder in Paradise........words can't describe.....brings to mind Viper (http://www.tvtome.com/Viper/)...can't get enough of supervehicle shows......

I am remiss, REMISS I say, for forgetting this little turd:
The Master (http://www.tvtome.com/Master/) starring Lee Van Cleef......now here's the scary. As a young teen in the eighties, I had a ninja thing like all good teens in the early eighties. So I watched this....crap....a lot. I did not have a cowboy thing, so this was my first exposure to poor ol' Lee.....which made The Good, the Bad and the Ugly a hard sell initially.

This show is sooooooo bad, it was done on MST3K.....(where they made fun of the ninja masks ability to eleminate Cleefs belly.

I'm probably spelling his last name wrong...sorry to the fans.....

Man, the world owes you a debt of gratitude--watching the world's worst tv shows, so the rest of us don't have to.

Speaking of martial arts show, what about Kung Fu: the Return or whatever it was called? It can't just be me--there has to have been a marked increase in the badness of television since cable channels started making their own shows.

Speaking of martial arts show, what about Kung Fu: the Return or whatever it was called? It can't just be me--there has to have been a marked increase in the badness of television since cable channels started making their own shows.
Sadly this flush down the toilet started before cable started really taking up with it. The real culprit is Star Trek:The Next Generation which was an independently syndicated show that was sold in first run to local stations that had the audacity to be profitable. Never mind it was tapping the biggest franchise on the planet, after that everyone thought they could do it, which leads us down the slippery slope to Thunder in Paradise and Kung Fu: The Legend Continues (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-813/), which is just bad in a almost-have-to-write-a-paper to explain it, because not only was it poorly executed but it was a continuation of a travisty. Carridine is not chinese, dammit. It would fuck with me when I watched the original show because I would keep thinking, "Why do they call him chinaman?" damn. And of course the show was supposed to start Bruce Lee, but he was too chinese and....

all right, I'll stop....

Man, the world owes you a debt of gratitude--watching the world's worst tv shows, so the rest of us don't have to.
I do what I can....

There have been decent cable shows--La Femme Nikita was one, and Monk is brilliant, and I'll even admit to a liking for Highlander because I like swordfighting, but for the most part, it's just utter shit. A friend of mine just asked me in an email what my favorite tv shows are, and I answered with a British comedy and two cartoons--how sad is that?

There have been decent cable shows--La Femme Nikita was one, and Monk is brilliant, and I'll even admit to a liking for Highlander because I like swordfighting, but for the most part, it's just utter shit. A friend of mine just asked me in an email what my favorite tv shows are, and I answered with a British comedy and two cartoons--how sad is that?
I liked the notion of the day to day life of an immortal who had to behead people now and then, and the sliding morality scale he had because everyone around him had truncated lifespans and he didn't view them the same way, but mostly I liked sword fighting and that it came on the tv while I was working.....

If you said The Office, thats just a good damn show.

In all fairness to the list, I should add The Greatest American Hero (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-586/), it's theme was more popular than the show. Another inversion, I knew the Maxwell guy in that before I, Spy.

Of course, Hanniball was Hanniball long before he was the guy who was supposed to be gay in Breakfast at Tiffany's

I actually haven't seen The Office yet, though it looks interesting. I was talking about the UK version of Coupling which is brilliant in my opinion. It's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. Jeff Murdoch is perhaps the funniest character in television history.

I remember the Greatest American Hero too--I could probably sing the majority of the theme to you right now, if you were here and I were less drunk. :D

I actually haven't seen The Office yet, though it looks interesting. I was talking about the UK version of Coupling which is brilliant in my opinion. It's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. Jeff Murdoch is perhaps the funniest character in television history.

I remember the Greatest American Hero too--I could probably sing the majority of the theme to you right now, if you were here and I were less drunk. :D
I imagine that you'd have to be more drunk...;)
If I was higher (or high at all) I could probably join in that song.

EDIT:I apparently don't know how to do the smiley deally bobs...
EDIT II: Figured it out.

Look at what's happened to meeeeeeeee
I can't believe it myself
Suddenly I'm on top of the world
It should have been somebody else
dah dah dah dah dah

Believe it or not, I'm walking on air
I never thought I could feel so freeeeeee
Flying away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it beeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Believe it or not it's just me.....

Not bad after a bottle of wine and a six pack, huh?

Look at what's happened to meeeeeeeee
I can't believe it myself
Suddenly I'm on top of the world
It should have been somebody else
dah dah dah dah dah

Believe it or not, I'm walking on air
I never thought I could feel so freeeeeee
Flying away on a wing and a prayer
Who could it beeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Believe it or not it's just me.....

Not bad after a bottle of wine and a six pack, huh?
http://photography.oliverwen.de/img/photo/lowres/lighter.jpg
WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

For some reason when I think of that show I always remember the FBI guys catch phrase "What's the scenario, counselor?"

I don't know why....

I looked up the star of that show on imdb.com and he's still working....strange.....

There's no logic behind who gets work. I decided that after Robert Urich starred in his fifth or sixth tv show.

Speaking of Urich, remember Vega$? A detective named Dantana who always wore a sportcoat with leather patches on the elbows in Las Vegas. Beyond dumb.

There's no logic behind who gets work. I decided that after Robert Urich starred in his fifth or sixth tv show.

Speaking of Urich, remember Vega$? A detective named Dantana who always wore a sportcoat with leather patches on the elbows in Las Vegas. Beyond dumb.
Oh yeah. That was part of my no cable local station rerun regular tv, along with Canon (or as my friend calls it, Big big man, Little little gun...) and Streets of San Francisco.

Which brings to mind:
Hardcastle & McCormick (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-1894/)....(I think it's classic that the shot on the site is the 'Coyote' jumping...which they would call 'the Porsche,' but that kit was based on a McLaren race car....you see, I'm a car geek too......

edit: I just read the first episode synopsis (http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/GuidePageServlet/showid-1894/epid-73020/)....oh man. I wasn't aware how bad it was....

bonus: The Duel is on TNT right now....

I so remember Hardcastle and McCormick. Scary bad.

Interesting side note on Streets of San Francisco. It was flimed here, of course, and it was one of Der Gobernator's first tv appearances. He played a bodybuilder/brewery worker, and they filmed at the brewery where I am currently employed. Some of my co-workers were in the background of the shots filmed there.