NationStates Jolt Archive

to you, i gave you my sun shine,
bright like the moon at times,
destroyed by slaps, the kicks of a spoiled brat,
lick my ass and kiss me goodbye
last thing i say must be goodbye,
rhyme out of space i run into a wall,
your insecurity kills and scars your fault no future,
for us your fault no more bruises regardless of intent,
******* the time is past, due bills are late pay the sins of a few,
to you i say good bye, with love;oh and at least i never hit you.
Chris love always, in a knot. my heart stands still.

1.) dude, this is not the place for you to vent about your fuking girl.(but its okay)

2.) ummm....it sucks.

3.) i liked it somewhat.

4.) *yawn*

The poem was adequete but it lacks passion.


Seriously, is this what goes on every weekday at 11:11 pm PST?

The poem was adequete but it lacks passion.


Seriously, is this what goes on every weekday at 11:11 pm PST?
hmm, thanks for the feedback.

Not to bad, but too personal. Poetry is about the feeling involved, not the persons.

I wish the old poets thread was still around, but alas, things must change.

Jim

well it was more of a rough draft song,letter to her then a "poem" but i get your point, ty :D