NationStates Jolt Archive

You know those shirts that have weird sayings, like "It's all fun and games until someone loses a weiner"? You guys have any funny ideas for shirt sayings?

Here's one of mine. It reflects what the kind of people that wear those shirts are thinking, with a bit of my humor involved:

"I'm not weird, you're just staring at me"

AHAHAHA THAT'S FUNNY

OMGWTFLMFAOROFL!!!!!

In Latin: "If you can read this, you paid way too much for you education"

"I'm in Bomb Squad, if you see me running, try to keep up"
"I'm the president, if you see me running, try to keep up"

"I'm in Bomb Squad, if you see me running, try to keep up"
"I'm creative, try to keep up."

...

How about the one from Orange County... "Talk to the Hand"
People would LOVE that shit, and I'd be hella rich and party on the beach 24/7.

this is a disturbing one that would probably be banned

"Bullets don't kill people, I do"

and

on the front of a shirt...

"I got asked out today"
"Really? What did you say?"

on the back it says

"I dunno I was already outside so I said 'uh sure maybe later'"

Life’s a Bitch
Slap it

Slacker’s parachute packing company…(A bunch of stuff)…Here’s to hopin’ it’ll open.

Yeah, I had that bomb squad one. I got in trouble a few times for wearing it in like the 6th grade. Mine was one of those schools that freaked out if they percieved anything to look like a weapon, or be "gang related" (that was their favorite). Personally, I like the one I just bought:

Jesus Is Coming
(hide the porn!)

Last thing you want to hear from your freind when you jump off the ledge to bungee jump
"I thought it was my turn"

Yeah, I had that bomb squad one. I got in trouble a few times for wearing it in like the 6th grade. Mine was one of those schools that freaked out if they percieved anything to look like a weapon, or be "gang related" (that was their favorite). Personally, I like the one I just bought:

Jesus Is Coming
(hide the porn!)
How old are you?

This would have to be in tiny print..

"If you can read this, you're too damn close."

Yeah, I had that bomb squad one. I got in trouble a few times for wearing it in like the 6th grade. Mine was one of those schools that freaked out if they percieved anything to look like a weapon, or be "gang related" (that was their favorite).

In the DODs school I went to in Germany, three girls got arrested because they all accidentally wore a red sure the same day. "Gang activities"

Keep in mind that this was on a military base...

Best shirt ever: http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a112

I have a few:


"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems"
"I live in my own little world, but that's ok... they know me here"
"Rock is dead, long live paper and scissors"
"Your lips keep moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah"
"It's hard to show I care, since I DON'T"

"I'm hooked on Oriental Drugs!"

And then the classic
"hukd awn foniks werkd fer mee!"

sure its not topical anymore but:

if you can read this, you now have SARS

I hate those shiirts, the only good one is "I'm not very smart but I can lift heavy things"

They stand for a culture that's trying to be unique and all it is is becoming cliche. You would never see me in one of those mass produced crackfactory shirts.

Here's a good nerd shirt:

"Bump"

I have a few:
"Rock is dead, long live paper and scissors"


That would be the most awesome shirt ever

My personal faves:

1. "You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me."

2. "If you're a real Goth, then where were you when we sacked Rome?"

Here's a good nerd shirt:

"Bump"
I'd wear it

My personal faves:

1. "You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me."

2. "If you're a real Goth, then where were you when we sacked Rome?"

That second kicks ass, but the first one sucks.

"Nuke a gay communist baby seal for Christ"

"665: Neighbor of the beast"

Here's some I made up!

"I'm not a Commie, I just think that Stalin is cool"

"I love Bush, I know this, because the Government told me so"

"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO BUSH"

Eh...

Classic Engrish.
http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/Hate.jpg

"665: Neighbor of the beast"

but 665 would be over the road somewhere, probably off down the st :/

Classic Engrish.
http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/Hate.jpg

My friend has that shirt.

It's so awesome.

That would be the most awesome shirt ever

I got it from a catalog called "Things you never knew existed". Or something like that. they have a website


http://www.johnsonsmith.com/website/aspfiles/home.asp

There are lots of other good ones there too.

This one should take you right to the shirts.
http://www.johnsonsmith.com/website/store/search.asp?UID=2004090122510038&keyword=jshirt&cat_keyword=jwear

I'm wearing a t-shirt at the moment which says

reality / re-a-li-ti / - something
that happens when you are
not playing computer games

It's made by a company called Withit. Dunno the site.

"The end days are near! Jesus is coming."
"No worries, we'll nail him again."

Our chess club was gonna make one that said "Checked..." on the front. On the back, it would have a picture of a bishop and the words "Smack my bishop."

I got it from a catalog called "Things you never knew existed". Or something like that. they have a website


http://www.johnsonsmith.com/website/aspfiles/home.asp

There are lots of other good ones there too.

This one should take you right to the shirts.
http://www.johnsonsmith.com/website/store/search.asp?UID=2004090122510038&keyword=jshirt&cat_keyword=jwear

Niiiiice. Bookmarked ;)


Hey, I have that "people like you are the reason people like me need medication" shirt...

Niiiiice. Bookmarked ;)


Hey, I have that "people like you are the reason people like me need medication" shirt...

I thought of getting that one. But I already picked out 7 others and didn't want to spend too much money.

I have a shirt that says:

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals

Here's some I made up!

"I'm not a Commie, I just think that Stalin is cool"

"I love Bush, I know this, because the Government told me so"

"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO BUSH"

Eh...

I would BUY the third one...

This one's pretty good too.
http://www.hotoffthepressonline.com/wizbrain.jpg

Oh well . . . nobody else said it so how about . . .



GAYS AGAINST BUSH

or

LESBIANS AGAINST BUSH

For the guys:
I'm with stupid
(arrow pointing down to the belt-line)

For the gals:
This is not my face
(you can probably guess)

:D Aiera

For the guys:
I'm with stupid
(arrow pointing down to the belt-line)

For the gals:
This is not my face
(you can probably guess)

:D Aiera

I love those. Absolutely love them.

You know those shirts that have weird sayings

Shirts talk?!?! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The shirts are taking over the world!!! Phear the shirts!!!

Oh ... *whew* ... sorry .... I was just handed a valium ...

FUCK.

Kiss me, I'm a Commie. (arround the hammer&sickle)

Free Saddam (oh the death that would follow)

I'm going to drink the blood of your first born child.

i @r3 t3h ub3rl33t pW3nz0r, ph34r m3!

Red Stripe beer, its beer. Hoooray Beer!

Pedro for Presdient! (Napoleon Dynamite)

Vote for Pedro.
Rock the Casbah.


actually those are just ones I need to make.

SOme things I'd like to see on a t-shirt(from bumperstickers, George Carlin, or my own imagination)

"I am the evil twin"

"You'll find out why I'm smiling in a few seconds."

"My other ride is your mom."

"Let's play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself."

"This T-shirt is made from 100% jewish gay whale skin."

*A picture of Jesus looking very angry* "I spoke to my dad and you're going straight to hell."

"I'd smack you, but shit splatters."

"If you stare long enough, I might do a trick."

The last one already is on a shirt, my friend has it.

Saw a girl with large breasts and a tight T-shirt that simply said-"Look once,look twice,now FUCK OFF!!" -....So I did.
Another one I saw said "Jesus is coming!.....look busy!"

I wanted to get a T-shirt in Quebec that said this:

La vie est simple. Manger. Dormir. Fait rien!

(translate that yourself!)

I suck at French,but it's something like "Life is simple,Eat,sleep....something"

Engrish.com (http://engrish.com/) has some great ones:
http://engrish.com/image/engrish/urine-tshirt.jpg

A *true* classic (http://engrish.com/image/engrish/spreadbeaver.jpg) (language warning)

The best shirt I have is my BMEzine shirt--"Thank God I'm Castrated". I wish I had one that said "Polymer Chemists do it 10,000 times a day" or something along those lines.

Jesus Saves, the rest of you take 3d6 damage

Or even...

Jesus Saves

Passes to Moses...he shoots....he scoooooooooores!

How about phrases from songs in the 80s like:

Everybody Wang Chung Tonight

or

I'm Hungry Like The Wolf


Another idea is twisted poerty for example:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm a schitzophrenic,
and so am I.

Here are a few that I have seen that are really funny:
"Keep staring, I might do a trick."
"Reality is a nice place, but I would never live there."
"Stop Reading My Shirt"

And here is a really stupid T-shirt saying I made up, that I kind of wish I had:
"Support Wildlife-Shoot PETA Members

I got the idea from a T-shirt I saw that said, "Support Wildlife-Throw a Party".

I've got one that says "Rehab is for quitters"

I also say one the other day saying "Please Lord, make me skinny. Or make my friends fat"

Another good one is "And on the Sixth day, God created Manchester"

I like one from Carlin: It was a joke, asshole.
And a girlie: Yes, they're real.

One for the ladies:
"You've Been Naughty, Go to my Room"

Guys:
An arrow up accompanied by the quote "THE MAN"
An arrow down with the quote "THE LEGEND"

Billy Connoly- "never trust a man, who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, donsn't try it on"

Billy Connoly- "If you can lie on the floor without holding on, you're sober"

I got one (my FAVORITE) that says

Sometimes the Majority means all of the idiots are on the same side.

I got one (my FAVORITE) that says

Sometimes the Majority means all of the idiots are on the same side.

haha i like that one :D

I can't take credit for these, but these are my personal favorites:

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you in a court of law.

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Ha, ha, ha.....I don't get it.

I'm laughing because I have no idea what is going on.

Don't give me that attitude......I brought my own.

If you see me getting smaller it means I'm walking away.

Normal....that's a nice word.....what does it mean?

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.

People like you are the reason people like me have to take medication.

Normal people scare me.

And one I think that they should make for girls:

"Hey, buddy, stop looking at my chest!"

(If you are slow I'm referring to the place that they usually put words on T-shirts.)

I suck at French,but it's something like "Life is simple,Eat,sleep....something"
close, but exact opposite :D

Eat, Sleep, Do Nothing.

There are only 10 kinds of people.
Those who understand binary and those who don't.

I did not escape, they gave me a day pass.

I think it would be fun to have a parody of the "Not My President" shirt that has Bush's picture on it. So, if Kerry loses, have that shirt with his picture and the same expression written on it

Smile. It confuses people!

hehe. i love those shirts. i always use this saying...

doesnt expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

more of my faves...


dont piss me off. i'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

i'm not antisocial. i just dont like you.

who the hell are you and why are you and why are you reading my shirt?

A play I wrote called for two of the character to be wearing "I 'heart' San Francisco" T-shirts, but for the first workshop the company only had one so one of the characters wore one that said "I 'heart' Your Mom" I seriously considered changing the script to include that...

One I saw on TV that busted me up (not as much as "Rock is dead, long live Paper and Scissors".... that was f'n hillarious)

"I'm what Willis was talkin' 'bout."

I think a good saying for a T-shirt would be:
"You're pretty.
Will you go out with me?"

some shirts i saw and a friend sells.

"I fart in your general direction"
"Your mother was a Hamster and your father smelt of elderberries"
"Chuthulu for President - this time vote for the Greater Evil"
Front - "Make 7" Back - "Up Yours"
"I have the body of a GOD - Buddah was a God"
"I am in shape - Round is a shape"
"Pokethulu - Gonna get you all"

I have a T-shirt with the word "SALAPU" and a big 1 on the back and a big american samoan flag on the front. (Nicky Salapu was in goal for american samoa in the soccer match against Australia where they conceded 31 goals). Other ideas:

L ame
I mitation of
F air
E xistence

or

L eider
I mmer
E ine
B ittere
E nttäuschung

(Liebe means 'love' and the other text 'unfortunately always a sore disappointment')

or:

"Vote ME in 2010!" (in the US, it would be 2012)

I just saw a FU9

Laughed my a$$ of at that one.

Weapon of Class Destruction

Your favourite band sucks.

:D

"Save the Animals! Eat PETA members instead!"

"Christ is coming. The chuch is in trouble..."

"Christ called, he wants his name taken off of your faith"

"Vote for bin Laden, the terrorists have won anyway"

"If you think you live in a democracy, why does an elector do your voting?"

On the front:
"This is my body, given for you. Do this in rememberence of me.
This is my blood, shed for you. Do this in rememberence of me"
On the back:
"This shirt brought to you by 'Christians for Canibalism and Vampirism' "

I'm a medical student so I made a t-shirt that reads: "I'm not a doctor yet, but I'll play one with you."

People in my year are putting in requests to have them made. :p

If you're really fat
"Bombsquad"

I'm a medical student so I made a t-shirt that reads: "I'm not a doctor yet, but I'll play one with you."

People in my year are putting in requests to have them made. :p

Excellent. I'll take one in XL, black.

"Doctors are idiots...I should know, I'm going to be one." :D

When i was in china about ten years ago, two popular ones were

Bum Equipment

and

Missouri Slim Plastic Bag

i'd like to see one that said

cd /; rm -r *

Front: Hi your beautiful, want to go out with me?
Back: FUGLY BIATCH!

Front: This side Front
Back: (upside down) Wrong side Idiot.

My 8 year old came up with this and I want it on a tee shirt:

Talk to the booty cause the hands off duty

lolol :p

Another good one is a Che Guevara shirt that says "Brought to you by capitalism". Most people do no get it.

"All those who believes in telekenisis raise my hand"

legendary...

Excellent. I'll take one in XL, black.

"Doctors are idiots...I should know, I'm going to be one." :D


How 'bout,
"some where out there, there is a Doctor who barely Passed...
and he has an appointment with someone."

How 'bout,
"some where out there, there is a Doctor who barely Passed...
and he has an appointment with someone."
Our med student's society had a shirt saying "sex, drugs and disease control." And it had a pic of this stick figure playing air guitar with a stethoscope.

i liked a few i saw at leeds festival

paramedic green with a white cross with "paraletic" written underneath...the irony was not missed by the St.Johns ambulance people who had to carry one of them wearing a t-shirt to the first aid tent... :D

"Save the whales, kill a Norwegian."

"I'm smiling, because you've all finally driven me insane."

"I'm only wearing black untill they make something darker."

The best one I've ever seen is:

No, I don't have a fucking reward card.

The best one I've ever seen is:

No, I don't have a fucking reward card.


LOL Love that one!

There are so many Engrish shirts, but I have no money at the moment. Based on a shirt I saw once:

"I'm confused...wait...no I'm not, or am I? Awww dammit."

Our med student's society had a shirt saying "sex, drugs and disease control." And it had a pic of this stick figure playing air guitar with a stethoscope.

Why do I find this immesely amusing?!

I've got a Cotton Expressions one that says "And God said <Maxwells Photonic Equasions here> and ther was light."

And one that says "Darwin loves you."

Back at the beginning of October, a bunch of us in my dorm got together to make t-shirts for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We wrote things on them with pink fabric paint. Mine just says "I Support Breast Cancer Research," but two of them were fairly amusing. One of the guys put "I Support Breasts" on his, and one of the girls put, "Mammogram These . . . It's the Breast Choice!"

Another good one is a Che Guevara shirt that says "Brought to you by capitalism". Most people do no get it.

I saw one recently with the Che portrait ... with Mickey Mouse ears.

My favs are:

"Look at my chest when I'm talking to you!"

On a fat guy at the bar "I beat annorexia"

"Bikers are pussies"

"I Love Haliburton"

"Free hand lotion (arrow pointing down) dispense here"

My all time fav is:

"50,000 battered women, and I eat mine plain"

W ashing
I roning
F ucking
E tc


Sorry if it was linked already. Didn't check links.

Not a shirt slogan but a kodak moment.

A friend of mine who was in the navy was stationed in Japan. Being an Anime fan he frequents many a hobbie store reguarly.

He told me of this incident.

He (being obviously a Gaijin) was wearing his T-shirt with a picture of GUNDAM on it, when he turned around a saw this child (Obvious Japanese) wearing a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse on it. Both of them stared at each other... looked at each other's shirt and both smiled.

He always regretted not having a camera with him on that day.

Once got an email with a picture of a girl wearing a tshirt that said :




Stop staring at my tits!
................................(touch them)

My tute group at uni has rude t-shirt days.
We've had a few good ones...
"Tell your boyfriend I said thanks"
"To be taken orally for overnight relief"
And, in the form of an eye chart (with no spaces and words cut off the end of lines and stuff) "Read this while I stare at your tits"

I'm sure there are more, but I can't remember them.